Nadim Ali – Self Struggle
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AI: Transcript ©
Indeed. All praise belongs to Allah.
The most high, we thank him and we
seek his aid and we seek his forgiveness
and we seek refuge with him from the
evil of ourselves and from our bad actions.
Whoever Allah guides him, there's no one who
can mislead him, and whoever Allah calls us
to go astray,
then there's no one to guide him.
I bear witness that there's no deity except
Allah who is unique and without partners, and
I bear witness that Mohammed is his worshipper
and messenger. May the peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him and his family and
his companions,
and those who follow them with good intentions
until the day of judgment.
All you who believe, fear Allah as he
should be feared and don't die except his
Muslims. Again, all you who believe,
fear Allah as he should be feared and
don't die except his Muslims.
And all mankind, be careful of your duty
to Yorab who created you from a single
soul and from it created its mate, and
from the 2 of them you spread forth
many men and women.
Be careful of your duty to Allah whom
you demand your mutual rights and be careful
of your duty to the wounds that bore
you. Indeed, Allah is our
over you.
All you who believe, fear Allah and always
speak the truth, he will cause your deeds
to be beneficial
and he will forgive for you your sins
and whoever obeys Allah and his messenger,
then he has truly
achieved a tremendous accomplishment.
Indeed, the best speech is the book of
Allah
and the best guidance is the guidance of
Muhammad
and the most evil of all affairs.
A newly invented matters which has no precedence
in Islam
and indeed all innovations are straight
and each astray is in the hellfire. Oh
Allah, save us from it. Oh Allah,
accept our dua.
By the soul and by him who made
it perfect,
and then inspired it to understand
what is wrong and what is right for
it.
Truly is successful, the one
who purifies
their own soul.
As for those who struggle in our cause,
we will surely guide them along our way,
and Allah is certainly with the doers of
good.
And also Allah
says,
and hold firmly to the rope of Allah
altogether,
and do not become divided.
You remember the favor of Allah upon you
when you were enemies and he bought your
hearts together, and you became by his favor
brothers, and you were on the edge of
the pit of the fire, and he saved
you from it. Thus does Allah make clear
to you his verses,
that you may be guided.
And I wanted to
share these particular ayats, today,
just in an effort
as not only a reminder to you, but
a reminder to myself the importance
of struggling, the the struggle of self.
The struggle of self. It's it's important for
us again to be clear
on what we should be challenging on a
daily basis.
And the challenge is in front of us
at all times.
And again, I'm referring to that challenge that
you see in the mirror.
All of us.
You know, even
something as small as when there's a door
that we make when we look into the
mirror that the prophet, peace be upon him,
gave us is that, you know, you ask
Allah to make your character as beautiful as
he has made your form. That's just a
dua that we make.
Because the importance of character, and that's what
the prophet, peace be upon him, said. He
only
came to improve character, pea to improve people's
character.
That was his main mission because if you
look at the Arabs of that day
and the ignorance that they were steeped in,
and just like for many of us, there
was a lot of ignorance
for those of us who reverted to this
deen.
There's a lot of ignorance. Even people who
were born
Muslim,
or born in Muslim families,
a lot of times, culturally, they may have
a lot of ignorance. That's not based on
deen.
And so it's about
maintaining
a pristine character,
a pristine character so that, you know, we
can be the best people that we can
be. And again, that's the challenge that we
face every day in the mirror. We have
to engage in self struggle on a daily
basis. We have to, you know, again, work
on we can't ever be perfect,
but we can strive for perfection. We can
strive
again to to optimize and strive for excellence
for the most part in all things.
What's the prophet say, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam?
He says that a Muslim should not touch
a thing unless they seek to improve it.
Unless they seek to improve it.
And we can take that not only,
you know, again, if we're working on a
project
or, you know, if we're,
you know, get you know, if we're single
and we're trying to get married,
you know, because, again, when you get married,
you want to improve each other's condition.
And I did a talk years ago, said
that marriage is half our deen, based on
the Hadith that said marriage is half our
deen.
But I always tell people, you don't drive
half a car.
What about the other half?
And so a lot of times, we just
lay on that. Oh, it's half our deen,
so I'm gonna get married.
And you're broke.
I'm gonna get married, and you just got
out of a marriage.
I'm gonna get married, and you have all
sorts of issues that, you know, again, you
start off again with a a backpack full
of issues, and then a
pickup truck full of issues, and you come
into a new marriage with a 18 wheeler
full of issues and say, where do I
park this thing? And that's for men and
women.
And so and now when I'm counseling people,
I tell people to grieve the loss of
the relationship because
having a divorce is like a death.
Loss of a relationship is like a death
and we don't take time to grieve. We
just say, oh, say if our deans, so
we just continue to rationalize,
you know, sick behaviors
and try to codify it or try
to basically give it give it cover through
the deen. But again, the prophet
says the best of you are those who
are best to their families. He said, I'm
the best of you and because I'm the
best of my family. So we have to
work on that. We have to be of
those
who are improving ourselves.
And
when we get ourselves together, we don't want
to bring a half a person into a
relationship.
We wanna have, again, 2 whole people coming
together. And what's the the the concept? Synergy.
2 whole people can create synergy. And again,
that means that you are better together than
you are as individuals. But as an individual,
you're whole. And in in in
council,
we use the term interdependence.
Interdependence,
not co dependence. Interdependence is when you're working
together to build something.
Co dependence
is when, you know, you are mister, save
a sister.
You know, or sister, save a brother.
Codependence. When you are doing stuff for people
that they could should be doing for themselves.
So so you want to have interdependence. You
don't wanna be independent.
You know, I see people who, you know,
wait until late in life and get married,
and they used to be an individualized. They
used to just taking care of themselves, and
it's very hard for them to get into
that we mode, to think about that other
person when they're not in their presence.
So it's about working on ourselves
constantly.
Specifically, if we're getting married, if we're trying
to establish community, if we're raising children, we
have to work on ourselves.
Work on ourselves.
Work on ourselves
holistically. Work on ourselves
physically,
work on ourselves spiritually
and socially.
Daily struggle, it's it's important in order to,
again, optimize our adherence to the dean.
You know, we have to give up things
that
impede our worship, give up bad habits that
impede our worship.
You know, many of us
bring in a lot of issues into the
dean.
And you have people who try to say,
well, it's okay. You need to you can
keep doing this and that.
But what does Allah say? He said he
will not change your condition until you change
that which is in your heart.
And he says the prophet
said that everything rust and know that the
heart rust and that which removes the rust
from the heart is the remembrance of Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And so we have to work to get
the rest off our hearts.
The rest of weed, the rest of intoxicants,
the rest of of of smoking cigarettes,
the rest of engaging in bad food, the
rest of not engaging in self care.
We have to get that stuff out of
our hearts and give it up. Give
it
up,
Give up these ways
that impede our worship.
Abu
Katadah reported
that the prophet
said, verily,
you will never
leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty,
but that Allah will replace it with something
better for you.
Verily, you will never leave anything for the
sake of Allah Almighty,
but that Allah will replace it with something
better for you.
Sahih Hadid.
So it's a, you know, again, giving up
something,
Peace be the love. Even though you may
love it. You know, when I work with
heroin addicts, and I work with people who
deal with cocaine, working with people who who
dealing with alcohol and subs other substance, I
work with them. Been doing that for the
last 40 years.
And, you know, you used to tell people
people tell them drugs are bad, but they
say, it ain't bad. Make me feel a
certain way.
When god said he shot heroin and he
felt like he was in jail.
Yeah. That's the feeling that people get.
And so
but and Allah said don't do it. Jenna
is Jenna.
You ain't gonna have heaven on earth.
You're not gonna have heaven on earth, and
that's what people strive. People who smoke crack,
they people who smoke crack for the first
time, and then what happens? They they say
they know that was it. They're filling up
an emptiness, a hole,
and it's a spiritual hole.
And it's interesting, the people in a a
figured that out almost a 100 years ago.
1 of the guys who was alcoholic, he
said that when he stopped drinking,
you know, he had a god sized hole
in him. Recognized that there was a spiritual
aspect to his addiction.
And so we have to give up things
even though we love it. Sometime, we have
to give up people.
I gave up a whole host of people
when I came to Islam in 1978.
People I loved, but I loved a lot
more.
And that's what we have to do. We
have to develop this love of Allah and
not love of our homeboys or homegirls or
people who are calling us away from the
worship of Allah.
So these are some of the things that
we have to take seriously, brothers and sisters.
Again, you will never leave anything for the
sake of Allah Almighty, but that Allah will
replace it with something better. Giving up something
for Allah's pleasure
really is an act of faith.
Because if you give up something,
you don't know what's around the corner.
And so you said, I know this makes
me feel a certain way, but I'm gonna
give it up because of loss. Don't do
it.
And you don't know what Allah will give
you. And that's, again, the act of faith.
And again, we attempt to to rationalize these
behaviors, again, that are inconsistent with the dean,
and instead of leaving these behaviors
and seeing what's waiting for you around the
corner.
It's been Maja
narrated from,
may Allah please him, that the prophet
said,
I certainly know a people of my Ummah
who will come on the day of resurrection
with good deeds like the mountains
of Tehama,
but Allah will make them scattered like dust.
Balban said, oh messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi
wasallam,
ascribe them to us
and tell us more.
So that
we will not become of the unknowingly.
He said, they are your brothers
and from your race,
worshiping at night as you do,
but there will be people who, when they
are alone,
transgress
the sacred limits of Allah.
Transgress the sacred limits of Allah.
In other words,
you know, Imam Jamil used to have this
saying, people who do wise who who look
wise but do otherwise.
You know, you publicly you.
Big time Muslim, Muslim.
But privately,
you're
hellion.
You're hellion. The law says that he will
make them like scattered dust on the day
of judgment.
So again, we have to be consistent in
word, indeed. We have to be Muslim 247.
You know, work is what we must do,
investing is what we choose to do. So
we want to invest
in our hereafter.
You know, just like I'm old, you know,
some, you know, we deal with Social Security
and all that. And then I remember
working 2 or 3 jobs.
And, you know, we I used to ask,
who is this person FICA?
FICA. You know, he they've taken a bunch
of my money.
And then we found out, oh, that's Social
Security.
You know? And so
at the end of our lives, you know,
we will get
out of Social Security for the most part
what we put into it.
But then you have people who work off
the clock, or work, you know, you know,
off the books and all of that. And
then when it's time to collect social security,
there's nothing there.
And I'm using that analogy
because on the day of judgment,
based on what you invest in in this
life, is what the return you're gonna get
in the next life.
What are you investing in for the hereafter?
What deeds
are you engaging in?
You know, even as the prophet
said, even a smile is charity.
Removing an obstacle out of the way is
charity. We don't have to we can be
broke and still get accumulate good deeds.
But if we have wealth and we're giving
away that wealth, not so much so that
it replenishes
your wealth so that you can't take care
of your family. But if you have wealth,
you you get you get an opportunity to
give blessings. Just like a billionaire who gives
a a a a minuscule amount of his
wealth,
you know, compared to a person who is
poor, who gives a large amount of their
wealth, they might get a bit greater blessing
than the the billionaire
who gives the the gives away their wealth.
So we have to say, what is our
investment for the hereafter?
And only you know?
Only do you know what you do in
private.
We see what you do in public. We
do call it the Joe Harry Wendell in
psychology that, you know, there's the the the
self that you
you see and others see. And then there's
the the the the secret self
that only you know and others don't know.
And then there's the blind side that others
see and you don't see. And then there's
the subconscious. And they say in psychology, the
more you get rid of the secrets,
then your open side becomes bigger
than who you are in public or who
is who you are in private.
That's the way that works. It's called Joe
Harry window. It's developed by 2 psychologists, one
named Joe, one named Harry. But it talks
about the importance
of congruency is the word that we use.
That you're consistent in word and deed. You're
consistent
on the outside
as well as on the inside. And so
as Muslims, we have to have that level
of consistency.
Allah does not change us until we change
that which is in our hearts. If I've
said anything that's inconsistent with what Allah has
given us and the prophet peace be upon
him has real modeled for us, I take
full responsibility for that. If I have said
anything in which you have gained some new
insight as always. All praise belongs to Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
O Allah send peace and blessings
upon our prophet
Muhammad and his family and his companions.
Allah increase his honor and elevate his station,
grant him the highest place in paradise
and bless him with your divine mercy. Oh
Allah, bless us with his intercession
on the day of judgment and forgive our
sons, our sins.
Abu Saeed Khudriddhi reported that the messenger of
Allah
said, whoever says I am pleased with Allah
as his lord,
with Islam as a religion, and with Mohammed
as a messenger,
he must be given paradise.
And again, it's not just verbalizing
that, but it's actualizing
that.
You show your pleasure
of having Allah as your Lord. You show
your pleasure of having Islam as your deen.
You show your pleasure of having the prophet,
peace be upon him, as as your example.
So we have to actualize that. We have
to do that. Be consistent in that.
You
know, we have to work on getting rid
of character defects. We have to work on
getting rid of of of behaviors
that push us further and further and further
away from worship.
And in the work that I do, people
often have to go
all the way to their childhood. I have
people do their life stories in 10 year
increments.
And then you see how certain character defects
started to come into play.
You know, we call them family of origin
issues.
Family of origin issues. And so a lot
of the behaviors that we have
have been rooted in maybe dysfunctional families.
I always tell people that I work with,
I said, and if as parents,
you can impact
2 or 3 generations. You can impact your
children,
and you can then impact impact your children's
children and possibly your great grandchildren
based on how you interact
with your mate
in this on this level.
And so, like I talked about investments earlier,
we want to basically be of those who
are
investing
in our families and and and encouraging our
children to be the best Muslims that they
can possibly be. Give them that investment so
again, you're gonna have children and grandchildren and
great grandchildren
praying for you.
Imagine that.
But if
you're just this individualized
Muslim and not putting the work in,
dying alone,
and nobody praying for you. Because, again, that's
all we take to the grave, is our
deeds and the prayers of our offsprings, those
that we leave behind. That's all we take
to the grave.
That money you accumulate,
it's not gonna go past the barzakh.
All we take to the grave is our
deeds. And so what deeds are we sending
forth? That's the investment, brothers and sisters.
You know, we and again, we can't blame
our families now. We for all of us,
we we're adults for the most part.
We have control of our lives, and so
we have to invest in positive change.
Abu Hazbar reported
that the prophet
said, who is the true wrestler?
They said, one who throws his opponent down.
The prophet
said, the wrestler of all wrestlers is a
man who is intensely angry,
whose face turns red, and whose hair bristles.
Then he wrestles against his anger.
He wrestles against his anger.
In other words, controlling your anger, controlling your
emotions.
That's the true wrestler. And so we have
to wrestle with ourselves because anger
is a major cause of fitness in the
society. I was talking to a brother this
morning about a man. He was a judge,
and went to school.
You know, in fear of anger and also
intoxicants
intoxication,
killed his wife. Shot his wife.
Shot his wife of, you know, well over,
I think, 30 years.
And probably didn't remember it because, again, intoxicants,
just like anger, contribute to many of the
problems in this society. We have to continue
again to work on ourselves emotionally.
And if there's an issue with substances that
are not prescribed
by a licensed not just licensed, but an
ethical physician,
you
know,
we should we should work to change it.
Because that's some people, you know, they'll go
to the street pharmacist,
you know, or, you know, and they'll go
to the doctor and lie. And I've seen
that happen.
And then they they get drugs that, you
know, are prescribed for certain things. So we
have to, as Muslims, work on ourselves, brothers
and sisters,
We have to work on ourselves,
and it's not over till it's over.
It's not over till it's over.
Even the Ba'ath, radiAllahu Anhu, said that the
messenger of Allah,
he said,
take advantage
of 5 before 5.
Your youth before old age,
your health before illness, your richness before poverty,
your free time before work, and your life
before death.
Your life
before death.
And
if you come to a law with
a mountain of sins,
if you haven't committed shirk, there's a chance
for forgiveness.
The law says, except for those who repent
and believe in Islamic monotheism
and do righteous deeds, for those, Allah will
change their sins into good deeds,
and the laws are forgiving
and most merciful.
Our lord take us not to task if
we forget or fall into error. Our lord
lay not on us a burden such as
you did lay on those who have gone
before us. Our lord lay not on us
a burden which we do not have the
power to bear and overlook our faults and
forgive us and have mercy on us. You
are a protector and grant us a victory
over the disbelieving people.