Mustafa Khattab – The Sahaba 8 8

Mustafa Khattab
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The speaker discusses the importance of understanding the relationship between a husband and his wife before divorce. They provide examples from the prophet's teachings about love, mercy, and harmony, and encourage people to be more patient with their husbands. The speaker also emphasizes the need for more patientity with their husbands before divorce.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:56 --> 00:00:58
			So before we start, insha'Allah, there are 2
		
00:00:58 --> 00:00:59
			sections
		
00:00:59 --> 00:01:01
			in the men's area and 2 sections in
		
00:01:01 --> 00:01:03
			the ladies area. It is better if you
		
00:01:03 --> 00:01:05
			have kids who keep crying. It's a lot.
		
00:01:05 --> 00:01:07
			It's better to pray in the area in
		
00:01:07 --> 00:01:09
			the back. So if the kids cry,
		
00:01:10 --> 00:01:11
			nobody will hear them and the rest of
		
00:01:11 --> 00:01:13
			the machine and also it will not affect
		
00:01:13 --> 00:01:15
			the for sure of other people.
		
00:01:15 --> 00:01:18
			Because technically, some people drive long distances.
		
00:01:18 --> 00:01:21
			They leave their work. They leave their families.
		
00:01:21 --> 00:01:23
			They drive their cars. They pay for gas,
		
00:01:23 --> 00:01:26
			and they come here, and all all they
		
00:01:26 --> 00:01:28
			hear is scraping in the salah. So they
		
00:01:28 --> 00:01:30
			don't get any for sure in the salah.
		
00:01:30 --> 00:01:31
			So please,
		
00:01:31 --> 00:01:32
			we need to help one another to get
		
00:01:32 --> 00:01:33
			for sure
		
00:02:40 --> 00:02:42
			understanding in the relationship between a husband and
		
00:02:42 --> 00:02:45
			wife. And we'll give a couple of examples
		
00:02:45 --> 00:02:47
			from the prophet salaam and the Sahaba.
		
00:02:48 --> 00:02:50
			It breaks my heart literally
		
00:02:50 --> 00:02:51
			every day
		
00:02:52 --> 00:02:53
			to hear people
		
00:02:54 --> 00:02:56
			calling me every time I open my email.
		
00:02:57 --> 00:02:57
			Okay?
		
00:02:57 --> 00:02:59
			I want a divorce. Okay?
		
00:02:59 --> 00:03:02
			Fax machine. I want a divorce. People sending
		
00:03:03 --> 00:03:03
			telegrams.
		
00:03:04 --> 00:03:06
			People sending letters in bottles, and they throw
		
00:03:06 --> 00:03:07
			them emotions.
		
00:03:08 --> 00:03:10
			In every possible way, people are calling, coming
		
00:03:10 --> 00:03:13
			in person, okay, I want a divorce. Yesterday,
		
00:03:13 --> 00:03:16
			someone was coming to know he wanted to
		
00:03:16 --> 00:03:18
			know about Islam, and I I gave him
		
00:03:18 --> 00:03:20
			the full time because the brother was interested
		
00:03:20 --> 00:03:21
			in Islam.
		
00:03:21 --> 00:03:23
			And all of a sudden, I got a
		
00:03:23 --> 00:03:24
			knock on my door,
		
00:03:24 --> 00:03:27
			the brother and sister from one country
		
00:03:27 --> 00:03:28
			in
		
00:03:28 --> 00:03:28
			Africa,
		
00:03:29 --> 00:03:31
			and she said, my husband she she was
		
00:03:31 --> 00:03:33
			in tears, and she said, my husband wants
		
00:03:33 --> 00:03:35
			to divorce me because I'm black.
		
00:03:36 --> 00:03:39
			Okay? And both of them, you know, are
		
00:03:39 --> 00:03:39
			black.
		
00:03:39 --> 00:03:41
			The the country where they live, they are
		
00:03:41 --> 00:03:42
			black. Okay?
		
00:03:42 --> 00:03:44
			So I said, first of all, you have
		
00:03:44 --> 00:03:46
			to take an appointment before you come because
		
00:03:46 --> 00:03:48
			this is a big issue. Number I have
		
00:03:48 --> 00:03:50
			someone and and I have an appointment.
		
00:03:50 --> 00:03:52
			And number 2, did he know that you
		
00:03:52 --> 00:03:55
			were black before he got married? Or something
		
00:03:55 --> 00:03:57
			happened, or you lost your color? What happened?
		
00:03:58 --> 00:04:00
			And she said, he's not happy with my
		
00:04:00 --> 00:04:02
			color. And I said, first of all, he
		
00:04:02 --> 00:04:04
			is black. You are black. Your kids are
		
00:04:04 --> 00:04:05
			black. So what's going on?
		
00:04:06 --> 00:04:08
			She said, I don't know. So I spoke
		
00:04:08 --> 00:04:09
			to him. He said, I don't know. I
		
00:04:09 --> 00:04:11
			said, you guys, you don't know. How can
		
00:04:11 --> 00:04:13
			I know? Go home and come back 2
		
00:04:13 --> 00:04:15
			years, inshallah. After 2 years, take an appointment.
		
00:04:15 --> 00:04:17
			What's go what's going on?
		
00:04:18 --> 00:04:20
			People are going nuts. They want to divorce
		
00:04:20 --> 00:04:23
			for no reason. They just make up excuses
		
00:04:23 --> 00:04:25
			to come for divorce. Again,
		
00:04:25 --> 00:04:27
			there is no Muwanda in
		
00:04:46 --> 00:04:48
			So Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says in the
		
00:04:48 --> 00:04:50
			Quran that one of the signs, one of
		
00:04:50 --> 00:04:52
			the miracles of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is
		
00:04:52 --> 00:04:54
			that He created for us spouses,
		
00:04:54 --> 00:04:56
			husbands and wives so that we can live
		
00:04:56 --> 00:04:58
			with them in Mawatta and Rahim.
		
00:04:59 --> 00:05:03
			And this translates to, love, mercy, understanding, harmony,
		
00:05:03 --> 00:05:04
			respect.
		
00:05:06 --> 00:05:09
			Indeed, in this science for people who reflect.
		
00:05:10 --> 00:05:10
			If
		
00:05:12 --> 00:05:16
			because of financial problems, because of psychological problems
		
00:05:16 --> 00:05:18
			that people have, they want to divorce. It's
		
00:05:18 --> 00:05:20
			like people are going crazy.
		
00:05:21 --> 00:05:23
			I don't know. I don't know what's going
		
00:05:23 --> 00:05:25
			on, and I thought maybe when I give
		
00:05:25 --> 00:05:27
			a series of footballs a few months ago,
		
00:05:27 --> 00:05:30
			I gave 3 footballs about the boss, hoping
		
00:05:30 --> 00:05:33
			that it will diffuse the situation, nobody will
		
00:05:33 --> 00:05:35
			come for the boss. But now, alhamdulillah,
		
00:05:35 --> 00:05:37
			more and more people are coming
		
00:05:37 --> 00:05:39
			for the boss. I wish I I never
		
00:05:39 --> 00:05:41
			gave the footballs. I wish I never gave
		
00:05:41 --> 00:05:42
			those footballs.
		
00:05:45 --> 00:05:46
			I'll
		
00:05:49 --> 00:05:51
			just, say it openly. I'm mad.
		
00:06:09 --> 00:06:11
			She said, she said, come to that, we're
		
00:06:11 --> 00:06:13
			from Adam. We're humans and everything.
		
00:06:14 --> 00:06:15
			Okay? So he went to his dad and
		
00:06:15 --> 00:06:16
			said, dad dad.
		
00:06:17 --> 00:06:19
			I asked my mom about the origin of
		
00:06:19 --> 00:06:21
			man, and she she said, you know, we
		
00:06:21 --> 00:06:23
			are from Adam Alaihi Salam. She said, no.
		
00:06:23 --> 00:06:25
			No. No. Don't listen to your mom. We
		
00:06:25 --> 00:06:26
			are monkeys.
		
00:06:26 --> 00:06:30
			Okay? Man is from monkeys. Okay? The theory
		
00:06:30 --> 00:06:32
			of evolution, Darwin, and all that stuff.
		
00:06:32 --> 00:06:34
			So the son ran to his mom and
		
00:06:34 --> 00:06:35
			said,
		
00:06:36 --> 00:06:37
			you were teaching me wrong.
		
00:06:37 --> 00:06:40
			You said, we are from Adam, but my
		
00:06:40 --> 00:06:42
			dad told me that we are from monkeys.
		
00:06:43 --> 00:06:46
			She said, my son, there's no contradiction here.
		
00:06:46 --> 00:06:48
			When I said, we are from humans, I
		
00:06:48 --> 00:06:49
			was talking about my family.
		
00:06:50 --> 00:06:52
			When he said we are a few monkeys,
		
00:06:52 --> 00:06:54
			he was talking about his families,
		
00:06:55 --> 00:06:57
			so there's no conflict here.
		
00:08:30 --> 00:08:32
			And he was busy with Dawah teaching the
		
00:08:32 --> 00:08:33
			Sahaba,
		
00:08:33 --> 00:08:36
			defending Madinah, receiving delegations, sending delegations.
		
00:08:36 --> 00:08:39
			He didn't have time, but still, as reported
		
00:08:39 --> 00:08:42
			in the authentic Hadid and Sahib Muslim in
		
00:08:42 --> 00:08:44
			Muslim al Imam Ahmad, the prophet
		
00:08:45 --> 00:08:46
			was in the service of his family.
		
00:08:47 --> 00:08:50
			He was cleaning the house, hatching his clothes,
		
00:08:50 --> 00:08:52
			fixing his shoes, milking his goats,
		
00:08:53 --> 00:08:55
			keeping the house clean in order.
		
00:08:56 --> 00:08:56
			And the prophet
		
00:08:57 --> 00:08:59
			if you look at him, he was terribly
		
00:08:59 --> 00:09:01
			busy. He didn't have no time, but still
		
00:09:01 --> 00:09:03
			he was helping and he was taking care
		
00:09:03 --> 00:09:05
			of the house. Some of the brothers here,
		
00:09:05 --> 00:09:07
			and I'm not talking about you. You're good
		
00:09:07 --> 00:09:07
			people.
		
00:09:08 --> 00:09:11
			Some of the brothers, when they go home,
		
00:09:11 --> 00:09:13
			they feel like they're going to a hotel
		
00:09:13 --> 00:09:15
			then, a hotel. They go for some services
		
00:09:15 --> 00:09:18
			to sleep, and to eat, and leave, and
		
00:09:18 --> 00:09:19
			check out. Right?
		
00:09:20 --> 00:09:21
			And some of the sisters, the way they
		
00:09:21 --> 00:09:23
			deal with their husbands, they deal as if
		
00:09:23 --> 00:09:24
			he's the financier.
		
00:09:25 --> 00:09:27
			They he just the money man. He just,
		
00:09:27 --> 00:09:28
			you know, then he leaves.
		
00:09:29 --> 00:09:29
			Therefore,
		
00:09:30 --> 00:09:31
			some sisters,
		
00:09:32 --> 00:09:32
			the most
		
00:09:33 --> 00:09:36
			frequently word that some sister use after they
		
00:09:36 --> 00:09:37
			get married is
		
00:09:38 --> 00:09:40
			give, give, give. She never uses the word
		
00:09:40 --> 00:09:41
			take.
		
00:09:41 --> 00:09:43
			And they have this joke back home in,
		
00:09:43 --> 00:09:44
			in Egypt.
		
00:09:44 --> 00:09:46
			Someone protested to his wife and he said,
		
00:09:46 --> 00:09:49
			we have been married for 7 years, and
		
00:09:49 --> 00:09:51
			he almost used the word give give give,
		
00:09:51 --> 00:09:53
			and he never used the word take take
		
00:09:53 --> 00:09:55
			take. So she said, find the fridge is
		
00:09:55 --> 00:09:57
			broken, take it, fix it.
		
00:10:59 --> 00:11:02
			So we conclude with this story for Muhammad
		
00:11:03 --> 00:11:06
			before the Khalifa, before he became the Khalifa,
		
00:11:06 --> 00:11:08
			he was very firm. I mean, you don't
		
00:11:08 --> 00:11:10
			play game games with him.
		
00:11:10 --> 00:11:12
			In several Hadith, when somebody
		
00:11:12 --> 00:11:15
			said something or did something in the presence
		
00:11:15 --> 00:11:17
			of the prophet that Omar didn't like,
		
00:11:18 --> 00:11:20
			of course, he wanted to rip off the
		
00:11:20 --> 00:11:21
			head of the guy right away. And the
		
00:11:21 --> 00:11:22
			prophet
		
00:11:22 --> 00:11:25
			told him, and several hadith, leave them alone.
		
00:11:25 --> 00:11:25
			Leave them alone.
		
00:11:26 --> 00:11:29
			So after Umar Radilohal became the khalifa, subhanAllah,
		
00:11:29 --> 00:11:31
			something happened.
		
00:11:31 --> 00:11:33
			His his heart was softened,
		
00:11:34 --> 00:11:36
			and you see for example in in the
		
00:11:36 --> 00:11:37
			story for example,
		
00:11:37 --> 00:11:39
			there are several stories, but we'll focus on
		
00:11:39 --> 00:11:40
			this one for now.
		
00:12:51 --> 00:12:53
			So the man came to Umar to complain
		
00:12:53 --> 00:12:54
			about his wife
		
00:12:54 --> 00:12:57
			because she used to raise up her voice,
		
00:12:57 --> 00:12:58
			and
		
00:12:58 --> 00:13:00
			the husband was not happy about this. When
		
00:13:00 --> 00:13:02
			he went to Omar to complain to him,
		
00:13:02 --> 00:13:03
			and Omar's wife
		
00:13:04 --> 00:13:05
			was raising her voice
		
00:13:06 --> 00:13:08
			to Omar. So if she is here and,
		
00:13:08 --> 00:13:10
			you know, you were at
		
00:13:23 --> 00:13:25
			complain about my wife. He says, you have
		
00:13:25 --> 00:13:29
			a more terrible problem than me. So said,
		
00:13:29 --> 00:13:31
			we should be more patient with him. They
		
00:13:31 --> 00:13:33
			go through things that we don't go through.
		
00:13:33 --> 00:13:34
			The pregnancy,
		
00:13:34 --> 00:13:37
			the monthly period, taking care of the kids,
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:40
			doing the dishes, changing the diaper, cooking, and
		
00:13:40 --> 00:13:42
			doing all that stuff. We're gonna do these
		
00:13:42 --> 00:13:43
			things.
		
00:13:44 --> 00:13:46
			So they're always stressed out. So we need
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:48
			to be more patient with them, and we
		
00:13:48 --> 00:13:50
			will con continue with the next