Mustafa Khattab – How To Correct Others
AI: Summary ©
The definition of hesitation is discussed, with emphasis on the behavior of hesitant people when faced with difficult situations like surgery or death. The importance of correcting people before they become a shareholder is emphasized, along with the need to provide small personal touch to make people feel good. The speaker emphasizes the importance of correcting people before they become a shareholder and offers guidance on how to approach negative comments with small small things.
AI: Summary ©
Okay. How's everyone doing? Good. Good.
So,
we got a couple
of big ones here to give out.
Where is Abu Dhabi?
Yeah.
That's you. We forgot your name? What happened?
What happened? Did you get one of those?
Mother. Yeah. This is yours.
Share with your brothers. He's a good guy.
And
this one is for the sister right there.
Yes?
Thank
you.
But make sure you read the translation. Okay?
Don't put it on the shelve.
Okay. Before we begin, inshallah, we
make a special dua'
with the father of sister Yasmeen,
who's going for a surgery. May Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala give him,
shifa, a long and healthy life. Say, Ameen.
Ameen. Ameen.
So,
today, inshallah, we'll talk about,
correcting people when they make mistakes
or
when you make dawah to people. Muslim.
There's something called Hikma. Can anyone tell me
what Hikma means?
Yes.
Wisdom.
Exactly.
And what is the meaning of wisdom, Hikma?
The definition,
ASME?
Like, if
if they if they if they dealt, like,
if they have to deal with a like,
in a hard time,
they stay patient.
Okay.
Close.
I'll give you the definition.
Hikma basically means to say the right thing
to the right person,
at the right time, in the right way.
This is Hikma.
Right?
So for example,
when you wake up someone, like, 3 in
the morning,
they're like,
dead.
And you wake them up,
okay. Come on, let let's talk about
smoking.
You smoke, this is bad.
What will they do?
They will just kick you, and they will
go back to sleep. This is not the
right time.
Right? You have to choose the right time
and the right way,
when
when you speak to people.
Yeah. You choose the right time, the right
way, and you also pick your words carefully.
In our masajid, what we have what we
call, in many masajid, we call them
the call them the haram police.
Yeah. They exist.
I I deal with I deal with them
all the time.
So what they do basically,
sometimes they're retired,
they have nothing to do, they just sit
in the masjid,
and as soon as you walk in, they
check you out, you know,
to see if something is wrong with you.
So you walk in the masjid.
Where is your beard?
Well, I just took child last night.
That's not a good excuse.
Something like this.
Or someone, you know, a sister is trying
to wear the hijab, you know, maybe the
hijab is not proper,
or she's not able to wear the hijab.
She she knows that hijab she has to
wear the hijab, but she's not ready. She
needs some support in the, you know, in
from, you know, the groom or from the
community. This is something we need to do
inshallah.
When you offend
people, if they are 1 inch away from
Islam, they will go 1 mile away.
So speak to them with Hikma.
And how do you learn Hikma by following
the example of Muhammad
And the will say,
when you see the word Hikma in the
Quran, it means sunnah.
Muhammad
The prophet
was teaching Sahaba, Kitab, the Quran, Wil Hikma
is Sunnah.
This is like Ishmael among the scholars of
Tafsir, that the word Hikma, when it comes
with the word Kitab or Quran, it means
the Sunnah of the prophet So
there is a hadith authentic,
Jaa'arabi. Someone came to the masjid of the
prophet
and maybe he was a new Muslim or
something,
and, maybe this is his first time in
the masjid.
So the prophet
and the Sahaba were sitting in the front,
and this Bedouin, Arabi,
went to the back of the masjid and
urinated.
There was the hadith is authentic.
And some of the Sahaba, of course, they
were not happy because this is very disrespectful
to the masjid.
And the prophet said, let
him finish.
Then, of course, when he finished, some of
the Sahaba gave him this look, like they
were not happy with what he did.
So
the prophet
called him and he said, brother, you know,
the masjid is not for, you know, urination
or all that stuff. We come here to
the masjid to pray and remember Allah,
and he didn't hit him. He didn't say
things about him. He didn't tar or feather
him. He said something nice.
And the man was moved,
and he said, you Allah,
forgive me and the Prophet, give us Jannah,
but not these guys over here. Like he
was talking about the Sahaba, we're giving him
this look. And the prophet said,
the mercy of Allah is so big,
vast, don't limit it to me and you.
There's also another example,
Sahih Muslim.
So this Sahabi,
he was standing in the salah,
and he wasn't new or something, he didn't
have the proper knowledge of salah, so someone
next to him sneezed
in salah. I think it was Muawy ibn
Al Hakim. So sneezed.
The person next to him sneezed in the
salah.
So he said, Right? And the person didn't
answer back knowing that you're not supposed to
talk to people in salah.
So he said, okay, maybe he didn't hear
me. Alhamdulillah.
The man didn't respond, he said like 15
times throughout the salah. So much so that
some other Sahaba, they started to look at
him like they were not happy, he was
distracting their attention,
And as soon as the prophet said, salaam
alaikum salaam alaikum, everyone in the Masjid was
like,
what's wrong with you?
They were mad,
and and you understand this from the hadith.
So after Salah, the prophet
called him and said, come here, brother, in
salah.
In salah, we don't say, like, regular speech,
we just say Quran, we just say adkar,
and that's it.
When I made a mistake in salah, he
didn't hit me, he didn't insult me,
but he taught me in the best way.
The last thing I want to say, one
of the most effective ways of correcting people
when they make
mistakes and keep this in mind and remember
my beautiful face. When you see someone doing
something wrong, always remember this tip.
Say something nice before you correct them.
Where do we get this from?
From the Hadith in Bukhari.
When Abdulai ibn Umar
when he was a madman, maybe 16, 17,
he didn't pray Qiyamulay.
And the Prophet SAW said: Ni Amar Rajruh
Abu Abdullah Nawkanaqumum
minalayl.
Abdullah Nohmar is a great person.
If he prays a little bit at night,
like with Tahajjud Qiyam, he would be an
excellent person.
So what did the prophet say? Did he
say he is not a good Muslim, he
is Farsid, he is bad? No. He said
something positive, he's a good person,
but if he prays a little bit at
night, he would be excellent.
He would be the best.
When Abdullah Muhammad heard what the prophet
said about him, he used to sleep very
little at night. He used to spend most
of
the night, 90 or 85 percent of the
night in salah,
because of the way the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam corrected him. He said something nice
about him.
So now,
if I'm a share for example, someone comes
to my halakah to learn Tajweed,
they are from Egypt, 55 years old, and
they say, Alhamdulillahi
rabbilalameen.
So there are two scenarios here. If I
say,
Aqizatko Moshele.
You are from Arab country.
You are 55 years old with 1 foot
in the grave, like, this is one approach.
You are bad.
Your family is this, your dad,
your cry is wrong, go home,
idiot. Something like this. Right?
This is my approach. It's wrong. Don't do
it. The other approach, and this is what
I personally do,
based on what I learned from the Hadith
of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, I
say, brother, masha Allah, beautiful voice,
long breath,
makarish, fantastic. You just need a small professional
touch.
What will they do? They will come everyday
to learn more because I give them the
motivation.
Right?
At home,
when your mom, for example, didn't put some
salt in the food, if you say, what
is this junk?
Where is this salt? This is one approach.
You
know? You are making me miserable.
And I'm happy because of your food. This
is one approach.
The other approach would be, ma'am, Masha Allah,
this is fantastic. This is beautiful. If you
can just put, like, you know, a small
touch of salt, this will be fantastic.
Right? What she will do? She will bring
a whole bag of salt.
It all depends on the It all depends
on the approach. The way you put it,
inshallah,
will have an impact on the people. You
can either do it
the bad way.
If you do it the bad way,
people will not listen to you.
People will be offended, and once they are
offended, they will not listen to you. If
you do it the nice way
if you do it the nice way because
always keep in mind that we don't hate
if someone does something wrong,
we don't hate the person.
He or she is your brother or sister,
we we love them, but we have an
issue with something wrong they did.
So we focus on the act another person,
Because if you start insulting them, saying bad
things about them,
you put them on the defensive, they will
not listen to you. But if you say
they're good people and I care about you,
and you criticize the act itself,
they will listen to you know to you
because they know that you care about them.
And you'll try to correct them, so they
will be the best. If this is your
approach, believe me, they will listen to you.
We'll continue to moan, inshallah. We ask Allah,
to give us the best in this life
and the best in the life to come.
Bless you and your family.