Nadim Bashir – Giving Naseeha The Prophetic Way

AI: Summary ©
The importance of Islam and its use in difficult situations is discussed, emphasizing the need for proper advice and mindset. caution and caution against negative language and avoiding offense are also emphasized. The importance of being aware of one's own actions and embracing a growth mindset is also emphasized. The speakers stress the need for a gentle heart and letting it happen, while also acknowledging the importance of embracing a growth mindset. The ceasefire and the woman in their prison are also mentioned.
AI: Summary ©
And they lie in their graves, Amir Rabbal
Alameen.
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh I
bear witness that there is none worthy of
worship except Allah
Allah
Allah
Allah Allah is the greatest, Allah is the
greatest There is none worthy of worship except
Allah In
the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
All praise is due to Allah.
We praise Him and ask His help and
forgiveness.
We seek refuge in Allah from the evils
of our souls and from the evils of
our deeds.
Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him.
And whosoever He leads astray, none can guide
him.
And we bear witness that there is none
worthy of worship except Allah.
And we bear witness that Muhammad is His
servant and Messenger.
Allah Allah
I ask Allah that just as He has
gathered us here today May Allah gather us
along with our families In the companionship of
Rasulallah ﷺ and his Sahaba Ameen Brothers and
sisters, I want to start off this khutbah
By sharing a very beautiful hadith of the
Prophet ﷺ Though this hadith is extremely short
or this quote is very short But it
is so impactful and it is filled with
so much meaning The Prophet ﷺ, he says
الدين النصيحة Deen is nasiha Everything about our
deen is giving us advices On how to
live a life that is filled with peace
and comfort Our deen is a source of
advice that tells us what to do When
we find ourselves in difficult situations How to
psychologically, how to spiritually overcome your challenges Our
deen has given us that nasiha Our deen
as a total is a nasiha package for
all of us But when it comes to
relationships When it comes to the relationship of
a husband and a wife When it comes
to the relationship of a parent with children
When it comes to the relationship between siblings
When it comes to a relationship, when it
comes to family members We often find ourselves
in a position Where we give advices to
each other However, what we often find is
That those advices are not taken in a
positive manner And it could be for multiple
reasons Either, number one, the person who is
giving the advice Does not know how to
give the advice Or they don't approach the
advice with hikmah And hence they might be
giving the right advice But the right advice
falls on deaf ears Or the person who
is the recipient of the advice They are
not taking the advice in the proper way
Which then blocks them from receiving any kind
of advice In the long run So the
point is that how can we give proper
advices Because we will always find ourselves in
a position Where we are giving advice Or
we are receiving advice And today insha'Allah
in this khutbah I want to share with
you that when it comes to giving advice
Or receiving advice What should be the proper
mindset First of all is, Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala He says in the Qur'an
ادع إلى سبيل ربك بالحكمة والموعظة الحسنة وجادلهم
بالتي هي أحسن Allah says in the Qur
'an Invite to the way of Allah Meaning
that invite to Allah Whenever you give proper
advice You are giving advice because you are
a well-wisher For someone else So Allah
is saying that when you are in that
position You give it with wisdom بالحكمة والموعظة
الحسنة And with good instruction And the question
is that what is considered as hikmah What
is considered as good instruction This is what
I want to share with you today in
this khutbah So first of all is that
we learn that hikmah means That finding the
right time And the right approach And or
or the right approach When it comes to
giving advice Let me give you an example
Once Rasulullah ﷺ he was sitting in the
masjid And the sahaba radiyallahu anhu were sitting
with the Prophet ﷺ And you have to
understand That when the sahaba they would sit
with the Prophet ﷺ They would describe the
majlis The gathering of the Prophet ﷺ And
they would say that it would be a
moment Where our iman was at an all
-time high It's almost as if we can
see jannah in front of us Jahannam in
front of us This would be the state
of their spirituality Now once in the gathering
of the Prophet ﷺ There was a young
man sitting in the back And he says
Ya Rasulullah Give me the permission that I
go and I commit zina Now pause here
for a moment And ask yourself one simple
question Imagine sitting over here in a masjid
And a man stands up and he says
That I want to commit such and such
haram Or give me the permission to commit
such and such haram Wallahi based on our
current situation The way we are unfortunately Many
of us we would turn at this person
And say what kind of a ridiculous question
this is What kind of a person this
is And some of the sahaba may have
had the same notion But the Prophet ﷺ
He wanted to approach the situation with hikmah
See he could have also said What kind
of a ridiculous question is this But he
did not do that He called the man
to him And he says and he gently
explained him He used hikmah and wisdom in
this approach And he then said That if
you did this with some other woman Then
ask yourself Would you want someone to come
and do this with your mother With your
sister With your daughter Well then keep this
in mind That that woman that you will
commit zina with She is also the daughter
to someone else She might be the sister
to someone else At that time the man
said After that moment And the Prophet ﷺ
made dua for him of course But he
says that after that moment The most despicable
thing to me In my heart was zina
You see the Prophet ﷺ He let aside
his emotions And he took care of the
problem With hikmah and wisdom This is what
is required When it comes to giving advice
Also when it comes to giving advice Another
important instruction that we learn From the Prophet
ﷺ When we give advice Is that we
don't ever Correct someone Or we don't give
an advice That is directed to someone In
public This is something that often I see
people do In the public People are going
to admonish their kids I'm not saying you
cannot admonish your kids If your kids are
out of line Your kids are doing something
that is inappropriate You can admonish them But
to admonish them in a way That is
out of respect Because kids also have a
heart They don't like to be openly criticized
And even if they are criticized Criticized in
a constructive manner Not in a manner that
you are demeaning them And how often I
have seen Men saying things to their wife
In public That is very rude and disrespectful
I have seen women Saying things to their
husbands In public That are very rude and
disrespectful And this is something that we learn
From the Prophet ﷺ That whenever he would
correct someone Whenever he would give advice He
would keep it general also How often we
find in the seerah of the Prophet ﷺ
That someone would come A problem would be
presented To the Prophet ﷺ What would he
do?
He would not get on the minbar and
say This person brought me a problem Or
this person committed such and such sin And
that is why I am saying this No,
the Prophet ﷺ He would get on the
minbar And he would say That something has
been brought to my attention Or he would
say that some people Are doing such and
such But he would never humiliate that person
In public So this is why we need
to ask ourselves One simple question If we
are of the nature Of demeaning others Correcting
problems In public Which is If I was
doing something that is wrong Would we want
someone To come and correct us In public
And the answer would be most of the
times No, we would not want to be
corrected in public So that is why The
correct way of giving advice Or correcting a
mistake Is not to do it in public
But you do it behind closed doors If
you see someone doing something That is not
right Take them aside Give them some gentle
advice But take them to the side And
then you do that That is the correct
way And this is what we learn From
the Prophet ﷺ Another thing that we learn
From the Prophet ﷺ When it comes to
giving advice Is that often people start advices
With criticism And by the way You can
study even the books of leadership The laws
of leadership and so forth And you will
learn When you are in the house A
mother finds herself in a position As a
leader in the house Mother and father They
are leading the entire family Father has certain
roles Mother has certain roles They both are
in a position of leadership However at the
same time When you are correcting your children
Or when you are correcting anyone else For
that matter Imagine you are an employer You
have employees working underneath you When you are
giving advice You start off with something That
is positive In the books of leadership they
write That if you start off Any advice
In a positive manner Meaning that you are
praising them For something they have done That
is right Or you are positive in your
approach Then any advice that you give them
They will take it to heart And they
will make a sincere intention To correct their
mistakes But if you start in a critical
manner Then that advice Will fall on deaf
ears Even in the time of the Prophet
ﷺ There was a man By the name
of Abu Bakr Abu Bakr radiallahu ta'ala
'an And Abu Bakr radiallahu ta'ala'an
He came inside the masjid And he saw
that people Were in salatul jama'ah They
were in the state of ruku' Now as
we all know That when the imam stands
up From the ruku' position And he is
now in qiyam So what this man did
Abu Bakr radiallahu ta'ala'an Is that
in order to not miss the ruku' Inside
with the jama'ah He made ruku' from
the door Of the masjid He made ruku'
from the door Of the masjid And then
in the state of ruku' He just walked
And he joined the jama'ah Now picture
this in your mind For a moment Imagine
you are standing inside the masjid And you
see a man For the sake of not
missing the ruku' He made ruku' from the
masjid You will say what's wrong with this
man?
Okay The Prophet ﷺ was made aware of
this The Prophet ﷺ he called him And
he asked him Did you do this?
And he says yes indeed I did Ya
Rasulullah You know what the Prophet ﷺ Look
at the advice of the Prophet ﷺ He
wanted to give advice And tell him that
this is not the right thing to do
Be positive He said why did you do
this?
He said I do not want to miss
the ruku' Ya Rasulullah The Prophet ﷺ says
I admire your enthusiasm I can see that
you have The right intention in place You
see positive first Then the Prophet ﷺ came
with his advice But he says next time
Don't do it this way You see this
is what we need to do When it
comes to giving advice Let's be positive first
Who is receiving the advice Another thing Another
tip or something else that we learn From
the Prophet ﷺ When it comes to giving
advice Is to be respectful Do not use
words that are derogatory Do not use terms
That are culturally speaking In each one of
our cultures There are some certain words That
are considered as disrespectful And demeaning We should
not use any of those words When it
comes to giving advice Do not ever learn
this From the Prophet ﷺ Many of us
I know that especially the cultures overseas Many
times They use these kind of words They
use demeaning words And disrespectful words Culturally speaking
Because they feel that if I demean someone
They are going to feel That I need
to do better Whereas in this culture that
we live in If you disrespect someone If
you demean someone They are not going to
turn around And try to get better They
are going to feel insulted And that touches
their heart And that's going to be more
in their heart Than your advice So that
is why we learn also in the Qur
'an يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرُ قَوْمٌ
مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا
نِسَاءٌ مِّن نِسَاءٍ عَسَىٰ يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ There
is no place for mockery In our deen
There is no place for mockery In our
religion How often we do this But we
need to remind ourselves That Allah is telling
us to stay away from this And this
also applies When it comes to giving advice
So this is the next thing Another thing
that we also learn From the sunnah of
the Prophet ﷺ When it comes to giving
advice is That we should try to be
gentle As much as we can Yes, I
understand that sometimes Our kids can drive us
up the wall Sometimes our kids Because of
what they do It can crawl under our
skin And we get irritated and agitated about
it And we are sometimes annoyed by it
But the very first steps When it comes
to giving them advice Is that we try
to be gentle As much as we can
Allah says in the Qur'an And this
is a verse That we hear every single
Jummah khutbah يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ
وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا means That we
must be incredibly careful And we don't say
anything That can prompt a negative response This
is what قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا means If I'm gonna
go and give advice to someone And rather
than accepting my advice They're gonna go And
they're gonna turn towards violence And they're gonna
turn towards negativity That means that we're not
doing our job as an advisor Now, I
understand you may say But I may give
a proper advice But the person in front
may not be Accepting the advice correctly And
that is very true This happens many times
also But the person who's giving the advice
Needs to be very careful And use the
appropriate words This is why we also find
in the Qur'an When it comes to
Musa a.s What did Allah tell Musa
a.s When he was about to go
and face Fir'aun Fir'aun was not
just any tyrannical leader He was such an
arrogant person Such a person who claimed to
be Malik, Rabb, and Ilah He is the
only person mentioned in the Qur'an Who
was the enemy of Allah s.w.t
Who claimed to be all three He was
filled with so much arrogance But when Allah
s.w.t Sent Musa a.s To
go and bring him to Allah What did
Allah say to him?
He says Layyin means something that is Extremely
soft Be gentle in your approach If Allah
is telling Musa To go and talk to
a despicable person Like Fir'aun in a
gentle way Then how should you and I
Talk to our family members?
How should we give advice To our family
members Or anyone close to us This is
why it is extremely important That we are
gentle in our approach And there might be
times Let me make this also very clear
There might be times Where even the people
that we invest Our time and energy in
Sometimes our family members Sometimes our own kids
We give them advice over and over again
And they may let us down They may
let us down When Allah s.w.t
Instructs the Prophet s.a.w. In a
similar manner in the Qur'an What happened
in the Battle of Uhud?
The Sahaba r.a Were given a position
They were given a responsibility A position on
a certain mountain That did not move from
here The Sahaba r.a Did not fulfill
their responsibility In an adequate manner What happened
as a result?
The Prophet s.a.w. was injured In
the Battle of Uhud People like Mus'ab
bin Umair r.a People like Hamza r
.a And you have many other stories From
the Battle of Uhud What happened after the
Battle of Uhud?
Allah s.w.t He said to the
Prophet s.a.w. فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ
لِنْتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَضًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَنْ
فَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ That do always have mercy
in your heart Continue to work with them
فَعْفُوا عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ Continue
to give them advice Continue to consult with
them And not only that but Allah s
.w.t Tells the Prophet s.a.w.
That if your heart is harsh towards them
Then they will disperse from you Many times
we feel like our kids may have let
us down And we give them advice And
sometimes we feel like you know what I'm
not gonna give any more advice But have
a gentle heart If Allah is telling Rasulullah
s.a.w. to do this At a
time when he was physically injured They were
psychologically injured after the battle of Uhud But
Allah is telling the Prophet s.a.w.
to do this Then what do you think
Allah would tell us in that kind of
situation We also need to have a gentle
heart And work towards the right approach The
next thing we also learn from the Prophet
s.a.w. Is that we always try
to be patient We always try to be
forgiving And we never take anything that is
very very personal And subhanAllah we learn that
for example When it came to the Prophet
s.a.w. When he came and he
gave advices After advices Quran verse after Quran
verse To the Quraysh Did the Quraysh accept
the advice immediately Many of them did not
Many of them did But we learn that
after Fatah Makkah Many of them did accept
the advice So it takes time We cannot
expect that we give advice And they are
going to accept it immediately Because how often
we give advice And when we see that
the advice has not been taken And they
have not changed themselves overnight Then many times
we feel disrespected And we find in the
story of the Prophet s.a.w. Especially
with Tufail ibn Amr al-Dawsi r.a
He went, he was sent by the Prophet
s.a.w. He accepted Islam He went
back to his tribe He thought that he
was a leader Whenever he gives any advice
They will immediately do it They did not
accept his message immediately He came back to
the Prophet s.a.w. What did the
Prophet s.a.w. do?
Did he say that Ya Allah destroy Daws?
No, he says Oh Allah give guidance to
the tribe of Daws So you see when
it comes to giving advice We have to
be patient And we have to let it,
give it time For the advice to sink
in And that means that if we need
to give Tens and hundreds of advices Let
it be, because it does take time I
mean ask, let's ask all of ourselves one
simple question If Allah tells all of us
Aqeemus salat, atus zakat Aqeemus salat, atus zakat
And yet we see the majority of the
ummah Is not praying their salat Then what
does that tell us about ourselves?
That Allah is giving advices After so many
times, again and again Aqeemus salat, atus zakat
And yet we are not doing it Yet
when we give advice to others We expect
them to immediately implement It doesn't work like
that So this is why we need to
have the right approach When it comes to
giving advice And do not take anything personal
at all Even we find in the Prophet
s.a.w. When he approached a woman
Whose son just passed away And she's crying
at the grave The Prophet s.a.w.
comes to her and says Be patient What
did she do?
She says She turns to the Prophet s
.a.w. and says You have no idea
what I'm going through Did the Prophet s
.a.w. take that personally?
No, he left He left right away Later
on someone told her That you were being
disrespectful To the Prophet of Allah s.a
.w. Then she went to the Prophet s
.a.w. To apologize And that is when
the Prophet s.a.w. says الصبر عند
الصدمة الأولى The sabr is to be exercised
At the very beginning Not after exhausting And
after doing so many things And saying so
many things But then sabr should be exercised
at the very beginning The point is The
Prophet s.a.w. never took anything personally
When the man came and urinated inside the
masjid What did the Prophet s.a.w.
do?
Did he cause a ruckus in the masjid?
Did he cause a commotion inside the masjid?
No, he called that man He told the
Sahaba To go inside the masjid first Because
it will cause more problems If you interrupt
him While he is relieving himself Then the
Prophet s.a.w. called him and said
We don't do these kinds of things inside
the masjid Imagine a kid You see a
kid inside the masjid And he is kicking
a ball And there are so many times
You see kids coming in And they have
a basketball And they are trying to bounce
the ball And the masjid and so forth
What would be our approach?
If we see a man doing something That
is inappropriate inside the masjid And how he
handle it And if we see a child
playing Or doing something inside the masjid What
would be the right approach?
You see there is always a right way
of doing things And there is a wrong
way of doing things And this is what
we learn from the Prophet s.a.w.
That even when we want to give advice
Or correct a mistake There is a right
way to handle it And there is a
wrong way to handle it And finally the
last thing I would share is That when
it comes to accepting advice The Prophet s
.a.w. says something Very interesting in his
book He says that giving nasiha Is very
very easy But accepting advice Is extremely hard
And this is a reality with all of
us So the question is What can we
do In order to be on the positive
end Of receiving advice What we learn from
the Prophet s.a.w. And many other
of our ulema Is that number one Let's
cultivate a mindset of humility Let's try to
be humble People who are arrogant They feel
that I should never be giving advice Because
I will be the only one who gives
advice No There are times when a person
is doing something That is wrong And they
should be receiving advice And if they do
receive any kind of advice They should be
humble about it Number two is Focus on
the message Not the messenger Often we see
the person Who is giving the advice And
we don't focus on the message That is
being given So we need to focus on
the message Not the messenger And this is
why you find subhanallah In the makki surahs
Because whenever the Quraysh would hear about Allah
They would close their ears That is why
in the makki surahs You will find often
Allah does not mention his name too many
times Whereas in the madani surahs Often Allah
mentions his name That if he mentions his
name The Quraysh will not even want to
listen Because for them It was not about
the message It was the messenger If it
came from Allah The Rabb of Muhammad ﷺ
We don't want to hear it So this
is why we always focus on the message
Not the messenger And always, number three is
Always embrace a growth mindset When someone is
giving you advice Sometimes they do want you
to improve in your life And use that
as a way To improve later in our
life This is how we can accept advice
In the appropriate manner We ask Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala To make us from amongst
those Who will always give advice the correct
way The prophetic way And we ask Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala To always grant us
the right mindset When it comes to receiving
Any type of advice and nasiha بارك الله
لنا ولكم في القرآن العظيم ونفعنا وإياكم بات
وذكر الحكيم أستغفر الله لي ولكم وليسار المسلمين
فاستغفروا إنه هو الغفور الرحيم بسم الله الرحمن
الرحيم إن الحمد لله نحمده ونستعينه ونستغفره ونعوذ
بالله من شرور أنفسنا ومن سيئات عمارنا من
يهديه الله فلا منظل له ومن يظل فلا
هادي له ونشده لا إله إلا الله وحده
لا شريك له ونشده أن محمد نعبده ورسوله
أما بعد There were a few things I
want to mention at the end of the
khutbah but I've clearly, we're already finished with
time but just two things I want to
share with you based on the current things
that we are seeing on social media First
thing is that the ceasefire that many of
us we have read about online and we
have read on the news first of all
is we always as a Muslim we always
have an optimistic mind approach I know there's
always going to be a lot of pessimism
involved with these kind of news Is this
ceasefire?
What is the extent of this ceasefire?
And so forth If you ask me you're
asking the wrong person because only Allah knows
the true story behind all of this but
we do pray to Allah that he puts
barakah in this ceasefire and may Allah alleviate
the misery from our brothers and sisters in
Palestine Just yesterday I saw a clip how
true it is and so forth but someone
sent me a clip that trucks filled with
aid are now entering into Gaza Well Allah
knows if it's true or not but if
it's happening due to the ceasefire Alhamdulillah but
the point is that we always make dua
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that may
he help our brothers and sisters in Gaza
may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala alleviate their
miseries and of course we cannot bring they
cannot bring back their loved ones who have
passed on from this dunya but at the
same time we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
hold the zalimin accountable in this dunya and
the akhira Number two is something else that
we have been seeing online which we need
to take active an active kind of involvement
or do the best that we can in
our capacity and that is regarding the case
of Dr. Afia Siddiqi Let's not ignore the
situation there are things outside there there are
petitions that are being sent out and so
forth but the point is that we try
to do everything we can about this woman
Wallahi if you hear from her attorneys what
this woman is going through may Allah help
her may Allah help her may Allah help
this woman but the things that the inhumane
things are happening to her in the prison
Wallahi Allah will not let these zalimin go
may Allah destroy them in this dunya and
the akhira but the point is for our
sister Dr. Afia Siddiqi keep her in your
duas and anything that we can do no
whatever we can do we do because that's
the best that we can do in this
kind of situation there are our opportunities of
doing things for her are very limited they
are not even allowing clergy members to come
inside and to even talk to her at
this point right now this is how they
are treating her so we always keep her
in our duas and we always try to
do the best that whatever we can do
for her we will always try to do
for her may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
help her throughout this difficult time in her
life and we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala to bring all the zalimin to justice
may Allah bless you
may Allah
bless
you straight in
lines, fill in the gaps brothers in the
back please come inside brothers in the back
two rooms come inside the main hall brothers
in the back two rooms please make sure
the rows are straight and complete there is
an ample amount of space there should be
no one praying inside the Multiverse hall there
is ample amount of space inside the two
rooms and the main hall sisters please make
sure the rows are straight and complete if
there's any sisters ALLAHU
AKBAR, ALLAHU AKBAR, ALLAHU AKBAR, ALLAHU AKBAR ASH
-HADU AN LA ILAHA ILLA ALLAH, ASH-HADU
AN LA ILAHA ILLA ALLAH ASH-HADU ANNA
MUHAMMADAN RASULULLAH, ASH-HADU ANNA MUHAMMADAN RASULULLAH HAY
-YA ALA AL-SALAH, HAY-YA ALA AL
-SALAH, HAY-YA ALA AL-FALAH, HAY-YA
ALA AL-FALAH QAD QAMAT AL-SALAT, QAD
QAMAT AL-SALAH, ALLAHU AKBAR, ALLAHU AKBAR, LA
ILAHA ILLA ALLAH AL
-HAMDU LILLAHI RABBI AL-AAALAMIN AL-RAHMANI AL
-RAHIM MALIKI YAWMI AL-DIN IYYAKA NA'ABUDU
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