Mustafa Khattab – Power of Sorry 2
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of apologizing for past mistakes and the need for leaders to forgive them. They also touch on the meaning of Kover in the story of the prophet's advice to leaders and the importance of avoiding apologizing for past mistakes and learning to avoid causing mental and physical harm. The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding apologizing for past mistakes and learning to avoid permanent scar in one's heart.
AI: Summary ©
Because we make mistakes all the time. That's
the prophet says
that we, as human beings, we make mistakes
all the time. But the best among us
are those who are tense and those who
apologize
and mend their ways.
When it comes to sin
or falling into sin or making a mistake
or, doing something wrong, people are classified into
4 different groups.
Those who make a mistake
and deny,
and those who make a mistake
then lie,
and those who make a mistake
then justify,
and those who make a mistake
then apologize.
Just for the right.
So, the first the first group, those who
make a mistake and they distance themselves from
the mistake. They don't talk about it.
They don't bring me to anybody's attention. And
this happens all the time. You hear stories
about hit and hit and run accidents.
Somebody's walking in the street and this person
is run over by someone driving their car,
or you're parking your car and parking it
in your house and someone just they hit
your car and and they run. And, you
don't know anything about what happened or you
who didn't. You wake up in the morning,
your car is dented, then nobody's claiming responsibility
for what happened. So this is the first
time. Those who,
those who make a decision, they keep quiet.
Okay. Maybe an innocent person would be,
punished for it. Maybe he will go and
nobody will notice. So there are different types
of of of cases in this case. The
second type, those who make a mistake and
lie.
And this happens a lot. Someone will do
something.
Then, if it comes out,
now everybody knows about it, then they will
deny that they did it, or it will
basically delay it in somebody else. So it's
always someone else. And this happens a lot
with kids.
You wake up in the morning, all the
candy in the fridge is gone. And you
see your kids and chop them in their
faces. Everybody, you know, has candy on their
faces.
I didn't do it. Right? Not me. I'm
innocent.
So this happens all the time.
The third time, which is also worse than
the first two,
those who justify it. Right?
So, for example, they will do something wrong,
and they will say this is why I
did it, and they are lying about the
justification.
So the justification
is worse than the action itself.
So for example,
you read in the Quran in the story
of Iblis.
So here it's used to the extent that
to,
Adam, alayhis salaam, And this is this is
not
the that he was not one of
the
in. So he
was one of the.
He refused to make said that to Adam,
alaihis salam, thinking that he was better than
him
because they are created of light, and light
is better than fire. But in any way,
you comply to Allah and they made sadra.
But shaitan justified
why he didn't make the sadra, why he
didn't prostrate himself to Adam.
So when he refused to make sadra, that
was a mistake.
And if he apologized,
then the result would have been different. But
he insisted that what he did was the
right thing, and he justified.
He said, how can I come how can
I make sense that to someone you created
from mud and you created me from fight?
I'm better than him.
I I don't need to apologize.
There's nothing I did wrong. I'm not gonna
do anything about it. So this is why
he was kicked out of the mercy of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. The 4th fight, which
is also in the story of Adam and
the Shaifa,
when Shaifa refused to be silent,
those who make a mistake and they apologize.
They come forward and they say, yes.
I acknowledge I made something wrong, and acknowledge
that that was not the right thing, and
here is my apology.
The Surah Al Abed, when he ate from
the tree, and Allah told
him don't go there.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala inspired me
to apologize
in this way.
These were the words. They said, yeah, Allah.
We made a mistake,
and we wronged ourselves.
And if you don't forgive us, we'll be
among the losers and the doomed.
So that was the apology. He apologized to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So why don't people
refuse to apologize?
As I said last time, because for them,
this is the, this is, yeah, in a
sign of weakness.
Yeah. You see, for example,
the the the father where he used to
apologize to his children if he did something
wrong.
Or the husband will refuse to apologize to
his his what? Provides for his or the
teacher will refuse to apologize to a student
if they did something wrong because they think
that these people will think I'm weak, and
nobody will ever have respect for me. And
this happens a lot with leaders, especially back
home.
Disasters happen. Hundreds of people die or thousands
of people die in accidents and stuff. You
will never see a leader back home who
will come forward and apologize for any mistake
or anything that happened in the past. They
will try to justify
or they will blame it with somebody else.
Maybe you're gonna fire a minister
or whatever
so people will be quiet. Okay. Or he
will say, inshallah, we'll make it an investigation.
And it will take them about a 100
years, no results, nothing nobody knows what happened.
And this is something that we're good at
back home, that, we always forget the next
morning.
Because once something happened, we are met,
spontaneously,
then the next day, tell us. We forget.
We think about something else. Or they would
come out and they would say, you know,
This is the,
this is the style they use, the reasoning
they use to justify what happened and to
escape,
punishment
or the consequences
of the wrong that happened.
So for some people, it's a sign of
weakness if you apologize.
And we said that this is not the
case. It's a sign of courage, it's a
sign of integrity, and it's a sign of
humility.
You see,
there are a lot of leaders who come
out and they apologize,
And this makes their people
or their countries, they forget
the mistake that was done or the wrong
that was done.
A lot of people were angry with president
Clinton back in the 19 nineties
because of what happened, Monica Lewinsky and all
that story. And he lied.
Eventually, when he came off and he said,
yes. I admit I did it, and I
apologize.
Because a lot of people forgave him because
he had the courage to come out and
apologize.
And they should not justify or run for
responsibility.
You see in the story of Musa al
Islam, we refer to this, passing the last
night.
So when he came back to the pharaoh,
So when he came back to advise him,
so pharaoh said, didn't we raise you as
a child,
and you stayed under our care for so
many years, then you did what you did,
killing the Egyptian unintentionally by mistake. So that
was the thing he did. What I'm telling
on Kafir,
when you were or being ungrateful
to all the favors that we have done
for you, this is the meaning of Kafir
in here.
He said, I did it. I admit I
did it
when I was in a state
of ignorance or I did it when I
was lacking the right guidance.
This is the meaning of tawir in here.
That I didn't have the right guidance
So in this story,
the prophet was talking to some leaders,
he leads people, the prominent leaders of Mecca,
he was giving them Dawah.
And all of a sudden Abdullah ibn Muhamakkum,
he gave him his mind.
And he approached the prophet and he wanted
to learn more about ad Dinim or he
had some question. So the prophet
was in the middle of the discussion, so
he didn't give him
his full attention. He didn't talk to him.
He said, wait a minute.
But Abdullah ibn Abdulaziz, he wanted
to do it right away.
And this happens sometime. You are in the
middle of a discussion and someone would, you
know, they would like you. I want it
now. Do it now. Do it now. Like,
one time,
we're in the middle of a janazah in
Edmonton.
A youth died in an accident. The community
was devastating.
His funeral was so big, but
literally at least 5 or 7,000 people showed
up for this funeral.
So I'm there after the janaza, we're taking
the body out to the graveyard,
and this brother came to me and he
took my clothes like this and he said,
I wanna talk to you. I said, but
I'm busy now. Can you come back?
No. Now. I wanna do it now. So
I said, what do you want to do
now? He said, I wanna divorce my wife.
I said, get out of here, man. Come
come out of here. He
said, can
what can you do? So in this story,
the prophet
Yami was he couldn't give his full attention
to Abu Lahti ibn Matl because he was
busy with someone else,
and the prophet was not happy about the
attitude of Abdullah ibn Mutu. Then the person
were revealed telling the prophet that you should
have given him your attention
because he wanted to be guided, but these
people from Makkari will not be guided
anyway. So save your time, save your breath,
cause.
Whenever the prophet said that met Abdullah Abu
Mabtoum after this, he used to honor him
welcome to the one regarding whom Allah subhanahu
wa'ala rebuked
me.
Some of Muslims did say that how can
a something like this happen? It is true
that the,
the guy in Surah Al Asad doesn't mention
the name of the prophet
clearly,
and they say, well, this is not good
that the prophet did something like this, and
it should be someone else, not him. Well,
this is a proof that the Quran is
from Allah subhanahu alayhi.
If the prophet
was criticized
in the Quran because he did something,
then he would have taken this chapter or
this verse and he would have thrown it
out of the Quran. But the fact that
it is there,
criticism, and it is there in the Quran,
recited for 1000 of years by millions of
Muslims, that this is a sign that this
Quran is from the laws of Hadam had.
And the prophet is honest
about to obeyed the Hasid from the Quran.
So he didn't get it what was revealed
to him. So this is an example.
Also,
we are called in Islamic literature
about the way you can apologize.
There are so many different ways. Now, you
say, for example, sometimes you have to say
something. Come forward and say, well, I made
a mistake.
Maybe you can say it with words. Sometimes,
you don't have to say anything.
Like, for example,
if you don't want to start an argument
with your wife, for example, because you're always
coming late or maybe your wife is always
burning the food as we said last time,
you don't have to talk about it because
one thing may lead to another.
Then, in this case, if you just give
your spouse a flower
or a thank you, love you, or
a postcard that says so or something like
this, this would be enough.
Say for example,
you said something bad about a brother or
sister behind their backs.
And, I think if you go up to
them, no matter how you try to explain
or apologize,
this will leave a scar in their hearts.
So, the best thing is to go back
to the same group that you backdate and
you brought up and tell them well, what
I did was wrong, I shouldn't have said
this and this product or this sister is
a good person.
If you took someone,
unjustly from another person,
then you have to give it back to
them either in person
or just like you took it,
self made.
You made it, like, a plan or something.
They they put it may use a plan
to put it back. So it depends on
the situation.
And. This is false,
and the prophet
is highly exalted about about saying false.
So the chief said, yes. You are right.
The prophet didn't do it. And this, the
chief came forward, and he said, last time,
I said something. I was corrected by a
young brother, and this is the right,
Fatima, this is the right answer. So he
didn't have the
the arrogance to deny or to justify and
so on and so forth.
So I listen to take someone first to
come forward and say that I apologize
for what I did.
So this is why when someone comes to
you with an apology
and it took them all the
mental activity and all the courage and all
the prophet
of
I forgive you.
You look at the story of Yushu alaihis
salam and his brothers, they did what they
did, they tried to kill him, they conspired
against him, and because of them, he was
sold in slavery,
taken away from his land, taken away from
his family for so many years, and he
was thrown in jail because of them or
what they did initially.
But when they came at the end and
they said, You, alhamdulillah,
we made a mistake and Allah
elevated you above us, or he preferred you
or favored you above us.
He said, tell
us
You are afraid.
I have nothing against you in my heart,
and I'll allow him to forgive you.
So he went to the prophet and he
complained.
So the prophet
called Abulam and said, did you call him
the import?
Someone said, yes, You Rasulullah. I have been.
So the prophet
told Abulam
you are a person who still has some
qualities of the days of ignorance.
This racism is from the days of ignorance,
from the days of Jadim.
So Abu Nala al Dinu said,
I wish I died before I heard this
mala Surah. I wish I never heard these
words. Then he put his face on the
ground, and he told Bilal alaihi wa'am,
please put your foot on my face.
Put your foot, your shoe on my face
as a way of apologizing.
So Bilal alayhi wa'am refused this and how
can I put my shoe or my foot
on the face of someone reprayed you, Allah,
and they put their face on the ground
for Allah? I can never do this.
He didn't see the prophet because he was
so angry. He was in the middle of
the beating.
So he heard someone say,
The prophet called him.
Know that we're keeping you in mind that
Allah
is more punishing
you than you are of him.
So he got the whip,
and he looked at the prophet and decided
to cry. And he apologized
to the prophet and to his slave, and
he said,
bear witness
that he is free. He is a burden
that. So the prophet said, if you didn't
free him, you would have been touched or
you have been roasted by the fire.
So the prophet
actually encouraged him to apologize even to his
slave.
So in conclusion,
all of us make mistakes by day and
night. We make mistakes against Allah
and not by not doing our best or
falling short. We make mistakes
to one another
whether we're talking about the husband to a
wife or wife to a husband or parents
to children or vice versa. And to our
friends and colleagues and the people you deal
with, Muslims and non Muslims. So if you
do something wrong, come forward and apologize, and
this will clear
the situation, and this will put
and love and respect between the people. Otherwise,
one thing will lead to another, and things
will accumulate over time until they reach a
point where you cannot solve the situation.