Nadim Bashir – It is The ParentS Responsibility

Nadim Bashir
AI: Summary ©
The responsibility of parents to protect their children is discussed, including the need for training and dressing for a good experience. The challenges of young children dressing and the importance of dressing for a good experience are emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the need for parents to address clothing issues and encourage parents to make their own decisions when teenagers are learning. The importance of dressing properly is emphasized, including not allowing children to make their own decisions and letting them make their own decisions when teenagers are learning.
AI: Transcript ©
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Today inshallah, I want to talk about something

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else related to not only just the youth

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But it's more of a problem regarding the

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children Which in essence falls on the responsibility

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of us parents I want to begin with

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the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ where he

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says كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ The

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Prophet ﷺ is painting a picture for us

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in this hadith When he talks about responsibilities,

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he says that the shepherd is responsible for

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his flock Last week I give you the

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example of why did every single prophet become

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a shepherd If you remember I talked about

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this because the shepherd by taking care of

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his flock He builds bravery.

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He builds understanding.

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He builds responsibility and the list goes on

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When the Prophet ﷺ says that a man

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is a is like a shepherd He is

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the one who is responsible of his family

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to protect his family When Allah subhanahu wa'ta

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'ala says يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوْ أَنفُسَكُمْ

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وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا It is a responsibility of the

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man and not only that but with the

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support of his wife The mother of the

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children to protect their children and not only

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just protect their children from Jahannam or Making

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wrong decisions, but to make the right decisions

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for their kids Let me tell you what

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happened some time ago.

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I had a gentleman who came to me

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He said that we're about to we're expecting

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a child.

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We're expecting a baby boy So I said,

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okay, mashallah mabrook.

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So they said that but we are thinking

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about doing things a little differently I said,

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please explain So I said so they said

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that we as far as the circumcision is

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concerned regarding the child We're thinking that we

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don't want to do the circumcision of the

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child and we want to wait to a

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later time in that child's life And we

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want to see if that is their decision

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or not If it is their decision, then

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we will do the the circumcision and if

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it's not their decision, then we won't we

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won't do it You see this is one

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of the biggest problems of our society today

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Letting children make decisions for their future When

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is telling

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us that we as parents We are responsible.

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We are the shepherd and they are like

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the flock.

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We have to make the right decisions for

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them So this idea that let the children

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first of all, the children are too small

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or Let the children make their own decisions

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in life Brothers and sisters to be honest

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our children.

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They don't know how to make decisions when

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they are young Their decisions are based on

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entertainment Their decisions are based on what is

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fun That's all that their paradigm and their

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world paradigm is anything that's gonna be fun

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They're gonna do that.

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You ask a child you want to go

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to school?

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No, I don't want to go to school

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Okay, it's not like they will wake up

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late.

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They also wake up in the morning bother

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their parents Okay, they will still be there

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and they want to say at home not

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do anything.

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Do they want to do homework?

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No homework.

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They won't take any responsibilities.

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No responsibilities This is how a child is

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generally and you and I we were all

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we all went through that the thing is

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that we were growing up in a time

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where our parents made decisions for us and

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Our parents made decisions for us based on

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what was hired for us What was good

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for us and though we may not liked

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our parents decisions regarding us Today we turn

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around and we thank them today we turn

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around and we appreciate them for all that

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they did for us and we realize that

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putting some kind of strictness on our children

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and applying some kind of Discipline is the

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right way to go now the reason I

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bring this up is because another issue that

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I'm seeing especially when it comes to the

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children and See a lot of times before

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I get into this We read the hadith

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of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and we

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say we have our own understanding regarding these

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hadith but when you look at the current

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situation, we are living in we're not able

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to bring the two together and Sometimes when

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we're trying to bring the two together, there

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might be an injustice For example, you know

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the other day I had a had a

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discussion with a brother He said that I

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believe that in the time of Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wasallam Like there was a situation.

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It was not a common occurrence.

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It was not your mainstream practice, but nonetheless

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there was a situation where a ten-year

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-old child led the Salat Now often people

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want to come forward and say oh, I

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want my ten-year-old child to lead

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the Salat I want a ten-year-old

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to lead the Salat.

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Well, you got to understand that there's a

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difference Today when I come to the masjid

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I see mashallah there are some ten-year

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-old children who are praying Salat well but

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there are a lot of ten-year-old

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children too who are like Who are like

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this also, you understand?

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Training the kids is important at the same

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time that their understanding of Tahara Our understanding

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the kids of today a ten-year-old

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child does not have the basic understanding of

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Tahara for the most part It is our

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responsibility as parents that yes when they're using

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the restroom at home We teach them how

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to use a restroom at home But we

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have to also educate them that when they

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go to public spaces where it might not

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be so clean How to protect yourself?

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How often do we see kids walking inside

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with socks on going inside the bathroom?

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No slippers Going inside the restroom using the

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restroom coming outside when the time of Salat

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comes quick Masaa on the socks And they're

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coming inside the masjid like this the Tarbiyah

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the education Is extremely important In addition to

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this that i'm seeing that we need to

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always really subhanallah We need to really emphasize

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on our children is what I really want

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to get today is the importance of clothing

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Lately i've been you know lately has been

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on my mind to talk about this when

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I come to the masjid I see so

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many children subhanallah First of all the shirts,

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you know khair, you know in a certain

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capacity.

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They're fine And a certain capacity they're fine

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But how many children today they come to

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the masjid and they're wearing shorts?

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And one is shorts that are going like

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they come here to the shin area that

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is still acceptable to a certain degree But

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when you see children coming in And you're

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wearing shorts at the knee or at the

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knee That when they go into ruku then

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when they go into sujood the knees are

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going to be exposed Covering the knee is

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part of the aura of a man It

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is part of the aura that means that

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it must remain covered throughout the duration of

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the salat.

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It doesn't mean That it should be covered

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while i'm standing while i'm making ruku when

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i'm making sujood when the knee is bent

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They're usually the shorts they come a little

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up and the knee is often exposed I

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understand that if the kids first of all

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even honestly speaking If the kids want to

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come I and this is an issue that

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we see even with our youth I have

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seen 16 year old people coming here to

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this masjid 18 year old people coming to

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the masjid And i've seen even adults unfortunately

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coming to the masjid when they are their

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shorts are to here First of all is

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that wearing shorts like this In public for

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a man a muslim man is unacceptable It

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doesn't matter where you're going Even i've talked

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about this in the past a long time

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ago that even at home Where even at

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home this actually starts from home At home,

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how should the parents dress?

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How the parents dress is how it will

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cultivate the mind of these children If the

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parents have a habit of dressing Not well

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at home Then eventually the kids are not

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going to dress well, too They're going to

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feel the need that why do I have

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to dress?

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If this if the parents are not going

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to be or are not going to dress

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according to sharia I'm, not saying you have

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to wear a full thobe and everything at

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home But there are certain aspects that we

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have to fulfill as parents and we have

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to Teach our children that this is what

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needs to be covered at the bare minimum

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Then when the time of salat comes we

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teach our children this is how you are

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to pray This is how you are to

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dress yourself up But when we are not

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teaching our children, then our children are not

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going to understand.

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Where are the limitations?

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So they're coming and they're wearing these kind

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of shorts in public I wear sometimes shorts,

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but I wear them here to the shin

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area.

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I don't wear them Even anywhere above because

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that is what we need to understand.

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That's what we got to teach our children,

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too So when at from a young age

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if they're not if the parents are not

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doing this the right way The children are

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not going to understand this the right way

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and not only that But if the parents

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especially the parents and you know subhanallah just

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the things that you see nowadays But even

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when there are joint activities There are times

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i've seen you know muslims coming together joint

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activities brothers and sisters sisters are still dressed

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Somewhat modest but you'll find a brother a

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few brothers They're dressed, you know, once again

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the women over there and there are non

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-mahram women and their their shorts are to

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here so This is what this is what

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has been bothering me Honestly that I need

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we I feel the need that we need

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to address and we need to really Make

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a sincere effort within our families to do

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better When kids are growing up and they

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come and if they're dressed there are sometimes

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I've there are some kids also, by the

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way Just from the time i've joined here

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at epic.

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I've never seen them in pants Okay I've

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never ever seen them in pants and I

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wonder like should I buy them a pair

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of pants?

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Like there's this there's just no pants in

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their vocabulary subhanallah So this is something that

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really needs to be emphasized also when it

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comes to even the girls to be honest

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There are so many times where girls are

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coming in mothers are coming in with hijab

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But even when the girls are coming in

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Put a hijab on them Even if it's

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not necessary put a hijab on them.

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You know, why because often what happens is

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That when you say that oh, they're young

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Don't put it on them.

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Don't let don't put you know, don't force

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it upon them.

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Let them make their own decisions First of

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all, I don't understand this concept Let them

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let them make their own decisions when the

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prophet says Kullukum ra'in wa kullukum mas

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'ulun an ra'iyatihi That means as we

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as parents we need to make that decision

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for them.

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They may not like it put it on

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them They will grow the love for it

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If the mother is wearing the hijab and

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they're praying salat at home and they're wearing

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the hijab They're standing with mom and they're

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praying salat and they're wearing the hijab and

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they're doing that five times a day If

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not five times a day at least three

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to four times a day And then they're

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going outside they see the mom they see

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mom wearing the hijab They see the older

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sister wearing the hijab then eventually they're going

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to want to wear the hijab when you

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send them to the masjid Don't tell them

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that this is your choice You put the

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hijab on them from a young age when

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they keep on wearing the hijab when they

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grow up They're going to want to remain

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in the hijab for the most part when

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you see girls often They don't want to

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wear the hijab it's because from a young

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age They were never taught the importance of

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wearing the hijab when you find men who

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don't want to dress properly It is not

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because of they who they are but it's

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because when they were young they were not

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educated the right way So this is why

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and this is you know subhanallah This is

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I saw one gentleman some time ago here

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at epic He came and he he was

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wearing shorts And he's trying to pull down

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his shorts right before salat so that his

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knees can remain covered This is not the

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right way So this is why the most

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important thing that I want us to understand

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from this brief khatira is number one this

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idea That we will let our kids make

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their own decisions Let them make their own

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decisions when they're teenagers Let them make their

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decisions when they become adults if they make

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the wrong decision, they will learn in life

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They will learn the hard way, but when

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they're kids you as a parent you make

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that decision Keep this hadith in mind.

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This hadith is not only about responsibility.

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It's about just like a shepherd makes decisions

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for its flock Likewise, the parent makes decisions

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for their for their children and for their

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family.

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This is what this hadith means number two

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is Salat once again The only way our

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kids will understand the importance of salat if

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it is built at home When you see

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kids, they don't know how to pray the

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salat It's because often they're not praying at

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home and their parents are not praying and

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even if the parents are praying and they're

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seeing their kids They're you know what they're

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saying at least At least he's standing he's

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praying salat.

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No make him pray salat the correct way

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Don't let's not let's not be Content over

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the small that they're doing Let's teach them

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the full magnitude the full understanding of salat

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and number three is especially when it comes

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to clothing Please please please Make them wear

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the proper and appropriate clothing from a young

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age And this falls number one on the

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parents as parents We cannot dress the wrong

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way and then expect our kids to dress

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the right way We as parents we dress

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the right way when they go out and

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then our kids inshallah We'll eventually learn how

00:14:02 --> 00:14:05

to dress the right way Yes, alhamdulillah.

00:14:05 --> 00:14:06

There are some kids.

00:14:06 --> 00:14:09

There are some youth who dress well But

00:14:09 --> 00:14:10

there are a lot of children also who

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are not dressing well.

00:14:12 --> 00:14:14

And once again, it's not on them It's

00:14:14 --> 00:14:17

on the parents it starts off with the

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parents and then it it trickles down into

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the family if these kids They know how

00:14:22 --> 00:14:23

to dress.

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Well, they know how to dress modestly And

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haya is part of our faith haya is

00:14:28 --> 00:14:32

everything to us because as is as there's

00:14:32 --> 00:14:34

a saying I believe Um, I mean if

00:14:34 --> 00:14:39

you have no haya you do whatever you

00:14:39 --> 00:14:41

want when you look at the society Wallahi

00:14:41 --> 00:14:41

has no haya.

00:14:42 --> 00:14:43

That's why they act like animals.

00:14:43 --> 00:14:44

You understand?

00:14:45 --> 00:14:47

That's why one thing that protects us from

00:14:47 --> 00:14:50

going and crossing the limits is that haya

00:14:50 --> 00:14:52

that we have And today there are not

00:14:52 --> 00:14:54

only just muslims there are non-muslims I

00:14:54 --> 00:14:57

can tell you who are writing about haya

00:14:57 --> 00:14:59

who are writing The where is the modesty

00:14:59 --> 00:15:00

within our kids?

00:15:00 --> 00:15:01

Where is the modesty?

00:15:01 --> 00:15:03

But when you have the music culture when

00:15:03 --> 00:15:05

you have the hollywood culture when you have

00:15:05 --> 00:15:07

the woke culture Everyone is saying do whatever

00:15:07 --> 00:15:08

you want to do.

00:15:08 --> 00:15:10

You have all these people that our youth

00:15:10 --> 00:15:12

are running after They admire they follow them

00:15:12 --> 00:15:15

on instagram and tiktok and everything They are

00:15:15 --> 00:15:18

exposed this culture over and over again And

00:15:18 --> 00:15:20

these people have absolutely no haya in the

00:15:20 --> 00:15:22

way they talk they have no haya in

00:15:22 --> 00:15:23

the way they dress They have no haya

00:15:23 --> 00:15:26

in the way they they carry themselves.

00:15:26 --> 00:15:29

Then this is why they are Impressed and

00:15:29 --> 00:15:30

they look up to them.

00:15:30 --> 00:15:32

That is why we need to protect our

00:15:32 --> 00:15:35

children from the fitnas of our society I

00:15:35 --> 00:15:37

ask allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to grant all

00:15:37 --> 00:15:39

of us tawfiq inshallah May allah subhanahu wa'ta

00:15:39 --> 00:15:41

'ala give us the tawfiq to raise our

00:15:41 --> 00:15:42

kids the right way

00:15:44 --> 00:16:13

On

00:16:14 --> 00:16:45

Foreign Foreign

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