Nadim Bashir – Khatira – Importance of Raising MEN

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi Germain journey I give talks about like, about emotions about how to bring you know how to make things easy in our life. Today, I really want to talk about something that has been really on my mind for the last two, three days. And I've talked about this in a Joomla hotbar. By far, let me talk about this in salted Fajr. Because usually what we have is other Fajr is the cream of the community. This is the cream of the crop. And I want to talk about something that has been honestly bothering me for some time. You know, subhanAllah, this one week, this just past one week, I received four to five

calls about I want to get a divorce. This this one, this just this one week, I want to get a divorce. And it got me thinking this is not the first time this has happened. There has been other times where, you know, I get continuous calls. It just It comes as a big wave. And then it subsides. And then it comes again as a big wave. And so it got me thinking that what's wrong today with our growing men.

And then at the same time, I'm seeing that when I talk to, you know, people who are in the field of psychology, people who are counselors, people who are guiding young men and young women, and they're telling me to when I talk to them that, you know, do you ever talk to young Muslim men? And what do you see? And they told me that it's very disturbing you on with him? It's very disturbing. Now let me make one disclaimer in my saying that there's no problems with our young women. Also, I'm not saying that either. There are problems. But right now we are here, the men and I really want to address something. There are three things that today I'm going to leave you with, that we have to

really focus on when it comes to our young men. We you have a teenage son, or you have an upcoming son. There are three things that I'm going to leave you with that we have to truly focus on. The very first thing is

the very first thing is that we have to teach our children, especially our young men, our young boys is a clock. You know a lot of times we feel that the most important thing to teach them is religiosity. Before religiosity came o'clock, before the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam became a prophet. There was a clock the Prophet SAW Allah Who are you with some he says before it's too late with him mama Kadima o'clock, I was sent to perfect character. So when we talk about our young men, it's not just about religiosity is not just about making them memorize the Quran is not about the sending them every single day to the masjid, and read the Quran and read the Quran and come to

the masjid. And outwardly, you have this very beautiful picture. But internally, the clock is so damaged, it is suffering at such a high level, that they don't know how to do the basic things in life. They don't know how to interact in the most basic way. Brothers and sisters o'clock is the most important thing. You don't have a clock all the rebar that that you do after that, it becomes meaningless. There are many a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where people have come to the property you sit on one story, people came to the property you some that there's a certain person, there's a lady, she prays she does this, she does that. But her clock is suffering.

The prophets Allah or some says that this o'clock, I mean, the fact that her Ibadah is of no good if this is the way her o'clock is. So brothers and sisters, we talk so much about a clock for the member, we talked so much about o'clock from the pulpit, you know how many lectures have been given about a clock. And I can almost guarantee you that if you start a series over here about a clock. Many times people feel like, Oh, this is a cliche topic. This is not a topic that I'm you know, I need to learn about, I already have good o'clock. But if we have good o'clock, that is going to translate into our kids also. So the very first thing I truly want to highlight today is a club. The

second thing and listen to me, this would be very careful when I say this habits.

You know, subhanAllah today, you know, there's a very well known saying that we find today on society, boys will be boys. How many of you ever heard that?

You know what that means? Do we ever think about what that actually means? It actually let me tell you what that means. It means that no matter what boys are going to do, what wrong they're going to do, what kind of bad habits they're going to have. It's fine. This statement boys are going to be boys

It's as if you're justifying your actions. When there's when when women are raped in society, you know how many people you know how many how people, sometimes they respond, Oh boys are gonna be boys. That's the way it is. So here's what we need to do in our in our families. First of all, is that this idea that today we have like, for example, we put a restriction on our own daughters, daughters, you, you stay here at home, you cannot go home after some time. If you're outside, make sure you are back inside the house at a particular time. But you know what happens with our boys? We think that they're angels. Okay. And yes, there are some boys who are Masha Allah, they are really

good. But this is not about that. When we let go of our kids, especially our boys, stay out, stay outside as long as you want, it does not matter. This is wrong. Playing simple wrong. Because you know what happens when this when this becomes a habit of theirs, when they get married one day, then they're going to stay outside. Instead of being at home with their wife, they're going to be outside. When we let our kids play video games for four or five, six hours on a day, which goes against all aspects of being productive in life, then they're gonna have the same habit. And believe me when I say this, I still see today that people who are getting married young men who are getting

married, they're sitting around playing video games for four or five, six hours, how's that been productive in life? How's that being a good husband? You know how many young women today we find our community who are not getting married? You know why? I'll tell you why. Because there's no good men out there left.

At the same time, sometimes our boys didn't want to be so isolated from everyone. You know, let's go to let's go to $1. No, I want to stay at home, I want to be alone, I want to be alone. This is not normal. It's because think about this, the date comes at they get married, and their wife is gonna want to be around a husband, who goes out who's a little I don't know, I'm not saying you have to be very social, being very social also is not good. There has to be a balance. You don't have to be extra social, you don't have to be completely isolated, but be at a moderate level. But when you have these young men who are completely either so isolated, or they're so outside, they're always

outside, or they're always playing video games and so forth. And not only that, but the way sometimes they talk about women and so forth. We're not developing proper and the next generation of good husbands. That's our responsibility as parents. So going forward, we'd have to really focus on habits with the Prophet SAW, while while he was some it does not count. You know, I do say that. When it comes to education, yes, we need to educate our children. Right now, statistics say that there are more girls in college, there are more girls who are graduating with a higher with higher educations. And so when these girls when they're looking also for a husband, they want someone who

has a decent amount of education, if not on the same level, a decent amount of education because it becomes their responsibility to provide a roof over their head and put food on the table for their family. That's the responsibility of the husband. So think about this, is it as long as they're close by, but a HELOC, as I said earlier, is very important. Rasulullah sallallahu it he was sending him when he got married to Khadija or the Allah wanna think about this, who had more money? Who had more money? How do you know the Alon had more money? Had she had more money? Who had a business? It was the Hadith of the Allahu anha. But that did not deter her from marrying the Prophet sallallahu

sallam. Why? Because he had habits, good healthy habits. And how did that get built? First of all, is that if you say the CEO of the province is Salam, he was a shepherd at one time as this as if I mean, as is the case with all the Gambia, there were shepherds at one time in their life. And it's the reason why this is so so important is because when you are a shepherd, it builds bravery and you it builds compassion to you for your animals. It builds responsibility in you for your for your animals, it builds understanding. And you have this understanding that these animals are my responsibility. Just like a shepherd protects them. It builds the understanding of protection. So

this all these things, they start to build up a person and our kids face, they don't have these kinds of things. So the first thing I said was a clock. The second one is habits, please, we have to build good proper habits within our young man so that when they become husbands one day, they can be actual men, actual men. And the third thing is the most important thing that I would say is Toccoa just building basic oil in their life. If a husband and wife are

going to have Taqwa that Takua is going to disseminate into the children also, let me give you a quick offense on this inshallah very beautiful story.

A man once was extremely hungry. And he his name was sabot. So it's habit. You know, one day he was a man of righteousness, a lot of piety, a lot of Dakhla. So one day he saw that there was a tree filled with apples, he was extremely hungry. So he plucked off an apple, and he ate it. After a while, it came to his mind think about this, how much Dakota how much mind awareness this man has. He went to the owner, he says, I took one apple. That's it. He just took one apple, he was extremely hungry. But he felt that it was his moral obligation to go back to the owner and tell him that I took when Apple please forgive me. I took it without permission. So he went to the owner, he says, I

took it I took this one apple, please forgive me. I you know, I was really hungry. My hunger overcame my my sense of piety that time. So he says, Can you forgive me? He says, No, I won't forgive you. So he says that, please, just anything. I'll do whatever you want. He's like, Okay, you want it, you want something? He goes, you have to marry my daughter. He goes, marry your daughter, okay? Because let me tell you from before my daughter, she can either see, she can either here, and she can either speak. Okay, she can either here, she can never speak. And she can either see, now this young man he's in, you know, is in a state of shock. He's like, What do I do? I want to be

forgiven. I don't want this to be you know, be on my shoulder on the day of judgment. And he's thinking, thinking thinking, he says, Okay, fine. I mean, he says that the asset is more important to me than this dunya. So he says, Okay, I'll get married to your daughter. And he's thinking to himself, how am I going to even connect with my wife on different levels? And which way is she can neither see nor hear no speak? How am I going to connect with her? But he said, Okay, I'll give him and he gave in. And the night comes where the I mean, the day comes to get married and so forth. And the father of the girl, the what he calls, the, the groom, this is the new guys over and everything.

So he calls he calls him in, and he says that, you know, this is you know, Inshallah, now in the next room, my daughter is there, as I told you, please take care of her. Once again, she can neither here nor speak nor nor see, but just take care of her. She's now your responsibility. And this man is still thinking, what am I going to do? He might have what am I gonna do? So he goes into the next room, and she stands up and she says, A salam o aleikum. wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And he shocked at that you cannot speak. And she says, I can speak. So which means that she can see she can hear and she can speak. So he's he was shocked. He said, I don't understand your father said that you can

do any of these three things. And she says, that when my father said that I'm blind. It means that I have never, ever seen anything in my life. That is that is classified as haram. When my when my father said that I'm deaf. It means that I've never heard anything in my life that is considered as haram. And when I am I am mute. It means that I can I have never said anything that is considered as wrong. That's all it is. That's what my father meant. And subhanAllah you think you think about this man of such piety, a woman of such piety and from that marriage, comes a person by the name of Norma even a phablet or formally known as imam, Abu Hanifa. Muhammad Allah usually, when husband and wife

they have piety that translates into the kids, it may not be at the same level, but it does most certainly come into the kids. So these are three things I leave you with today. Inshallah. I do want to see i is not happy even as we started module also, you can use it as your key asset. I mean, the amount of divorces that are taking place, we want to build up the next generation of proper men. But these are three things I leave you with today. They're stuck, there's a clock, there's proper good habits. And the last thing is Dakota I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make our generation, a better generation may Allah subhanho wa Taala make our young young growing men, proper proper men, men who

are productive men who will be good role models for the future. I mean, a lot I mean, does that Kamala hate a cinematic want to live

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