Nadim Bashir – Conflict Resolution In Islam

Nadim Bashir
AI: Summary ©
The importance of history and understanding rights in relationships is emphasized, along with the need to overcome obstacles and challenges. The speaker discusses the importance of reconciling conflicts and issues in one's life, particularly in relationships. The need for cooperation in resolving conflicts is emphasized, along with the importance of going back to values and values in one's church. A representative from a church emphasizes the need for everyone to apply the teachings of the church to their daily lives and promotes a free CPR training fundraising event.
AI: Transcript ©
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As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

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As

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-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

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I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger

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of Allah.

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Come to Prayer Come to Prayer

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I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that

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just as he has gathered us here today

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on this day of Jum'ah, may Allah

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subhanahu wa ta'ala gather us along with

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our families and gather us for Daws al

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-A'la in the companionship of Rasulallah ﷺ

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and his Sahaba, Amir al-Alamin.

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Brothers and sisters, I just recited a verse

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of the Qur'an, the very first verse

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of Surah An-Nisa.

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, He talks about

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relationships.

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He talks about the fact that we all,

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no matter what different cultures and different ethnicities

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we come from, we all come from one

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mother and one father, Adam ﷺ and Hawa

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ﷺ.

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And then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says

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that through these two people, وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا

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كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala populated

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the earth with men and women.

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When it comes to people, brothers and sisters,

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it is inevitable that we are going to

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have relationships with other people.

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There is a relationship between a husband and

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a wife, a relationship between a parent and

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their children, a relationship between siblings, a relationship

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between cousins and extended family members.

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But it is also very common that when

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it comes to relationships, there is bound to

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be some certain challenges.

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In this day and age, while people can

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say that they have financial challenges and other

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challenges, one of the greatest challenges and one

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of the most difficult things to manage in

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our day-to-day life is our relationships.

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Each one of us, we have some kind

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of issue going on within our family.

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There is not a single person who can

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say very confidently that there are absolutely no

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challenges when it comes to the relationship either

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with my spouse or my children or my

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extended family members or my parents and the

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list goes on.

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And this is why when Rasulullah ﷺ, when

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he was sent as a prophet, though he

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taught monotheism, though he was focused on establishing

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the message of Tawheed, one of the very

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first things that we see the Prophet ﷺ

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establishing was the rights of people.

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He saw that the orphans were mistreated in

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the society, so he taught the people the

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rights of the orphans.

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He saw that women were mistreated in society,

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he talked about their rights.

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He saw that how girls were being buried

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alive and he eradicated those kind of practices

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and he was able to establish Islam.

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Not only that, but when the Prophet ﷺ

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even went to Medina, there he was able

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to again re-emphasize the rights of every

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single person.

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When the Prophet ﷺ talked about the rights

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of the husband, he talked about the rights

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of the wife.

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When he talked about the rights of the

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parents, he talked about the rights of the

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children.

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There was no person, there was no segment

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of the community that could say that Islam

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did not give me my rights.

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Even to the point that when slavery did

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exist in the time of the Prophet ﷺ,

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even they had their own rights.

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Even the Prophet ﷺ taught the community, taught

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his society that how to treat these people.

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When it came to the agreement, the Medina

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Charter, the agreement between the Muslims and the

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existing communities in Medina, the Prophet ﷺ he

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was able to establish rights for them too.

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So the point is that rights do exist

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for everyone.

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At the same time, as I said earlier,

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but when people come together, there's bound to

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be some conflict.

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There's bound to be some kind of challenges

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and there's bound to be some obstacles.

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And the Prophet ﷺ, he even taught us

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how to overcome those challenges.

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When you have a problem with your spouse,

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there are certain things that we can do.

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When you have problems with your parents, when

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you have problems with our children, what things

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that we can do, those things are also

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taught to us by Rasulullah ﷺ.

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There is no area of life, there is

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no area of life where a person would

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say that the Prophet ﷺ he left us

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without really advising us and teaching us what

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to do in those kind of situations.

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So when it comes to relationships and when

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it comes to conflict resolution, there's always an

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easier way to handle every single thing.

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I say this often, you probably have heard

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me saying this before, but it's a reminder

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for all of us.

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And that is, the problem is not that

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we have problems today.

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The problem is not that we have problems.

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The problem is, we don't know how to

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solve our problems.

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We don't know how to solve our problems.

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And it's not that as if our deen,

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Islam, and the Qur'an and the Sunnah

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has not given us those guidelines.

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Those guidelines exist, but the ones who are

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not applying those guidelines are you and I.

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So this is why we need to understand

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that when there are issues within our families,

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when there are issues between a husband and

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a wife, one of the very first things

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that we need to do is that we

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try to always resolve the conflict.

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Always try to do sulh.

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And this is something that we find very

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consistently in the Qur'an when Allah subhanahu

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wa ta'ala says, السلح خير That sulh,

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doing sulh, reconciling your differences and your issues,

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it is always the best course of action.

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in Surah Al

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-Hujurat, a surah that is well known that

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teaches us community ethics.

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In this same surah, Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala even tells us that what do you

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do when you find yourselves in a situation

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when there are two parties and there is

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a severe conflict that has occurred between them.

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What do you do?

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Do you just stand by?

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Do you take a step back?

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As we do so often today, as a

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community, we see issues, but we tend to

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take a step back.

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in

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the Qur'an, وَإِن طَائِفَتَانِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ اِقْتَتَلُوا

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فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا When you see two parties, two

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groups that are at each other's throats, and

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there is a conflict that has brewed between

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them, then make sure you step in and

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you do sulh between them.

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And not only that, but Allah subhanahu wa

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ta'ala also tells us, وَجَزَاءُ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ

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مِثْلُهَا Someone has done you wrong, Islamically, by

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Allah you have the permission to get even

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with that person only to the amount that

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they have done you wrong.

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But Allah tells us, the better course of

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action is what?

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فَمَنْ عَفَى وَأَصْلِحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ If you

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forgive, and you do sulh, and you reconcile

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your differences, then this is better for you.

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And not only that, but the reward is

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enormous in the eyes of Allah subhanahu wa

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ta'ala.

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And the son of Imam Ahmed Hanbal rahmatullahi

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alayh, he said that, when my father was

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passing away, Imam Ahmed Hanbal, when he was

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passing away, I asked my father, the old

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father, there are so many people who have

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done you wrong, what happens to all that?

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And he says that, my son, look at

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this verse of the Quran I just recited

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to you.

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And he says that, on the day of

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judgment, those who have been wronged, and those

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who did not retaliate, and they did not

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get even, and they forgave, and they let

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it go, simply for the sake of Allah

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subhanahu wa ta'ala, Allah will give them

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such an amazing reward, that on the day

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of judgment, Allah will ask, that all those

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people who never got even in this dunya,

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who forgave them, simply because of Allah subhanahu

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wa ta'ala, this is Allah telling them,

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simply because of Him, then they will be

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raised, and they will be given such an

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amazing reward, by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

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that the entire creation of Allah, will be

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envious of that reward.

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Because there is no reward, that the human

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being can give.

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The point is, that this ayah teaches us,

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about reconciling our conflicts, and reconciling our differences.

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And then when you observe, the life of

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the Prophet ﷺ, there are examples after examples,

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of how he brought the hearts together, how

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he was able to reconcile the differences.

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There is one that we find, often in

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the seerah of the Prophet ﷺ, the story

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of Hilf al-Fudul.

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How he saw one person being wronged, who

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went to the Ka'bah, got the attention

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of all the leaders of Makkah, and then

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presented his claim, presented his complaint, and they

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came together, and they were able to establish

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justice in Makkah, which is known as Hilf

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al-Fudul.

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Not only that, but Rasulullah ﷺ, one time

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when he entered into the Ka'bah, the

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vicinity of the Haram, and he saw that

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the tribes of Makkah, were at a dispute,

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that who is going to place the black

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stone at the Ka'bah.

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These are stories that you and I, we

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have heard, brothers and sisters, not once, but

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on numerous occasions.

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But the problem is, that the fact that

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we still know these stories, and yet we

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don't resolve our conflicts, the right way, this

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is where the problem is.

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As I said earlier, the problem is not

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that we have the problem, the problem is

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we don't know how to solve our problems.

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And then there are other examples, such as

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in the time of the Prophet ﷺ, as

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they were returning back from an expedition, there

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was one person, an Ansari companion, who went

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to go and get some water, and there

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was a Muhajir companion that came.

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And as we all know, that the Munafiqun

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were always accompanying the Prophet, always trying to

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find any kind of situation to create a

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division between the Muhajir and the Ansar.

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Because the enemies of Islam, if there was

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one thing that they could not digest, is

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the brotherhood and the harmony between the brothers.

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And of course the brothers amongst the brothers,

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and the sisters amongst the sisters.

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But how well connected the Muslim community were,

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and how their hearts were united, this is

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something that they could not digest.

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Because it was not serving their personal interest.

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But when a Muhajir and an Ansar got

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into a small conflict, and they began to

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call their Muhajir friends, and their Ansar friends,

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and this could create a very big difficult

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situation, the Prophet ﷺ, immediately he got involved,

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and he broke up that conflict, and he

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re-institutionalized brotherhood, and he reminded them.

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In fact he even got upset, that if

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this is what you're doing, if this is

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what your state is, while I'm alive, then

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what's gonna happen even after I'm gone?

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So this is why brothers and sisters, the

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Qur'an teaches us, that whenever it comes

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to any kind of relationship, we always try

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to do sulh.

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And even if there's a situation, let's just

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say there's a situation, perhaps for an example,

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between a husband and a wife, and they

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have gone to mediation, they have gone and

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they have tried to find a way to

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resolve their conflicts, and they have not been

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able to succeed, and there is no other

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way but to separate, there is no other

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way but to dissolve the marriage, the Qur

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'an tells us that even in that situation,

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there's always a peaceful way to do something

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like this.

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Yet we see so often, when people are

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willing to dissolve their marriage, instead of dissolving

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it the right way, the Qur'anic way,

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as the Qur'an says, فَإِمْسَاكُمْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ

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تَسْرِحُمْ بِإِحْسَانٍ that either you stay together, or

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you separate with Ihsan.

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Ihsan is the highest level of Taqwa, and

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piety, and spirituality.

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Allah is telling us that even if you

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need to separate, you separate with Ihsan.

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Yet today we see in our own communities,

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though we know the seerah, though we know

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the verses of the Qur'an, and we

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are familiar with the hadith of the Prophet

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ﷺ, yet when it comes to these kind

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of situations, we see how people they go

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at each other's throats, how they're trying to

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shortchange, and cheat each other in these kind

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of systems.

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So this is why there's always an easy

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way to do sulh, and you have to

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always go to the right people to help

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you do the sulh.

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I ask Allah ﷻ to grant all of

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us the tawfiq, that first of all may

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Allah ﷻ bring our hearts together, but even

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if there's a situation, may Allah ﷻ always

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grant us the tawfiq, to do sulh amongst

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ourselves, to reconcile our differences the right way,

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the prophetic way, the Qur'anic way.

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Brothers and sisters, there is, I'm gonna finish

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inshallah on this.

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There is a handful of ayat in Surah

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An-Nur.

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Allah ﷻ, He talks about a story, that

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there was a munafiq man, that existed in

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the time of the Prophet ﷺ.

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He got into a dispute with a Jewish

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man.

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The Jewish man said, that in order to

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resolve our conflict, let's go to Rasulullah ﷺ.

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Because there is no one who is more

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just, than the Prophet ﷺ.

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The munafiq man said, I don't want to

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go to the Prophet ﷺ.

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Because he knew internally, that this Jewish man

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is the one who is in the position

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of who's right.

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He's the one who's innocent, and the munafiq

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man is guilty.

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Deep down inside he knows this, and he

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knows that if he goes to the Prophet

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ﷺ, the Prophet will not render a verdict

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in his favor.

00:19:06 --> 00:19:09

Allah ﷻ highlighted this in the Qur'an.

00:19:09 --> 00:19:15

He says, وَإِذَا دُعُوا إِلَىٰهِ وَرَسُولِهِ لِيَحْظُمَ بَيْنَهُمْ

00:19:15 --> 00:19:19

إِذَا فَرِيقٌ مِّنْهُمْ مُعْرِضُونَ Allah says, that when

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people are called, that come, let's resolve the

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conflict the Qur'anic way, the prophetic way.

00:19:25 --> 00:19:27

He said that there are a group of

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people, who turn away from the Qur'an

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and the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.

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And Allah ﷻ then says, وَإِن يَكُن لَهُمُ

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الْحَقُّ يَأْتُوا إِلَيْهِ مُذْعِنِينَ The only reason they

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would come to the Prophet ﷺ is if

00:19:40 --> 00:19:41

the Prophet would render a verdict in their

00:19:41 --> 00:19:42

favor.

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For anyone who says, that I will not

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do things the Qur'anic way, I wanna

00:19:49 --> 00:19:51

for example go to the court, I wanna

00:19:51 --> 00:19:53

do things the un-Islamic way, I rather

00:19:53 --> 00:19:55

have a non-Muslim judge my matters and

00:19:55 --> 00:19:58

so forth, rather than coming to the Qur

00:19:58 --> 00:19:59

'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ,

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Allah ﷻ highlights these people and He says,

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about these same people, who don't want their

00:20:05 --> 00:20:07

matters to be judged the Qur'anic way,

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the prophetic way, He says, أَفِي قُلُوبِهِم مَرَضٌ

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Is there a sickness in their heart?

00:20:13 --> 00:20:17

أَمِرْ تَابُوا Or they doubt Allah ﷻ, they

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doubt that Allah and His Prophet will not

00:20:19 --> 00:20:22

give them justice, as much as probably another

00:20:22 --> 00:20:24

person, a non-Muslim will give them justice.

00:20:25 --> 00:20:28

أَمْ يَخَافُونَ أَن يَحِيفَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمُ رَسُولُ Or

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do they fear that Allah ﷻ and His

00:20:31 --> 00:20:33

Prophet ﷺ will give the right verdict?

00:20:34 --> 00:20:37

To these kind of people, Allah ﷻ, He

00:20:37 --> 00:20:42

referred to them as, أُولَٰئِكَهُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ Think about

00:20:42 --> 00:20:43

this, one is that you and I, we

00:20:43 --> 00:20:46

call each other an oppressor, we might call

00:20:46 --> 00:20:49

each other a zalim or a zalim, but

00:20:49 --> 00:20:51

this is Allah calling a person a zalim,

00:20:51 --> 00:20:54

a person who says, I don't want Allah

00:20:54 --> 00:20:56

and His Prophet ﷺ to judge my matters,

00:20:56 --> 00:20:58

I'd rather have some, probably a non-Muslim,

00:20:58 --> 00:21:00

judge my matters and so forth.

00:21:00 --> 00:21:02

This is what Allah ﷻ is referring to

00:21:02 --> 00:21:02

the Qur'an.

00:21:03 --> 00:21:05

So the point is, that anytime we are

00:21:05 --> 00:21:07

in a situation, we have to always go

00:21:07 --> 00:21:09

back to the Qur'an, always go back

00:21:09 --> 00:21:11

to the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, because

00:21:11 --> 00:21:12

there is no one who is more just

00:21:12 --> 00:21:14

than Allah and His Prophet ﷺ.

00:21:15 --> 00:21:17

I ask Allah ﷻ to grant all of

00:21:17 --> 00:21:19

us the tawfiq, to apply the teachings of

00:21:19 --> 00:21:20

the Qur'an in our life, and may

00:21:20 --> 00:21:23

Allah ﷻ always go back to the Qur

00:21:23 --> 00:21:25

'an and the sunnah to resolve our conflicts.

00:21:54 --> 00:22:04

Surah

00:22:04 --> 00:22:04

Al

00:22:04 --> 00:22:18

-Fatihah

00:22:31 --> 00:22:41

Surah Al-Fatihah There are

00:22:41 --> 00:22:42

some requests for du'as.

00:22:43 --> 00:22:47

Brother Muhammad Arif, Sister Reyhana, and Brother Mumtaz

00:22:47 --> 00:22:49

Khan, these people who are sick, may Allah

00:22:49 --> 00:22:50

ﷻ give them a shifa.

00:27:23 --> 00:27:25

Brother Asfar has a very important announcement.

00:27:25 --> 00:27:27

If you could just give him just one

00:27:27 --> 00:27:28

or two minutes of your time, please.

00:27:28 --> 00:27:28

Inshallah.

00:27:29 --> 00:27:30

Before you leave, please listen to his announcement.

00:27:40 --> 00:27:41

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

00:27:42 --> 00:27:45

I just want to announce that we are

00:27:45 --> 00:27:47

going to have a Sira conference here on

00:27:47 --> 00:27:49

September 20th and 21st.

00:27:49 --> 00:27:51

We don't want you to miss on this

00:27:51 --> 00:27:52

huge opportunity.

00:27:53 --> 00:27:56

On Friday evening, we will have the session

00:27:56 --> 00:27:59

one, and on Saturday, all day on 21st,

00:27:59 --> 00:28:02

inshallah, we will have many great scholars.

00:28:02 --> 00:28:05

There is a lineup of 20 scholars that

00:28:05 --> 00:28:08

are, inshallah, going to be participating in that.

00:28:08 --> 00:28:13

You can register online at go.friscomasjid.org

00:28:13 --> 00:28:16

slash siraconference or you can scan the QR

00:28:16 --> 00:28:18

code at the banners outside in the lobby.

00:28:18 --> 00:28:20

So please participate in that.

00:28:20 --> 00:28:25

This is a great opportunity to have practical

00:28:25 --> 00:28:27

lessons from the Sira of Prophet sallallahu alaihi

00:28:27 --> 00:28:27

wasallam.

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31

In addition to that, we have a fall

00:28:31 --> 00:28:32

retreat coming for the families.

00:28:33 --> 00:28:36

That retreat would have Sheikh Abdul Nasir Jangda,

00:28:37 --> 00:28:40

Sister Hala Banani, our own Imam Salah, inshallah,

00:28:40 --> 00:28:42

very beneficial.

00:28:42 --> 00:28:43

Register with your families.

00:28:44 --> 00:28:47

The banner is outside again with the QR

00:28:47 --> 00:28:47

code.

00:28:47 --> 00:28:49

So you can, inshallah, participate in that.

00:28:50 --> 00:28:54

This evening we have a fundraising event.

00:28:54 --> 00:28:56

It is the robotics program that ICF also

00:28:56 --> 00:28:57

partners with.

00:28:57 --> 00:28:59

I would encourage you to participate in that.

00:28:59 --> 00:29:00

It's at the headquarters.

00:29:02 --> 00:29:04

And tomorrow we have a free CPR training,

00:29:05 --> 00:29:07

inshallah, from 3 to 5.

00:29:08 --> 00:29:10

Please attend that if you would like to

00:29:10 --> 00:29:12

get certification in that.

00:29:13 --> 00:29:16

And last but not least, our Saffa Seminary

00:29:16 --> 00:29:18

is having open house tomorrow from 12 to

00:29:18 --> 00:29:18

2.

00:29:19 --> 00:29:21

So please come and learn about the Saffa

00:29:21 --> 00:29:22

Seminary.

00:29:22 --> 00:29:23

And if you would like to enroll your

00:29:23 --> 00:29:24

students, that's your opportunity.

00:29:25 --> 00:29:25

Jazakallah Khair.

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