Naima B. Robert – Episode 1 Finding The Balance Can you be Devout and Easy Going
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Welcome to our brand new series,
Finding the Balance,
Rediscovering
the Ideal Muslimah. I am so excited to
share this journey with you.
Now,
every hour of every day,
we are bombarded with messages
about who and how we should be as
Muslim women.
Whether it's posts on social media that tell
us to be strong and confident and embrace
girl power or fashion brands and advertisers
that encourage us to beautify and objectify ourselves,
it can be hard to stay focused on
what being a Muslim woman truly means.
Who is the Muslim woman after all?
And what are her abiding characteristics?
And how can we live up to the
standard
that has been set by our creator,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in today's day and
age. Now,
full disclosure,
some might say that it's not healthy to
focus on ideals,
that such ideals put us under unnecessary pressure
and simply set us up for failure
and disappointment.
Some might also say that it's unhelpful to
speak of an ideal Muslimer at all as
we're all created as unique individuals
with our own strengths and weaknesses. And while
this may be true,
I wish to remind myself
and you
that when Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la chose Islam
for us as our Deen,
he set a standard for us.
A high standard?
Yes.
A lofty standard?
No doubt.
An impossible standard?
Not so long as we strive.
The reality is this,
Islam came to elevate us as humans and
as women.
Indeed, Islam
raised us as women from humiliation
and backwardness
to a level of honour, protection
and personal development that was unparalleled.
So how do we embody
the high standards that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and his messenger have set for
us. How do we strike a balance, for
example, between being modest and confident?
Is it possible to be strong and submissive
at the same time or are they diametrically
opposed?
Is there a way to embody both humility
and confidence or do they contradict each other?
These are just some of the questions that
we're going to explore together in this series.
And just a reminder,
the characteristics that we'll be discussing
apply equally to men and women.
So feel free to share this series with
family and friends if you find it beneficial.
First up,
can you be devout and easygoing
at the same time?
So let's start off with the characteristic of
being devout.
But first a definition.
To be devout means to be deeply religious,
reverent or
sincere,
earnest and heartfelt.
Indeed being devout is an action of the
heart, the tongue and the limbs.
How do our hearts
become devoted?
What is devotion of the heart? Well,
it's to live for the sake of Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, for the worship of Allah
and seeking His pleasure in all of our
affairs.
Then we have the devotion of the tongue,
that could be dhikr, speaking the truth, reading
Quran,
enjoining the good, forbidding the evil, and avoiding
the things that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala hates
of Haram speech.
And then there is the devotion of our
limbs.
What do we do?
Where do we go?
This is obedience
in our actions, going towards what he loves
and staying away from that which he hates.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, RadiAllahu Anhu,
who told us that the Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam said, Verily Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la has
said,
whoever shows enmity to a wali of mine,
that I have declared war against him.
And my servant does not draw near to
me with anything more beloved to me than
the religious
duties
I have obligated upon him.
And my servant continues to draw near to
me with the superrogatory
deeds until
I love him.
And when I love him,
I become
his hearing
with which he hears,
and his sight with which he sees,
and his hand with which he strikes, and
his foot with which he walks.
Were he to ask something of me, I
would surely give it to him. And were
he to seek refuge with me, I would
surely grant him refuge.
SubhanAllah.
These are the fruits of the devotion that
we talked about, the devotion of the heart,
the tongue and the limbs.
Because
sister, our lives
are lived in that space between fear and
hope,
devoted to Allah's pleasure, hoping for his pleasure
and fearing his punishment.
In fact Abu Abbas, Abdullah ibn Abbas reports
that
he was riding on a camel one day
behind the Prophet SAW. W. A. W. And
the Prophet SAW taught him a very, very
important lesson and he said to him, young
man,
I will teach you some words.
Again, let's put this in the context of
our conversation about devotion of the heart.
Be mindful of Allah
and he will take care of you.
Be mindful of him and you shall find
him at your side.
If you ask,
ask of Allah.
If you need help,
seek it from Allah. And know that if
the whole world were to gather together in
order to help you, they would not be
able to help you except if Allah had
written so. And if the whole world were
to gather together in order to harm you,
they would not harm you except if Allah
had written so. The pens have been lifted
and the pages are dry.
And this is a reminder for us
on the value that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la
places on our devotion. Because really to be
devout is to take this life seriously,
to do away with, as much as we
can, the distractions that surround us all the
time.
Taking our time on this earth seriously because
we're not guaranteed another day.
Now, someone may be asking, okay, okay, but
can you ever be too devout?
We're all familiar with
our human tendency
to go to extremes. And we know what
happens when we go too hard, and we
go so hard that we end up burning
out.
So what's the balance?
Well, the amazing thing about this Deen is
that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la and his messenger
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam teach us the devotion,
but also what tempers it and that is
being easygoing.
Abu Hurairah told us that the prophet SAW
ALAN said, religion is very easy
and whoever overburdens himself in this religion
will not be able to continue in that
way.
So you should not be extremists
but try to be near to perfection
and receive the good tidings that you'll be
rewarded
and gain strength by worshipping in the mornings,
the afternoons and the last hours of the
night.
In fact Aisha told us as well, Radiallahu
Anha, that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
Do good deeds
properly,
sincerely
and moderately,
and know that your deeds will not make
you enter paradise.
That the most beloved deed to Allah is
the most regular and constant,
even if it was little. So can you
see how these are being balanced?
Our devotion
with
taking it easy on ourselves as well and
respecting the rights of our bodies
and the rights of others. In fact, there
is an amazing story from the seerah where
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam entered the
masjid and he saw a rope stretch between
2 poles and he asked, who's this rope
for? And he was told, this is Zaynab's
rope. When she feels tired from praying the
voluntary prayers and she can't stand anymore, she
holds it for support. You know what the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said?
Untie it. You should pray as long as
you have the energy to do so. And
if you feel tired, then lie down.
This is an example of being easy going
with oneself
and being easy going with the people.
Because Islam encourages us to balance our worship
and not be too extreme on either end
of the spectrum. And the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam was a perfect example of that
balanced middle way.
Now in the next segment, the sisters and
I will be talking about the story of
Maryam Alaihi Salam and reflecting on her devotion
and also digging deeper into how we can
embody the prophet, salamahu alaihi wasalam's advice to
Zaynab. See you then.
In this segment, I'm gonna be speaking to
my sisters, Umtalha and sister Anissa, about what
I've been sharing with you up to now.
You've heard me talking, but now let's turn
it over to the sisters.
We've been talking about devotion, about being devout,
and about being, having a balance with regards
to our deen. When I think about devotion
and that quality of, you know, devoutness,
I always think of Mariam Alaihi Salam. Why?
Why do you think that is?
Because Mariam Alaihi Salam,
she is like the symbol of devotion.
When we hear about Marie Maria Salam in
the Quran,
we have this image that she's, you know,
in hamihrab,
she's secluded,
she is in private
worship,
and that's what, you know, we get from
Mariam
We find that
often when she's described,
Allah mentions
about the qualities of devotion with regards to
Mariam alayhis salam and how she was very,
keen to keep that connection with Allah
And that is the thing that actually
is highlighted more about Mariam and her life.
So it's like
a symbol of, devotion and, we celebrate that
kind of nearness to Allah through Mariam alayhis
salam. I think for me, it's about her
tawakkal, her trust in Allah.
I mean, can you imagine
her seclusion? So she hasn't got anyone else
around her to conversate with, to talk to,
and to have that level of trust that
Allah is going to take care of you
no matter what.
SubhanAllah.
I mean, no matter if the people are
turning against you,
no matter if you're the wrong *, her
devotion
and her tawakkal must have been like for
her to be one of the best women,
another level. Also, I think it's important for
us to, note that when her mother
was expecting,
she vowed to Allah
that
this child is going to be for you.
I have devoted this child for you. She
didn't know whether it's going to be a
boy or a girl. Typically in those times,
it was,
obvious for a man, a male child, to
be in devotion to, say, you know, religious
obligation. But when she had a child, she
realized actually it's not a boy, it's a
girl. And boy is not like the girl,
you know? And then, subhanAllah, her gender did
not impact her contribution. That, you know, like
set the kind of, what's that?
Like mark for Mariam He kind of like
set her path, that she was in the
path of devotion to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And this was
intended from her mother, you know,
So from early on, her mother wanted to
devote this child, not knowing the gender of
this child,
in the service of God, subhanAllah. So from
the conception,
she was intended for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
It makes me think of this idea of,
you know, devoting your children to the service
of Allah. Right? Devoting even ourselves to the
service of Allah because just as you said,
at that time,
a woman or a female would not be
considered worthy of that or, you know, necessarily
correct for that role, Right? And it actually
a lot of different suitable. Right? So in
a lot of religions,
you find that the religious obligations are actually
more on the men than the women.
Right? And the idea of devoting yourself to
God is very much that is a man's
role. The woman is there to support him
in his devotion.
So in our deen, there isn't this idea
that, you know, the men have to be
serious and to be devout and and and,
you know, dedicate themselves to the worship of
Allah, And the women are okay, they can
just take care of things at home. Do
you think that that's something that we've maybe
forgotten about or maybe even appreciate that much
within the deen?
I think it's important that this, idea of
devotion is embodied by both men and women
because the purpose for our creation is to
worship Allah
irrespective of what gender you are. And I
think, one of the things that we need
to internalize,
that aspect of devotion is, you know, core
to our belief, you know, 1st and foremost.
When you look at the Quran, you know,
the first ever command
Allah gives is in Surah Baqarah. I believe
it's ayah 21 where Allah says, O'budurab baqum,
worship you Lord. Why?
Because he created you. So the purpose of
our creation is to worship Allah and this
is irrespective of whether you're a man or
a woman. So
as a believer, as a Muslim, we have
to have this devotion at the core, the
centre of our existence,
because that's
the tie that we have between us and
our creator, the act of devotion. It's not
just that story of this beautiful woman, Masha'allah
Barakala,
that Allah has honored and made her one
of the 4 best? No. It's what can
I take from that story, and how can
I take from those examples? How can I
manifest that into my own life so that
it has an effect on me? Yeah. Of
course. And I think that's, subhanAllah,
amazing that Allah
out of all the women in the history,
he chose 2 women to present as an
example for believing women. And one of them
is Mariam
You know, the other being the wife of
Firaoun.
And if you look into the qualities, you
know, of these two great ladies, because they
are obviously
chosen as role models for believing women. The
key thing that stands out is that their
connection with Allah
Fir'aun's wife, despite being the queen of a
palace, being married to the king, the rich,
you know, she sought the pleasure of Allah
beyond all the pleasures of the dunya. I
mean, in the end, she was killed because
of a belief, but her iman was so
strong. As she was being tortured, she was
desiring a house near Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
A dua that she made remake, you know,
to to have a house built next to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And Mariam
interestingly, one of the key qualities of Mariam
Allah describes is,
that she was of the ones who submitted
or who complied with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
Because when the news came that you're gonna
have a child, she was like, no man
has touched me. Yeah. Yeah. But that's what
the point. The point is, that's the will
of Allah. So she has to submit to
the will of Allah, irrespective of how she
felt. You know, her feeling didn't get in
the way. Yeah. Because I I think we
need to, you know, just point this out
for the viewers as well. It's just to
as a reminder that this is an unmarried
young woman Yes. Coming out pregnant. Yeah. Okay?
And she's, you know, like, and and, of
course, the people were shocked because they said,
you know, your father was a pious man,
you know, and and all of that. But
to bear that kind of shame and and,
you know, I'm sure hostility and stigma,
because she knew, you know, what this really
was and, subhanAllah, what,
you know, what a trial to go through
for such a reward, subhanAllah. So Yeah. So
even that, again, I mean, pulling that into
the modern day context.
Sometimes, you know, we go through life judging
people and thinking this of them and not
thinking good of our believing brothers and sisters.
But actually, you don't know why they're going
through this or if Allah has willed that
for them. So
every moment of her life and her journey,
we can actually pull lessons today
and reflect on them.
Yeah. I think so. And I think, subhanAllah,
her journey
provides a lot of comfort and a lot
of strength for for any woman who's going
through, like, you know, a struggling situation.
Think about it. You know, she gets that
news that she's going to have a child,
not any child, a child who's going to
be a messenger of Allah, and then she's
told, okay, now you have to go away
from your family.
So it's like hardship upon hardship. SubhanAllah.
And give birth on your own. And Yeah.
Because when when you look around, you know,
when a woman is expecting, you know, she
needs all the support that she can get.
But at that time, Allah took her away.
And, you know, it seems like this is
the most,
like, you know, difficult thing to do for
for a woman to be away from her
family and loved ones.
But there was another lesson and that lesson
is that so she can
be trusting and have full tawakkul in Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And how many times does
that happen? How many times
does Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
literally bring you to your knees? Right? You
hit that rock bottom and that is where
you find your strength. That is where you
find your that is where you find your
iman. That's where you reconnect with Allah knowing
only he can help me now. You know?
If it wasn't for Allah giving us these
30 days of fasting where we can abstain
and fill that hunger, those hunger pangs so
we can connect to the poor, We can
control our desires, you know, so that we
can appreciate more. We would probably eat ourselves
to death,
so we need more, in my opinion. We
need more hardships in order to rebuild ourselves,
just like our bones, you know, where you
break the bones and then it repairs and
it becomes stronger. In in the ocean, the
more deep you go,
the the the more treasures you take out.
But you have to be willing to dive
deep, you know. And and sometimes when Allah
puts us through these struggles, you know, these
moments are an opportunity for us to really
upgrade, you know, in the sight of Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And provided you have the right tools, you
know, and that tool is the devotion
to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Otherwise, we will
be like we'll be like, what do other
people do when they hit rock bottom? Right?
Exactly. Exactly. They turn to drink, they turn
to drugs,
they become nihilistic,
they become suicidal.
You know, all of those those,
coping mechanisms,
that people who do not have faith,
that's all they have. Yeah. No. During COVID,
you know, one of the oft, you know,
like,
searched,
word was prayers because people were turning to
ways to help themselves deal with this isolation
and this difficult period. But as for believers,
we already have 5 daily prayers
that is supposed to help us to
really,
see things from a different perspective. And going
back to Ramadan, Ramadan is such an opportunity
for us to really nourish our spiritual soul
because we are giving a break to our
physical, you know, body and connecting to our
spiritual body. So that's why it gives us
a lot of strength because we are boosting
that side of our being, isn't it? But
even looking at, like, what you said about
the prayers, Allah gives us the prayers. But
again, going back to your
understanding about the deepness, when you want the
the prayer where you really do ask Allah.
Yeah.
You've got to get out of your bed.
Yeah. SubhanAllah
and you have to make wudu and pray
your tahajid. And that's when Allah is at
his, you know, lowest, SubhanAllah, and that you
are just connected because there's no distractions. Yeah.
Children running around and blah blah blah. You
know, it's just you and him. Mhmm. SubhanAllah.
So that's your seclusion. Yes. And again, we
can relate that to that. Oh, I like
that. Yeah. So if we wanna get a
piece of that seclusion, In sha Allah that
Mariam experienced,
then maybe tahajid is something that we should
be trying In sha Allah.
And I love that because I think about
the quality of our prayers
when we are at rock bottom. Yes. No
comparison. You're
you're literally beseeching
because you know that You're in need. You're
in need. No one can help and aid
you Yes. Other than Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
you know. A 100%. It's like when you
get older and you look at your journey
and you look back at the times where
you grew the most. Was it those times
where everything was like okay and everything was
rosy? Or was it at those difficult points
when you know, ah, that's where I was
broken and that's when I was closest to
Allah? I often hear this so much from
cancer patients, and I was actually talking about
this yesterday.
I had a cancer patient who was only
24,
and she was so strong. Masha'Allah.
She had 2 little children, age 2 and
4, and her husband was sat next to
her crying his eyes out. And when she
said, why are you crying?
She said,
for this cancer. Because if it wasn't for
this cancer, you wouldn't be praying and you
wouldn't have stopped smoking. So alhamdulillah
for this cancer. I'm ready to go back
to my lord. She saw the adversity and
she got it. Most of us would be
thinking cure, cure, cure, but she was ready
to go back to her lord, and that
was at 24.
Now that's Iman and that's Tawakkil. With that,
sisters, I think we need to turn it
over to
our viewers.
Sisters, what did you think of that? What
were your takeaways from what have been your
takeaways from the show so far and from
what my lovely sisters have shared here today?
You know you need to share it on
socials,
tagging Iman Channel and Naeema b Robert in
all your comments. We want to see what
you are taking from this. And Now we're
going to go over
for my final thoughts that I'm going to
leave you with for this episode today, InshaAllah.
So often,
we start out with the best of intentions.
We commit to things, appointments, relationships, even faith,
with the intention of following through,
of sticking with it, and seeing it through
to the end.
And we are usually sincere in those initial
intentions.
We believe we'll make it through.
But so often,
life gets in the way. We get lazy,
we lose focus,
we get distracted.
And we find that we are simply not
as committed as we once were.
This is the same for the affairs of
the dunya and the affairs of the akhirah.
How many times have you decided to get
serious with your hif? Set yourself daily targets,
and within a few days, weeks, or if
you are really dedicated, months,
find your mushaaf gathering dust once more.
How many times have you started a great
new diet and after a few weeks found
yourself succumbing to the temptations of the bakery
aisle?
This is a part of the human condition.
We are fickle beings, we crave ease and
are repelled by the burden of responsibility.
But that too is the beautiful thing about
our Islamic moral code, and the standard that
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has set for us.
It encourages us to choose
duty over desire.
What we must do,
over what we want to do.
This has always been the hallmark of a
noble character,
the ability to put the needs of others
before our own selfish desires.
Our deen teaches us to have istakarma,
steadfastness.
We are told to hold tight to worship,
to strive for consistency
in the small things and in the big
things.
May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la make us of
those who revisit our intentions
and commit to our purpose,
who recommit to our Deen and renew our
commitment to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la, Lord
of all the worlds. I'll see you in
the next episode, Insha
Allah.