Nadim Bashir – 3 Ways To Keep The Family Together
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of bringing family together for happiness and family satisfaction, emphasizing the need for spirituality and a focus on personal growth. They stress the importance of showing respect and love towards each other in order to maintain a healthy relationship and take advantage of joint family activities. The speakers also emphasize the importance of bringing peace and happiness to everyone in the family.
AI: Summary ©
Ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
that just as he has gathered us here
today on this day of jum'ah. May Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala gather us along with our
families in Jadufriddosul'ala,
and the companionship of Rasulullah
Brothers and sisters, one of the most difficult
things that we are all dealing with in
a certain capacity,
and one of the most biggest crisis, I
would say, within our community
is the crisis of family.
There is so much so many issues are
going on within our families.
Wallahi, I stand here on this member saying
this, with no exaggeration,
that on a weekly basis,
99%
of the calls that I get,
99% of the emails that I'm receiving,
are all related to family crisis.
And so therefore, there are 3 things today,
inshaAllah, I wanna mention mention in this brief
khutbah,
about what we can do in order to
keep the family ties together. Because the reality
is that if we find peace and happiness
in our homes, in our families,
then we'll find peace and happiness, and we
will be overall happy.
But if we try to find that same
happiness, and we try to substitute
the happiness that we're supposed to find inside
the house, anywhere else, wallahi, you will not
find that happiness.
Eventually, a person has to go home. Eventually,
a person has to go back to their
husband, to their wife, to their children.
So why not do the things that can
bring the family together? The very first thing
that must happen when it comes to bringing
a family together is that it has to
be based on spirituality.
A family that is devoid of spirituality.
A family may be doing a lot of
different things, but wallahi, if they don't have
Allah, and they don't have a priority
of of establishing the Quran, and establishing the
sunnah of Rasulullah
alaihi wa sallam within their family, they will
not find ultimate happiness.
At the end of the day,
happiness is not contingent
on the size of the house, and how
many cars you have, and how much real
estate you have. Happiness
is contingent on how much you are closer
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
There are people who have so much wealth,
and yet they do not have happiness in
their life. And there are people who have
very less in their life, and you'll find
them happy in many cases. Why? Because if
their hearts are connected to Allah, and his
Prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam, that also means
that a person may have a lot of
wealth, but the wealth is not what's bringing
them happiness. Their connection to Allah, and the
connection with the sunnah of the Prophet
is what's bringing them happiness. So a family
that is built on spirituality,
is a family that will find some kind
of connection. They will be able to come
together. That means that when the time of
salah comes,
and you cannot go to the masjid If
you can come to the masjid as a
family, and go back home as a family,
That is the best. However,
if you cannot come to the masjid, then
make sure that at home you set up
one time. Not that the mother is praying
her own salat, and the father is praying
his own salat, and then you're telling the
children to pray their own salat. No. You
come together, and you perform salatul jama'ah.
You perform salat in congregation,
and then you after the salat, you tell
your kids to sit down, and everyone do
the tasbihat.
Everyone remembers Allah
These are the things that if we do
them consistently,
it will bring the family together.
Often the family sits down, you can listen
to a lecture.
You know, people have smart TVs in their
home, you listen to a lecture on YouTube
then discuss it, talk about it. If there
is someone who brings up a question, an
Islamic question, often children, they come up with
many, you know, questions about Islam. Instead of
getting upset,
instead of losing our minds,
sit down, have a conversation with them. Have
a conversation. If you do if you cannot,
if you as a parent cannot answer that
question, then tell them to go to the
imam, go to the sheikh, go to someone
in the community who knows about their deen,
and let them talk to them, insha Allah.
But the most important thing is,
spiritually the family has to come together, and
that is the foundation.
We see in the Quran,
Allah whenever you and I, we go for
umrah, we go for hajj, We are not
reviving the legacy of only one man, Ibrahim
alayhis salam.
Because Allah
loves
when a family comes together to
Allah And this is why, till the day
of judgment,
every person who goes for Hajj or for
Umrah, they are reviving the legacy
of the family. Not just Ibrahim alaihis salam,
but the family of Ibrahim alaihis salam because
the entire family was built on spirituality.
So this is something that is very very
beloved to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
The second thing that we need to do
in our families,
in order to bring the family together, and
to keep the love there, is that we
always show love and respect to each other.
I've talked about this before, and each of
these three things that I'm mentioning, they can
require They require their own khutbah. And you
can talk about them, each of these topics
for for 2, 3 hours easily.
But today, right now I have to cover
these three things, so that we can take
something back home, with ourselves.
The second thing is love and respect. A
husband needs to show respect to his wife.
The wife needs to show respect to her
husband. You cannot criticize
or use derogatory
terms, be verbally abusive about towards each other,
especially in front of the kids. Even if
the kids are not there. Wallahi, I get
so many calls on a weekly basis, that
how husbands are using vulgar language
against their own spouse in front of the
kids, using derogatory terms, especially when it comes
to their wives. The woman who gave birth
to their children, this is how the the
terms they are using. The wallahi, I cannot
even stand on this member and use those
words. And these are people who are coming
to the masjid. Wallahi makes me upset. It
makes me angry. But what else can I
do besides making dua to Allah and talking
about this? But, yes, there are cases also
where women are doing this, but more often
we find, I find, and the stories I'm
getting and receiving, and the calls I'm getting
is about men who are using this kind
of language against their
spouse, and especially in front of their children.
Brothers brothers, especially the brothers have the fear
of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And especially for
the sisters, I will also say that make
sure you do not disrespect your husband in
front of your kids. Often when the kids
grow up, and the husband now, he his
authority has perhaps become a little mellow in
the family. His authority has gone down. Sometimes
the woman's authority, they they grow. And what
happens in that situation is they begin to
disrespect their husbands. So sisters, you have also
to make sure that you respect your husband,
and you make sure that you do not
question his leadership, and you don't question his
authority.
And more importantly, brothers and sisters, as long
as we can respect each other, yes, I
get it, we're all human beings. Yes, there
will be times in the family where we're
gonna get upset, but after we do that,
after we even get upset, and we may
have, you know, we might, you know, we
might have some anger issues, but after that,
once we have cooled down, apologize to each
other. Talk about what the problem is, and
make sure that that problem does not happen
again. This is what brings a family together.
Yes, there's gonna be moments of anger, but
we use those moments of anger to ensure
a better future. This is what we need
to do in our families.
That in the good days of your marriage,
you show mawaddah and show love to each
other. And the difficult days of your marriage,
and the difficult days of your family, show
rahma towards each other. This is something that
is very key. And finally, the third thing
that we must do in our families in
order to bring the family together, is do
joint family activities.
Go outside. As long as we stay inside
the house, usually we are all stuck to
our own computers,
our Ipads, our social media accounts, and so
forth. The children are doing their own things,
the parents are doing their own things. Try
to find things to do outside the house.
Even you don't have to go outside the
house, even go into your own backyard. Do
something. Do a barbecue in your backyard. Get
the family together. Have family dinners. When you
sit down for family dinners, put aside all
the phones. No one's gonna answer their phones,
every single gadget stays far away from the
dining room, and you talk to each other.
Communicate with each other. This is what is
lost today in our families.
This is what is lost. Go outside, do
joint family activities. Yes, in the beginning the
children, they may not like it. They may
not want to go outside with the family
but you force them. Tell them to go
with you. When you get invited,
a lot of times parents are leaving their
kids. No. You bring your kids along with
you. Go together as a family. Come back
together as a family. Spend more time together
because the more the family spends time together,
then the more they're gonna stay off these
gadgets, and the more they will stay off
social media. So these are a few things
that we need to do today.
Of course as I said earlier, that each
of these things require their own khutbah, but
at the same time, I want all of
us here to take these three things back
home. In order to keep our families together,
number 1, we have, our families have to
be built on spirituality.
We Spirituality,
our salawat, our adkar, our Quran has to
be the highest priority.
Number 2 is, we respect each other. When
I talk about respecting, we show love to
each other. Meaning that we talk to each
other nicely,
jumma khutba, you hear the same thing.
Means you be respectful towards each other. Use
the tongue that Allah has given us in
the right way. Yes, we're human beings. We
might lose our temper. Something may come out
of our mouth that is not nice and
so forth, but then we apologize,
and we try to use the past, learn
from the past for a better future. And
number 3 is always try to do things
outside activities,
external activities outside the house house. Do joint
activities. Make a plan. This this time we're
gonna go outside. This time we're gonna go
outside. We're gonna do things together. Even if
you're in your own community, in your own
subdivision,
go outside with for a walk as a
family. These are things that will bring the
peace, and the peace and the love within
our family members, inshaAllah.
And the same house that many of us
we feel that have become so toxic for
us, that same place, inshaAllah. If we can
implement the Quran, the sunnah, and these few
things, inshaAllah,
Those same homes will be a safe haven,
safe haven for all of us, inshaAllah. I
ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to bring peace
and happiness in our families. Ameerabaalameen.
BarakAllahu laa nawalakum fiqhul anadimwanifaanawawaiyaa
Straighten lines. Fill in the gaps.
There's plenty of space inside the main hall.
Please come inside.
There's still plenty of space. Please come inside.
And please make sure the people standing in
the back two rooms, often the rows are
incomplete.
If you need to take a few few
take a few more steps, but please make
sure the rows are complete.