Nadim Bashir – It is The ParentS Responsibility
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Today inshallah, I want to talk about something
else related to not only just the youth
But it's more of a problem regarding the
children Which in essence falls on the responsibility
of us parents I want to begin with
the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ where he
says كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ The
Prophet ﷺ is painting a picture for us
in this hadith When he talks about responsibilities,
he says that the shepherd is responsible for
his flock Last week I give you the
example of why did every single prophet become
a shepherd If you remember I talked about
this because the shepherd by taking care of
his flock He builds bravery.
He builds understanding.
He builds responsibility and the list goes on
When the Prophet ﷺ says that a man
is a is like a shepherd He is
the one who is responsible of his family
to protect his family When Allah subhanahu wa'ta
'ala says يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوْ أَنفُسَكُمْ
وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا It is a responsibility of the
man and not only that but with the
support of his wife The mother of the
children to protect their children and not only
just protect their children from Jahannam or Making
wrong decisions, but to make the right decisions
for their kids Let me tell you what
happened some time ago.
I had a gentleman who came to me
He said that we're about to we're expecting
a child.
We're expecting a baby boy So I said,
okay, mashallah mabrook.
So they said that but we are thinking
about doing things a little differently I said,
please explain So I said so they said
that we as far as the circumcision is
concerned regarding the child We're thinking that we
don't want to do the circumcision of the
child and we want to wait to a
later time in that child's life And we
want to see if that is their decision
or not If it is their decision, then
we will do the the circumcision and if
it's not their decision, then we won't we
won't do it You see this is one
of the biggest problems of our society today
Letting children make decisions for their future When
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is telling
us that we as parents We are responsible.
We are the shepherd and they are like
the flock.
We have to make the right decisions for
them So this idea that let the children
first of all, the children are too small
or Let the children make their own decisions
in life Brothers and sisters to be honest
our children.
They don't know how to make decisions when
they are young Their decisions are based on
entertainment Their decisions are based on what is
fun That's all that their paradigm and their
world paradigm is anything that's gonna be fun
They're gonna do that.
You ask a child you want to go
to school?
No, I don't want to go to school
Okay, it's not like they will wake up
late.
They also wake up in the morning bother
their parents Okay, they will still be there
and they want to say at home not
do anything.
Do they want to do homework?
No homework.
They won't take any responsibilities.
No responsibilities This is how a child is
generally and you and I we were all
we all went through that the thing is
that we were growing up in a time
where our parents made decisions for us and
Our parents made decisions for us based on
what was hired for us What was good
for us and though we may not liked
our parents decisions regarding us Today we turn
around and we thank them today we turn
around and we appreciate them for all that
they did for us and we realize that
putting some kind of strictness on our children
and applying some kind of Discipline is the
right way to go now the reason I
bring this up is because another issue that
I'm seeing especially when it comes to the
children and See a lot of times before
I get into this We read the hadith
of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and we
say we have our own understanding regarding these
hadith but when you look at the current
situation, we are living in we're not able
to bring the two together and Sometimes when
we're trying to bring the two together, there
might be an injustice For example, you know
the other day I had a had a
discussion with a brother He said that I
believe that in the time of Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wasallam Like there was a situation.
It was not a common occurrence.
It was not your mainstream practice, but nonetheless
there was a situation where a ten-year
-old child led the Salat Now often people
want to come forward and say oh, I
want my ten-year-old child to lead
the Salat I want a ten-year-old
to lead the Salat.
Well, you got to understand that there's a
difference Today when I come to the masjid
I see mashallah there are some ten-year
-old children who are praying Salat well but
there are a lot of ten-year-old
children too who are like Who are like
this also, you understand?
Training the kids is important at the same
time that their understanding of Tahara Our understanding
the kids of today a ten-year-old
child does not have the basic understanding of
Tahara for the most part It is our
responsibility as parents that yes when they're using
the restroom at home We teach them how
to use a restroom at home But we
have to also educate them that when they
go to public spaces where it might not
be so clean How to protect yourself?
How often do we see kids walking inside
with socks on going inside the bathroom?
No slippers Going inside the restroom using the
restroom coming outside when the time of Salat
comes quick Masaa on the socks And they're
coming inside the masjid like this the Tarbiyah
the education Is extremely important In addition to
this that i'm seeing that we need to
always really subhanallah We need to really emphasize
on our children is what I really want
to get today is the importance of clothing
Lately i've been you know lately has been
on my mind to talk about this when
I come to the masjid I see so
many children subhanallah First of all the shirts,
you know khair, you know in a certain
capacity.
They're fine And a certain capacity they're fine
But how many children today they come to
the masjid and they're wearing shorts?
And one is shorts that are going like
they come here to the shin area that
is still acceptable to a certain degree But
when you see children coming in And you're
wearing shorts at the knee or at the
knee That when they go into ruku then
when they go into sujood the knees are
going to be exposed Covering the knee is
part of the aura of a man It
is part of the aura that means that
it must remain covered throughout the duration of
the salat.
It doesn't mean That it should be covered
while i'm standing while i'm making ruku when
i'm making sujood when the knee is bent
They're usually the shorts they come a little
up and the knee is often exposed I
understand that if the kids first of all
even honestly speaking If the kids want to
come I and this is an issue that
we see even with our youth I have
seen 16 year old people coming here to
this masjid 18 year old people coming to
the masjid And i've seen even adults unfortunately
coming to the masjid when they are their
shorts are to here First of all is
that wearing shorts like this In public for
a man a muslim man is unacceptable It
doesn't matter where you're going Even i've talked
about this in the past a long time
ago that even at home Where even at
home this actually starts from home At home,
how should the parents dress?
How the parents dress is how it will
cultivate the mind of these children If the
parents have a habit of dressing Not well
at home Then eventually the kids are not
going to dress well, too They're going to
feel the need that why do I have
to dress?
If this if the parents are not going
to be or are not going to dress
according to sharia I'm, not saying you have
to wear a full thobe and everything at
home But there are certain aspects that we
have to fulfill as parents and we have
to Teach our children that this is what
needs to be covered at the bare minimum
Then when the time of salat comes we
teach our children this is how you are
to pray This is how you are to
dress yourself up But when we are not
teaching our children, then our children are not
going to understand.
Where are the limitations?
So they're coming and they're wearing these kind
of shorts in public I wear sometimes shorts,
but I wear them here to the shin
area.
I don't wear them Even anywhere above because
that is what we need to understand.
That's what we got to teach our children,
too So when at from a young age
if they're not if the parents are not
doing this the right way The children are
not going to understand this the right way
and not only that But if the parents
especially the parents and you know subhanallah just
the things that you see nowadays But even
when there are joint activities There are times
i've seen you know muslims coming together joint
activities brothers and sisters sisters are still dressed
Somewhat modest but you'll find a brother a
few brothers They're dressed, you know, once again
the women over there and there are non
-mahram women and their their shorts are to
here so This is what this is what
has been bothering me Honestly that I need
we I feel the need that we need
to address and we need to really Make
a sincere effort within our families to do
better When kids are growing up and they
come and if they're dressed there are sometimes
I've there are some kids also, by the
way Just from the time i've joined here
at epic.
I've never seen them in pants Okay I've
never ever seen them in pants and I
wonder like should I buy them a pair
of pants?
Like there's this there's just no pants in
their vocabulary subhanallah So this is something that
really needs to be emphasized also when it
comes to even the girls to be honest
There are so many times where girls are
coming in mothers are coming in with hijab
But even when the girls are coming in
Put a hijab on them Even if it's
not necessary put a hijab on them.
You know, why because often what happens is
That when you say that oh, they're young
Don't put it on them.
Don't let don't put you know, don't force
it upon them.
Let them make their own decisions First of
all, I don't understand this concept Let them
let them make their own decisions when the
prophet says Kullukum ra'in wa kullukum mas
'ulun an ra'iyatihi That means as we
as parents we need to make that decision
for them.
They may not like it put it on
them They will grow the love for it
If the mother is wearing the hijab and
they're praying salat at home and they're wearing
the hijab They're standing with mom and they're
praying salat and they're wearing the hijab and
they're doing that five times a day If
not five times a day at least three
to four times a day And then they're
going outside they see the mom they see
mom wearing the hijab They see the older
sister wearing the hijab then eventually they're going
to want to wear the hijab when you
send them to the masjid Don't tell them
that this is your choice You put the
hijab on them from a young age when
they keep on wearing the hijab when they
grow up They're going to want to remain
in the hijab for the most part when
you see girls often They don't want to
wear the hijab it's because from a young
age They were never taught the importance of
wearing the hijab when you find men who
don't want to dress properly It is not
because of they who they are but it's
because when they were young they were not
educated the right way So this is why
and this is you know subhanallah This is
I saw one gentleman some time ago here
at epic He came and he he was
wearing shorts And he's trying to pull down
his shorts right before salat so that his
knees can remain covered This is not the
right way So this is why the most
important thing that I want us to understand
from this brief khatira is number one this
idea That we will let our kids make
their own decisions Let them make their own
decisions when they're teenagers Let them make their
decisions when they become adults if they make
the wrong decision, they will learn in life
They will learn the hard way, but when
they're kids you as a parent you make
that decision Keep this hadith in mind.
This hadith is not only about responsibility.
It's about just like a shepherd makes decisions
for its flock Likewise, the parent makes decisions
for their for their children and for their
family.
This is what this hadith means number two
is Salat once again The only way our
kids will understand the importance of salat if
it is built at home When you see
kids, they don't know how to pray the
salat It's because often they're not praying at
home and their parents are not praying and
even if the parents are praying and they're
seeing their kids They're you know what they're
saying at least At least he's standing he's
praying salat.
No make him pray salat the correct way
Don't let's not let's not be Content over
the small that they're doing Let's teach them
the full magnitude the full understanding of salat
and number three is especially when it comes
to clothing Please please please Make them wear
the proper and appropriate clothing from a young
age And this falls number one on the
parents as parents We cannot dress the wrong
way and then expect our kids to dress
the right way We as parents we dress
the right way when they go out and
then our kids inshallah We'll eventually learn how
to dress the right way Yes, alhamdulillah.
There are some kids.
There are some youth who dress well But
there are a lot of children also who
are not dressing well.
And once again, it's not on them It's
on the parents it starts off with the
parents and then it it trickles down into
the family if these kids They know how
to dress.
Well, they know how to dress modestly And
haya is part of our faith haya is
everything to us because as is as there's
a saying I believe Um, I mean if
you have no haya you do whatever you
want when you look at the society Wallahi
has no haya.
That's why they act like animals.
You understand?
That's why one thing that protects us from
going and crossing the limits is that haya
that we have And today there are not
only just muslims there are non-muslims I
can tell you who are writing about haya
who are writing The where is the modesty
within our kids?
Where is the modesty?
But when you have the music culture when
you have the hollywood culture when you have
the woke culture Everyone is saying do whatever
you want to do.
You have all these people that our youth
are running after They admire they follow them
on instagram and tiktok and everything They are
exposed this culture over and over again And
these people have absolutely no haya in the
way they talk they have no haya in
the way they dress They have no haya
in the way they they carry themselves.
Then this is why they are Impressed and
they look up to them.
That is why we need to protect our
children from the fitnas of our society I
ask allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to grant all
of us tawfiq inshallah May allah subhanahu wa'ta
'ala give us the tawfiq to raise our
kids the right way
On
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