Mustafa Khattab – Latafa Grace
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AI: Transcript ©
The the people, they don't know their rights,
and they don't know their obligations.
One of the reasons why people have problems
in in their lives, especially with their brothers
and sisters,
is that they don't know how to use
their time.
Okay? So this is how they have problems.
They don't know the right thing. They don't
have shiqa when they speak. They don't speak
wisely.
And you will see a lot of emphasis
in the Quran and in the sunnah on
this particular topic.
Speaking wisely and
caring about people's feelings and emotions is mentioned
in the Quran, Surah Al Asa,
surah number 17. Allah
is telling the prophet tells
the believers
to say what is best.
Otherwise, shaitan would be spreading hostility
between them. So it is there in the
Quran. We read in the sunnah that the
prophet says that a good word is a
salah, is a chair.
Watch your tongue. The tongue is the thing
that leads people to Jahannam all the time.
The Hadid of Mo'az is there wa ta'ala.
These are everywhere.
Even in Canada, this is kinda like the
Western general.
They use use eviscing all the time in
magaz, mizav, okay. When they talk about something
bad,
they try to use nice words to convey
something horrible in a very nice way.
So, say for example, if someone is talking
to another and that other is a liar,
they they don't usually tell the person you
are a liar. They usually say, well, you
are not telling the truth.
Why? Because they use they use nice words.
And even they use it with ham things
all the time.
Veyba interest,
they call it interest. Not usually they call
it interest, because it's a beautiful name. They
talk when they talk about alcohol, they call
it spirits.
It's a good thing. I mean, the word
is good.
Again, this is just like putting lipstick with
a pig. It will always be a pig.
But they try
to speak about things in a nice way.
Boyfriend girlfriend relationships, they are called fornication in
Islam, an idiom thing, but they call it,
you know, a relationship or friendship or whatever.
Friendship. This is what they call it. Boyfriend,
girlfriend, relationship.
So they use these things to talk about
terrible things, and they make them look nice.
So what about good things in Islam?
Will we have more right to use nice
words when we talk about them? I remember
a long time ago, I mentioned the story
of Omar Ibn Abdelazizar of the law when
he was sick,
and this guy came to visit him. So
Omar Al Akhir was terribly sick. So the
man asked him, what's your illness? What's your
problem? He said, will I have this illness?
I don't know. Cancer? I don't know. Fever?
Something. He told him something. He said,
said, well, if you
visit the sick,
don't talk to them about the death.
And if you get out of here, you
never come back. Okay. Because the worst made
a huge difference.
There's this story
mentioned in a long time ago, it was
a king who had a vision, and he
invited people to interpret the vision for him
told Tasir.
So one of them said, well,
he saw his seed falling in the dream.
So usually in the competition of the dreams,
they say, well, somebody's gonna die in the
family.
So the first man said, well,
your family will die and you will have
die after them. So he said, kick him
out. Then another scholar came and he said,
well,
you're you you you will live longer than
your family. It's exactly the same thing that
his family will die first, that he will
die last. So, he told him, you will
live longer than any member of your family.
It's exactly the same thing, but in a
better
way. So,
when we talk to people,
we need to use this filter in our
mouth, in our brains before we talk. And
believe me,
if you do this thing, you put that
finger on a filter in your hand or
filter in your mouth,
then you're not gonna say 85%
of what you're planning to say.
You see like 36
piece? I don't know how many teeth you
have. Gates after gates just to to just
to protect your tongue from talking nonsense or
saying something that you might regret later.
So he said,
think about people's feelings and emotions when you
talk to them.
You don't talk to someone who is poor
and you talk about your money in front
of them because you're gonna hurt their feelings.
You visit someone in the hospital
and
you talk to them about
the 300 push ups you do. You're hurting
their fields. When you talk to someone who
doesn't have kids and you start boasting about
your children, what is that supposed to mean?
If you talk to someone who just lost
his father and you talk about how much
you love your dad, what is that supposed
to mean? You're hurting you're hurting their feelings.
And,
the prophet Muhammad was very careful when he
spoke to the sahab. He always
said nice things about them. He always
chose,
he always choose his words carefully, chose his
words when he spoke to them, and he
always lifted their morale.
We read, for example, in the Hadith the
site that maybe
still he made me feel important when he
said make Dua for me please, brother.
So he made me feel very good about
myself.
You read in the story, Sayyid Musa Adhimat
And you know what happened in in the
in the world. He was the reason
why Muslims didn't win at Urq. Certainly, the
mountain because of the archers. You know this
story.
A few years later
someone told him
that the prophet
said, above you this.
He said,
should not fail to realize the value of
Islam. And if he ever comes to me,
I will honor him.
So he came to the prophet and he
accepted Islam just because he heard this word,
and the story is there in Nasir.
So, speaking nicely to the people and caring
about them and caring about their emotions.
Also,
the feelings of the people.
Not scratching the dignity of someone and saying
something
terrible to them that would hurt their feelings
and
will make them feel miserable.
There's this story we read about Mafdi, where
a man used to go to his neighbor
every month and give him salafah. His neighbor
was poor.
So one month he forgot to give salatah
to his neighbor.
So the neighbor came, and it was the
first time that the neighbor came to knock
on his neighbor's door, this caller, and asked
for salatah. He said, well, I didn't ask
for it for 2 days, so please give
me something.
I'll let him, you know, Lord himself will
come and and ask me.
The lay of the
place
of the law on Kevin
Aliyah and Nadim.
He was a very rich man,
you know. And it is a good thing
to talk to you a lot and ask
her about things. Why why is this happening?
Why nobody is visiting me when I'm sick?
So she said, because they owe you a
lot of money, so they are ashamed
to come to visit you because this will
remind
them
of the money they owe you. So, I
said, okay. He sent someone
to announce in the streets of Madera that
whoever owes money to Kais and Nisa, this
money is forgiven.
It's waived. You don't have to pay the
internet.
They said that the people rushed to his
house to visit him after the announcement.
So many people went, so much so that
the, the stairs of the house, they crumpled.
They filled out because there were so many
people.
People and sharing their emotions and their feelings.
And the prophet did the same thing all
the time. If someone
died somewhere, he would
visit them, and he will show his sorrow
and because he's standing by the side in
different times.
If there was a win, he was the
1st one to be there to congratulate them.
So sharing people's feelings and emotions is a
good thing. And it's a good thing that
you feel that people appreciate what you do.
It's a good thing that when you feel
that people care about you, that you have
people who stand by your side, people who
support you in good times and in difficult
times.
So, Abulai Radawa was sitting one day, he
was sick and he was sleeping on his
wife's lap. He put her head in his
head with his wife's lap. So,
all of a sudden he started to cry.
She said, well,
you know, and she started to cry. But
she didn't ask him why are you crying?
She started to cry.
So
he said, do you know why I cried?
She said, well, I don't know.
He said, I cried because I remember this
ayah in the Quran by meekul in the
way to have khanama.
That every single one of you would pass
over the land and the bridge.
So I was not sure if I will
make it safely to the other side or
I would just fall into her husband. So
this is why I cried.
So he he asked her why did you
cry? She said I saw you crying, I
started to cry.
So these feelings and sharing emotions between husband
and wife are also good, and a lot
of families are collapsing because of the lack
of this.
The guy is coming from work and he's
miserable, and the wife, okay. We need to
pay the bills. We need to do this.
Why don't you buy a car for me
like my neighbor's wife? And, you know, take
it easy on the on the person. And
the brothers do the same thing with their
wives as well. Not caring,
not being considerate of their emotions.
Like, they're asking them, you know, how to
you shouldn't talk to your mom, you shouldn't
check, you know, look after your family, you
shouldn't help your wife. Okay. And all these
things and all these things that lead to
the, you know, the breaking of families.
I remember a story. I'm gonna conclude with
this inshallah.
One of the brothers was coming,
late in Ramadan. He he works night shift
in Ramadan, and he finishes that many times.
So he went to Oman, he was tired.
So he said to Mishba, would you please
put the carpet for me because I'm gonna
pray before I sleep?
So she said, well, Sharia says, you have
to go and play taweeh in the masher.
Well,
Sharia also says that I can nigh up
to 4 wives.
So she said, do you like the carving
to feed in the living room or the
kitchen?
Okay. Caring about people and caring about emotions,
and this will lead to happiness happiness
and and harmony between Muslims,
your friends,
other Muslims, and also family members.
All
the,
the money collected today will go to our
brothers and sisters in Kashmir. They