Nadim Bashir – Family Series – Taqwa, Love & Peace

			Bismillah
		

			Alhamdulillah yardie data all the municipalities and we use the mighty Kavita Shan gelila Padilla
here is the crematorium Eugenia good hand but he is because he was a me cathedra withdrawn Jimena
Cena into z alpha emoji with the ionic accent sorry okay sorry we should either Bobby or he will
either be ice so, one wants to do an era you know what the hula actually color movement Hello they
will want us to go
		

			to Google or sudo and
		

			for the volume load of our code
		

			machine what I mean by that will be even a ship or jeans
		

			or Haim
		

			what it Nicola for nothing all the way to the blog and all the recording is over he said a lot while
he was second for the Hadith how your own title company I need you I know how you look on the ID
okay, my father's why he said Allah Varney was
		

			respected by their sisters.
		

			The last time we gave a goodbye, it was in regards to family we started a series regarding family.
		

			What did Allah subhanaw taala talk about in the Quran regarding family? What do we find in the
prophetic traditions of us wa sallahu alayhi wa sallam regarding family, what things we can do to
create that love harmony, unity within the family, and what things we should refrain from that can
cause a decay within our within our families. Family, the assumption of family is something that we
generally don't talk about. Although we find many things in lives of problems. So long running was
setting up the things within the lines between the lines of the life of us was how long it was
sending them that says lie that he was an ultimate family man, he gives so many he fulfilled the
		

			rights of his family members. And we talked about this last time also. And it is fair that I go
through I have you know, just briefly go through that because it took place some time ago when I
spoke but and that was that in any marriage, there were three things aren't required. And inshallah
we'll be giving many more fun buzz about the subject of family. But we talked about that there were
three essentials. Number one is the bla bla bla is needed within every single family. And that means
that a person a person has the consciousness and the awareness of Allah behind them with it.
		

			And when we're talking about the law, when we talk about also when let me just let me take a step
back. And before I go any further regarding taqwa, I also want to mention the fact that these
hotbars regarding family, I am not directing this direct under this not directly to the husbands.
Like I remember that day, I gave the chutzpah and there was a person, a brother who came to me. And
he says that you are telling us that we're all criminals. We're not all criminals. Okay. I know. So
you are very good to your families. But this is just a general message for everyone. Something that
we can take from the life of us was a lot of it was unknown. And then he says that you should
		

			address everyone. I said, I'm not addressing everyone. And then Coincidentally, he was telling me
that I asked him, How many years have you been married for now? Actually, he told me I've been
married for 40 years. And I'm very happy. At that same time. Coincidentally, his wife had got into
the car and she closed the door. And then I asked him, How long has it really been? It's been 40
years, how many years do you feel like it is? He was 60 years. So it's something that every person
goes through, we all need to improve on ourselves. We all have deficiencies. We all have weaknesses.
So that's why that's one of the reasons that these kinds of subjects this kind of advice are very
		

			beneficial for everyone. So going back to what I was talking about, that means to have the
consciousness and the awareness of Allah subhanho wa taala. That means that in our marriage,
		

			everything that we should do always remember that Allah is watching us. And as we all know that the
way we would like to be treated and we should treat our spouse, likewise, I every single person, no
matter you know, male or female, we all love to be treated with respect, with dignity with honor,
likewise, we should do we should give the same to ourselves also.
		

			We talked about the concept of abundant love. Allah subhanho wa Taala talks about this in the Quran,
he says, Woman at a high level of human and physical, as wide as they have, which Allah made
		

			them within the marriage also has created Melinda and Allah talks about this concept of love
abundant love, even though many of us may consider the subject of love as a taboo.
		

			object. And we don't talk about this. But we learned from a spa sallallahu alayhi wa salam that
there were times where he went expressed that love to his own family, where he will grab his own
children, his own grandchildren, and He will kiss them out of out on their forehead, out of love. So
because there was a person that came to us last so long while he was somebody he says, I have many
grandchildren by don't kiss them. And the problem is all of a sudden he took his own grandchildren
and kiss them why? Because the profanity is I want to teach what is love. So it's not a taboo
subject, a lot of talks about loving the Quran. But the next word I also want to emphasize today
		

			upon is the word Allah says Rama which is mercy, that what is that thing is mercy. So when we talk
about mercy, mercy and Rama has has many meanings, and it has many levels. With regard to the
spouse, it means to exhibit mercy to his or her faults, and mistakes as well as protecting in
covering their shortcomings. In fact, the word Rama, when we say the word Rama, and we analyze this
word, we learned that this word comes in the word right, which is in reference to the womb of a
mother, or the womb of any of anything of any female. And in this womb, it is where this child
develops, this child grows without any kind of fear, it's a safe place for this child. Likewise,
		

			within our home, we need to create an atmosphere of Rama, where there is no fear. There is no no one
		

			hurting anyone else. No one is fearful of anyone else. I understand that sometimes you have to
create that sometimes, you know, the mother and the father. They play good cop and bad cop. Okay,
the mother, she you she usually plays the good cop. The father plays a bad cop. And they had to do
that right one is lenient. One One is lenient. When it saw, the other one has to be a little more
harsh. But at the same time, we never know we will. When we say the lack of the premises, we never
find that people were scared of the promise of love it was. But today nowadays, it is such that as
soon as the door opens everyone's rover come home late here. Especially if the father is right where
		

			he scraped, he yells a lot. He's very physical with his with his kids. People get ready scared the
family. As soon as that as soon as the Father enters that house, everyone is dead scared. Sometimes
mothers have that kind of reputation in that position, right more often as the Father. At the same
time, as soon as that person walks out their house.
		

			And handling is gone.
		

			The father says I'm going for business trip. Just take your time. No rush, come back whenever you
want. Okay, why? Because it's that, that terror that's inside the house, that fear that's inside the
house, probably. So a lot of it was something you never exhibited that kind of attitude. When people
came when he came back in the home, it was as if happiness has come back into our home. As I talked
about this last time that the family is such, Allah subhanaw taala says that the family should be a
coolness of eyes, meaning that when people are with their family, they receive that comfort, they're
able to find that comfort, that solace that harmony, that love that they have been missing out
		

			anywhere else, they can find that within the family. So this is why when we say the word Rama, when
we study this, in this, this has to be exhibited more within our families. Why because even when
people when two people get together when two people, they marry each other, in the very beginning,
they're new to each other. But as days go on as as days become weeks, weeks become months and months
become years a year, and the years become a one year becomes many years. Each one, their deficiency,
whether it's the husband or the wife, their deficiency, their weaknesses become manifest solely
gradually. And if the Rafah if the console, Rama does not exist within a family, then there could be
		

			a any marriage could slide into a baby struggle. It can slide into depression, chronic stress,
illness, physical illness, mental illness, it could turn into every single thing. So that's why it
is very important that Rama does exist within our families. But now at the same time, the question
that many people may have may ask Is that okay, fine. If if Rama does is there, if Allah says that
we have to exhibit that mercy within our families, well give me something that I can do to exhibit
that mercy. So like last time, like last time, I gave everyone a, b, c, d and e if you remember
that. Today, I want to give you again, a B, C, D and E and F also any B's
		

			D D F, I want everyone to exhibit this. And really one thing for those of those brothers and sisters
who are here right now who are not married, then this is something that you can make, you can make
this within part of your characteristics you can make this part of your personality, you can make
this part of your personality, he doesn't mean that is own for those who are married here. First
thing is that one thing that the Prophet saw a lot of it was something that he would always do,
which was a which was attention, he would always give his attention to his family. And when I say
attention, I don't mean just, you know, haphazard attention, he will give his undivided attention to
		

			anything he will do in his life. When we say that, I will promise a loved one who has said no, we
there's something amazing, which is very contrary to nowadays, especially because nowadays, the more
we say that the most productive person is the person who multitasks the person who can do 10 things
at one time, is the most productive person. But we learn that the person who is multitasking and
there's so much on their plate that they're not able to manage and they're trying to do so many
things at one time, the switching gears between one thing to the next thing to the next thing to the
next thing, there are very much prone to errors and mistakes, they are very prone to errors and
		

			mistakes. That's why when we look at the life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we learned
the complete opposite. Nowadays, once again, as I said earlier, that you do 10 things he's the most
or she's the most productive person. When we look at the life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, we find the absolute contrary, whenever he were praised a lot of his his attention was in
the salon. Whenever he would come back home. His his attention was all to his family. He was no one
can say that someone was more busy than them. This was a lot more it was Senator, today, we don't
give attention to our families, right? A father is sitting there or the mother is sitting there and
		

			the child is talking to them. And you know what they're doing? They're checking their Facebook
account. They have smartphones, they're checking their Facebook account.
		

			Did you hear me? I heard you. Yes. absolutely clear. You don't know what I say? I don't know. What
did I say? I don't know. We have when we give attention to one another, we have to give undivided
attention. When we sit at the dining table at night and we're having dinner to collectively as a
family, then cell phones should not be allowed near the dining table. Self you should not be allowed
whatsoever in the dining table, put yourself on to upstairs. When we sit together as a family we
need to give our undivided attention. And especially this is something that a lot of people we need
to take this very, very seriously, especially for those people who are very engaged in Majid
		

			activities, those who are involved with positions in the massages, those who have responsibilities,
as dalla activist maintains we're not able to give attention to our families, even when we have
taken care of our responsibility. Once again, when we look at the life of the prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, no one was more busier than the life of the prophet, then the Prophet alayhi
salam, yet, whenever he came back home, he never addressed anyone else, he will always sit at home,
he will give his undivided attention to his children. And likewise, today when I go home, when my
spouse needs to talk to me, that I should give him or her my undivided attention. If I'm very busy
		

			outside with leisure responsibilities, and a lot of people get upset, you know, you will find a lot
of spouses complaining, my husband is so much involved in the money, he doesn't have time for me.
And that could happen that that can happen very much. Likewise, my wife is so involved in so many
dollar activities in so many Dawa, you know, programs that she doesn't cook food at home, she
doesn't have time for me, she doesn't do this, she doesn't do that. That happens a lot also. But
then we have to create a system within our life, right? We have to create a process within our life,
we have to understand that we have a family and I have to give the mind my attention also. So then
		

			we have to create a schedule for ourselves also. And when I have time, and when in, in between. And
within my calendar when I have family time, when I go home, and I sit down with my family, I should
give them my undivided attention. Put your cell phones away, listen to your family, what they're
saying. And this happens a lot. This happens a lot. Even as a human so many times there were times
where I'm talking to my families. I'm outside with my relatives, my in laws, I get one phone call
regarding the budget, and I'm out for half an hour. And that needs to happen. But then I realized
that you cannot do that. And when you stress and when you look at the back of the book so long it
		

			was setting up it sheds a lot of light and answering a lot of questions. No one was more busier. No
one was a bigger dollar activist. There was less I love what he was. He was given the biggest
mission of any profit, yet he was able to fulfill his responsibility as being a profit. There was a
he was able to fulfill it his responsibility as being a family man, and he gave his attention to
him.
		

			his family members. And not only that, look at the life of the prophet having so many wives, there's
not a single report that we find that any wife of the Prophet saw a lot of it was setting up, that
we never got the attention from our husband the way he or we never the balsa wood, never whatever he
was sitting with us. Never when we find that he had divided attention, whenever he sat with us, He
gave us He gave us his undivided attention. We never find any complaint from any adult, my husband,
many of you alone, non Nigerian, which means is that the Prophet, he really displayed the importance
of giving attention to our family. So that's eight. The next one is B, which is to believe in your
		

			spouse, believe in your spouse, there are times when this the husband is he's at a low point in his
life. There are times when the wife is at a low point in her life. It is the responsibility of the
spouse or the other spouse, to lift them up to give them that confidence and to give them that that
energy and to really boost their confidence. When we look at the life of a sorcerer Allah Ali was
salam at a time when the Prophet Allah Islam was scared when the very first time when he had
received revelation. And at that time when he came home, and he was scared, he did not know what had
just happened. It was who it was literally the Allah Lionheart who gave that comfort to the pump. So
		

			love it was seven. She's the one who told the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that how could
this happen to you when you are such a trustworthy man, when you care about people's rights, you
think Allah would do something like this to you? She was the one who was actually there looking
after the matters as well. So Lombardi was set up. In fact, the problem so long while he was seven,
he says that Khadija gave me support when she showed me
		

			gi problems that alone while he was someone says that when everyone would everyone has left me, it
was the Vita who gave me the support when everyone did not trust me. And when no one trusted me, no,
and everyone believed me, it was the little yellow line hat, who trusted me in my affairs in my
matters. So that's why we see that the hola Monica, she gave that support to the sauce, a lot of
money was sent them. Likewise, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave that support to his own
family members also. So meaning that within our life, there are going to be ups and downs, it is a
responsibility on the other spouse, to bring that confidence and to believe in your spouse, and to
		

			have confidence in them. The next thing is see, so we did a B now you see, and that is to care for
one another, especially, you know, when we talk about caring for one another, I don't need there's
only caring but I also mean, look after the house also do do something which is out of the ordinary.
You know, a lot of times within our culture and where we come from, there's a general perception
that the wife is in charge of the house. So the husband will come home, he will take off his
clothes, throw it, you know, a t shirt in his corner, his shirt in another corner, he has another
corner, you know, come you know, he's reckless, he's reckless, he comes home, he doesn't clean up
		

			after himself. He doesn't do anything. You know, a small turn is both areas particularly you don't
fix this up, okay? Do this do that. I don't take care of this. He's like a dictator at home.
Literally, he's like the dictator at home. He doesn't take care of anything. He doesn't help out.
When we look at the life of a spouse or whatever it was set up we find the country when he came
home. Now imagine, look at it. Look, imagine the house or muscles a lot of it was it was right next
to the other Jana, for those of you who have been to Medina, you know exactly what I'm talking
about. His house was extremely small, extremely small. And his end isodiol novomind. As she says
		

			that when he would come home, he was the one who will milk the goats. It was on us. It was on the
slaves. It was not the servants we had in the house. It was HEDIS, who was the one wanting to stand
up. And whenever he would have come home, he will help out. He would have care for what's going on
inside the house. That's why when even as for the most part, as I said earlier, that for the most
part, husbands really believe that the wife has to take care of everything. She said, Why do you not
make food? Why did you not do this? Why didn't I do that? If she is sick, you have to care for her.
If she's expecting the child, then the father has to really take his word to the next level. He has
		

			to not only work outside to earn money, but when he has to come home he's gonna have to do things
which he apparently does not do. You have to do that. We learn how to we have learned how to do
that. If I don't know how to wash the dishes, learn how to wash the dishes. If I don't know how to
use a vacuum, my God first of all, okay, it's only a vacuum. It's not rocket science. If you don't
know how to use the vacuum, learn how to use a vacuum learn how to clean up the children make a
mess. Do not expect her to do
		

			Don't expect your house especially if you have raised them children do not expect your house to be
Tip Top clean every single time you come home if that's the way you were raised learn how to change
your standards especially when it comes to young children. They mess up the house in a matter of no
time they struck quicker than a tornado you go to one room you clean them you come out they mess up
the room again live with it live with their children that's why he said there were children they
will mess up do not expect that the house we do not do not expect your demands to be met all the
time and learn how to clean up learn how to kit learn how to care for another minute or so we're
		

			happy to give us the ability to show that in the next part there are just a few more points I want
to make but it alone and I will I'll leave when I find out what yeah from last hockey stuff Allah
How do you what happened when he said First off you know
		

			I'm delighted I'm gonna start even when I stopped feeling when I was at midnight you should have
just seen I mean you have
		

			a window in front of you that
		

			wants to bring them home and then I'll do what I'll do to my bar on the bottom of the bottle with
the ILF and Ron Medina wants to call me by the name Michelle property industry lie Rahman Rahim in
no law when I started when I began you under the sun while he was in the schema,
		

			alongside yada yada and
		

			for him or for him in
		

			organic Allah 100 Kilometer fellow brought him on, he brought him in to come in with you. Before I
go any further ahead, please come forward. Please come forward. Please make space for those who are
sending the back.
		

			So we did ABC now it's D what is the soundboard decency. In other words, respect for one another,
like I said earlier, like the way we will be, we would like to be treated with love and respect. We
treat others with decency and respect within our own homes. Parmesan Allahu alayhi wa sallam know
when we talked about his club and properly Allah says in the Quran, while INEC Allah, Allah in His
character was the highest at the highest degree. When we look at it, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam, when he says in the Hadith, he says how you're gonna pay the company, and the the best
amongst you is the one who is the best tool towards your family. And then he says, What a horrible,
		

			horrible, the only, and I'm the best to my family. If I want to be considered the best, I have to
treat my my family, my kids, my spouse with respect, do not do not answer to one another do not be
disrespectful, do not be such that people don't want to communicate with you in the house. There are
some there are many cases where either is the mother or the father that they have sort of built a
reputation that no one was talking to them in the house, and no one was talking to them in the house
never become like that. The next thing is that what we learned from the lack of the practice of law
it was setting up which is the next, which is the next letter, which is E is easygoing the Prophet
		

			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was absolutely easygoing, he was very, very flexible. And this is
something that's very, very important, because when two people discover each other's faults,
deficiencies, that if flexibility is not part of the equation, in any marriage, then life does
become difficult, it becomes very difficult to maintain that relationship, to learn about one
another, be flexible. I'm not saying just let things go. If you see something wrong in the house,
I'm not saying to just let that go that there's two different things. But at the same time, a person
needs to be more flexible. Always remember, you're not the person, you're not living on your own.
		

			Again, you're not Ambassador anymore, you're living with another person, and that other person is
going to come with their baggage also, that person is going to come with their own baggage, they're
going to come with their own habits and their attitude and so forth, learn how to be flexible within
any marriage. And this is who has lost a lot of it was selling once he was very flexible, people
could approach him, he was very easygoing, something that we have to be, we have to we have to this
characteristic we have to instill within our life. The last thing which is F is forgiving. The
problem is a lot of it was set up. He was very forgiving. You know, a lot of times within a family
		

			this happens that things as I said earlier, there's gonna be ups and downs at any marriage. Is there
always going to be ups and downs in any marriage. But it is that love is that mercy is that Rama
that keeps that marriage sustained. Now, when there are ups and downs, we have to learn how to
forgive and forget, not only forgive, but forget also, because why? Because we remember those
things. And as long as it sits there in our mind, and it bothers us over and over again. We will
never get over it. So what happens is that something happens within the family. They say okay, you
know what, I forgive you, you forgive me forgive and forget 10 years later, 10 years later, Oh, do
		

			you remember may 16 2014? You said this is
		

			10 years later, maybe 2024. And people have not forgotten about it. This happens a lot within a lot
of families. Because why? Because we have not built the ability to forgive. We have an you know,
remember one thing, if you remember it very precisely, and you're still upset about it, that means
that that does not come under the definition of forgiving. Forgiving means that you just let it go.
That's why Allah subhanho wa taala. He says in the Quran, the best of those people, those who will
receive Jana is not the one who just swallows everyone who does, you know, they forgive, he says,
when it can be in the way that when I've been out in us, those will swallow the anger. And this word
		

			cowardly means that you swallow something in such a way that the effects are not manifest on your on
your face, meaning that if someone makes you so angry, but you swallow that you're so angry, but you
swallow that Abraham in such a way that no one can tell you that you just became angry. That is when
that is what the is talking about when he says when Allah says when it causes men to rain, and then
he said what I feed on him nuts. When you forgive this word, it also refers to forgiving not just to
encounter forgiving, but forgiving where you forget, it is no longer in your in your in your mind is
no longer in your heart. Yes, there are times there are things that we will remember, but never hold
		

			that person accountable regarding those things. So that's why there's a few things that we can keep
in mind. Number one, A is for attention. B is for to believe in one another cease to care for one
another D is for decency. In other words, other for respect. E is for easygoing and F is forgiving.
These are all things that the Prophet saw love it was something he exhibited in his life. This is
how mercy is comes into within a family. This is how mercy is exhibited within a family villa. So
hyung gave all of us ability to act upon what's been said of her May Allah subhanaw craved that love
and harmony in that peace within our families, no loss of honoring our families together any
		

			founding that has been given