Naima B. Robert – Secrets To A Successful Marriage Message to Muslims from the Dark Side
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of marriage and embracing gratitude in achieving a successful marriage. They stress the need to be supportive and partnering with others, as it is important for everyone to be strong and strong in their marriage. They also emphasize the importance of embracing gratitude and finding one's own humility and realistic expectations in marriage. The speakers stress the importance of avoiding negative emotions and finding a safe space for marriage, and encourage others to embrace their desire and find peace in relationships.
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah AR salatu salam ala Rasulillah, I would like to
firstly start by doing what I always do whenever I am blessed to
be in a gathering like this, and that is to say simply
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah, that we have been blessed to be in a space where
Allah subhanaw taala name is mentioned, and where we are joined
with our believing brothers and sisters on the search for hair.
There are some people who intended to be here. It wasn't in their
color, and they're not here. And some of you, you didn't even know
about this a week ago. And here you are, By Allah's grace. So I
said Hamdulillah that he has brought us here together in sha
Allah to be reminded.
Actually, I've come all the way
to address you. from Egypt, actually.
I live in Egypt at the moment, I came via London and other law I'm
here with you. And I've come to you with a message.
It's a very strong message. It's a message you may not have heard
before. And it's a message from the dark side.
How many of you are married? Do you put your hands up?
Okay, how many of you would like to be married? But your hands up?
How many of you wish you were not married? Don't put your hands up.
Okay, so I have a question for the honest ones in the room.
Who here has ever been annoyed with their spouse? Your hands up?
Mashallah, thank you. Thank you, brother.
Who here is at the moment annoyed with their spouse right now you
don't have to put your hand up. But just acknowledge that right
now. You know what? Yeah, we're going through some issues. And
then Who here thinks that they may, one day in the future, be
annoyed with their spouse? Put your hand up?
If you don't put your hand up, then you're delusional because for
sure you will one day be annoyed with your spouse SubhanAllah. So
I asked these questions. Because we, as human beings, and as
Muslims, we have a very strange idea of marriage and married life.
I'd like to share a little bit about my story in sha Allah to
give you some context. So hamdulillah
if you don't know anything about me, I was born in Leeds, and I
grew up in Zimbabwe, and I became a Muslim while I was at
university. So I'm a revert. And I became Muslim at university. I got
married soon after I was about 22 and Al Hamdulillah. If anyone
remembers dower in the late 90s, early 2000s. So much hope so much
passion for the deen wanting to do the right thing wanting to be good
Muslims. And hamdulillah Allah subhanaw taala sent to me, my
Muslim brother.
And I married at 22 and hamdulillah to a revert. And we
had five children together. We ended up living in the UK and then
going to Egypt and living there for 10 years. And in that time, we
learned the Arabic Quran, we raised our children. And one day,
I had gone to dinner with a friend or the sister of mine, and I left
my husband at home with the children. He was at work and then
he came home. And when I came home, it was it. He was already
asleep. And my youngest needed me. So I went to sleep with my
youngest.
When I woke up in the morning, I was woken up by my daughter
saying, Daddy's not waking up.
You. And some of you may have heard the story, but it's
important for today's conversation.
I went in to check on my husband and he was unconscious. And we
couldn't get him to respond. We didn't know what had happened. We
call the ambulance and they came and they took him to hospital to
see what was happening. And long story short, he had had a stroke.
And he was in a coma with brain damage. And they did not think
that he would wake up.
So in a moment, our world's turned upside down.
Allahu Akbar.
They had him in hospital under observation.
He didn't respond. Although he was stable.
And as a family, we had to come to terms with what it would mean if
he woke up and was damaged and was
not be able to be the husband and the father and man that he had
been, we had to come to terms with the possibility of him staying in
a coma long term, because as you know, we never can tell. And we
had to come to terms with the possibility of him never waking
up.
A couple came to see me at the hospital.
In fact, notice sister came to see me at the hospital. And she said,
how are you? And I said, sis, to be honest, I don't know.
She said, I want to give you something.
And what that sister gave me, you know, I don't even remember that
sister's face. But what she gave me I don't know her name. And I
don't remember her face. But what she gave me is a gift that I have
given to 1000s of people in that time, and I'm going to give that
gift to you as well. And it's a gift of a true story about a
couple whose child was terminally ill.
And this child was about six years old. And she was in the hospital
and the doctors were saying, She's not going to make it.
So the parents would go everyday to the hospital, to check on their
daughter. And the doctors would tell them more bad news.
And every time they would give them the news, the husband would
look at his wife and say, not yet.
They will come back the next day, the doctors would give them more
bad news. The husband said his wife, not yet. And this happened
day in and day out until one day they came. And they were told that
their daughter was no more.
And then the husband turned to his wife and said now
and they both fell into sujood of shocker.
The hospital staff were horrified.
What is this? You've just lost it? What? Are they crazy? What are
they doing? Why are they saying that? Why are they making such
good? What is happening
is Pamela
and when they asked the question, the couple said, we were blessed
to be a mother and father of this beautiful little girl for six
whole years. And in those years we had the honor of parenting her of
loving her of caring for her the reward of looking after her when
she became ill. We are grateful to Allah subhanaw taala for what we
had with her.
And that is why we are Institute of Chicago.
When I heard that story, my brothers and sisters, I decided
that I would do exactly the same thing.
No matter that I had had 15 years with my husband, I knew that
I could never be ungrateful for that time that I had had with him
and everything that came with it. So I decided if luck other Allah,
Allah subhanaw taala decided to take him home. I would be one of
those who would be Institute. And so it was
a week or so later, at 2am My phone rang and the doctor said
Islam aleikum wa Subotica salaam he said he had
Panama the details of it do not even register anymore. But they
tried and nothing could be done and he is he has returned to
Allah.
And so just like
put the phone down and then made sujood.
Everyone here who is married or has been married or would like to
be married.
This is my message to you from the dark side.
Your time with your spouse is finite.
It is not limitless.
There are no guarantees your time with your spouse
is literally sand falling through an hourglass.
So everybody who right now if you have a spouse, no matter if you
put your hand up and you said that you were annoyed or that you're
annoyed or whatever.
Ask yourself
What if Allah took him tomorrow?
What if Allah took her next week?
Am I prepared for that?
Have I lived in the knowledge that this person is on loan
To me,
I don't own this person this does a person doesn't own me they are
on loan. They are mn
Allah subhanaw taala has trusted me with this person. And Allah
subhanaw taala will take back what belongs to him.
So few of us live with the reality that our loved ones are on loan to
us, we take them for granted, we get annoyed, we get put off, we
put everything else ahead of them, because we think they'll always be
there.
So my message to you from the dark side, the first message is,
don't do that.
Don't take your spouse for granted because Wallahi they are on loan.
This is one of the lessons that I learned.
One of the main lessons that I learned from my experience
hamdulillah it's helped me and I pray that in the law that it it
lands with anyone if if you picked up what I was putting down there,
just just give me an indication that you get it
hamdulillah
so I just want to share with you just off the back of that
experience and other experiences of my own and others just want to
share with you five lessons five of those keys to a successful
marriage.
And let's be frank with each other.
A successful marriage is one in which spouses can help each other
to gain Allah's pleasure and earn Jana. Yes, we agreed on this. So
for a minute, let's forget all the nonsense from Hollywood,
Bollywood, social media, our families, our communities, and
what everyone else is saying is successful. Because today we are
in an epidemic of unrealistic expectations
and concern with the dunya that is destroying our homes
and selfishness and self centeredness that is breaking
apart families.
So let's all firstly come to an agreement that is truly successful
marriage is one in which the husband and the wife help each
other towards gender. If we can agree on that, we've got something
to build on.
So the first thing, the first key is to be intentional.
The Prophet SAW Selim said in the vignette, 30 actions are backed by
intention.
And we know how difficult it is with other human beings,
especially the spouse, children as well. There's so many personal
things that come into play, we can forget that Hey, hold on a minute.
This is for Allah.
This man, this woman is a man. And whatever I do for this person is
for Allah subhanaw taala for him for his sake.
Everything that we know this, I'm not here to share a hadith and I
have to let you all know. I'm simply here to remind you
because sometimes we forget. And the reminder benefits the
believer. We get so used to men going out to work so you can pay
bills. We are grateful. But it's for Allah.
This is your path towards him and his pleasure. Sisters, we get so
fed up with cooking every day and making sure his food is this
particular way that he likes. Right? Oh no.
Forgetting this is part of my a bad. This is just one of the ways
in which I can earn Allah subhanaw taala is pleasure. When you speak
kindly to your wife, when you listen to your husband, when you
help your wife with the kids, when you give your husband some ease
when he's come home when you help in the household. When you look
after his mother in law, when you call her father, all of these
little interactions that are so mundane.
These are all acts of worship when you have the intention.
And how many of you would be more willing to do that thing that you
know he likes? If you knew that this is not even for you my
friend? This is not even for you. This is for Allah subhanaw taala
how many of the brothers would feel the same about their wives? I
suppose you listen my darling it's not about you. This is accurate.
Okay, this is accurate.
When I
give to you, when I forgive you, when I listen to you when I am
kind when I'm forgiving when I'm patient,
when I'm supportive, when I'm strong when I lead, when I set
boundaries, all of this is all part of me showing up as the
husband or wife that Allah subhanaw taala wants me to be.
It's not personal. This is akhira This is me investing in my
hereafter. Because I know Allah subhanaw taala is counting all of
it. Allah subhanaw taala is aware brothers, sisters, every time that
you push back against your knifes in order to be able to honor your
wife or your husband, this is Allah is Aware. This is part of
you, purifying yourself refining yourself as a believer, sisters
every time.
Every time that you hold your tongue, when you know you want to
just let loose for the sake of Allah.
This is you refining yourself in a way that Allah subhanaw taala
loves. So being intentional, being intentional, changes the flavor of
daily life completely. And I would invite everybody to consider how
intentional they are in all aspects of their lives, not just
in marriage, but also with our parenting. Like how we are with
our families with our work. How many of us are doing those daily
deeds seeking Allah's face,
the more we can do that, the more Baraka there will be in our lives
inshallah.
The second key to a successful marriage, according to our
definition, is to embrace gratitude.
Son of Adam, if he had one value of gold, what would he want?
You would want to you would want another this is our nature as
human beings. Unfortunately, however,
gratitude magnifies what you already have.
And when you embrace gratitude, brothers sisters, it allows you to
feel how very blessed you are, to have what you have. Because there
are many who do not have what you have.
This is the shift we need to make many of us focus on what we do not
have put your hand up if you know that's true.
We focus on what we don't have, what hasn't happened yet, what
didn't go the way we wanted it to go, the failings, the failures,
how much we've fallen short, that's what we focus on.
That's a lot of the time, why we are so unhappy
in our relationships with ourselves with our whole life
trajectory, because we are looking at what's not there, and what's
not going well.
But all it takes is a shift in perspective, for you to start
actually looking at what is there?
What is happening? What is going well,
what are the blessings of hon Allah
for B A l era because the ban, you know, that's true.
which of the Blessings of your Lord will you deny, you could
absolutely not stop if you started to count your blessings. And I
challenge everyone in this room to a competition to see who will run
out of blessings first.
Because you know, we would be here until Asia.
Embracing gratitude in your marriage is being grateful for
your spouse, for the good that you get from that spouse.
For the ease that they give you for the blessings that have come
into your life as a result of that spouse.
So much of the time we're looking at our life partner with critical
eyes, put your hand up. No, that's true.
Why can't she be more like this? Why can't he be more like that? My
mother was this way. But my father always said this. But I read in
the book it said that but I saw on social media this
looking at your partner with critical eyes. What will you see?
The failings, the failures, the falling short, looking at your
partner with the eyes of gratitude allows you to see the blessings,
the baraka, the bounty.
And the more we focus on the blessings, the baraka and the
bounty, the more blessed we feel.
And I'm going to drop this one
For those who are doubting this, many of you think that for your
marriage to improve, the other person needs to change. You don't
have to put your hand up.
You don't have to put your hands up. I know, many of us feel the
problems we're having in our marriages because he doesn't do
the problems we're having in our marriage. She doesn't he always
she never.
I will invite you to embrace something that is much more
powerful and positive and productive. And that is to embrace
gratitude, and stop looking at the good of your spouse and
appreciating it.
When a woman feels appreciated, she goes the extra mile. Guess
what, when a man feels appreciated, he goes the extra
mile brothers. Is that true? Yes.
It's interesting to me, when I hear complaints of the brothers
and I hear complaints of the sisters very often, it's exactly
the same things.
I feel underappreciated. I feel like he she takes me for granted.
I feel he's never satisfied. She's never satisfied. Again, it's
because we are doing it to ourselves. It's not because your
husband is not doing enough. It's not because your wife is not doing
enough. It's because you're looking at what they're not doing,
and not appreciating what they are doing. Now, of course, there's
always room for improvement. We know this.
But a spouse who feels appreciated is more likely
to make changes than one who feels like it's never enough. It doesn't
matter what I do, you're never happy. So embracing gratitude,
because eventually and I'm going to keep bringing it back to this.
Your spouse is a man.
Any good that you're getting through your spouse, they're just
a vessel. It's just what Allah subhanaw taala has decreed for you
that's what you're getting through this person. So for the person who
is being the vessel, you are blessed and honored. And for the
person who's receiving Allah's hair, the gratitude is eventually
for Allah subhanaw taala.
So if you're ungrateful to your spouse, who are you actually being
ungrateful to?
Allah subhanaw taala the one who brought the spouse in the first
place, the One who created the spouse, the one who put you two
together. So embracing gratitude Inshallah, and trust me, I am not
sitting here with a stick to beat anyone's, Hey, y'all ungrateful
now. This is the nature of human beings. But as a reminder, to be
grateful for what you have. And feel the baraka of what you have
before it's taken away.
That's the message from the dark side. Don't wait for it to be
taken away.
For you to say subhanallah I was so blessed.
He was so this she was so that we were so whatever. Don't wait for
that time. Be grateful now and see the baraka multiply challah.
Third tip for the successful marriage, my dear brothers and
sisters is be Asherah focused.
This dunya is a deception.
I'm gonna say that again, this dunya is a deception.
And it will never be enough.
It will never be enough. We hear so much now of couples splitting
up because people want more. They want better, they want younger,
they want richer, they want more more more well law, he will never
find your satisfaction, you will never get your film.
Because this dunya is not designed to fulfill us.
And the truth is, as Muslims, we've lost many, many important
values that previous generations had.
Many of us see previous generations as toxic.
It's problematic, backward, old fashioned.
But they knew a few things that we've lost today. Because today
the Muslim is focused on dunya
and being happy in this dunya
and having all the wonderful things in this dunya and having
the best Instagram feed in this dunya
to be the talk of the town to be the envy of your friends to have
the biggest wedding, that most handsome husband or whatever the
case may be. We're competing
In the dunya, and we're losing our Acura in the process.
It is so much easier to love and respect and serve and protect your
spouse. When all you're thinking of is, this is an investment in
Acura.
This is an investment in the next life. And when you invest in
Acura, you can never lose. Is that not true?
That is the one investment that will never fail. So sister,
brother, if right now, you're simply holding on, you're not
happy? It's not great. It's not all you dreamed it would be? Let's
be real. Not all marriages are a walk in the park. In fact, most of
them go through the woods and the deserts and the mountains and this
way and that right. But some people are in relationships where
they are not happy. And that's true.
I would ask you to please consider.
Can I worship Allah? While I'm in this situation? Can I give this
person their rights for the sake of Allah?
Can I invest in my akhira through this person? And if the answer is
yes, then says please take heart for all is not lost. Brother Take
heart all is not lost.
When we can be accurate or focused, trust me, it removes the
ego from the situation. It removes our desires and craving for the
dunya. And what this dunya has, because anybody who's lived in
this world long enough, knows, all that glitters is not gold.
And those things that we are chasing and that we're fighting
for, they come at a cost.
And we don't bear in mind the true cost of the things that we're
chasing, because we just see the glitter we like get what I want.
But there's a price to be paid for everything. So be very careful
what you choose to buy. Because you will always pay a price in
Sharla. Okay, so the fourth key.
Be realistic.
Be realistic.
Again, we've all been programmed. We've all
been fed, the romance and Hollywood and the Bollywood and
the songs and the social media and everything.
And what happens is we build a false image in our minds of what
marriage should be.
And
the gap between expectation and reality is where frustration lies.
The gap between expectation up here and reality here is where
frustration lies. If your expectations are here, and your
reality is here, you only have a small space for frustration,
right? If your expectations are here, and your reality is here, no
frustration, just satisfaction. But if your reality is here, and
your expectations are up here,
lots of frustration.
And the goal is
to be hopeful. Yes. To aim high. Yes. But also to be realistic and
not delusional.
Newsflash, every one of you is a human being.
We didn't know that, that we
were all human beings, all created with flaws. We will all make
mistakes. Not one of us is perfect.
And yet so often in marriages, we look at the spouse and we expect
them to be perfect. We expect them not to make mistakes. We expect
them to get it right. Every time we expect them to read our minds.
We expect them to know exactly what to do every single time and
when they don't. It's a problem.
Where did we get this from?
It's not from the deen. It's not even from the Prophet sallallahu
Sallam and his family.
And if anybody should have a realistic view of marriage, that
balances reality and hope it's the Muslims. Because we have such a
lofty example in terms of what we are taught that we are live s that
we are garments for each other, that there's so much barakah in
the relationship between the man and the woman. So we have this
hope we have those lofty goals. But then we have the lived
example. And the lived example is real. It's not fairy tales. It's
human nature.
So being realistic means you manage your expense
quotations and I really wish there were more young people in the
audience today maybe we have some young people Mashallah.
But young people need to hear this now even more than us older
people, because the younger generation has completely
overblown ideas of what marriage is the expectations that they have
of their spouse of what marriage looks like, what it feels like
when it should be completely devoid divorced from reality.
So when we can be realistic, and be humble?
This person panel, how many of you have ever looked in the mirror?
With an honest eye?
And ask yourself?
Would I be happy married to myself?
I know it's a strange concept. But if you were honest, and you looked
in the mirror, and you said with with this that I do, and this that
I hate doing, and this that I always say and this this this is
would I be happy being married to myself?
And if the answer is not 100%? Yes. Which it shouldn't be, by the
way, because there's nobody that can look in the mirror and say,
oh, did that it's a yes from me. No, we all have flaws.
We all have characteristics that are not great personality, flaws,
mistakes, that we make things that annoy other people, things that
annoy ourselves.
How many of you are frustrated with yourself because of your own
inabilities whether is that you want to be more on time for this
not coming together, you want to be more in shape, but it's not
coming together. You want to be a better mum. It's not working out,
whatever.
My point is,
if we can come together
in humility, and realistic expectations of each other,
it will remove so much of the unnecessary, unnecessary fitna
between us.
Where is your humility? Where is our humility when we know that
Allah subhanaw taala is the one who will judge us and He knows
everything?
How many of us have lowered the wing of humility to our spouse
when he's having a bad day? When she's having a bad day, when he's
falling short in a certain area when she's not what you wanted? Or
what you expected in any area?
Surely, if Allah subhanaw taala has willed that we are to be
companions on this journey. Surely, this should be a space of
safety.
This marriage should be a space of safety where we can be human and
humble. And say sorry.
And Grow and Give second chances and think the best of each other
have hospitals done.
Surely this should be the space.
But it will only be that space, if we make that decision. And no, not
waiting on your spouse to make that decision. You have to make
the decision. First. You have to let go of the things that are
holding you back from truly having a successful marriage, things like
pride.
Things like arrogance.
expectations that are unrealistic,
whatever it is that's holding you back, you get to make that
decision. And then see how it shows up in your relationship in
your marriage. Insha Allah may Allah bless us all with the best
fifth thing. Now this is again the message from the dark side.
Remember death?
Remember death
How long do you have? Really?
Do you know?
Does any of us know?
So many of the things that we allow to poison our marriages
because we give them attention. We put energy towards them. We go on
and on and on about them.
Those things
are worthless.
There is no need to focus on that thing. But in our heads. It's the
biggest thing. For example, His mum always criticizes your
cooking. You don't have to put hands up it's fine.
Say it's an issue, right? We know how that feels. We don't like it.
I get it. No one likes that.
Is it a reason to destroy a
household though, should it be? Is it a reason to fight every single
week?
Is it a reason to separate in the beds?
Should it be?
That's what I mean about remembering death. Because if we
remember death, and we remembered that hold on this man, this woman
is not guaranteed to be mindful life. He she is a manner.
And I want to do right by this woman or by this man. And I'm not
going to let petty differences get between us. I'm not going to let
minor fitna split up this household, I'm not going to let my
desires split up this household. I'm not going to let my
unrealistic expectations or my terrible temper, or my impatience,
destroy this union. That's a decision Ladies and gentleman,
that is a decision, you get to make it,
I'm not going to let this this this issue, come into this space
and mess up this space.
Because
I don't know how many of us think about this, I'm sure we do. But
our children are watching our every move.
They are breathing the air around us.
They are learning from what we say what we don't say from what we do
and what we don't do.
And so even if for your own sake, you can't be bothered.
Please bear in mind that Allah subhanaw taala has entrusted you
and your husband, you and your wife, with these children. And
that is the work. That is the work. That is before the two of
you.
Sometimes you just have to say it's not about you. It's about
these kids.
It's about akhira. And a manner of these children.
And I was mentioned this, not because I want us to go back to a
time when people said oh, we stay together for the sake of the kids.
We've heard this before, right? I'm sure we've all know about
this, right? People don't always stay together for the sake of the
kids or don't stay together for the sake of the kids. Everyone has
a different view. And what I would say is,
while you don't want to stay in a miserable, toxic marriage for the
sake of your kids,
can you stay in a decent marriage for the sake of your children?
Are you willing to sacrifice a little bit for the sake of your
children?
Are you willing to put your own your own desires to the side for a
bit for the sake of your children?
I don't know. It's a question for all of us to answer. But it's a
very real question. Because the reality is for some couples, yes,
they would be happier apart. The man can't wait for her to go. She
can't wait to kick them out.
But it doesn't end there ladies and gentleman. That is not where
the story ends. And the reason I'm bringing this up, is because I've
noticed in our communities especially online, divorce is
becoming glamorized
divorce. I don't know about what the brothers know. But you
sisters, you know what I'm talking about.
Divorce is becoming glamorized.
Obviously, we know about not wanting to stigmatize divorce the
way it used to be, however, there is a balance that must be struck.
Because yes, you may feel free now that he's not there throwing his
socks all around the place. But the story doesn't end them.
And when we break a family, brothers and sisters, it's not
just you and your spouse, that have to find you lighten you wet
new new ways of living and new lives. Your children have now lost
both parents in the home. And we are all aware of the statistics
for those children. Not only that, what about our families?
What about our parents and their grandchildren? What about the
father in law who loved his son in law and now there's a Masekela
there's a problem. The mother in law who actually wants to see her
grandchildren and now there's a muscular there's a problem.
So, if we are able to just pull back a bit,
remember what we committed to and why.
And do it for the sake of Allah.
Not for the culture.
Not for the community. Not so people won't say your name.
But can you do this for the sake of Allah
Long because I'm the other message from the dark side is that it is
the wild west out there. Who's not married here. Put your hands up
those who are not married. Is it nice? Is it fun?
Is it fun? She's still young she's still young Mashallah.
Those young mashallah young people, they they see live very
differently, Mashallah. But trust me, for those of you who are
married.
And I say this especially I don't know what happens with the
brothers, but I know with the sisters, this can be a fitna Stop
fantasizing about being single.
Stop fantasizing about divorce,
and imagining your life once he's gone, or she's gone, stop doing
it.
Shaitan will get in there. And he will convince you that your life
is going to be so good once you don't have to deal with him and
his family anymore. Once she's out, and you're free to do
whatever you want, you're going to find a better one. This one
doesn't deserve you all of this, all these thoughts here that we
are seeing circulating clearly Takala.
It's not what you think.
And you ask anybody who has been single for the year, two years,
five years, six years trying to find a spouse. They know how awful
it is. And any sister or brother who's a single parent who's trying
to make a life, you ask them how hard it is to before you go to
divorce, or you push for a divorce. Or you say if you do this
and that I'm leaving. Before you do that, before you threaten your
husband before you threaten your wife, please go and speak to a
sister who has been divorced for three years. Not the one who just
left by the way. Because the one who just left she's still in the
afterglow of the freedom. She's loving it.
Three years later, when she realizes actually how important
her husband was in the house.
Many sisters look at their husbands and thank you, what do
you do anyway? What's the point of view?
Because your expectation of what a man must do is here, and maybe
he's maybe around here? Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. And offices, if
you know what I'm talking about, you don't have to, it's fine.
sisters know what I mean. And maybe the brothers do too. Maybe
you hear this at home, I don't know. But the point is, you will
not know the value of your husband or your wife until they are gone.
And in the case of a death, of course, it's too late. There's
nothing you can do. And it's not in your hands. But in the case of
a divorce, especially a divorce that you pushed for.
You've got no one to blame but yourself.
When your children miss their dad, and he doesn't come around as
often as he used to, and it starts to become a bit problematic. This
is the bed
when you want to get married again. And brothers are like how
many kids have you got this for kids?
This is the bed.
When your son says to Mum, I don't want another man in the house, I
don't want you to get married again. And there's a problem and
he's kicking off and you know, he needs his dad to sort them out.
But dad's married somebody else in Morocco.
That's the bed. And I'm not saying that anyone's be I'm not excusing
anyone's behavior. I'm simply holding up a mirror to what's
happening in the community right now. And the way to avoid these
broken homes,
and the way to avoid children growing up without both parents,
and the way to find peace, within your relationship and peace with
what Allah Subhana Allah has blessed you with
is embracing these five keys, to be intentional, to embrace
gratitude, to be accurate, focused, to be realistic, and to
remember death.
And brothers and sisters, this is my reminder to you and my message
from the dark side. Because those of you who are in the marriages,
you have no idea what it's like on the other side. And those of you
whose spouse is still alive you also have no idea what it's like
on the other side. And so I wanted to hopefully give you something to
think about, hopefully something to ponder upon. And I pray that
Allah subhanaw taala accepts it and anything wrong that I've said
it for myself on the shaytaan and all good is from ALLAH spirit
Allah Subhana Allah humara bonobo handig eyeshadow en la ilaha illa
and was tough look at one or two we like to Zach Malankara