Nadim Bashir – Family Series

			Al Hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah Ali that y'all didn't suffer this Amin siematic Aveda shine Jolina
Padilla fear and victim of it immediately Gohan for him is because either in universalism because
he's withdrawn Jamila tonight Jessie la time given to a young son said he said Michelle de la
COVID-19 email either via ISIS will want what is no law in the law why they are eager to open Hello
they will want us to come home and then I wouldn't worry about
		

			a lot about it and what I love the gene what profile I mean
		

			shame on it was team this will not work for him when the DNF or do not open I mean as far as you
know I was looking at the map or what are you in which are on EMA local along with either FEMA
farming AHA Walla wa Jai electron beam will usually come second watch on 11 Min julu did and I'm
gonna use that as the fifth funada Yo Milan econ way on a formative moment as well. We have our
Valley watch it a third than one but they are on either end so the whole world without it. But even
as doublehanded law or hybrid hottie had you humbly said the law more on he was was shot on wanting
to have more than the middle of Allah, rather than for now.
		

			I'm restricted brothers and sisters.
		

			If you remember going back several months,
		

			I had given many foot buzz on one topic highlighting one topic. And that was a topic of shared one.
		

			People benefited from it tremendously wide because people knew what they were expecting in the
football, they were looking forward towards the to the football. Inshallah starting today, I do want
to start another series, which is something that is we need to really discuss about something that
is very, very important, something that has been discussed, mentioned in the Quran, emphatically it
has been mentioned extensively in the Quran. And more than the Quran, something that has been
mentioned and highlighted in the Sierra and divine. And in the biography of Muhammad, Allah who lost
the war while he was selling them. And that is anything and everything surrounding the topic of
		

			family. And why because we live in a world that may we don't know the value of family. We have
teenagers today who don't know the value of family. This is the society that we live in. But I've
come across many youngsters that they understand the value of family, when family is taken away from
them, when they have to depart from their family, when they have to separate themselves and between
them in their family. You asked me demonstrate today or a person who has to leave his hometown,
where he was living with where he was living in with his family. Every single day he will see his
parents he will see his siblings, he will see you know, he will see the town and the people in his
		

			town every single day. And he never He never took it. He never He never took it bring importantly,
never gave it a lot of value. As soon as that person his job is transferred somewhere else. Or this
youngster has to go to another university to study somewhere else. Or this child, this youngster he
gets a job in another in another state. And then you breathe a youngster back when you read that
person back and you ask them if there's one thing that you miss, what is that and they will tell you
this family because it is impossible, that it is impossible that a human can survive without a
family. When we see today, today, and when we look at our situation today, taking people away from
		

			other people is a means of punishment. When you look at the concept of solitary confinement, what
exactly is solitary confinement? When people are locked up in a cell 10 by 10, and they have been
disconnected from everyone in the entire world. What is that about? That is a form of torture. Why?
Because you are not in contact with anyone that crud that drives a human being crazy. When we sit
down with our children, mainly when we talk to our children and when we deal with our children. What
do we do is a source of punishment. It's a means of punishment. What do we do and a lot of cases we
told that now you are going to be separated from everyone. You are grounded you are you are going to
		

			stay in your room disconnected from everyone in the family. Not only that, who is now named as
there's a new term or new concept which a new concept was called Time Out
		

			Will you put the kids into a small corner timeout no playing no playing with any any children. That
is a means of punishment why? But it is a consequences. It is a means of consequences, something
that we need to teach our children and a means of, you know, refining their behavior. But we see
that it is important by giving these examples I'm trying to, I'm trying to stress upon the point
that every human needs the interaction of another human being. That is, that is number one. Number
two is that when we look at the Quran, Allah subhanho wa taala, he talks about the family, he says,
What is the purpose of the family? He says, the idea when the DNA of
		

			a husband and as well as
		

			the idea that this idea is part of many ideas, where Allah subhanho wa taala, he points out, and he
highlights the characteristics of the true believers, that what is their characteristics. And in all
of these, it says that one of the signs of these people these true believers is that they save to
Allah and they pray to Allah that Oh Allah, You grant us a family. That will be a means of the
coolness of our eyes. And I'm sure that for those of you who will have attended these different
Quranic programs, you are now familiar that what is the meaning of Kurata mining, the coolness of
the eyes, it was a word or phrase that was used amongst the hours after they would be after they
		

			would experience a sandstorm whenever they were able to seek refuge from a sandstorm and they were
able to go to a place where they can protect themselves, they will use the phrase when their term
overthrow, amen. Likewise, when we see the story of icea, the wife of fair own and fair on himself,
when she sees what their own has done, what orders he has, he has given to his army and what they
have done, they have taken the lives of innocent children. When she sees Mousavi son in a basket,
what was the first thing that came out of her mouth? Alright, Ryan, and why? Because hopefully this
child will bring that comfort, and it will eliminate that pain. Allah subhanaw taala is using that
		

			same phrase in the aisle regarding family, why Allah is telling us that the true purpose of a family
is that a family should bring comfort to a person.
		

			Family should bring happiness to a person, it is a place where people can share their beliefs, their
ideas, where people can enjoy the company of others, where people can confine it. Today with people
they tell their secrets to others regard besides our family, there are things are going on in their
life, in a person's life, that the friends will know, the entire Facebook world would know and the
Twitter world would know by their own family members would not know.
		

			So where is that today? Allah says that the family should be should be such that whenever we need to
confine someone, it should be only only the family. But today what it has become the reality is that
when we come home, when people come home, they face their most difficulty of the day at home, they
don't want to come back home, they come back home. And by just looking at this, the doors that the
doors does and looking at their door, they become immediately and instantly depressed. Why? Because
I have to go back home, I have to meet and face a spouse, I have to face my children and my children
are such and such, my spouse is such and such. So let us not shy away from the fact that while that
		

			there are so many people in our own community that we like to put this problem under the rug, we
like to we like to sort of ignore the problem that there is a family issue within our community. We
live in a society right now there are two things that factor to this. First of all, is the society
that we live in. Let's I mean, let's be frank about it. We live in a society that going back through
the years this is was a this was a profoundly society, a society that would push forward the values
of family that would promote family values would push forward that how to stay connected with each
other. Our out
		

			everywhere you will see the environment was such but now 30 years later, this this same society
which was pushing forward founding values, has become an anti family society has
		

			Become an anti feminist society. It is a sad isn't it is a society that is increasingly teaching us
in morality is making our kids disrespectful. It is teaching our spouses that you don't have to
answer to anyone. You are not responsible to anyone now teaching our spouses, but teaching also our
children that you don't have to answer to anyone, you're free to do what you want to do.
		

			And you don't and you there is no accountability. When your spouse says something to you, there is a
solution to all your problems. If your kids have that, if you're if you your mom, and you and your
children have a problem, the solution to that also, and what does that solution simply walk away.
That is what society teaches us today. That's what society teaches us today. So first of all, is
that society plays a big role in our family problems. But at the same time, we cannot, we cannot put
the blame on the society, the parents in the family need to take it upon themselves, to make good in
place. Such activities, such environment and atmosphere within the family that will keep the hearts
		

			reunited, that will keep the peace within the family. And I once again, I want to point this out
that within our own community, believe it or not,
		

			believe it or not, I get phone calls over and over again. I get phone calls over and over again.
Let's not let's forget about people who don't come to Mizzou. Let's forget about people who don't
come to the masjid. We're talking about people who do come to the masjid,
		

			who come to the masjid every single day. There are major problems within their own family also. And
they don't want to ever address it.
		

			I had a phone call this past week, a sister calls me. And this is how she starts her conversation
that she says, Please save me from my husband.
		

			And she was crying on the phone.
		

			So first of all, I cannot I cannot keep the conversation going on. Because I had to I had to get to
another call. But then I call her back right away. And once again, she starts off her conversation,
please save me from my husband. This is how she started. This is a problem that is going on with our
community. And I know some of you might be wondering that why am I talking about this right now is
because I've been hearing this for two years. Since if you're if you're wondering how long I've been
here with this organization, it's been approximately almost pretty much two years.
		

			And for two years, I hear this over and over again. Something that I should you know, he shared with
me with edit from other Imams that within every single community, there's not only a public epic,
don't misunderstand me, this is a poem around across all he massages across all the Muslim
communities, people who are coming to the masjid every single day there are major party within their
own family. It is only these followers only are revealed once you sit down with a person and once
that person, he has no room to turn, he has no place to turn. That is when they come to the Imam and
they unload the entire burden of so many years upon the IMA. So what happens is that, first of all,
		

			is that society plays a huge role now in the data, how we raise our children that are our children,
and what schools are going up and remember when they go to school, what they hear we are not in
control of that. Even if they go to the song school, sorry to say, but even if they go to some
people, sometimes who they come in contact with who they talk to that's out of our control. But this
is important within our society. That's a movement. So society plays a huge role in all this. But
there's another problem also. And that is that when you look at our society that we live in, there's
something that we learn, and that is that if a person is going through a problem in life, let's just
		

			say there's a person to the person who is addicted to drugs, I'm just saying. So what did they have
to do is that they have to go through rehab. We all know that right? But in order to go through
rehab, what's the very first thing that they have to realize? And why do you you know, if you ever
go to a rehabilitation center, and you will see that everyone sits in a group and they you know,
they just discuss it's like a discussion group. And there's one person who's a counselor, and
they're talking to all these individuals who are there where they're seeking therapy. And so she he
or she will ask that you will say something about yourself, and then what what do they do? They're
		

			those people who are there who have been admitted for rehab work, what do they do there? They sit
there and they confess to their mistakes, that I did this and I did this and I did this. Why is
that? Why is that the first step to read through rehab? Because in order to solve any problem, in
order to serve any problem, you first have to know that there is a problem.
		

			You first have to realize that there is a problem. Now, if we sit here and we say that I don't have
a problem, I don't have a problem, I don't have a problem. Even though there is a problem that that
does exist, you will never we will never try to solve that problem. But as soon as we realize that,
yes, there is a problem within my family. And you know what, let me let me be frank about this.
Also.
		

			The reason why we don't even want to address it is because not that so that what I will think, with
my family will think it comes down to that if I go for therapy, if I go to a counselor, and someone
from the masjid sees me, that will will they think about me, so we're ready to put ourselves
destroyed our families destroyed the unity within our families, we don't want to go and seek our
help. Why? Just because do shake up. You don't need that our culture and our society, we can be
fierce after so much.
		

			We always we always wondering that before they say about us. When there's a program that take place
that takes place in a monster that talks about the importance of bringing our most of guys together,
it was the very first thing someone says, There are two different kinds of people that time, there
are some who say that you know what I don't have a problem with within my family, and don't need to
attend it. First of all, to those who say, who have that kind of perception, you need to still
attend that program. Why? Because there's always something that you can learn. We don't know the
entire life of us plus Allah Almighty will send us if we go to a program and we learn only one thing
		

			new, that program has been beneficial for us. We don't have to take, we don't have to walk away with
10 new information items. If we walk away with something new that we have learned even one thing
that that makes me a better father, a better husband, a better wife, a better sister, a better
mother, that program is for me, that is a program that I have to attend.
		

			And do not worry about others. Do not worry about others, I can speak only from a busy point of view
from a busy culture doesn't come from busy culture. But we worry so much about others.
		

			Let them go, who cares about that, you have to worry about your family, you have to be worried about
your kids, you have to worry about keeping that unity within your family. Just yesterday, there was
a brother who told me that he and his wife and his child they live in one house like all three or
four strangers, husband comes whenever he wants. He does whatever he wants, he eats he creates, you
know, he prepares his own food he eats, why she comes she doesn't save three people living under one
roof. And they're living like strangers. This is this. This is a reality respectability sisters.
		

			And so this is, this is why this is why I knew I wanted to start, I give it a lot of thought. And I
thought that you know what we need to start these clickbait series to teach us how to become a
better person. For those of you who have attended mine the conflict because there's something that I
always mentioned, I have no problem in repeating this. And I will say this right now also, every man
should say the life of Missoula law morning, he was setting them to learn how to become a better
father, a better husband, a better brother, and a better member for their community, every sister
should study the life of the Almohads. And when we need our mother, our believing mothers, they
		

			should stay in their life to learn how to become the best mother and the ideal mother, the ideal
wife, for their husband. So this is something that we all have to work upon, let us not put this
poem under the rug anymore, it is something that we are facing. And guess what the more we go into
time, the more time to lapses problems are going to occur. Children are going to want more freedom.
Their core believes their believes your ideas are going to change as a family, how do we how do we
you know, how do we adapt to that? How do we when these kinds of things come to us? How do we react?
What is our reaction? And what do we do after that is this requires education, we cannot just simply
		

			put it under a rug. We have found within our community that for example, what is the role of a woman
within the family? What is the role of a woman within the family? It is far more than what our
culture teaches us I can tell you that we're lucky. What our culture teaches us. I'm gonna say this
ring real honest, is that our culture has made our women slaves. Our culture has made our women and
nothing but slaves. They are free. They have confidence they have so much weight on their life but
		

			When they the day they get married, they get chained to a kitchen. They merely get chained to a
kitchen. They have to serve the entire family. You have to serve the she has to serve her husband.
She has to serve the founding of the husband and she is nothing but a slave. She has not even been a
slave at the same time. The the the parents of the boy is demanding that I want grandchildren I want
grandchildren, I want to grandchildren. How do you put all that together? It is impossible in the
gloom upon a woman but at the same time I did cases there was a brother who came into my office also
he says that my wife is educated she makes more money than me. She She makes me now she doesn't make
		

			me sleep on the bed. She has said that I cannot sleep on the bed because I don't make any money
because I don't have a job. She said that I have to sleep in the closet. This is going on Yes.
within our own community. These things have to be addressed and I'm gonna be frank about it because
we are never we never come to these things we never address these things. May Allah subhanho wa
Taala bring the peace and the happiness within the family may Allah subhanaw taala bring the baraka
within our family
		

			that along with that I'm gonna come I'll leave when I find out when he got on with it afterwards
because again was thoughtful Allah Helene welcome we're excited newsmen First off you know in
		

			and hungry guy a candlelight from the homeless time when I started when I was when I was trying to
snap me
		

			or my children for their hair. The law wants to know Now you'd think well why don't I share my story
with a doctor who would also know how my body has gone a lot about what the highlight people imagine
but for anybody who's been going to Chicago or even in Oklahoma like that when you say you're in
Edina Alamo so he was sitting with us NEMA alongside yada yada I
		

			want you whatever you call him in the company the mojito Valley, Karla Mohammed, while I
		

			wonder how you draw him in like having the Majeed please come forward, Inshallah, please come
forward. The last thing I want to mention and continue my football on is that we talk about when I'm
talking about family overall, let's sort of reflect on life as well. So Lombardi was promised so
long while he was something he migrated to Medina, and the atmosphere that he created over there was
that he was able to buy that from to some from two orphaned children. And he was able to establish
much of the never wait,
		

			the emergence of Rasulullah sallallahu ala he was
		

			it started off small for those of you have been there members of behind keep on taking us for those
who have never been there may Allah Subhan take you there amazing place when you go there and you
see what goes on and it sort of it you know, you sort of like you have an idea of what took place
where if you go back way history way back into the history of Medina, the one thing that probably
said a lot of it was something that you did was that while he created images and demoing the proper
cell wall, it was somebody created a society around that Majid also praised society around the
masjid and widen the problem or they did some you do that because he knew that everyone needs to be
		

			connected with wisdom as as long as people are connected with the masjid Inshallah, inshallah A day
will come that something will hit them Inshallah, that they will if they're doing any haram, they
will refrain from that haram. It is important that families are connected with the masjid and this
and this something else that we need to learn is that even though even after the lighthouse was a
lot more it was such as Brazil that we began to expand from all different from all the different
corners. The people in the community were involved in the expansion and moving and pushing much of
the movie to the next level. As the demands came forward. The people they got together and they
		

			helped push much of them away to the next level at that time. Today, also we as a community, the
best way to keep the unity within our families, and to keep our families you know, in to keep them
together in a loving manner. The best way or the best place to bring our families and to spend time
with them is the masjid to come collectively. Today when we talk about going to the measure for
Salah we think about it as a burden, let's go for Assad and come back make come make the concept of
course a lot and event something that we look forward to. If a family is out of a family is out you
know take care of going somewhere, then put a lot of energy on your in your phone. And as soon as
		

			the title of Salon approaches the entire family should try to come together, perform some art
together and then go back home or go wherever, wherever else. They may which by the month coming to
a budget is something that you know the budget is something that we should use to bring our families
together.
		

			One thing I want to mention is that as you all know, I'm sure all of you have been hearing is that
at humbler, we have, we are we are progressing forward and we are moving the ball forward. And
hamdulillah as you can see that around here our in our own community, we have on the left we have
complete different different phases of the upcoming construction first of all was the called the
side that I felt was a parking lot. And I have the love for the personal lives of Ohio with Kahala,
		

			these two phases have been completed, now we come to the main part, you know, there's always an
appetizer, and then you have the full course main, you know, then becomes the main menu. This is
what it was. However, we haven't finished the appetizers. Now we're coming to the main course. So
that is where the entire community needs to come together and push forward and trying to take this
budget to the next level. As I said earlier, for the people living around money in the movie, people
who are living in Medina, they want to contribute and they push the budget level into the next
level. Likewise, here also we need the entire community to get serious about it to remain serious,
		

			remain focused, and try to push each other to push to make our Masjid witches Inshallah, and we have
a fundraiser next week, Inshallah, I want all of you to take this upon yourself, try to invite more
and more people. We have this facility that we have right now, but this is where we want to be. This
is not where you want to be. This is not where we want to stay. We've already been here a few years,
but that is where we want to go. So I will call you take it upon yourselves and don't think it don't
not make it that where I'm doing something for the Masjid. You're sort of take this upon yourself
that I'm doing this for myself. What would you do for yourself? We all we know we go we push
		

			ourselves to the limit when it comes to something that is associated with us. So why do we need to
make this budget our budget shift? He hasn't been this was here last night, he was talking about
this that is not upon an individual, the entire community needs to come together and they need to
push push this forward. If there's only one person, if we put this up on one person, we will never
be able to reach and fulfill our objective. When we look at everything, anything that we see that
succeeds. There's always a team or a community behind it. I know a lot of you understand because a
lot of you love football. But when we talk about football in itself, how does a team win? How does a
		

			team win? The Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl, how did they win the Super Bowl? Because it was a
team effort. If there was one person who said like you know what, I'm going to help this team win
and everyone just slacked off that team would have never won. Likewise, entire community needs to
come together an entire team needs to come together to push forward and trying to reach out and try
to reach our objective trajectories upon yourself and spread the flyers spread the word to others in
the communities. May Allah subhanaw taala all of us ability to act upon what has been said and what
has been heard along with someone who's singing along masala does not want to sneak up on you McCann
		

			off