Nadim Bashir – Khatira – Mahr & Jehez – Dowry

			So as you know that every Saturday morning we try to take something related to the subject of family
and trying to understand it from an Islamic perspective as you all know that there are a lot of
cultural practices, but as Muslims we always follow what is the Quran and whereas the Sunnah of
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and we tried to go through some of these kinds of issues that
we have in the community. So today Inshallah, what I want to talk about of course, I cannot cover
every single aspect of it because it is a very long and detailed topic and subject and that is the
topic of Mahara something that many times Subhanallah you hear cases you get calls about the what is
		

			what does Islam say about it, whose right is it? How much should they give or not? And not only
that, but there are some other cultural practices that many of us we may come from, and that is
still prevalent within our cultures and inshallah today quickly in this, we've caught it up. I want
to go through some of them. First of all, is what exactly is a Muhammad Muhammad was something that
was established, of course from the Quran when Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed why to Nisa so
Ducati, hinda Nicola, before Islam women did not have the right to possess their own property. So
Islam came and said that no, let's change that. From now on a woman is allowed and she is allowed or
		

			she is subjected to her own property. If she has her own property. No one can take that property
away from her And subhanAllah by the way, you know, this is the Quran where Allah subhanho wa taala.
He talks about two three and four, where a man is allowed to get married to two three or four women.
This is not by the way, a recommendation in the Quran and the only place where the Quran is
mentioned in the Quran and certain Nisa where he says forget Oh, Martha Bella Camilla Nyssa a
Messina was to Lhasa Aruba. This is not a general verse. By the way, this verse is about that long
time ago, when a woman her guardian would die if so let's just say a father would die. And he left
		

			behind a huge estate or real or a lot of money for his daughter. What would happen in some cases is
that the Guardian would take over that girl and Allah times what they will do is that when she will
grow up, they would have to give her her the money, but in some cases, what they would do is that
they would marry that woman so that they can take over her wealth. So as a result, ALLAH SubhanA wa
Taala he says that and he says well after the bundle kabisa Betrieb will attack Hulu and while
		

			you're stuck
		

			with seven homodiegetic If you don't want to side with the villa holidays and suddenly people are
hung in Aloka Alikum nakivo Well, actually, um, why Allahu wa.
		

			Allahu Allah, Tata cubbies a bit for you while I'm while I'm while they come in, who can open Kabira
we're in the fifth tomb, Allah to proceed to listen to this very carefully. We're in the fifth tomb,
Allah takasi To fill Yetta Amma Allah subhanho wa Taala says that if you fear that you will not be
able to do justice when it comes to the money of an orphan girl phunki Who Martha Bella Camila Nisa,
Messina was to let
		

			that go and get married to a second, third and fourth, but don't get married to her so you can take
over her possession so you can take over her wealth. So what Islam basically said was that if a
woman has her wealth, she's entitled to her wealth, and not only that, but then at the time of Nica,
a man should give something to his wife as a gift. Now, this is something called a man. And this is
something that there are different types of Muharram there is one kind of Maha which is Maha Musa.
Before the Nikka takes place. A man has already decided that this is the amount of Maha he will give
to his wife. Then there's one manual method in case the MaHA amount has not been designated prior to
		

			the Nica and then the car took place because according to some automa, there it is allowed for the
new car to take place without the MaHA being stipulated upfront. In that case, you will give the
manual method what is the definition of metal method, whatever is common in the society, whatever is
common in the family, that is what you will give. Then there is a Maha macadam and there is a Maha
Maha Maha macadam is you give it a front or the MaHA Hara is a you give it later on, based on the
discretion of the wife. There are a lot of women if they say that we want the MaHA at the time of
the Nika we want to give you when we want to upfront you have to accept that and honor that and if
		

			they say that you can give it to us later on, then it can be given later on at another time. Now,
the next thing is that how much or how much the Mahadevi they say that based on the the ability of
the husband, it should not be beyond his beyond his capacity, but it should be within his capacity.
First of all those who also Allahu Allah He was some he has mentioned in two different Hadith Hi,
you
		

			only carry a subtle, the best Nikka is that Nikka which is very simple. And by the way Subhanallah
you see how extravagant people can become when it comes to Nikka I mean Subhanallah you hear times
where people are spending I kid you not want to say this, I'm sending here instead of money when I
say this, people are spending close to a million dollars in indica Subhan Allah. And by the way, you
hear these kinds of stories, or you hear half a million and then Subhanallah one year later, two
years later, there's a divorce that takes place in the family. So that is why the Prophet says
someone says hide on Nikka a subtle, the ALMA have explained this in a way that even when it comes
		

			to the Mahara, it should be as simple as you can keep it the prophets Allah was I'm also says hydro
sada Spiro sadati. A subtle that especially when it comes to the Mahara, try to keep it simple. So
when it comes to an overall Nica, try to keep it as simple as you can. When it comes to a Mahara.
Try to keep it as simple as you can. I have conducted marriages where once again, I got there to the
marriage and I found out that the the MaHA amount, by the way, the MaHA Amman was set up in a way
where the husband had to make installment payments in installments. It was $250,000 And subhanAllah.
The lady had a full document written out, and he had to sign it that by this date, I'll give you
		

			this much amount of money in this day, I'll give you this much amount of money and I was Wallahi i i
tried to explain to him and this is not right. But once again she was the one who made the demand
and Subhanallah this man he said yes. So if he said yes, because when there is no there is no limit
when it comes to a Maha if the man says okay, he will give you this much that He has given this
much. But once again we should not be giving this much today Subhanallah in our society in our day
and age 5000 10,000 I see what 15 $20,000 You know is quite common, but at the same time a man needs
to also understand that what is the meaning of a Mahara? I went somewhere to go conducted Nikka one
		

			time the man came very openly he said I'll give her $25,000 So I asked the man what is in your
understanding what is a Mahara? He says just the amount that you put on the document. So that no I
say you have to give it to her. He was I have to give it to her as a yes. You have to give it to
her. So he says, Okay, give me a few minutes. He went back inside, he came back $2,000 inshallah.
		

			Okay, so Subhanallah a lot of times we don't understand these kinds of things. So once again, you
have to give something and when you when you commit to it, then you have to give it to her. The next
thing is that the MaHA is purely her right. No one in the family has a right over it. No one is I
mean, the MaHA is all hers. She no one has a right to even put their hand on it. Let me give you a
story exactly is a true story that happened that there was a husband and wife they got married. The
wife's family was discussing the Mahara before the Nikka took place. And what happened was that they
were not able to come to a conclusion in terms of the mud, and they got married Subhanallah two
		

			weeks after the niqab took place, the girl's family, the bride's family comes forward. And they're
demanding from the groom's family, that this is the Mahara that we need. And they put so much
pressure on the family that they began to threaten the groom's family that we will take our daughter
away and we will go through a divorce if we need to, because we want our money. So what the family
did was, they saw they stipulated their own their own amount of money, they created their own amount
of Mahara. So what I did was that I sat down with the wife herself, and I asked her what was decided
upfront, and she said that there was a very small amount that was discussed and decided upfront, and
		

			now my family is exaggerating that amount. And they're saying that because once again, nothing was
written and documented. So when things are not documented, then that is why we have issues. That's
why the Quran says even when it comes to a Dane for your job, right, the Quran says yeah, you need
to die intimidated. Elijah was a man, fuck taboo right out your doc write out your transaction. So
if there's an agreement, a financial agreement, it must be written down. She said that it was not
written down prior to the kneecap. That's why there's a lot of these speculations and back and
forth. So I told her that it's up to you. It's totally your right. And she said that I don't care
		

			about the matter. I love my husband. And even if he gives it to me later on, it does not matter to
me. And so I told her and I told her that you have a right to your mother, and only you are the one
who will collect that money from the husband and the husband will give it to you and your family
does not have any right to it at all. And subhanAllah while that divorce was on while that marriage
was on the brink of divorce, subhanAllah she understood he understood and she said that basically
she told her family that you cannot interfere in this matter amount it
		

			Is my right and I will collect it from my husband whenever I want. And she basically was 100 state
when she was able to stay in that Nikka and marriage. So ha this young man, he came to me just one
month ago, he said that from that marriage 100 You have a beautiful young boy mashallah Hamdulillah.
So the 100 that marriage was able to survive, because she took matters into her own hand. So once
again, this is something that we see, culturally speaking, that many families, they come in, they
take, they put a huge amount of my heart on behalf of their daughter or their girl in the family.
And then they want to take all of that and then they then they start arguing with these kinds of
		

			things. The next thing is that can the woman forfeit her Mahara? The answer is yes, she can forfeit
the Maha, but it has to be done willingly. A woman can never be coerced. A woman can ever be pushed
into a situation where she has to forfeit the Mahal, it cannot be done with force. If she says very
willingly, that I forfeit the MaHA then there's nothing wrong with that she can forfeit the Mahara.
The last thing quickly I wanted to cover Inshallah, and by the way, when it comes to how much the
MaHA should be, this is a very by the way, a very long topic a very long subject. I cannot get into
that right now. But once again, inshallah some other day we'll get into this but the last thing I
		

			want to cover is something that is very common, especially within the subcontinent culture, the the
in the Indian, Pakistan, Bangladeshi culture and so forth. And that is that many families,
especially the girls, families, the brides families, they're forced into giving a jazz okay, you
understand the concept of jazz, some people can refer to it as dowry, but Subhanallah the cultural
overseas especially in these countries, what you have seen is that while the man is giving this much
of a Mahara, okay, the mahute is like this much. What they're demanding is this much in return. So
what they're doing is that they're telling the girl's family, that you have to provide all the
		

			kitchen utensils, you have to provide all the the bedroom furniture, you have to provide all the
living room furniture, and in return, what is the man giving, he's only giving peanuts, literally,
okay? He's giving peanuts, he's giving a small amount. The point of a mahute is that you have a girl
coming into your family. First of all, the man is the one who is financially responsible to take
care of his family. But you see here, what has happened is that they have taken the entire Dean and
they have twisted around, where instead the man giving more, and the woman not having to give
anything, it's where now the woman has to give a whole lot more. And the man is not giving anything,
		

			you're innocent And subhanAllah This is such a practice fight. By the way, where did this practice
come from? It is a Hindu concept. It is a Hindu concept. It does not exist in our deen in that sense
where you have to give something or where the boy's family can demand something. And by the way,
subhanAllah when I've been to, you know, when I traveled around and so forth, you come across many
families and so forth. I've come not across not one, many, many families, where now today their
daughters are at home, because the father cannot afford to get his daughters married. This is what
lie you volume. This is a an oppression that when you have boys families coming and demanding now
		

			they make this very clear. When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he had four daughters, Xena,
when we perform Rokia en
		

			Fatima in the case of Xena Ruqayyah OMA consume Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam did not give
anything to them at the time of their Nikka only in the case of Fatima or the Allah with Anna Anna,
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave her something very simple, which means that if a family
wants to give something to their daughter, prior to her Nikka they can give it to her, and that will
be her possession and her wealth, and no one can touch it. For example, if the father decides, I
want to give my daughter $10,000 as a gift, before she gets married, that's not community property.
That's not that does not belong to Him and her it belongs only to her, okay, it belongs only to her.
		

			Now, if the family comes forward and says you know what, you're getting married, you're moving away.
Okay, you know what, let's just say I'm giving you a random example here. We're going to pay for the
washer and dryer for example, if the if the wife's family says we want to pay for the washer and
dryer and they do that very willingly, without any kind of force from the boy from the voice family
or from the groom's family. There's nothing wrong with that if they if they want to come forward
very willingly and give something there's nothing wrong with that. But the boy's family should not
be demanding this because this is nowhere in our deen. This is nowhere in our deen, where they go
		

			and they demand these kinds of things. Because once again a puts immense amount of pressure. Now
imagine if a father has four daughters. Imagine if a father has three daughters overseas, and even
sometimes here happens to where they're demanding so much in return and Subhanallah they have to go
through their savings and drain out their savings and so forth.
		

			or just so that they can get their daughter married. Islam came to make things simple. Islam did not
come to make things difficult. We unfortunately in many of these cultures, they have made it very
difficult. So once again, the boy's family should not be demanding and if they're demanding a whole
lot first demanding anything is not right to begin with. If they give willingly no problem inshallah
I asked Allah subhanho wa Taala to give us the dough fit to stick to our deen May Allah subhanho wa
Taala keep our children maintain and steadfast upon Deen I'm a little bit odd I mean, what does that
mean Allah Hi salaam Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
		

			in and Mussolini now almost Lima D one meaning I will not mean it will quantity now look on it he
was law the law the bond the one saw beauty now was slavery a lot the one before she you know
		

			what unfortunately no one would call us the one downside BP now one downside the party was on me now
was all in
		

			one heavy Lena photo gentle home one Hatfield lot. The was that good enough long I guess.
		

			What's going on? I don't know hula.
		

			Now Lena