Naima B. Robert – Muslim Men Must Maintain a Masculine Frame IS THAT SO TMC E.7 Clip
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The speaker discusses the importance of pursuing a mindset that is focused on protecting and providing, rather than just pursuing means and resources. He emphasizes the need for men to be providers and protectors, rather than just pursuing the means and resources. The speaker also talks about the importance of acknowledging the need for men to be a protective provider and provides context on the meaning of " qualified for" and " streamlining the process" in the conversation.
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And no man worth
his salt,
no man of of means, of of resources,
of emotional
maturity
is going to get him the program of
a woman,
period.
If he does,
I'm interested in how long that's gonna last
and who's gonna be running that relationship.
I think that it's not
I hear you about the resources
and the means,
but I don't think it's about that necessarily.
Because I think that any man
who understands
how Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala created him and
what he created him to do, which was
to lead
and protect and provide, but to lead
spiritually,
mentally, emotionally
to take care of his
family. Right?
Who is
aware of that.
I think it's the masculinity that makes him
know
it's the frame. I think that's what I
wanna say. It's the frame. That's the foundation.
Like, why why else are you going after
the means and the resources? Yeah.
Right? To be a protective provider. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. And and what I tell brothers in
terms of those that aren't married, those that
I that I do work with or just
friends that are in my circle that aren't
married.
Now it's all about provider development, period.
Mhmm. Only engage your time and attention to
things that
enhance your ability to be a protect and
a provide. Mhmm. You
should spend no time
pursuing a system,
period.
If you if you are really
about it and really focused on your faith,
your finances,
fitness
Mhmm.
Finesse.
Mhmm. You're really doing that. Women are gonna
gravitate to it. Yeah. 100%. Not rocket science.
Mhmm. 100%. You're going to come in contact
with women.
Right?
That's just gonna happen. Yeah. And then when
women are women gravitate
to a men to men that have great
programs that are going somewhere. Yeah. 100%.
Right. 100%. And so this thing isn't that
hard.
Right?
So,
again, the the foundation
is
we're we're
apologies. The giving is we're talking about men
that, you know, like, want to be providers
and protectors.
Right? That they understand that that's their role,
and they're going into relationships.
Before I got married, when I was,
excuse me,
when I was, you know,
speaking with my wife, I asked her multiple
times.
I plan to lead. Are you looking to
run this in any kind of way? And
I was I asked that question
with the understanding
that I was completely ready to walk away
from it if her answer was yes.
I have no I had no intention
of marrying a woman that wanted to run
a relationship.
Period.
I want someone who's open and and wants
to be a co a copilot, period.
You mean you were looking for a submissive
woman, brother Nasir?
With a capital s.
Oh, okay.
Oh.
Yeah. This is a trigger word, by the
way, nowadays. This is this is a triggering
word. Okay? So we may need to give
some context here.
That that's exactly what I was looking for
because I knew what I was doing to
the table. I knew that and that if
you ask my wife, she will ask. One
of the things that that she'll say
is the reason why she married me is
I had a plan, and I demonstrated how
I was working my plan. Mhmm.
She knew what I what I had been
working on, where I plan to take us
in terms of this this marriage for the
next 5, 15 years. She could clearly see
it and see the things that I've been
doing prior to meeting her
that leads to that happening.
Mhmm. That that light blew her mind. Mhmm.
Right? Yeah. And so I knew what I
was looking for. I knew the type of
player, the type of person I needed on
the team.
I wasn't willing to settle for anything
other than
that. And, you know,
my wife has a degree and is educated,
but that wasn't my interest at all. Mhmm.
Yeah. Less about that. I'm more concerned about,
you know, realness,
how she's gonna be as a mother.
Right? How is she going to support me
as I take this family in a certain
direction?
Mhmm.
Right? That's that's what I'm looking for, and
that's what I think the men that I
hear from, that's what they're
compliment,
not complicate.
No man it's like the post,
one of my UK brothers, told me, he
says no man in history has ever been
turned on and attracted and aroused by,
academic qualifications.
Just just isn't what we're looking for.
Right? And this hurts sisters. This hurts women.
This it's it's it's it hurts.
Because of this unhelpful belief.
Society has reinforced the unhelpful belief that they
pursue academic
accomplishments
Mhmm. Steadily
to qualify for,
a man or to be
held in higher esteem.
That doesn't that doesn't do it for us.
I think the the societal messaging,
if I may be so bold as to
tweak that,
societal messaging is that
pursuing academic goals
and professional goals is superior
to qualifying
for a man. And I have to say
qualify because even the idea of qualifying for
a man is anathema.
What do you mean qualify? What's a man?
What's great about a man? I have to
qualify for him. What do you mean? Can't
you see me?
You know, it's it's that kind of energy.
Right? I'm the queen.
Yeah.
Hence hence men saying,
and you'll hear it often,
men will take a 6 or a 7
with a great personality, and that's agreeable
any day over a 9 or a 10
with that type of attitude.
Hence, the barista or the waitress
in the halal shop has just enough of
a chance as the PhD from Harvard.