Nadim Bashir – Importance Of Maintaining Family Ties
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of maintaining healthy relationships and maintaining a sense of connection in marriage. They emphasize the need for faith in Allah's power to create a sense of connection and respect for family members. The speakers also emphasize the importance of not taking sides and maintaining healthy relationships in order to achieve happiness. They stress the need to step in and not allow anyone in relationships to affect future relationships. The speakers also urge individuals to offer support and space for others to be present in their shoes.
AI: Summary ©
Muhammad
I ask
Allah that just as he has gathered us
here today on this day of jum'ah.
May Allah
gather us along with our families
in in the companionship of Rasulullah, he salallahu
alayhi wa sallam, and his
Amin.
I also ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
that he takes us from his duniya when
he is most pleased with us, and may
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala make our last
our best
I'm sure all of you are aware that
we have
after
after
and I intend to say a few words
about this young man, brother Bilal.
The first part of the
I wanna dedicate it to the topic I
had at hand, I had already planned throughout
the entire week to discuss and talk about,
and
I will dedicate the last part of my
to
talk about this young man.
Brothers and sisters,
Allah
through the prophet
teaches us the importance
of maintaining
relationships
and maintaining
family ties.
When
even before he became a prophet,
from the time of
as
a young man was observing
the injustices
of society.
But because he never had a platform,
because he could not say so much,
at that time he had to stay quiet,
and there's not much he could say.
But when he had this ability to speak
up,
when he had the ability to stand on
the right side,
from the time of Khalful Fudul,
though it is a very important event in
the sila of the Prophet
but many people are not aware of the
fact that this happened prior
to him becoming a prophet.
Which means
that you don't have to be necessarily even
a Muslim.
As long as you are a human being
when you see something that is wrong,
Because of the fact that Allah has created
something within you and I, which is in
English called innate human nature,
or in Arabic is called
Because of the fact that Allah has created
this within us, we know very well, and
we're able to differentiate between what is right
and what is wrong.
Rasulullah
salallahu alaihi wasallam saw a man being treated
unjustly in Makkah.
And the people of Makkah came together,
and they created which is called They created
a pact, which was eventually known as
But even in the seerah of the prophet
one of the very first things the prophet
alaihi wasallam was able to establish,
along with the fact that he was he
was
presenting his message,
and he was propagating his message of tawheed
and monotheism.
One of the most important things that prophet
established,
were the rights of people.
He saw that the yateem was abused in
the society.
And Allah, he calls it out in the
Quran when he says,
How they were treating the yateem. The prophet
saw
that how girls were being treated in the
community. How were How girls were being buried
alive, and the prophet alaihis salam eradicated this
behavior.
And throughout this entire
journey,
the Sira of the prophet alaihis salam,
we learned that till the last moment of
his life,
he always emphasized
on people's rights.
He always emphasized
on relationships,
and he always emphasized on maintaining
those relationships.
Why do you think the prophet alaihis salam,
he maintained this message
over and over again?
Because the reality is brother and sisters, that
relationships
are hard.
Relationships,
especially when it comes to family members, when
it comes to your own kids, when it
comes to your own spouse.
It is very
very difficult.
If you don't like someone, you can stay
out of their hairs. You can stay out
of their way, but you cannot do that
with family.
If you don't like someone's personality, you can
generally stay away from them, but you can't
do that with family. If you don't like
someone's way of thinking, you can generally stay
away from them but you can do that
with family. The truth is that each and
every one of us,
we have certain personalities. We
are difficult in some certain way. And this
is why you see that when a husband
and wife, when they embark on this journey
of marriage,
there are difficulties,
there are conflicts
that usually occur.
Why? Because of these
of these issues that they're not able to
resolve. Sometimes it's a communication issue. Sometimes it's
an understanding
issue. But the point is, brothers and sisters,
when relationship
ships are so hard, when relationships are so
difficult, then the question is, the what do
I get?
What do we get
when I maintain a relationship?
Though people might be difficult,
but we have to also understand that people
might find me difficult too.
People might find us difficult.
When we find other families difficult,
some people might find my family difficult.
But when we keep a relationship,
when we keep the hearts united,
when we treat each other with respect and
dignity,
when someone says salaam and you respond with
the salaam, and someone asks you a question,
and you respond to them in a dignified
way. For those people who maintain this relationship,
there are a hadith of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam that talk about this. Because
one hadith that we find, very beautiful hadith
of the prophet alaihis salam, he says
that maintaining what he says in this hadith
is, in a nutshell, that maintaining
ties
serves as your evidence
that you are That you have faith in
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
It is a sign
that you actually believe in Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala because the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
he says that whoever believes in Allah,
Whoever believes in Allah
and the last day,
just like you and I, we believe that
it is a complete reality.
The last day, the day of judgment is
an absolute reality.
Likewise the prophet wasalam is saying that anyone
who has this kind of faith,
then the demand from Allah is what? That
they should maintain a good relationship
with their with their family members. With their
kith and kin. This is what the prophet
alaihis salam is saying. Once again, that no
matter what, because the fact that you know
that if I am patient today,
if I keep my mouth closed today, I'm
not talking about situations, brother and sisters, where
you are abused. I'm not talking about those
kind of relationships.
Those are things that require different steps that
you need to take. But the point is
that everyone is gonna be difficult in some
way. But if you can be around your
family, and maintain a cordial relationship.
Why?
Simply because I believe in Allah.
Simply because I believe in the last day.
This is what the demand is from the
prophet
and Allah
Also, there's another very beautiful hadith of the
prophet
narrated by Abu Dardar radhiallahu alaihi wasallam, where
he says, alaihi wasallam.
And before we listen to this hadith, I
want us all to understand this.
How often does it happen
where many of us,
spiritually,
we are so focused.
We will make sure we come to the
masjid every single day.
We will make sure that we read our
duas, morning and evening.
Our
We will make sure that we read Quran
every single day. We will make sure that
we are very punctual by our prayers. We're
going for umras every single year. Every other
year, after every few years, we're going for
hajj.
And we think that yes, spiritually we're on
the right path.
But a lot of times, what happens is,
as the as the Quran says,
How often we become
obsessed with the little that we are doing,
and we neglect our other responsibilities.
And often what happens is that we began
to abuse people in our families.
We are abusing our own kids, or abusing
especially our parents, or abusing other people in
our families and so forth. And usually in
this kind of situation,
we forget that when it comes to other
people, their rights, and maintaining a relationship,
this is also part of our deen. Just
like salat is important,
likewise maintaining a relationship is also important. Just
like reading Quran is important, maintaining our relationship
is also equally important. These are not 2
separate entities but rather they go hand in
hand.
When there was a woman in Madinah,
who was very spiritually engaged,
very spiritually oriented,
when she would abuse other people,
Rasulullah said very clear that the The wrong
that she is doing is gonna take her
to the fire of Jahannam.
So this is why brothers and sisters, there
are some of us who are so spiritually
engaged, and we forget about the other responsibilities.
And then there are people who are
they are very well-to-do when it comes to
people's rights.
But they neglect their spirituality
and they both go hand in hand.
He says, should I not inform you of
something
that is more excellent
in degree than fasting
and prayer and giving sadaqa?
This is something that even the sahaba of
you allahu anhu were asked.
The the sahaba they said, You Rasulullah,
yes prophet of Allah, he says putting
things right between people. Meaning doing between
people,
bringing people together,
and not only that but making sure you
keep them away from what is destructive.
This is what the prophet alaihi wasalam was
saying, that maintaining their relationship, even if there's
an issue in the family. There are times
when family members,
instead of stepping into the middle and bringing
the hearts together,
they have a habit of putting more fuel
to the fire.
They have a they have a habit of
taking sides.
There was never a situation
where the prophet
would take sides
unless there was a situation where a man
was clearly guilty, and there was another person
who was clearly innocent.
In those kind of situations, brothers and sisters,
if family members are getting involved,
and they are dividing
the 2 people, they are creating a greater
division, then they are also part of the
problem. It is part of the nature of
a Muslim, a believer in Allah, that you
step in and you try to bring the
hearts together. At the end of the day,
we call ourselves a community.
A community is made up of families. And
if families Families are made up of individuals.
If the people within the families cannot get
along,
then we don't have families. And if there
are no families, you don't have a community.
This is the mindset that we need to
have. And at the end of the day,
as the prophet he
says, that we are 1 ummah. We are
1 body. And that is the mindset that
we need to develop.
Now, on on top of that, it's also
important to understand the of the prophet
And there's a lot more that I wanna
share, but because of time I cannot. There
is one hadith of the prophet
wherein he says,
a person
who severs ties
and once again, it's not just about the
2 people who are involved,
who are severing ties with each other.
This also includes people who are stepping in,
and they are severing ties. This hadith even
applies to them. The prophet alayhi wasalam says,
the one who severs ties of kinship
will not enter into Jannah.
There are so many times in our families,
especially culturally speaking, let me be very
honest here.
There are many families where people believe
that there is, amongst the sibling of your
parents, perhaps,
There might be an uncle
who is the oldest of all the siblings.
Or there might be an auntie who is
the the oldest of all the siblings.
And
when it comes to family affairs,
whatever they say goes.
If they say to do what is wrong,
everyone in the family subhanahu, they will follow
accordingly.
This is not what we This is not
as a Muslim. We cannot stand on the
side of wrong. If we see someone breaking
up ties,
I need to step in. I don't care
what my entire family says. I will step
in because this is my responsibility
as a Muslim that I step in and
I do not sever ties. And even if
the entire family says that you need to
sever ties with this particular person,
that means that I am not responsible.
Their their orders are not unconditional. I've said
this before many times.
Unconditional
obedience
is only due to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Unconditional obedience
that is not due to our parents.
Unconditional
obedi obedience only
The only one who's deserving of that is
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And not only that,
but we follow the sunnah of Rasulullah
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So this is why it
is absolutely important that especially when it comes
to our families, brothers and sisters, you have
no idea.
I can share I can sit here for
the next 10 hours, share with you the
stories,
the calls,
on a weekly basis.
Weekly basis.
If you look at all the people who
who set up their appointments
to talk to me about their problems,
99%
are regarding families.
99
percent are regarding breaking up of families. Or
people are in conflict regarding their families. Or
some kind of family issue. And not only
that, but it breaks my heart.
When I have to hear over and over
again, that people are getting involved in the
families
and they're breaking up families.
Mother and father will get involved and tell
their son,
give a divorce to your wife.
You don't need to be with her anymore.
She didn't do anything wrong. Instead of you
giving your son advice, they'll go and work
with her. Go to conflict resolution.
Go to go go to some kind of
counseling. No, go and break up this marriage.
Sometimes it is the parents giving the advice
to their daughter. Sometimes it's the parents giving
the advice to their son, and you see
people are more
People find more happiness,
It feels like It seems like people find
more happiness
and breaking up families, rather than bringing people
together.
This is not Where is the fear of
Allah
Have we forgotten
that we have to stand before Allah on
the day of judgment?
When Allah says,
They have forgotten about the fact that they
have to stand in the court of Allah.
And how often families are breaking apart, marriages
are breaking apart. Why?
Because
people are coaching each other.
If you go and you do this, you
go in court and you say this, you
can take half of your husband's wealth. If
you go and you do this, you can
get these rights and that rights. Subhanallah, there
are people.
I mean it boggles my mind.
People coaching each other
how to break up your families.
How to break up your relationships.
And
to those people who do these kind of
things. Why? Because you want a certain level
of respect in your families?
Or because you find that You find happiness
in breaking people's families apart?
Remember one thing, you will not escape the
wrath of Allah.
We have to answer to Allah
at the end of the day. This duniya
will come to an end.
We will leave this duniya.
And then we will have to stand before
Allah. And we have to give an answer
to everything before Allah on the day of
judgment.
Brothers and sisters, if we maintain relationships,
Allah
will barakah in our life.
If we break up relationships,
Allah will take away that barakah from our
life. I ask
Allah that through this through his infinite mercy,
may Allah
bring our hearts together. May Allah
give us the tawfiq to maintain ties within
our families. And may Allah
even if there are conflicts and issues, may
Allah
give us the wisdom and the hikmah, and
the knowledge to overcome our issues in our
families.
SubhanAllah.
I was just sitting this morning
when I was when I first got the
news
of young,
Bilal.
And I was sitting in my you know,
so my wife was sitting right there, and
she basically put her hands on her mouth
and, you know, she had this expression. And
I asked
her right away that what has happened,
and she
told me about Bilal and subhanallah, I was
in a state of shock, to be honest.
You know, this this young man, subhanAllah,
I've known him since the Arrington days.
A young,
humble man,
He even led Taraweeh with me back in
the day when I was in Arrington.
I let I've been leading Taraweeh for many
years. I remember 1 year he came and
he led,
Taraweeh with me also.
But he was a respectful young man.
A man that when I saw him, how
he would interact with his parents,
his father, Marhoom
How he was so respectful to him, how
he was so respectful to his mother.
And not only that, but
even when you look at this entire family,
for those of you who don't know,
I mean, Salim brother Salim Samdani
even
back in the day when new
were were coming into fruition, they were coming
to existence.
He and his his
his family, he had even a brother,
that who would come and teach Sunday school
He himself, brother Salim, was a very generous
man. He would always come and just pour
his heart out, give so much donations to
the masajid and so forth. And a few
years ago, he passed away.
And when he passed away,
it was at that time in my mind
that it's so difficult for the mother
that now it's only mother and son.
And now we found out today that even
Bilal passed away.
And this is a reminder, first of all,
for all the young brothers and young sisters.
I know we have this saying,
especially I say this myself to a lot
of the young brothers and young sisters,
that you have a long life ahead of
you.
But wallahi, only Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
knows. You know how many janazas we've had
here in the last 1 year for those
of us in the epic community? You know
how many janazas we've had of people,
you know, who have not even hit the
age of 20?
SubhanAllah.
We had just probably a week or two
weeks ago, we had a janazah
of a 19 year old young man.
The next day, we had the janazah of
a 90 year old man.
And now today, we're offering another janaza of
a young man who's in his twenties.
Brothers and sisters, when it comes to death,
it does not discriminate.
It does not look at age.
This is the law of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
So a reminder for each one of us,
don't feel like don't think
that we will even live till tomorrow.
Life is so unpredictable that there is no
guarantee
that even though you know that I am
coming to the end of my khutbah,
there's no guarantee that you will see the
end of this khutbah.
If life is so unpredictable,
then why have we forgotten about Allah Subhanahu
wa ta'ala?
Let this be a reminder, especially for our
young brothers and young sisters.
Come back to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Understand your purpose of life, you my young
brothers and young sisters.
This dunya, as Allah
says, it is just a play. It's all
fake.
There's only one thing that's real and that
is the akhirah.
Believing in Allah, living your life,
and following the deen of Rasulullah SAW Alaihi
Wasallam.
Bringing your life like on the seerah of
the prophet SAW Alaihi Wasallam. That is where
you will find happiness.
Running after people.
Running after,
you know, social media likes and followers,
wallahi, is not gonna get get you get
you the happiness that you're looking for. It's
not gonna bring that contentment in your life.
So my young brother and sisters, let this
be a wake up call. How often
Like think about this. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
can ask each one of us here that
how many lessons, how many signs
did I have to bring in front of
you
in order for you, in order for us
to understand
our purpose of life?
When we have
of babies,
of children,
of teenagers,
of people in their twenties. Is this not
a sign for all of us?
When will we wake up?
When will we understand our purpose of life?
This is why Allah
brings these reminders in front of us, so
that you and I, we can turn our
life around.
Yet despite, after seeing all these,
if we're not still turning our life around,
then there's a major problem in our heart.
There's a major problem with our spirituality,
and the state of our iman.
So, first of all, is that,
I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
that for young brother Bilal, may Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala grant him a place in Jannah.
And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make him
from the from the shabaab of Jannah.
We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that due
to the fact that he was a half
of the Quran, may Allah make that a
noor for him in his grave.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala magnify
every khair and every good that he has
done.
And the fact that he was so respectful
to his parents, he was such a calm
and humble man. May Allah reward him immensely
for exhibiting the character of the Prophet
And I ask Allah
that for the mother, sister Naila, may Allah
give her immense amount of patience.
For a mother to lose her husband and
to lose her only child,
it's very difficult. And going back to what
I was talking about earlier,
maintaining relationships.
One of the kind of relationships,
another type of relationship that we need to
maintain
is community relationships.
I urge the sisters, especially the sisters,
that please be there for sister Naila. Please
reach out to her. Please stay in contact
with her. I've had people who have called
me and tell me they have lost loved
ones, family members,
and they feel like that they don't wanna
come to the masjid anymore because they are
in the state of depression and anxiety
and so forth. And I tell everyone, come
back to the masjid. The masjid is where
you will find the community. The masjid is
where you will find home, and you will
find everyone around you. So this is why
I urge the sisters to please offer your
emotional support, offer your, any kind of support
that sister Naila needs, inshallah.
Please be there for her. This is what
will bring the sisterhood inshallah closer. I ask
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to grant her immense
amount of patience, and I ask Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala
that she he brings back in her life
the day where she will be reunited
with her husband and her son. Ameer Abu
Alamin in Jadar fardhus al-'ala in in the
companionship of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
Ameer Abu Alamin.
Straighten lines, fill in the gaps.
Brothers in the back two rooms, please come
inside the main hall. There's ample amount of
space.
Brothers in the back, 2 rooms, please make
sure the rows are straight and complete. Sisters,
please make sure the rows are straight and
complete.
If there's any space,
especially if there's any sisters in the multipurpose
hall, please come inside the main hall. There's
usually a lot of space in the two
side rooms.
Brothers in the lobby area, please make sure
the roads are straight and complete.
There's ample amount of space inside the lobby
area, so please come inside. There There should
be no one inside the multiple bushel.
And I request everyone that as soon as
we are done with,
please make some space so we can bring
the
forward.
I think everyone can make some space, please.
Okay. Hold the body for 15 minutes in
the Okay. Open for where we're waiting, so
we can have a go. Okay.
So
If I can ask the family members to
please come forward. I think brother suggest sometimes
in the back. If you can please come
forward.
This is the uncle.
Also, Matin brother Matin Samdani, if you're in
the back, please come forward. Any male,
figures from the family, if they can please
come forward.
And I, request the the brothers in the
front row to please give them some space.
Please remain on your lines. Often, when we
move off from our lines, then it becomes
very confusing for many people.
And then the family members come from the
front right here.
Just the family members just come to the
front here. Just as just the family members,
please. Nothing more.
Okay.
Inshallah,
the their family has requested
that,
their brother Bilal's,
teacher,
doctor Masood Ahmed,
Sheikh Masood Ahmed, he shall have these as.
He was his teacher who actually taught him
Quran and made him half of the Quran.
So he's gonna.
Declared
Salim was, one of my student memorized the
Quran and
was very humble, nice, good behavior
that my experience. May Allah
reward him, and
Allah
make his Quran intercede for him,
not for him only, but, for his father
who died and passed away before
and make the intercede for, also
his mom when she is alive.
May Allah give in her life. And,
they make this Quran also intercessor for him
on the day of judgment.
And I advise him her all especially
to
be patient
and ask I'll say
the
If you say
when you listen, when you
lost anyone of your family or especially the
young,
if you say
and you say
Allah
will ask you the angels what my servant
said
when you took his soul?
He said they they say my your your
worshiper said,
May Allah give you all of us the
patience and all of especially
for his mom, Insha'Allah.
And Allah,
grant him Jannah, Insha'Allah.
And grant his father, Jannah, Insha'Allah.
And in
future, grant his mom also, Jannah,
and put them all of them together, Jannah,
and all the family
put them again,
and Allah
reward you. You came here to
I forgot to tell you how you perform
the
is not a
nothing. Only
the 4th
After the first one,
you read either
or you read the
to land. And after the second one,
you say
the and
after the third one, you make the offer
the disease.
And then the 4th one, we make salaam
both side.
We're gonna we're still waiting for the hearse
to come.
So we're gonna ask everyone to please give
us some space, Inshallah. They
can pray their sunnah, Inshallah. In 5 minutes,
we're gonna take the the Nazha to the
back,
in the multiple bushel.
And once the hearse arrives,
then we're gonna,
move towards the graveyard.