Mustafa Khattab – How Not to Give a Boring Talk 3
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And expect a lot of stupid questions to
come your way.
Because some people, they have nothing to do.
They just wanna ask a question because they
are recording, there is a camera. So there
is this this is the only proof
that they existed in this world. Because if
they see them on YouTube
Hello? So they know that you existed. Right?
This is the evidence. We have a hard
evidence that you existed. This is a video.
They got you on tape. So you exist.
So they ask a question.
So, I shared some of these questions with
you. One time, the brother came to it
was Ramadan time. And the the hall was
packed. We had like 500 people.
I gave everything you need to know about
Ramadan, how to get the best out of
Ramadan and everything. So after the talk, the
first guy, suit and tie Maj Allah, like
Maj Allah.
You have a question? Yeah. So what's your
question?
He said, does Zakat have to fast in
Ramadan?
First, I thought he was talking about Zakat
in Ramadan, like pig, charity, Ramadan. He said,
no, no. Zakat. My cat. My cat.
So,
well, it's a stupid question, but maybe he
doesn't know. Maybe he's I don't know. Maybe
I don't know his background.
Some some of the people started to laugh.
They were on the floor, you know. I
said, no. No. No. Maybe he doesn't know.
Fasting is only for human beings.
Your cat,
if you have a,
whatever, parrot in the house, they don't have
to fast. Fasting is only for Muslims. Non
Muslims don't have to fast. Anything else doesn't
have to fast. You see? He didn't know.
Terrible questions.
And,
my
top question that I always say this, you
must be bored by now, but I I
got this question and I will never forget
it. The question that I got about,
about jinn, whether they lay eggs or give
birth.
I said, who the heck cares? I said,
I don't know. But he said, you have
to give me an answer. You are the
imam.
You are hired here. You have to give
me an answer because this is important.
And I said, well, well, he's not going
away. I told him, I don't know.
I don't know if he'll give birth or
a leg. Who cares? It's not an important
thing.
At the end, I told, you know what?
I was too young
when all of this happened. Everything came about.
So I I I really was not paying
attention, so I don't know. One guy came
to here. I gave him a tour with
Abu Eliza for an hour.
And we he said, tell me about prophets.
So I told him about different prophets and
he had a question
about homosexuality.
I don't know what was wrong with people
in this Masjid and outside. That same week,
I got this question like 15 times.
I gave a talk to the youth, talk
to us about homosexual. I go to the
sisters,
what if my colleague is homosexual? I come
to the brothers, what if, I'm working with
someone who is homosexual? This guy came,
what if I'm I'm a I'm a homosexual
and I want to accept Islam? I said,
what's wrong with these? Everybody is talking about
the same thing.
Then he said, is homosexuality
mentioned in the Quran? And I said, yes.
In the story of Lot.
Sodom and Gomorrah, it's the same story in
the Bible and in the Quran.
He said, do you know the story when
the the the angels came to Lot in
the form of human beings? I said, yes.
He said,
when they came in the form of human
beings, were they tall or short?
Were they white or black?
Were they thin or thick? Aba'eesa is my
witness. He was there and I said, who
the * cares, man?
They just came. This is not the point.
They just came to give him the news.
He said, but I have to know. And
I said, you have to look at the
big picture. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala doesn't talk
about these fine details
because they don't really matter.
Look at the big picture. This is what
matters. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in the Quran,
most of the time
he doesn't give us the name of the
wife of Al Aziz. He doesn't al Qaladin
because the name doesn't matter. What matter is
what matters is the moral of the the
moral of the story. This is what the
wisdom behind the story. So I expect some,
funny,
questions.
And,
the only stupid question is the one that
is not asked. And 2 people will never
learn as some of the ulama say, those
who are arrogant to ask and those who
are shy.
Khalas, we're almost done.
If you want to be an effective speaker
and if you want people to listen to
you, if you want to have an impact,
avoid
divisive topics. Like, if you are giving a
talk, there are some certain certain
things you should not talk about.
First of all, you should not talk about
politics
because you you will find people who are
whiz and people who are against. So if
you give a khutbah in support of conservatives,
half of the masjid is,
liberals and they will fight with you.
Also, if you speak about
marrying more than one wife.
If the the brothers, of course, you will
be their hero. Yeah. Masha Allah. We love
the brother. You should hire imana as an
imam. All the sisters will sign a petition
to fire you.
If you speak about Sunnah and Shia, someone
will not be happy.
There are so many different topics that are,
you know, controversial
and I mean, there is no point in
learning about these things. What are you trying
to prove? You are only dividing the community.
Khalas. If it is not an issue, Khalas,
leave it alone, everybody is happy.
You have to have the knowledge of what
you are talking about. You can't just stand
up and give a talk.
Like, one person will come to you and
say, I wanna give a talk
about something. But you are not specialized in
the field. You have to have some knowledge
before you are able to speak.
And I think I gave this story before
you are bored of it.
The guy who was giving a talk about
ut Haya and, before Eid ul Athhaqurbari,
the feast of sacrifice
and, yeah. He was not as tall and
he just memorized some surahs from the Quran.
So,
after some time because he was the only
person who knew Quran in the village, a
small village somewhere in
one country in the Southeast Asia.
So he was the only educated person in
the town. He memorized some Quran. So for
them he was Khurja, he was Alama, he
was Askar.
So he started to read from a book
and explained but he was not Askar, he
was not educated.
So he told him, it says in the
book, I think it was faktas sunnah or
something, it is recommended to have wudu
purification
for the Qurban, for the hutay. So he
told him, he explained,
it is sunnah
to
have the animal to have wudu before you
kill it. So you watch the mouth of
the animal, the nose, the ears, and the
legs. The animal basically has to make wudu
before you kill it. But this is wrong.
What is meant here, it is recommended to
face the qiblah, and the person who is
offering the sacrifice
to wash himself liable, but it's only recommended.
It's only recommended. It's not an obligation.
So inshallah this is the last slide
it will help you to,
memorize a footba very easily.
If they ask you to give a talk,
and if you're not prepared,
the easiest way to make a talk is
to give them a story.
This is the easiest way to build a
talk, is to give them a story, a
very
impressive story, motivational story, then you can comment
on the story what we can learn from
the story. This is the easiest way to
give a Khutba. You do some reading backgrounds,
sum up your talk in points,
and you have to organize your Khutba.
And the easiest way to organize a Khutba
is to put it like when you write
an essay, you put you start with the
introduction,
the body of the problem, then the solution,
the solution or the conclusion.
Right?
How can you memorize a Khutba?
Well,
the easiest way to prepare a Khutba or
a talk is to put it in,
a chronological
or a logical order. I say for example,
if I'm talking about someone,
say for example, I'm gonna start about someone's
life. I say, well, he got his PhD
in 2005.
He has 4 children.
He died in 2012.
He got married in, 1995.
He was born in 1965.
He went to college when, he was, 20
years old. He retired when he was this.
He went to high school. Believe me, you
will never be able to memorize this. The
easiest way is to put it in a
logical order.
He was born in 1965.
He went to school when he was 7
years old. Then he went to high school.
Then
he went to college, he got his BA,
he got his masters, he got his PhD,
he got married,
he died right up because this is what
happens, because when you get married, tell us,
this is the end of your life.
No.
Yeah. He got married. He has 4 kids.
He got a job.
He retired, and he died. This is the
logical order. Right? It becomes very easy. So
when you put it in this logical order,
now you sum up,
you'll talk about the life of this person
in 4 words.
Birth, childhood,
education,
marriage, work, retirement, and death.
When you remember these 5 words, when you
give a talk,
you don't have to memorize the whole thing.
So I'm gonna talk about his birth and
childhood, 2 minutes, 3 minutes. Then I talk
about Siddiqi, education, 2, 3 minutes.
His marriage,
10 minutes.
Then his divorce,
his children, his education, and his work. If
you give 2 minutes to each of these
points, you have a Khutba of 30 minutes.
This is the easiest way to come up
with a very good Khutba.
So always sum up your foot buzz in
words.
4, 5 words. If you remember these 5
words in order, in a logical order, then
you will be able to remember,
you you remember your talk. The worst thing
you can do in life
well, it's a good thing sometimes to give
a presentation because some people are visual. It's
good to show them videos and cartoons and
funny things. The worst thing you can do
in your life as a speaker or a
talker is to read from a paper.
It will give the bad impression about you
that you are an idiot, you don't know
anything, or you have amnesia. You don't you
can't remember
4 words, birth, education, marriage, work,
retirement, and death. Right? So this is the
worst thing you can do. Plus some people
when they read from the thing,
they can't see clearly because there's not enough
light, they forgot their, glasses,
you know, so they always stumble when they
read. And as I said, it doesn't give
a lot of credibility when you are reading
from a piece of paper. People don't respect
this, most of the people. And you keep
stumbling on things and making mistakes, especially when
you have problem with the spacing or the
font is very small.
Like this story, it's a true story. 1
guy in Egypt, that was like 15 years
ago, 20 years ago, he used to give
a talk, he stumbled on this book
that, gives like,
transcripts of all Khutbas, like from a 1000
years ago. So every Jum'ah, he copied the
Khutba, and he used to read the Khutba
from the paper. So one time,
he was giving the talk and while he
was reading he says,
they said, of course, at the end he
always made dua for Sultan
Ahmed. May Allah give him a long life
and he died a 1000 years ago because
that was the norm at the time. At
the end you make dua for the Sultan.
Aja Sultan.
Long live Sultan. Sultan is dead 1000 years
ago. But anyway, they said, what did you
mean when you said in Nazinaag or Balatim
Waha Dufamsir Waha Dufamsir? He said, wallahi, this
is what the paper says. They looked at
it and it says in Nazina
am wazbala tamahinah.
Committing adultery is everywhere,
and fitna and,
tribulations and tests are everywhere. Oh my god.
Oh my god. This is what it says.
But because of the spacing, he mispronounced
the thing.
So,
I think we're gonna leave at this.
So, if you came late,
then Insha'Allah, maybe we can meet next week
if you are interested.
Choose a topic
for 3, maximum 5 minutes, then we're gonna
ask some of you to give talks in
front of us based on the stuff we
learned today. And if you are ready, we'll
give you a certificate from the Masjid that
you attended and you are able to give
a talk. So those who come next time,
Insha'Allah, they will be qualified to give talks
abroad Jumah Fuddha. And I will give them
I'll help them with
the introduction, the dua you say at the
end and the dua at the end and
how to build up your footba. But now
you have the basics to give a footba
and give a talk, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So
how many of you plan to come,
next, Saturday 2 o'clock?
We'll give you a certificate.
After
2:30. Khalas, we'll meet at 2:30 inshallah. If
you wanna continue,
Prepare a topic of your choice. Choose a
topic and speak prepare something to speak about
this topic for 3 maximum 5 minutes, inshaAllah.
If you are qualified, you will be certified.
Any questions?
Questions?
So how tall was the
Terrible. Terrible.
Assalamu alaikum. We'll see you next week inshallah.
Well, before you guys go, if there's no
questions, we need some brothers and sisters to
get help chairs for today,