Mustafa Khattab – Next Life 15 Kindness
AI: Summary ©
The importance of good manners is emphasized in Islam, including the need to be mindful of one's problems and avoid harm. The speaker also emphasizes understanding one's own limitations and small small deeds. The importance of smile in Prophet Muhammad's teachings and the use of negative language in public situations is emphasized. Different examples of people using negative language to harm loved ones are also discussed.
AI: Summary ©
InshaAllah, we'll continue our discussion about Adar al
Akhrah. And before we speak about death and
what happens in the grave and
Jannah, Jahannam, all these things,
we've been talking in the last couple of
months about the good deeds that we can
do in this dunya
to prepare for akhir.
And we said that some of the things
that would be heavy in our scales on
the day of judgment,
don't actually cost you any money.
They're actually free.
Most of them, for example, like afkar,
we say subhanAllah, wa hamdulillah, the afkar.
They are very pleasing to Allah
They don't cost you any money, they don't
take much of your time,
and also good manners. The prophet was asked
about the heaviest things in the scales on
the day of judgment,
to be mindful of Allah
and to have good manners, they don't cost
you anything, you don't have to pay anything.
So the good manners and the small things
here and there that we do, And, the
prophet said,
The most pleasing
deeds to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala are the
ones that are very consistent
even if they are very small.
I put 1 dollar charity in the masjid
all the time. If I see a homeless
person in the street, I give them something
to drink or something to eat. Something small,
it doesn't have to be much.
One of the the best deeds we can
do after Ibadat,
as the scholars say, is,
And I spoke about this before.
Because
each and every one of us we have
difficulties in life, and we have problems, and
you don't want people to come and dump
their own problems on your shoulders. You want
people to come and put joy on your
face and and happiness in your heart.
Just to help you out in in in
this difficult time.
I mentioned before each and every one of
us, regardless of your job, whether you are
a teacher, a cab driver, an imam, a
doctor, you have, you know,
concerns, you have worries, you have difficulties in
your life.
If you go to school, you have papers
to do, you have to deal with the
bullies,
and, if you are married then you have
problem, maybe you have issues in your house
with your kids, with your wife, or there
are some sisters with your husband. So each
one of us has issues in their lives.
And even if we don't have issues here
in Canada, maybe you have family back home
In Syria, you're trying to get them out
in Palestine,
in Iraq,
in Pakistan.
We have issues. We have, you know, concerns
and and and you need someone to come
and and help you out, not to put
problems in your back.
So I'll give you one example about myself
as an imam.
People come always come to me with their
problems. If they have a good time, they're
enjoying their life, I never see their face.
But when they have problems,
marriage issues, they're shooting shooting at each other,
calling the police with each other,
chairs,
baseball clubs, weapons of mass destruction, they're killing
each other off. Now they come to me
with their problems, and I try to help
them.
I'll give you one example.
Not sure if I mentioned the example before,
but,
one day, Eid, I was in Edmonton.
So I was getting ready to go inside
the Musalah to lead the salatul Eid, Eid
ul Adha,
and give a short talk so people can
go and change the haruf and do the
purbani.
So I'm on the way on the way
to do the salah,
a brother stopped me,
and he said, I I need counseling.
And I said, can we talk after salah
and after the talk? He said, no, it's
an emergency. I need to talk to you
right now. It's urgent. Okay.
So what is your problem? And he said,
can I divorce my wife right now?
I said, man, this is the day of
Eid. I'm going to lead Salahi, if could,
but maybe we can talk tomorrow, the day
after tomorrow, but not today. Not about divorce
and and all that stuff.
So, he said, when can I come back?
And I said, will I make an appointment
for you after 2 years? Right?
So people don't choose the right time to
come in and and and make you miserable.
One time, one brother came to me, I
was going to give food but to Jum'ah,
and normally most of the Imams before Jum'ah,
they don't eat, they don't talk to anyone.
You are focused. You you have a blender
in your head. You know, you have to
focus on what you are going to say
and, to make nice football. Right?
And he came to me, well, I have
a question. I need your help. Okay. Can
can you wait till after Jum'ah? No. I
have to ask you now. I can't sleep
at night. I need the answer. Okay. Tell
me.
He said,
Do the jinn give birth or lay eggs?
I said, get out of here, man. Leave
me alone.
Who cares about the jinn?
We have 2 types of knowledge in Islam.
The second type
So there are 2 types of knowledge in
Islam, and knowledge that if you have will
benefit you, if you don't have it will
harm you. Like the knowledge of halal and
haram. How to make a,
all these things. You have to have this
knowledge. But there is the other type of
knowledge
that if you have, it will not benefit
you. If you don't have it, it will
never harm you. Right? Like whether jinn lay
eggs or give birth, or which ear do
they Jin whisper to, like do they come
to you from the right ear or the
left? Who cares, man? Right?
So people make my life difficult sometimes,
and each one of you has similar, similar
issues.
Taban,
I spoke before about Muhammad salallahu alaihi wa
sallam, one of the things that he used
to do.
Nabi salallahu alaihi wa sallam smiled
even in the most difficult of times.
And I give the example I like to
give this example all the time. The prophet
was trying to defend the Ummah in Madinah.
He was receiving delegations, sending letters to kings,
you know, the people of Mecca were trying
to attack him,
and they were persecuting his friends, they were
killing them, and so on and so forth.
Abu Tali passed away, Khadija died, and 6
out of the 7 children of the prophet
died. So this shows you how much,
difficulties the prophet
had in his life. But one thing we
know about the prophet
for sure, as the sahaba
said,
He said we never saw anyone who smiled
more than the prophet
so he had this smile on his face,
not only that he had a smile on
his face, but he tried to put a
smile on people's faces.
And, I have to repeat this example, I
like it so much. It's an authentic hadith
in the Nasai.
One of the Ansar, he had a little
kid,
2, 3 years old, you know, this beautiful
age.
But before that like
if they are 1 year old, you know,
If they pass through different stages in their
life, their kids. So when they are a
few months old, you know, you try to
make them laugh, you talk to them, they're
just like a stone.
They don't talk to you.
And also when they hit a certain age,
they start to talk back to you, it's
very hard to deal with it, but 2
or 3 years old, this is the best
age. Right? They smile, they laugh, they listen
to you, they like you, they argue, you
know, this is the best age. So one
of the Sahaba, the Sahaba, the Sahaba,
and the Sahaba,
so he used to come to the halakha
of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam, sorry.
With his son, 2, 3 years old. And
masha Allah it seems from this authentic hadith
he used to love his son so much.
And he used to sit in the halakha
of the prophet
and the Sahaba said he used to hug
his son and kiss him and laugh with
him.
So after some time,
So at some point he stopped coming to
the halakh of the prophet and the prophet
said, okay what happened? Why is he not
coming to the halakhah anymore? And the sahaba
said, you Rasulullah, his son died
in this beautiful age.
And, subhanallah, we love our kids and and,
even when someone has a miscarriage,
it's it's very difficult for them. I I
had a couple of miscarriages before and this
is a very difficult time.
And even if if it's still like an
embryo, still inside, but if you have a
miscarriage it's a very difficult time. Now imagine
if you have your son or daughter, 2
or 3 years old, subhanallah,
you you love them more than yourself and
if you lose them in this age and
there's nothing you can do, you feel powerless,
you you feel helpless, you feel sorry basically.
I remember a story
that happened,
I think it happened in
in in, you know, somewhere here in Canada.
And I was told the true the story,
I was not a witness, but they said
that, there was a brother,
he had a son,
and his son died, and it was summer
time, very young. He had an issue, Lukey,
I don't know what the issue was. So
his son died and his son was actually
a few months old.
And
he took his son
to the burial, of course they did small
for him and everything, and he was taking
him to the burial side, the graveyard,
and he put his son in a small
box with him in the front seat, and
he put the seat belt and everything.
And this brother had like a a shad
or a scar around his neck, and he
was driving to the graveyard
And,
so when he took a u-turn, the sun
was straight in his face.
So he felt the heat of the sun,
so automatically
he took the scarf from his neck and
he put it on his son's face to
protect him from the sun.
He was trying to protect his sahid. For
a second he assumed that his son was
alive, and the son would hurt him. So
automatically,
naturally he took it out and put it
on his son's face to protect him from
the sun. Then he started to cry. You
know, so this,
this beautiful age.
So the Prophet
went to this and he said,
He said, will you not be happy on
when you come on the day of judgment?
And wherever you go,
whenever you take you try to take one
of the gates 8 gates of Jannah, you
will find your son standing there. He will
take your hand and take you straight to
Jannah. No questions asked. He will make shafa
for you.
Gonna digress for just a few seconds.
This everyone knows that the most difficult thing
that can happen to you in your life,
if you lose a child in your life.
This is the most difficult thing.
So in this book,
he put all the hadith from the prophet
that talk about the reward that a person
gets when they lose a son. And, and
of course in all these hadith, the only
reward the person gets is Jannah. There is
no other reward, right, if the person is
patient.
So again the prophet
not only was he,
smiling but he was trying to put a
smile on someone's face. And and in this
hadith, the man who lost his son, he
started to smile and he said, You Rasoolullah,
I'm happy, Khalas. If this is what I
will get in Afra,
I'm happy, I'm pleased.
We,
I'm gonna mention a hadith from the Prophet
Muhammad will be done in just 5 minutes,
Insha'Allah.
Have al hadith, al Taburani,
other books of hadith.
The Prophet said,
The most beloved people to Allah
are those who are beneficial to people. They
help people. Right? So they are not selfish,
they are not greedy, they try to help
other people.
The most beloved thing to Allah,
the best thing that Allah likes to do
is when you put a smile on someone's
face. This is in the authentic hadith.
I will text you for Anhu Korba or
to remove a hardship or a difficulty from
someone. You see someone's suffering,
you try to help them, and this is
very pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
You pay off their debt.
You feed them when they are very hungry.
And the Prophet said, If I walk with
my brother to fulfill a need they have,
this is better for me than doing a
tikaf in in in the masjid in Madinah.
For example, if someone is proposing to a
sister and he doesn't have a family with
him, you go with him to help him
propose, alhamdulillah, give that a word. Someone is
looking for a job, you go to the
land, you know, the
employer and tell them, mashaAllah, this is a
good brother, and maybe give them a job.
If you do then
this is better than doing a tikka for
a whole month.
When you are very angry,
like sometimes people they push your button and
they make you like go crazy, but if
you control your anger, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
will cover you with his rama.
And if you control your anger, we are
very mad,
and if you are able to,
translate your anger into destruction, like you you
give someone a black eye, you break their
neck, but you still hold yourself and control
yourself, Allah
will fill your heart with contentment
and satisfaction,
gratification
on the day of judgment.
And when you walk with your brother until
he fulfills his needs, then Allah
will make your feet firm on the day
of judgment,
when the feet stumble
on the Surat and other places on the
day of judgment.
Bad manners spoil good deeds, just like vinegar
spoils honey. So this is a hadith of
the prophet
and I'm gonna conclude
with a couple of quick examples that I
gave before in the Khutba. So because I
see a lot of new faces here, most
likely you didn't hear the stories before.
One of them was,
doctor Abdul Kalam from India. And this is
a beautiful story. So doctor Abdul Kalam, he
was the former president of India,
and, he said that when he was young,
he came one day from work from, his
school, he was like 7, 8 years old.
He came from work
and, and, he came with his father. His
father came from work and he was, he
was, like everyone was hungry. And they came
home
and doctors Abdul Kalan's mother
burned the food. I don't know if it
was biryani, shabbati, you know, some kind of
food.
So what happened,
the mother was making, like, she was apologizing.
And the father said, you know it's okay,
no problem, inshallah, we can eat it, and
he was actually eating with a smile on
his face.
So doctor Abdul Kalam said, that night I
went to my dad in his room and
I said, dad tell me the truth, did
you really like the food?
And food can't wait, you like the can't
wait. He said, son wallahi, I'll be honest
with you, when I was eating I was
about to throw up because the food was
horrible. Right?
But I didn't want to break your mom's
heart, She was doing the food she was
standing in the kitchen the whole day, and
I didn't want to break her heart, and
she does good food all the time. It's
not a problem if, you know, the food
is spoiled once or twice a year. It's
not a big deal. And he said, son,
I never heard of anyone who died because
of burnt Biryani, or shawarma, or mansaf, or,
you know, never heard of anyone who died
because they ate burnt Biryani.
But I know a lot of people whose
hearts were broken,
and they were stressed out because of hurtful
words,
you know. So this is why I didn't
hurt your mother's feelings. I said, It's okay,
alhamdulillah, it's not a big deal.
The other example,
and I imagine subhanallah, now if if you
go home now and the food is burnt,
big problem man, big problem.
And I hear stories subhanallah.
So we take it easy inshallah.
The last example for today, and this is
one of my favorite examples,
the story of brother Bassim, it happened in
Greenville, South Carolina. I was there for about
3, 4 years,
and I was good friends with brother Bassim
from Palestine.
So, he told us the story
that he used to go to the Masjid
and he knew a brother who used to
go to the Masjid.
And the other brother was kind of old,
in his seventies and retired.
So brother Basim asked him one day, did
you go to Hash?
And the brother said, no, I I didn't.
He said, why? He said, well, I I
can't afford it. I would love to but
I don't have the money.
So brother Basim said, okay.
Then brother Basim, he knew some business people
in the community
and he spoke to them. And he said,
this is a good brother, he's coming to
the masjid all the time. He would like
to go for Hajj but he can't afford
it and we help him out.
Back then,
the the you need to, to have like
8,500
to pay for the Hajj in the U.
S. U. S. Dollars. So brother Basim said,
within a few days, I spoke to some
people
and half of them didn't even know the
brother.
He said, we raised close to
$11,000.
Someone chipped in 500, someone put $5, some
put 15. We came up with $11,000.
I gave them to the brother
and, we bought his tickets, we sent him
for hash.
Then this old brother when he came back,
brother Basim,
went to visit him.
So,
the brother who came from Hajj, he said,
wallahi, I wanted to buy you a gift
from Mecca or Medina.
I was going around in the stores, I
didn't find a suitable gift for you,
but I thought that the best gift I
would give you is to make dua for
you during the Hajj, the day of Jum'ah,
after salatul Jum'ah. I stood in front of
Kaaba and I made dua for you. I
said, You Allah,
I said, You Allah,
this brother made me happy in dunya.
You Allah, make him happy in dunya and.
Then brother Basim started to cry, and the
brother started to cry. So he put a
smile on his face, and he didn't have
to pay all the amount, he just maybe
he put $20, $50, and everyone put something,
and and they send the brother for Hajj.
So that's all we need to do inshallah
to put a smile on someone's face.
You either
remove a hardship from them, help them financially
if you can, help them physically if you
can, or at least say a good word.
And if someone is is if you don't
have the financial ability, physical ability to help
someone, at least give them tell them something
nice.
So someone came to Johad to ask for
food and Johad didn't have food, and and
he said, okay, we don't have anything to
give you.
And the man said, please I need food.
And the man said, okay, we don't have
nothing, just get out here. And he pushed
up and he fell on the floor. And
the man said, if you guys cannot afford
food,
at least you can afford some manners. You
don't pay money for manners, you know, you
just you just need to be nice.
So
the last thing I want to say on
how to help people and put a smile
on their face and remove difficulties from them,
the prophet
in authentic hadith he said
he was asked about the most beloved deeds
to Allah, and he said, when you help
people out
financially
and the man said, well, what if I
don't have the money?
Then the prophet
said, You Ani, you help them physically, carry
stuff with them, their grocery, you know, you
know, shovel their snow, cut their grass, and
the man said, well if I don't have
the physical ability to help? And the prophet
said,
Help them verbally, give them nasi how,
tell them what to do. And the man
said, Well what if I don't have the
knowledge to do? And the prophet in this
authentic hadith, there are different narrations in Bukhari,
Muslim other books, he said something remarkable
subhanAllah.
Wala, if you if you frame this and
put it in your house, you would be
happy in your life, and you will make
people happy. The Prophet said, if you cannot
help people financially, physically, verbally,
He said, if you are not able to
help people,
if you are not able to benefit them,
at least don't harm them, and this is
the best you can get. Right? So for
example, I've seen this. In some places,
maybe they built a new masjid or a
school, and there's someone in the community who
would like to become the Imam just because
he knows Fatiha,
or he would like to be a board
member, no one likes him, so he tells
his wife, if you don't vote for me,
it's a luck. So he gets one vote
in the elections, so he was not elected.
Now he is mad at the community.
If they have a fund raise
so he's not paying anything, of course, sure
enough.
But if he's not paying,
he will go around and tell everyone in
the community that these people are fundraising to
build a Masjidore school, they are thieves. Chore.
Right? So don't give them. They are thieves.
Don't help them. So he's not helping
and he is harming. Right? If you're not
able to help, at least don't harm, and
this is the best thing you can do.
We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make
us among those who do and
to, help us put a smile on people's
faces or remove difficulties from them.