Nadim Bashir – Conflict Resolution In Islam
AI: Summary ©
The importance of history and understanding rights in relationships is emphasized, along with the need to overcome obstacles and challenges. The speaker discusses the importance of reconciling conflicts and issues in one's life, particularly in relationships. The need for cooperation in resolving conflicts is emphasized, along with the importance of going back to values and values in one's church. A representative from a church emphasizes the need for everyone to apply the teachings of the church to their daily lives and promotes a free CPR training fundraising event.
AI: Summary ©
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
As
-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger
of Allah.
Come to Prayer Come to Prayer
I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that
just as he has gathered us here today
on this day of Jum'ah, may Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala gather us along with
our families and gather us for Daws al
-A'la in the companionship of Rasulallah ﷺ
and his Sahaba, Amir al-Alamin.
Brothers and sisters, I just recited a verse
of the Qur'an, the very first verse
of Surah An-Nisa.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, He talks about
relationships.
He talks about the fact that we all,
no matter what different cultures and different ethnicities
we come from, we all come from one
mother and one father, Adam ﷺ and Hawa
ﷺ.
And then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
that through these two people, وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا
كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala populated
the earth with men and women.
When it comes to people, brothers and sisters,
it is inevitable that we are going to
have relationships with other people.
There is a relationship between a husband and
a wife, a relationship between a parent and
their children, a relationship between siblings, a relationship
between cousins and extended family members.
But it is also very common that when
it comes to relationships, there is bound to
be some certain challenges.
In this day and age, while people can
say that they have financial challenges and other
challenges, one of the greatest challenges and one
of the most difficult things to manage in
our day-to-day life is our relationships.
Each one of us, we have some kind
of issue going on within our family.
There is not a single person who can
say very confidently that there are absolutely no
challenges when it comes to the relationship either
with my spouse or my children or my
extended family members or my parents and the
list goes on.
And this is why when Rasulullah ﷺ, when
he was sent as a prophet, though he
taught monotheism, though he was focused on establishing
the message of Tawheed, one of the very
first things that we see the Prophet ﷺ
establishing was the rights of people.
He saw that the orphans were mistreated in
the society, so he taught the people the
rights of the orphans.
He saw that women were mistreated in society,
he talked about their rights.
He saw that how girls were being buried
alive and he eradicated those kind of practices
and he was able to establish Islam.
Not only that, but when the Prophet ﷺ
even went to Medina, there he was able
to again re-emphasize the rights of every
single person.
When the Prophet ﷺ talked about the rights
of the husband, he talked about the rights
of the wife.
When he talked about the rights of the
parents, he talked about the rights of the
children.
There was no person, there was no segment
of the community that could say that Islam
did not give me my rights.
Even to the point that when slavery did
exist in the time of the Prophet ﷺ,
even they had their own rights.
Even the Prophet ﷺ taught the community, taught
his society that how to treat these people.
When it came to the agreement, the Medina
Charter, the agreement between the Muslims and the
existing communities in Medina, the Prophet ﷺ he
was able to establish rights for them too.
So the point is that rights do exist
for everyone.
At the same time, as I said earlier,
but when people come together, there's bound to
be some conflict.
There's bound to be some kind of challenges
and there's bound to be some obstacles.
And the Prophet ﷺ, he even taught us
how to overcome those challenges.
When you have a problem with your spouse,
there are certain things that we can do.
When you have problems with your parents, when
you have problems with our children, what things
that we can do, those things are also
taught to us by Rasulullah ﷺ.
There is no area of life, there is
no area of life where a person would
say that the Prophet ﷺ he left us
without really advising us and teaching us what
to do in those kind of situations.
So when it comes to relationships and when
it comes to conflict resolution, there's always an
easier way to handle every single thing.
I say this often, you probably have heard
me saying this before, but it's a reminder
for all of us.
And that is, the problem is not that
we have problems today.
The problem is not that we have problems.
The problem is, we don't know how to
solve our problems.
We don't know how to solve our problems.
And it's not that as if our deen,
Islam, and the Qur'an and the Sunnah
has not given us those guidelines.
Those guidelines exist, but the ones who are
not applying those guidelines are you and I.
So this is why we need to understand
that when there are issues within our families,
when there are issues between a husband and
a wife, one of the very first things
that we need to do is that we
try to always resolve the conflict.
Always try to do sulh.
And this is something that we find very
consistently in the Qur'an when Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala says, السلح خير That sulh,
doing sulh, reconciling your differences and your issues,
it is always the best course of action.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in Surah Al
-Hujurat, a surah that is well known that
teaches us community ethics.
In this same surah, Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala even tells us that what do you
do when you find yourselves in a situation
when there are two parties and there is
a severe conflict that has occurred between them.
What do you do?
Do you just stand by?
Do you take a step back?
As we do so often today, as a
community, we see issues, but we tend to
take a step back.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in
the Qur'an, وَإِن طَائِفَتَانِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ اِقْتَتَلُوا
فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا When you see two parties, two
groups that are at each other's throats, and
there is a conflict that has brewed between
them, then make sure you step in and
you do sulh between them.
And not only that, but Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala also tells us, وَجَزَاءُ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ
مِثْلُهَا Someone has done you wrong, Islamically, by
Allah you have the permission to get even
with that person only to the amount that
they have done you wrong.
But Allah tells us, the better course of
action is what?
فَمَنْ عَفَى وَأَصْلِحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ If you
forgive, and you do sulh, and you reconcile
your differences, then this is better for you.
And not only that, but the reward is
enormous in the eyes of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
And the son of Imam Ahmed Hanbal rahmatullahi
alayh, he said that, when my father was
passing away, Imam Ahmed Hanbal, when he was
passing away, I asked my father, the old
father, there are so many people who have
done you wrong, what happens to all that?
And he says that, my son, look at
this verse of the Quran I just recited
to you.
And he says that, on the day of
judgment, those who have been wronged, and those
who did not retaliate, and they did not
get even, and they forgave, and they let
it go, simply for the sake of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, Allah will give them
such an amazing reward, that on the day
of judgment, Allah will ask, that all those
people who never got even in this dunya,
who forgave them, simply because of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala, this is Allah telling them,
simply because of Him, then they will be
raised, and they will be given such an
amazing reward, by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
that the entire creation of Allah, will be
envious of that reward.
Because there is no reward, that the human
being can give.
The point is, that this ayah teaches us,
about reconciling our conflicts, and reconciling our differences.
And then when you observe, the life of
the Prophet ﷺ, there are examples after examples,
of how he brought the hearts together, how
he was able to reconcile the differences.
There is one that we find, often in
the seerah of the Prophet ﷺ, the story
of Hilf al-Fudul.
How he saw one person being wronged, who
went to the Ka'bah, got the attention
of all the leaders of Makkah, and then
presented his claim, presented his complaint, and they
came together, and they were able to establish
justice in Makkah, which is known as Hilf
al-Fudul.
Not only that, but Rasulullah ﷺ, one time
when he entered into the Ka'bah, the
vicinity of the Haram, and he saw that
the tribes of Makkah, were at a dispute,
that who is going to place the black
stone at the Ka'bah.
These are stories that you and I, we
have heard, brothers and sisters, not once, but
on numerous occasions.
But the problem is, that the fact that
we still know these stories, and yet we
don't resolve our conflicts, the right way, this
is where the problem is.
As I said earlier, the problem is not
that we have the problem, the problem is
we don't know how to solve our problems.
And then there are other examples, such as
in the time of the Prophet ﷺ, as
they were returning back from an expedition, there
was one person, an Ansari companion, who went
to go and get some water, and there
was a Muhajir companion that came.
And as we all know, that the Munafiqun
were always accompanying the Prophet, always trying to
find any kind of situation to create a
division between the Muhajir and the Ansar.
Because the enemies of Islam, if there was
one thing that they could not digest, is
the brotherhood and the harmony between the brothers.
And of course the brothers amongst the brothers,
and the sisters amongst the sisters.
But how well connected the Muslim community were,
and how their hearts were united, this is
something that they could not digest.
Because it was not serving their personal interest.
But when a Muhajir and an Ansar got
into a small conflict, and they began to
call their Muhajir friends, and their Ansar friends,
and this could create a very big difficult
situation, the Prophet ﷺ, immediately he got involved,
and he broke up that conflict, and he
re-institutionalized brotherhood, and he reminded them.
In fact he even got upset, that if
this is what you're doing, if this is
what your state is, while I'm alive, then
what's gonna happen even after I'm gone?
So this is why brothers and sisters, the
Qur'an teaches us, that whenever it comes
to any kind of relationship, we always try
to do sulh.
And even if there's a situation, let's just
say there's a situation, perhaps for an example,
between a husband and a wife, and they
have gone to mediation, they have gone and
they have tried to find a way to
resolve their conflicts, and they have not been
able to succeed, and there is no other
way but to separate, there is no other
way but to dissolve the marriage, the Qur
'an tells us that even in that situation,
there's always a peaceful way to do something
like this.
Yet we see so often, when people are
willing to dissolve their marriage, instead of dissolving
it the right way, the Qur'anic way,
as the Qur'an says, فَإِمْسَاكُمْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ
تَسْرِحُمْ بِإِحْسَانٍ that either you stay together, or
you separate with Ihsan.
Ihsan is the highest level of Taqwa, and
piety, and spirituality.
Allah is telling us that even if you
need to separate, you separate with Ihsan.
Yet today we see in our own communities,
though we know the seerah, though we know
the verses of the Qur'an, and we
are familiar with the hadith of the Prophet
ﷺ, yet when it comes to these kind
of situations, we see how people they go
at each other's throats, how they're trying to
shortchange, and cheat each other in these kind
of systems.
So this is why there's always an easy
way to do sulh, and you have to
always go to the right people to help
you do the sulh.
I ask Allah ﷻ to grant all of
us the tawfiq, that first of all may
Allah ﷻ bring our hearts together, but even
if there's a situation, may Allah ﷻ always
grant us the tawfiq, to do sulh amongst
ourselves, to reconcile our differences the right way,
the prophetic way, the Qur'anic way.
Brothers and sisters, there is, I'm gonna finish
inshallah on this.
There is a handful of ayat in Surah
An-Nur.
Allah ﷻ, He talks about a story, that
there was a munafiq man, that existed in
the time of the Prophet ﷺ.
He got into a dispute with a Jewish
man.
The Jewish man said, that in order to
resolve our conflict, let's go to Rasulullah ﷺ.
Because there is no one who is more
just, than the Prophet ﷺ.
The munafiq man said, I don't want to
go to the Prophet ﷺ.
Because he knew internally, that this Jewish man
is the one who is in the position
of who's right.
He's the one who's innocent, and the munafiq
man is guilty.
Deep down inside he knows this, and he
knows that if he goes to the Prophet
ﷺ, the Prophet will not render a verdict
in his favor.
Allah ﷻ highlighted this in the Qur'an.
He says, وَإِذَا دُعُوا إِلَىٰهِ وَرَسُولِهِ لِيَحْظُمَ بَيْنَهُمْ
إِذَا فَرِيقٌ مِّنْهُمْ مُعْرِضُونَ Allah says, that when
people are called, that come, let's resolve the
conflict the Qur'anic way, the prophetic way.
He said that there are a group of
people, who turn away from the Qur'an
and the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
And Allah ﷻ then says, وَإِن يَكُن لَهُمُ
الْحَقُّ يَأْتُوا إِلَيْهِ مُذْعِنِينَ The only reason they
would come to the Prophet ﷺ is if
the Prophet would render a verdict in their
favor.
For anyone who says, that I will not
do things the Qur'anic way, I wanna
for example go to the court, I wanna
do things the un-Islamic way, I rather
have a non-Muslim judge my matters and
so forth, rather than coming to the Qur
'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ,
Allah ﷻ highlights these people and He says,
about these same people, who don't want their
matters to be judged the Qur'anic way,
the prophetic way, He says, أَفِي قُلُوبِهِم مَرَضٌ
Is there a sickness in their heart?
أَمِرْ تَابُوا Or they doubt Allah ﷻ, they
doubt that Allah and His Prophet will not
give them justice, as much as probably another
person, a non-Muslim will give them justice.
أَمْ يَخَافُونَ أَن يَحِيفَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمُ رَسُولُ Or
do they fear that Allah ﷻ and His
Prophet ﷺ will give the right verdict?
To these kind of people, Allah ﷻ, He
referred to them as, أُولَٰئِكَهُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ Think about
this, one is that you and I, we
call each other an oppressor, we might call
each other a zalim or a zalim, but
this is Allah calling a person a zalim,
a person who says, I don't want Allah
and His Prophet ﷺ to judge my matters,
I'd rather have some, probably a non-Muslim,
judge my matters and so forth.
This is what Allah ﷻ is referring to
the Qur'an.
So the point is, that anytime we are
in a situation, we have to always go
back to the Qur'an, always go back
to the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, because
there is no one who is more just
than Allah and His Prophet ﷺ.
I ask Allah ﷻ to grant all of
us the tawfiq, to apply the teachings of
the Qur'an in our life, and may
Allah ﷻ always go back to the Qur
'an and the sunnah to resolve our conflicts.
Surah
Al
-Fatihah
Surah Al-Fatihah There are
some requests for du'as.
Brother Muhammad Arif, Sister Reyhana, and Brother Mumtaz
Khan, these people who are sick, may Allah
ﷻ give them a shifa.
Brother Asfar has a very important announcement.
If you could just give him just one
or two minutes of your time, please.
Inshallah.
Before you leave, please listen to his announcement.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
I just want to announce that we are
going to have a Sira conference here on
September 20th and 21st.
We don't want you to miss on this
huge opportunity.
On Friday evening, we will have the session
one, and on Saturday, all day on 21st,
inshallah, we will have many great scholars.
There is a lineup of 20 scholars that
are, inshallah, going to be participating in that.
You can register online at go.friscomasjid.org
slash siraconference or you can scan the QR
code at the banners outside in the lobby.
So please participate in that.
This is a great opportunity to have practical
lessons from the Sira of Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam.
In addition to that, we have a fall
retreat coming for the families.
That retreat would have Sheikh Abdul Nasir Jangda,
Sister Hala Banani, our own Imam Salah, inshallah,
very beneficial.
Register with your families.
The banner is outside again with the QR
code.
So you can, inshallah, participate in that.
This evening we have a fundraising event.
It is the robotics program that ICF also
partners with.
I would encourage you to participate in that.
It's at the headquarters.
And tomorrow we have a free CPR training,
inshallah, from 3 to 5.
Please attend that if you would like to
get certification in that.
And last but not least, our Saffa Seminary
is having open house tomorrow from 12 to
2.
So please come and learn about the Saffa
Seminary.
And if you would like to enroll your
students, that's your opportunity.
Jazakallah Khair.