Mustafa Khattab – Why Some Muslim Marriages Fail part 2 2
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The speaker discusses the reasons for divorce in Islam, including the lack of common ground in relationships, the restriction of marriage after divorce, and issues with couples not showing respect towards Allah Subhanahu wa'ala. They emphasize the importance of showing respect towards Islam and not just getting married to someone who is not your friend. The speaker also discusses various ways to get a divorce, including chatting with sister from Canada or the US or Europe, using Yahoo, Messenger, or Facebook, and getting a chat for the sister. They also discuss deception and deception in Islam, including deception to the Canadian government and deception to the Muslim government. Number 5 is a marriage that is not acceptable in Islam, and number 7 is a brother and sister who act like non Muslim while married to a non non Muslim woman. They claim to be a brother who is not fulfilling their role as a guardian of the house and take money from the sister. The sister is not fulfilling their role as a
AI: Summary ©
I bear witness that there is none worthy
of our worship except Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
and I bear witness that Muhammad
is the seal of the prophets
and the final messenger to all of humanity.
The most truthful and trusted speech is the
Quran, the book of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And the best guidance
for us Muslims is the character and the
personality of the prophet
So today, inshallah, we'll continue talking about the
problem
at hand, and this problem is divorce in
the Muslim community in the West.
And as I said last time, people call
on a daily basis and come to my
office to get a divorce.
Alhamdulillah,
not all the, people who come to my
office get a divorce. I try to make
peace,
but there are so many cases in which
you have to give them divorce or they
they will kill each other off. They're fighting
day and night.
So I try to make peace.
The reason I'm talking about this is because
it's a very common problem in our society.
And the reason I'm talking about it is
to give you a heads up, a precaution
so you don't fall in this problem, and
if you know someone in your family who
are afraid you can advise them to the
best way
to solving this problem.
The second reason
is there are so many reasons for divorce.
And I, Insha'Allah, in this Khutba, the one
before and probably the next time, we'll cover
the top ten reasons why
divorces are so high in the Muslim community.
So if you plan in the future to
marry your daughter or your sister, you keep
these reasons in your mind so you don't
fall
in these reasons that lead to divorce.
We mentioned last time that the first reason
for not having a successful marriage is that
deen
or Taqwa is not there in the relationship.
And the prophet says,
before you get married,
you have to look for the deen, a
person has to be righteous. If you're looking
for a sister or a brother, they have
to be righteous, they have to be practicing
Islam before you marry them.
If you marry them for their beauty, they
may lose their beauty.
If you marry them for their social status,
they may lose it. If you marry them
for their money, they might lose their money,
but the deen will always be there in
the relationship.
So always look for the deen,
the taqwa, the righteousness, the piety in the
relationship.
You have to marry someone who's practicing the
deen, and the prophet
said that this would lead to a successful
marriage. Otherwise, you'll be a loser.
The second reason is there is no connection
with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala after marriage. There
is no remembering of Allah. There is no
salah. There is no coming to the masjid.
People are not practicing.
And if you are not showing respect to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, how can you show
respect to to your wife or your husband?
You see? And if you don't show respect
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, if you are
not connected to Allah,
how can Allah bless this marriage?
Number 3, there's no chemistry.
The third reason we mentioned last time was
no chemistry.
Most likely because the couple that got married
at a very end age, they didn't know
what marriage is. They're just mad for the
desire.
They're just mad because their parents told them
to, but there's no chemistry in the relationship.
They don't have any common ground.
She hates everything he likes.
He likes everything she hates. There's no connection.
So in this case, this divorce will eventually
leads,
this marriage will eventually leads or ends in
divorce.
The 4th reason,
we mentioned last time, is when the daughter
is forced into a marriage.
Especially,
your daughter, if she is living here, and
you force her to marry your nephew back
home, she doesn't like him, he doesn't speak
English, there's there's no chemistry in the relationship,
this marriage most likely would end in divorce.
Your daughter will live a miserable life, and
eventually, she will have a divorce, and forcing
someone to get married against their free will
is prohibited in Islam. This is not permissible.
Of course, you can marry your daughter, you
can arrange marriage for your daughter back back
home, but you have to make sure that
you are marrying her to someone she likes,
someone that she can relate to.
Number 5,
marriage
for immigration purposes.
And this is a very common problem in
the Muslim society. We know that our youth,
especially the brothers back home, they have a
lot of problems, economic problems, social problems, political
corruption, and so on and so forth.
Some of them try to do it the
hard way
by jumping into the Mediterranean
Sea, trying to immigrate to Italy or France.
They die on the way, most of them.
Some of them are smart.
They do it the easy way. And the
easiest way is to chat to a sister
from Canada or the US or Europe over,
Yahoo, Messenger, or Facebook,
and
to make a chat for the sister, she
will sponsor you to come here, and as
soon as you get your citizenship,
the same day you get your citizenship or
green card, you say to the sister,
That is thank you, sister. Goodbye
in Spanish.
Okay?
Fa' this is not Islamic.
This is the deception. Okay?
So marrying with the intention of divorce in
your hand is not acceptable in Islam. It
is haram
because it is based on deception,
and a Muslim is not a deceiver.
A Muslim is not a deceiver because we
said before,
you are not dealing with the people. You
are dealing with Rav
they do it also the easy way, they
marry a non Muslim lady. They pay her
on a monthly basis. She's living with someone
else. She is married to him on paper.
And after the end of that period, they
give her a divorce, and he gets his
citizenship. This is not acceptable in Islam
because it is based on deception
to the Canadian government or to the, Muslim
government, and this is not acceptable in Islam.
So it is not permissible in Islam
to get involved in such relationships
and just to get the just to get
the citizenship.
There is no dignity. There is no honor.
There is no amana, amana majiroo, aplat majiroo,
and you have to show respect to Islam,
you have to show respect to Allah, and
you have to show respect to the marriage.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala summons zarajah through Quran,
wa athadna minkummi faltan bali.
Marriage is a very serious commitment.
Don't take it lightly,
and don't make fun of the ayahs and
the teachings of Allah Subhanahu Wa'ala.
Number 5
for getting a divorce actually, number 6 number
6
is before the marriage,
the brother and the sister, they act. They
pretend to be someone they are not.
They give the Oscars, they act. Okay? The
brother pretends to be a very righteous brother.
He doesn't pray.
He doesn't do anything, but as soon as
he proposes to this sister, masha'allah alaihishim, coming
to the masjid, crying in the salah, everything,
then after the marriage, you don't see him
no more. And the same is also true
for the sister. They're not very clear about
themselves.
They're not very clear about their personality. The
sister also, if she is not,
wearing the hijab, if she is not practicing,
as soon as she knows the brother is
proposing,
she will start to wear decent clothes and
stuff.
Then after the marriage, the brother will realize
he has got a marriage to a monastery.
And the sister will find out that she
has got a marriage to a dragon.
They are
pretending to be practicing Babi Arnaud. And, again,
this is based on deception, and most of
these marriages will always end in divorce. You
have to be clear about yourself from the
very beginning. This is what I do.
Alhamdulillah.
This is what I can't do. These are
the problems in my personality. Please help me
to get over this.
And they will appreciate you honestly.
So number 5, number 7, actually. And I
conclude with this
is what I call the zombie dude, the
brother who gets married, and he is not
fulfilling his role in the house
as
a guardian of the house.
And this happens most of the time with
brothers,
Muslim brothers getting married to a a revert
sister.
They take advantage of the sister, they don't
give her mom.
First of all, they don't provide for the
sister even if she sponsored
the brother, she's taking care of him for
years, and he's not helping in the house.
And this will lie, happened several times. The
new Muslim sister would come and complain, the
brother is not paying anything.
And in one case,
the brother is not providing for his non
Muslim. Why? And I asked why. He said
because she is not Muslim. Why should I
provide for her?
Okay.
So it is not permissible. This is the
mentality. This is not permissible for you to
provide for her because she is not Muslim,
but it is permissible for you to take
money from her although she is non Muslim.
The Sumal brothers have a very wonderful,
saying in this case. They say, batigah ma'ulu
lakid ma'atisanapa.
They say,
I don't eat dead meat, but I eat
the souff of dead meat.
This is precisely the same thing. You're not
providing for the sister because she is Muslim,
but you are taking money from her, although
she is non Muslim. This is the same
thing. We'll continue next time inshaAllah.