Nahela Morales – New Muslims Need Trained Mentors
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Jim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem Salam alaykum warahmatullahi
wabarakatuhu welcome back to another episode here in about
Islam, we're gonna give it a few seconds just to make sure that
people log on inshallah and I get to also share some of this so
let's just give it a couple seconds inshallah
and it also gives me an opportunity to share out
inshallah. So
once again, we're here and
another very important topic for our community, especially the new
Muslims. So as I continue to share out, please also share out so
others can benefit with new law, very important topics for our new
brothers and sisters who are entering the faith. And perhaps
they need to hear this, what we're going to be talking about today.
Again, I pray that everybody benefits on this but the topic is
geared for new converts new Muslims, first generation Muslims
brothers and sisters who are currently enter have entered or
and are looking to enter the faith.
So let's, let's get started in sha Allah.
Let me just share this out to my page.
I mean, one second.
Okay, so
my apologies.
All right, so today, we're gonna be talking about a very another
very important topic that we often don't think about, specifically
within our community.
When our brothers and sisters are entering the faith, we we, we are
there to greet them and welcome them after they take their
Shahada. And what all of that is very important, it's very crucial
to a new converts, you know, experience. Even more important is
what comes after, right? And one of the reasons why we started
embrace a nonprofit organization that takes care of convert is
because of this reason.
We think that a, you know, somebody takes shahada, and they
will be learning the faith on their own. While that's not
necessarily true, it has happened in some cases, because obviously
they they may be living in rural areas, or perhaps don't have the
resources to, to make this journey a bit easier. So today, we're
going to be talking about the importance of mentorship after
embracing Islam and the role that we as a community play
in a new shadows life, right. So this is not a do it yourself kind
of thing we have to work in.
In community, we have to make sure that we are taking care of each
other.
You know, in the time of the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam,
when somebody used to enter the faith of Islam, there was there
was always somebody assigned to this individual to make sure that
they were taking care of them from their financial
finances to you know, learning how to pray, and learning about the
deen. And so this is why it's so important for us to actually make
sure that we grab each other by the hand in order to make this
transition easy. Now, I've mentioned this in the past, but
not every shahada story is the same. And so
one of the things that I've noticed throughout the years is
that we are put in a basket and as soon as you hear the word revert
or convert or new Muslim, you think that perhaps, you know, they
all come from the same walks of life and that's not necessarily
true. We have some converts reverts that have full support
from their families, right that they are okay with their with
their new decision, new way of life. But then we have individuals
who actually have it really hard. And I can sit here hours and share
some of those stories with you. And I might share a couple just to
see the difference between you know, somebody being welcome not
on
We have a community but in their homes and somebody that is not a
welcome at all whatsoever. And so what does that look like? And how
can we help as a community? Where do we even start? Right? So
that's, that's the most important thing. And I'm talking now to the
Convert right to the river to the shahada, first and foremost. So
where do you start, you take your shahada nowadays, we live in the
era of internet, I've heard individuals taking their shahada
over the internet on the phone, I myself gave a sister in Mexico
City, her shahada over WhatsApp, right over a phone conversation.
So there's many, many ways of entering the faith nowadays with
technology and having the lab but what happens after that, what
happens
when you are when the shahada the emotions, everything is, has
similar down. So one of the first things that I want to personally
mentioned today is where do we start, the first thing we need to
initiate is or look for, is an Islamic center or mosque, if you
did not convert, there, if you converted, you know, through the
internet, or on a phone call, or perhaps you were at a data table,
or an event or with a friend or at the university, so many different
places, right, where these, the this can take place. So I would
definitely say to start by looking for resources. And one of the most
important places to to look for is for an Islamic center and a
mosque.
You know, Hamdulillah, we are definitely trying to,
to have classes within and workshops. And it is our
responsibility as Muslims to go out and seek knowledge. And so
that is prescribed on each and every one of us whether we are a
convert, or we were born into this space.
So it is important for us to make sure that we are connected to a
place I normally call the masjid that I'm affiliated with my second
home. Why is that? Well, not only do I go there and pray, you know,
for Joomla and perhaps other salons, you know, I normally enjoy
praying Fudger at the mosque. And I try not to miss Juma but also to
connect with other individuals that perhaps are going through
similar situations as you or to be connected with other families. If
you have children, there's normally activities at the mosque
that will help you throughout your journey, right. So you're not
doing this alone. And this is this is the title of it right that this
is not a do it yourself.
It's not practical, it can get very, very lonely. And so it's
important to establish that connection and that foundation
early on. So if you don't have a center, right, if you live, which
I know, there's situations such as such as that, when I went to
Bogota, Colombia, I'm sorry, yeah. But without Colombia, I met
I met one of the scholars who basically said that one of his,
one of the members will travel a total of five hours to get to the
masjid for Juma.
And so that's I don't know how many of us would travel that far.
But obviously, when you come into faith, and you want to connect
somehow, some way you Where there's a will, there's a way and
so you make it happen. So there are individuals that will go
out of their way to make sure that they make that connection. And
well now, like I mentioned early now we have you know, this, the
intranet Alhamdulillah. And so there can be a community that you
can find virtually, I know at embrace we have a lot of live
classes, workshops, Holocaust discussions, so there are
different avenues. If you don't have a center, you can still build
on a virtual community per se. Now, when we're looking for a
mentor, it's important for us to Inshallah, make sure that
we look for someone of our same gender, right? So it's important
for us to if you're a sister that you look for a sister, you know,
that you are compatible with. And so that's that's very important
for us, too.
I understand early on. And while we have, I have heard, and also
when I came into Islam, there was a brother who sent me books. And
even though he was, you know, a male, he did send me the books and
then referred me to a sister to teach me. So that can also happen,
right. So just make sure that these boundaries are not crossed.
And that we understand what has been prescribed for us is from our
Creator. And so we have to make sure that we respect those
boundaries. And so it's important for us to find someone
of the same gender, right, so if, let's say, I need a brother, and,
you know, we initiate conversation, I am not going to
mentor him, but I am going to look for someone to mentor him.
Likewise, for a sister, if you know a brother gives you a Koran.
Hopefully, if he's married, his wife can possibly mentor you, or
what have you. So it's important, this is a very important
piece to start with, right.
And while that we will have certain interactions with the
opposite gender, again, we have to make sure that we don't cross any
boundaries, and that we are very respectful towards one another.
As,
as Allah subhana, Allah has ordained it, right? As you're
looking for a mentor, obviously, or or you are assigned a mentor,
you want to make sure that there is some type of compatibility,
right. So now I'm talking to the mentor, we have to make sure that
on both sides, but the mentor has to be obviously patient. And we
are all eager to help and eager to learn. So on both sides equally,
we need to be patient with each other. And make sure that as we
are teaching and learning that if questions come up that we make
sure we ask them, right. So one of the things that personally, I
loved about Islam was that the fact that I was able to ask
anything and everything I wanted. And I remember growing up in the
Catholic Church, you know, when I had questions, I was oftentimes
quiet.
And I was told that I just had to believe and so that is not the
case. In Islam, we have every right to ask any question. No
question is dumb. And if you have a question, I'm sure there is an
answer for everything. So we just have to make sure that if that
individual that is mentoring, you doesn't have the answer that
they're able to say, I don't know that answer to that question. But
I'll get back to you.
And so as a mentor, you have to be very mindful of that. And for the
convert, also be very patient if we don't have all the answers when
we're mentoring right?
One of the important factors of this whole mentorship is obviously
to establish that brotherhood sisterhood bond, right? There's a
lot of benefit in it. As you are growing into your new, you know,
role and way of life, you are obviously building on this family,
as the Ummah as one nation, we are called brothers and sisters for a
reason, right? And we do become
we do
gravitate to those habits of our brothers and sisters. So we do
have to be very cautious as well. Not only when you are mentoring,
but when you are being mentor if there are things that you don't
like, you need to speak up and say, You know what, I did not
appreciate the way you spoke to me a lot of times, so one thing that
I did see early on when somebody when I was assigned a mentor was
that, obviously we come from different sides of the world. And
so sometimes culture plays a big role. And so we have to be able to
differentiate between Islam and culture and if something doesn't
seem right, or sound right then question it's okay to ask your
mentor. There's, there's no,
there's absolutely no, no bad
reason why you shouldn't, you should ask.
The other thing, you know, when we are looking for this mentor,
we're looking for someone that understands us
and is able to
is able to bring resources and what I mean by that is obviously
if I don't have a Koran, I don't know where to look for a Koran, my
mentor inshallah will be able to facilitate this reading material
for me.
And as we are looking for this mentor or we are mentoring as
well, we have to remember
to to be aware of the different organizations out there that
provide risk
Horses. And so when, when you are mentoring someone, make sure that
you are bringing, you know, easy to read material. I remember one
of the most important things that I always brought on and this is
this is a small booklet, it's very small booklet, but it's very easy
to comprehend. It's what is Islam and who are Muslims, right? So
it's very, very thin. But there's a lot of good information here
anywhere from who is Isa alayhi, Salam Jesus and the Koran and what
have you. So easy material, Inshallah, to make sure that
you're the person that you are mentoring does not get
overwhelmed. I remember when I came into the faith, I received a
huge box of books, and it was very overwhelming.
So just make sure to take it little by little Inshallah, when
you are providing these resources.
The other thing that you know, as we're looking, what should you
look for in a mentor?
Somebody that's compatible, somebody with excellent character,
is important to also look in a mentor, right? So, obviously, we
have to make sure that we are listening to this mentor. But the
mentor also knowing that whatever you are teaching this new convert,
these are habits that perhaps they're going to carry on, right,
I'll give you one example. So my mentor, when I came into the
faith, told me, no matter what, no matter where you're at, no matter
what's going on in your life, don't ever, ever, ever miss Salah
prayer. So when a mentor tells you this early on, and explains to you
why, right, and I remember she said, because this is the very
first thing Allah subhanaw taala is going to ask you about on the
day of judgment, and it's so important to maintain that
connection. So don't ever miss your salon. To this day, we're
talking about over 15 years later, this has stuck in my brain, right
how important salon is. And no matter where I am, what I'm doing,
I had to pause and this is my time for my Creator and I, for me to
let go of all the worldly, any, any anxiety, any worries I may
have, I take it all to the rug. So that's why it's so important when
we are mentoring or we're looking for a mentor, that we are looking
for characteristics, good characteristics that will carry us
on, and will help us throughout this journey.
So the other thing that it's important for us to remember is so
number one I said is connect ourselves to a masjid or Islamic
center. Make sure that once you're there, you take full advantage of
you know, the different resources that are happening, whether it's
workshops, whether it's Islam, one on one,
you know, it, it really, it really is our responsibility to learn.
And you know, at this, at this given time, she thought will come
at us and we'll have zillions of excuses why we can attend and what
have you and then we fall short. And then we just kind of get lazy
and that's one of the attributes of shaytaan being lazy. So we have
to be careful and make sure that we are
obviously utilizing our time correctly that we are seeking out
for the that connection that sisterly you know, sisterhood and
brotherhood connection.
And so why can't you do you know why? Why can't you go on this
journey by yourself because
we we are creatures that love human interaction, right? And so
it's important for us to align those individuals that will take
us to the next level. And that's why finding a mentor that will
help us get there is so important and imperative. And so the other
thing is that understand that not everybody will connect
immediately, per se like for example, if the first mentor that
you're assigned, there's not a lot of compatibility or simply you
just don't click, you can ask for someone else. It's important for
you to voice voice that out out to whether it's the Islamic Central
or the masjid for you to say, You know what, this is not working
out. Can I be assigned to someone else? And it's okay
To, you know, choose a different mentor, inshallah.
And why, why is why is that? Well, simply because you want to make
sure that you make that connection, not only physical, but
a physical connection, but also spiritual connection that, you
know that that person draws you closer to Allah. And so that's why
it's so important to look for that person that will make an impact in
your life, with those reminders with that invitation to come to
dinner, or to make sure that makes makes you feel at home, right, so
we can't do it alone. And that's, that's essentially what I'm here
to tell you today that we definitely cannot
we cannot do this alone. We need mentors as new Muslims, right.
And so as as, as community, we need to make sure that we're also
taking care of this important
portion within our communities.
Because new Muslims need train mentors. So one of our one of one
of design program that we have at embrace, it's called convert
sensitivity training. And it's basically to train anyone that's
going to be dealing with reverts and converts. It's so important
because as I initially started saying, we don't all come from the
same walks of life or the same background. We don't all have the
same education,
you know, level or what have you. And so this is why it's important
for us to get trained.
Inshallah
and so in this training, we go, we go on a journey, we go on a
journey from the day that the individual takes shahada, you
know, how to welcome them without overwhelming them, right. So, as
mentors, we can expect someone to learn from A to Z and X amount of
time because again, sometimes the individual may have a learning
problems or what have you, or learns at a different pace than
you. And that's okay. The most important thing I would say, if
you take anything is to be consistent, right? When you if you
plan to be a mentor, it's important to be consistent,
consistent means that if you
have planned to meet once a week not to cancel on this new Muslim,
right, it's important to make sure that you are consistent that if
you say Friday afternoon, we're gonna meet at five o'clock, that
you, you you save that time you cross off that time specifically
for this because again, it's an Amana, right. And Allah subhana,
Allah gives us these opportunity, but also can remove us from these
opportunity. And so one of the most beautiful deeds that that you
know, and I'm paraphrasing, but one of the most beautiful
headaches that come to my mind is that anything good that you teach,
or this individual, you will, you will get a portion right? Excuse
me. So imagine you teach your shahada, this, this new Muslim, Al
Fatiha, and for the rest of their lives, they will be praying and
they will reciting al Fatiha. And you will be getting a portion of
that because you took the time. And you invested in this new
shahada and taught that Al Fatiha right. So it's a win win situation
on both ends. And obviously, it's to cultivate that sense of
community. It's to cultivate that sisterhood and brotherhood and so
it's so important. And in this Congress sensitivity training, we
talk about obviously the home we talk about, you know, work what
does that look like for the new shahada and then finally, the
communal aspect of it right, what to expect and what not to expect
for for for both of the, the mentor and the Shahada. And so
I would highly encourage everyone to to, to learn to learn a little
bit more but also to reach out right and
be consistent when you are reaching out. Don't wait only for
eat or don't wait only for Ramadan. You know, open the doors
to your home but more importantly open the doors to your heart
right. We are
all brothers and sisters in the faith. And obviously we all want
good for one another. And so one of the most important things is
for us to make sure that we get involved when it comes to convert
care to new Muslims who are in need of these mentors.
And last but not least, I would say, you know, don't see it as a
burden, if you are entering the mentor, being a mentor, right?
Don't Don't, don't say, Oh, why just, I'm just going to do it, but
then become over overwhelm. If your time has come like where you
give yourself, Oh, I'm going to mentor someone six months, then
then make sure that you say that upfront, you know, for the next
six months, and then we will revisit and see where you're at
and how much you have learned. That way you don't you don't leave
someone cold turkey, because it's very detrimental for a new Muslim,
to be so excited that they built, they're building this relationship
and all sudden, this mentor disappears one day. So make sure
to go in with the best intention to help these new Muslims. You
know, set up a timeframe if if you are short on time, be very
consistent, have the correct resources, you need to educate
yourself as a mentor. To know you know, where you can get Koran, or
wherever your new shahada can go for new classes, what websites are
there available, one of the best resources and I tell you this,
with all due honesty is here about Islam, if you go to the website,
and you type in any, any topic, there will be an article on it.
And So educate yourself as much as you can don't treat everyone, you
know, one size fits all, no, we all come from different walks of
life, we are all different, we are looking for, you know, to be
respected, and we want to be integrated into the community. So
for both, you know, the mentor and the new Muslim, you know, be
patient with one another, it's very important to exercise
patience.
One is possibly learning how to be a mentor or trying their best are
coming with the best intention. So remember that, you know, when we
do volunteer, or are giving our time for the sake of Allah is is
something that we need to be very mindful of as well.
And so I really hope that help for both for new Muslims. And also for
mentors. There's so much more that I could say on this. And perhaps
one day I'll do the sensitivity training by maybe by parts I can
do one part two part and then three part because I think that's
also very important.
Inshallah, but for now, I just, I just want to thank everyone out
there who is doing mentoring with new Muslims who do go out of their
ways to give salons to the new convert, just this past Juma this
Friday, I arrived to the masjid. And the sister to my right had a
little book so I realized she was a convert. And I made sure that I
greeted her I gave her my card. I gave her a pamphlet I said, you
know, I'm here for you and obviously greeted her with a smile
gave her salons gave her her right. And so these are, these are
my new things that we don't think about but that go a long way. And
so she said, Oh, you're the only one that has greeted me. And so
while that is very painful, because as Muslims to one another,
we should be very kind, very generous. And so our smile is
sadaqa so we should be smiling at the masjid and greeting each other
and being kind to each other and looking at our surroundings who is
at the masjid who is not. I remember when I just moved here to
Dallas, Texas, there was one sister that Subhanallah I will
never forget.
That called me the first Friday that I didn't show up and I
happened to be very sick that Friday and she she texts me and
then she called me and she said Are you okay? I noticed that you
didn't come to Juma. I always tell this story because that story
impacted me even though I've been Muslim for a long time. It's
individuals like that that bring us hope and revive you know, this
brotherhood and sisterhood and love that we should have for one
another. So as mentors Please be kind to an end patient. And as do
Muslims also be patient with yourselves. Be very consistent.
Don't
Don't get frustrated. It's it's a journey. It's a lot of time
journey. So, I pray that this is of benefit to you all. And we
shall see you at the next
at the next session. You all have a wonderful week. Salam alaykum
Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh