Nadim Bashir – Want To Be Happy – Let Go Of 5 Things
AI: Summary ©
The importance of finding a consensus on one's happiness is highlighted, as it is achieved through personal challenges and socializing. Anything achieved in life is a temporary happiness, and anything from material and socialization is temporary. The speaker emphasizes the need to learn how to let go of control and find happiness in a way that is not distracting or annoying. The importance of impressing others and letting go of past regret is also emphasized, and individuals should let go of their past, current, and future negative behavior to find happiness and satisfaction in their life.
AI: Summary ©
Long like
I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that just
as he has gathered us here today on
this day of
Jum'ah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gather us
along with our families,
in jot for those of Allah, in the
companionship of Rasulullah he salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
and his Sahaba
without any accountability.
As we have learned from these scholars of
the past, and our predecessors,
and from
the that after Ramadan, they will continuously ask
Allah
for acceptance.
So keeping that in mind, we ask Allah
that
may he accept our Ramadan.
May Allah accept our
our siyam. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept
all the duas that we made in Ramadan.
And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us
many more Ramavans.
Brothers and sisters,
if there's one question
that many of us have been asked,
And no matter what culture you belong to,
no matter what language we speak,
and no matter what the color of our
skin is.
If you were to ask everyone, what is
one thing you want in life?
Everyone will say They will have different things
to say, but there was one There will
be one answer
that you will find a consensus
on, and that is that everyone
wants to be happy in life.
And whatever we do in life,
is It is there. We do everything in
our life to find that happiness in our
life.
To find that contentment in life.
We want a life
filled with
less challenges.
No matter how many challenges there are, and
how many we are going through, we want
a life free of challenges.
We wanna go through a life where even
if we have to go through challenges, minimal
challenges.
We wanna go through a life where we
don't have too many worries,
too many episodes of anxiety, and depression, and
so forth.
And we have also
thought about the idea,
and the Society has taught us
that any kind of difficulties in our life,
any kind of hiccup in life,
is a sign
that there is no happiness in your life.
Brothers and sisters,
our ultimate goal of life is to please
Allah
Our ultimate goal of life
is to worship Allah
And in worshiping Allah
Allah will give us a situation, Allah will
grant us
a situation and circumstances,
that no matter what the challenges are, we
will be able to go through them.
There is no such thing called a life
that is challenge free.
There is no such thing called a life
where there is no episodes of anxiety or
depression.
No matter the person who has nothing
versus the person who has everything in this
dunya, the most richest man right now on
the face of this earth.
If you tell me that they go through
no challenges,
and they don't ever experience anxiety or depression,
or challenging situations in their life,
then there's one thing I have to tell
you, and that is that you are absolutely
delusional.
Every person in this dunya will have to
go through challenges.
But when we talk about happiness,
first of all, there's a lot of debates,
scientifically speaking,
that what brings happiness to a person.
For a Muslim, what we learned from the
Prophet
is that when a person has good things
in their life,
a person is able to pray salah, that
should make you happy. Why?
Because Allah has given us the ability,
and Allah has given us the tawfiq.
And a person who is consistent with their
prayers, that is a sign that Allah is
pleased with them.
Because a
person that Allah is displeased with,
Allah
keeps them away from salat.
Allah keeps them away from the Quran.
Allah keeps them away from qiyam.
So when we engage in ibadah, it's a
sign that Allah is pleased with us.
But many other scientist have also discovered, and
they began debating
that what brings happiness to a person.
Some say that
experiences of life such as entertainment,
and this
endless amount of freedom,
and constant socializing and being around people,
is what brings happiness to people. And I'll
tell you, I have come across many people
who have a very very social life,
and they're not happy in life.
That I have had people who come to
me and say, that I don't ever get
time to myself. Why?
Because I'm constantly being invited from one dawat
to another dawat to another dawat. And in
order to please everyone, I go to everyone's
place. I go to And I accept everyone's
invitation,
but what that has done in my life
is, that it has caused depression in my
life.
So this idea
that endless amount of freedom,
or entertainment,
or socializing,
endless amount of socializing brings happiness,
wallahi is false.
There's other people who say that materialism,
life achievements will bring you happiness.
But this is also false. Why? Because anything
that you achieve in life,
and any materialism that you acquire, or we
acquire in life,
there will be some temporary happiness.
But then after that, that happiness
wears off.
So the question is that where does happiness
lie?
Where does happiness lies in? How can we
find happiness
in our life?
And the thing that most scholars they say
is, that a person who has spirituality
in their life,
mean that they have
in their life. Their hearts
are attached to Allah, and they're constantly seeking
the love of Allah
They are the ones who have a longer
lifespan.
They have purpose of life, and you'll find
these people that no matter if they have
challenges in their life, they're you're still gonna
find them happy.
And there is no better example than Rasulullah
A man, if you study his life from
beginning to end, challenges after challenges.
But what would he say when someone asked
him about his long hours of to Allah
He would say,
Should I not be a grateful slave to
Allah
This is a man that no other person
in human history has gone through the amount
of challenges
as compared to anyone else. He has gone
through the most amount of challenges,
yet you see his attitude.
It's not that as if Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam's
challenges,
and his
issues that did exist in his society were
gone. No. They did exist.
He had issues in his own brethren. He
had issues within the Quraysh. He had issues
with the Jewish community, and the place where
he lived.
But he always saw
the other side, and he always make sure
that he was thankful to Allah
So today, in this brief khutbah, I wanna
share with you 5 things.
5 things inshallah you keep in mind, that
if we want to find happiness in our
life, there's 5 things we have to let
go of.
Five things that we have to ignore or
perhaps let go of, that you and I,
we are holding on to so much, and
this is why we're not finding happiness in
our life.
The very first thing
is that we have to learn how to
let go
of control in our life.
See, whatever we do in our life, we
make sure our kids go to a school
that is convenient for us. We make sure
that we work, and we get to work
in a in a way that is convenient
for us. The places where we live, where
we do things in our life, how we
do things in our life, everything is based
on convenience.
But at the same time, there are many
situations,
get And guess what? You have a flat
tire on the way going there. And you
can get out and be so upset,
and say, Why did Allah make this happen
to me? Why did
Allah bring a situation like this upon me?
And you're going in all these clean clothes,
and now you have to get out, and
you have to get, you know, your hands
dirty and so forth. It is an unpleasant
situation.
Or let's just say you've gone for a
vacation with your family, and summer this happens
often, And then someone gets sick during that
vacation, and you're thinking to yourself that here,
we're out here to have a good time
with my family, and one of my children,
or my spouse has become sick. There are
things in our lives that don't go our
way, brother and sisters.
But this is where
we have to learn how to let go.
This is where we have to learn how
to say that I put my in Allah
I have to learn how to say that
this is part of Allah's plan. This is
the of Allah
Whether I want it or not, that's not
the
question. But the question is that am I
satisfied with the of Allah
How many times do we see in our
own families, there's a sudden death in our
family. We never expected it, but that is
a time when we say, I put my
trust in the qadr of Allah
Allah
instructed Musa
mother to put Musa in the basket. Did
she want to do that? No. But she
put her in Allah
Allah
separated Yaqub alaihis salam and his son Yusuf
alaihis salam for an extended period of time.
Did he lose his trust in Allah? No.
He put his trust in the qadr of
Allah
When Mayim
was told that she would deliver, and she
would have a child
in a in a way that is not
normal, where there is no man involved.
And the first thing that comes to her
mind is, that what are the people gonna
say about me? And they will accuse accuse
me of immorality.
And what happened is that in all three
situations,
because they put their trust in Allah, and
because they put their trust in the Qadr
of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala,
Allah changed all of their situations.
In the case of Musa
Allah returned Musa back to the mother. Not
only was she feeding her own child, which
is a mother's responsibility,
but she was receiving a stipend for doing
something of that type. In the case of
Yaqub and Yusuf
Yusuf
Yusuf was returned to Yaqub
but now as an as a grown man,
and with so much izah and dignity.
And not only that, but in the case
of Mayim alaihis salam, not only Allah Subhanahu
wa ta'ala exonerated her from all ill, and
and anything, thing, any blame, or any accusations.
But Allah
gave her
a dignity, and an honor, and a position
that he did not give to any other
woman in the history of mankind.
When he says,
This is Allah's way of showing these 3
prophets, and all the other prophets, that when
they went through challenges in life, but they
put their trust in Allah's Qadr, Allah
made the situation better for them. Brothers and
sisters, we have a lot of plans.
We have a 5 year plan, we have
a 10 year plan. But when things don't
go our way,
in in that situation, instead of being becoming
displeased,
rather we should say that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala knows something
that I'm not aware of. Who knows if
I were to hold on to this job,
I might have been deprived from another better
position.
Who knows that this person got sick, but
because of this I came closer to deen?
Who knows that this situation that I may
have gone through, I have seen people in
my life
who have gone through car accidents,
motorcycle accidents.
They did not die. Kept
them alive.
But this turn this situation
was a catalyst for them to becoming closer
to Allah
Before this, they were not praying, they were
not doing anything. But that one difficult situation
caused them to come close to Allah
Brothers and sisters,
anything that happens in our life, always turn
to Allah, and always be content with the
qadr of Allah
So the very first thing is, letting go
of having full control over our life.
Number 2 is,
the how we can find happiness is letting
go
of impressing
others.
Today, we are living in a time
that we are constantly worried about other people's
opinions about us.
We will go on social media and post
so many things about my vacation,
about where I went, and where he went,
or where she went, and so forth. And
after every 5 minutes, we'll go back to
social media to check how many people have
liked that message. How many people have commented
about that message. How many people have shared
that message.
Why? Because we are so obsessed.
We are so obsessed
with what other people think of us.
And this is a reality of a person
who has the love of this dunya in
their heart. Allah says,
This constant need
of impressing others, and showing others where I
went, and what I did, and what I'm
eating. Brothers and sisters, if we are constantly
obsessed about
impressing others,
What about impressing Allah
That should be our goal of life.
Because the reality is that the more you
try to impress someone,
and the more you try to reach someone
else's expectations,
and they don't give you the attention of
the day, it's gonna make you do more
and more.
This is the reality of the human being,
that it will make you do more and
more, and you will go out of your
own comfort zone to please someone else, and
to impress someone else.
And the reality is, brother and sisters, is
that today you might impress one person, and
you displease others. And that is why there
is absolutely no way you can please everyone.
If there is one that you try to
always please, if there's one that we all
try to please, it is Allah
And this is why Allah gives a very
beautiful example.
A very beautiful example in Surah Zumr, Allah
says,
Allah
says, because
slavery existed a long time ago, of course.
And
when you had one person who was serving
multiple masters, Allah is saying, what makes more
sense
that a that a person who has to
serve multiple masters?
Does that make more sense? Or a person
who has to serve only 1 master,
does that make sense?
It makes more sense that you have to
please only 1 master, Because we cannot please
everyone. Today you try to please one aspect
of society, you'll make other aspects of society
upset with you. So there if Therefore,
there's one goal of our life, and that
is that we don't try to impress people,
we don't try to impress others. If there's
one that we have to impress, it is
Allah
And that is why Allah
says, when the prophet says,
You cannot
There is no way that you
you are obedient
to the of Allah
while you're displeasing Allah
Often, in order to please people, we displease
Allah The
prophet says, there is no such thing of
that type.
Number 3.
We have to learn how to let go
of our past.
There are so many times people come and
they say, I regret something like this happened
in the past. I regret I did not
invest here. I regret something happened to my
child. I regret I did not put my
child in this particular school. I regret not
taking that job. I regret, I regret, I
regret.
And this is where we have to understand
that there's a concept in the Quran, and
you will know this when I say this,
We're either worried about the future,
or we're worried about or we have regret
over the past. And Allah
is telling us, the only way you can
secure your future,
and the only way we can come to
peace with our past, the only way we
can come to peace with our past is
Once again, we put our iman and our
faith in the padr of Allah
Why does such and such happen in the
past? It was beyond my control. It was
in the control of Allah
No matter you cry a river over it,
it will not change the past.
As far as the future is concerned,
the people who are closer to Allah
Allah will secure their future. How so? Because
Allah
says in the Quran,
The of Allah.
The people who are close to Allah
There is no fear about the future,
and there is no regret about the past.
And who are these people? Allah says,
Those who have in their life, those who
have faith in their life, they are the
ones who are going to receive
no fear about the future, and no regret
about the past. And Allah
then says about these kind of people,
There is glad tidings for these people in
this dunya, and glad tidings for them in
the So brothers and sisters, yes there are
a lot of times we are worried about
the future. I've met a lot of parents
who are worried about their kids, But we
do what we have to do on our
part, and we leave the rest in the
hands of Allah
Let us remind ourselves the story of Musa
and Khadr. When they went and they erected
the wall,
that the people of the city had refused
to show any hospitality to these two people.
But Khadr went out of his way to
ensure that the wall is fixed. Why? Because
he says that this Underneath this wall, there
is treasure
that is secured for 2 orphan kids,
and their father was righteous. When parents are
righteous, then
Allah will
take care of their kids. But this is
where we have to put our trust in
Allah, and we have to apply in our
life. That is number 3. Number 4,
we have to always
We have to let go of being ungrateful
to Allah
We have to let go
of focusing on what other people have,
and not and not focusing on what we
have. We are so concerned about
other people's happiness.
This person, they're going to do this, and
they'll become so rich. And this family is
going for a vacation. And this family is
doing such and such, and
their kid became number 1, or their kid
got a scholarship, and so forth. Brothers and
sisters,
whatever Allah has given us, let's be thankful
over that. Allah says,
If you are thankful to Allah, Allah will
increase in our blessings. So that is why
instead
of worrying about others, let's focus on what
we have. Wallahi, there are people who come
to me and they say, Yeah, imam, I
don't have this, I don't have that. I'm
so worried about the future, I'm so worried
about this and that. And I have to
just sometimes just say one thing, look at
the people of Gaza.
Their homes are bombed and destroyed.
Where are they gonna go and live? They
don't have food to eat to eat. They
don't have clean water to drink and so
forth. And yet here, living in America, our
fridges are stacked from top to bottom. We
have external freezers in our garages, or in
our homes that are stacked from the top
to bottom. Our kids have comfortable beds to
sleep on. Even if they're sleeping on the
floor, they're not worried about their life. They're
not worried about a bomb dropping
on their house overnight.
Brothers and sisters,
we are so blessed in so many different
ways, yet we are so focused on what
we don't have.
Ramadan just went by.
What was one of the objectives of Ramadan?
Is that we apply gratitude in our life.
Allah is telling us, either you are amongst
those who are grateful to Allah, or you
are amongst those who are ungrateful to Allah.
And a person who's ungrateful to Allah
even the little that Allah has given them,
Allah will take away that.
So brothers and sisters,
the number 4 The 4th thing, in order
for us to be happy is we have
to let go of focusing on what other
people have. If someone has gone for a
vacation we see on social media, alhamdulillah for
them. Make du'a for them, and insha'Allah, you
will get the same thing too. But do
not make du'a against others. Do not be
jealous of others. And if there are things
if there are
things that we are doing that is triggering
that ungrateful
behavior in our life, then we learn how
to let it go. If I know that
going on social media, and seeing other people's
happiness
is making me ungrateful to Allah, then get
off social media. If I have friends that
every time I sit around them, all they're
talking about is where I went, and what
I did, and so forth, and that is
making me ungrateful,
then sever your relationship with those kind of
friends, and don't be around those friends. But
we have to be around people who remind
us of Allah
So that is number 4. And the last
thing, in order for us to find happiness,
the 5th thing that we must let go
of is
criticizing.
Constantly
criticizing
other people.
There are people, wallahi.
They're All their job is that they just
criticize,
and they find faults and flaws in others.
And other people, and other families, and so
forth. And Allah
says, You're constantly worried about others, but you
forget about yourself. And this is why we
find even from
Abu Abu Umar says,
There were people in Madinah who had faults,
but they covered their sins, and did not
speak about the faults of others. So Allah
covered up their sins, and
they died as if they were without sin.
Mean that And then And then ibn Ummah,
he continues, he says, And there were those
who had faults,
but they bruise themselves with the faults of
others. So Allah
exposed their sins and their faults before entire
mankind. So it mean that if we are
constantly worried about other people's faults and flaws,
and we expose other people,
first of all is, we will not find
happiness in our life by doing this. Because
often when people criticize others, they're trying to
find a way to show others that they
are better than them. In their psychology, they're
trying to create a situation
that I am better than them. The only
way I can show and make myself feel
better
compared to them is when I put them
down.
This is how we make ourselves feel better
nowadays, by putting other people down.
Subhanallah. And Allah is telling us that this
is not how you'll find happiness. When you
put other people down, Allah will put us
down. This is the reality of our life.
And if we try to find faults within
others, and we expose other people's faults and
flaws, then Allah will expose our faults and
our flaws within others. And what will happen
if other people find out about our flaws,
about our flaws and faults? Will we find
happiness? No, we will not find
happiness. So these are 5 things that we
must do, we must let go of, if
we want to find any kind of satisfaction
and happiness in our life. I ask
to make us from amongst those who are
the successful in this duniya and the akhirah.
May Allah
take us from this duniya when he is
most pleased with us. May Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala make our last Amal, our best Amal.
Ameerabaalalameen.
Just to quickly recap, so we keep these
5 things in mind. If we wanna find
happiness, let go of 5 things. Number 1
is, letting go of having full control over
your life. Number 2 is letting go of
constantly trying to impress other people.
Number 3 is trying to let go of
the past,
and not worry about not and not be
overly consumed about the future.
Number 4 is always
letting go of what other people have,
and and and not focusing on what we
have. And number 5 is letting go of
criticizing others. These are 5 things, of course
there are many other things I can share,
but because of time I just want to
share these 5 things inshallah. We let go
of these 5 things, we'll find some kind
of happiness and satisfaction in our life. I
ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bring ease
in our life.
Allah
Straighten lines, fill in the gaps.
There's plenty of space inside the main hall.
Brothers in the back two rooms, please make
sure,
to come inside.
Sisters,
please make sure rows are straight, gaps are
filled.
Please make sure the rows are complete, sisters.
Brother, Brother, there's still a lot of space
inside the main hall. Please come inside.
Brothers in the lobby area, please make sure
the rows are straight.
Look around you, brothers in lobby area. Please
make sure the rows are straight.
Brothers in the back two rooms, please make
sure the rows are complete.
Often, the rows are incomplete.