Mustafa Khattab – Honor Your Parents
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AI: Transcript ©
In the name of Allah, the most gracious,
most merciful,
all praise is due to Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala. We praise him and we seek his
forgiveness and assistance,
and we take refuge in him from the
evils of ourselves and our shortcomings.
Whomever Allah
guides, there is none to misguide.
And whomever Allah leads to go astray,
there is none to
So a few weeks ago, my sister called,
and she said, I have a question about
salah. So I said, Alhamdulillah.
Finally, someone is not gonna ask about divorce.
So the sister said, there's this old lady
who lives by herself back home in one
of those countries,
and
this lady is very old. She is handicapped.
She can't go to the restroom
to relieve herself or even to make wudu.
So she technically
urinates and defecates in her clothes. She's very
old.
So she is saying the lady is saying,
if if she prays in this condition with
all that you're in and stuff in her
clothes, will the salah be accepted?
So the first question I asked,
where are her kids? Her children. Where are
they?
She said her kids got married.
They lived
in other places, and no one has time
to come and check with her.
So I said, who cooks for her? Who
who cleans the house for her? She said,
there's this lady. She comes every day between
both and us. She cleans the house. She
cleans the lady. She takes out all the
diapers, all this stuff,
and she cooks for her. But the rest
of the day, she is by herself. She
can't even make wudu to pray.
I got so depressed for the rest of
the week.
Is this how we pay back our parents
after what they have done for us? They
aren't the very reason why I'm here in
this world.
Your job, your wife, your children
is not more important than your parents.
What does Akal do
in Hadith
So I remember the hadith of Ramar al
Khattar al Khattar al
Adar al Mufrad.
He saw a man in Hajj carrying his
old mother, carrying her in the Hajj
around the Kaaba, in Safa, Barwa, the stones,
Arafa, everything. So the man came to Omar
and said,
have I paid back my mother for everything
she has done for me? So Omar said,
no. Bayamal, I'm not. You have not.
Not if everything you have done for your
mother
is not equal even to one of the
contractions
at the time of delivery.
It is not enough.
So today, in Shabbat, very briefly, although we
need hours and hours to talk about parents
and how to serve them and how to
be good to them, I'm gonna summarize everything
in about 15 minutes.
Bin al Walidayin means it doesn't have any
equivalents in English, but the closest meaning is
to obey them unless they are telling you
to to do something haram
and to be kind to them, merciful to
them, provide for them, honor them, obey them.
This is the meaning of
in Arab. So every time the Quran talks
about shirk
and not
to do shift. The first commandment in Islam,
worship 1 God. Worship Allah alone. The second
commandment is
honor your parents.
Serve your parents. Be kind to them.
So every time Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells
us to worship him alone,
he always says right after,
honor your parents. Be good to them.
So the reason the scholars say is
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is your only born.
There is no God except him. And also
your parents,
they are your parents. You cannot get another
couple to be your parents.
If you marry a lady, if you divorce
her, she's not your wife anymore.
If you hire someone to work for you,
then you hire them. They are not your
employees anymore.
But your parents, you cannot just, keep them
out of the house, and they are not
your parents anymore. You cannot do this.
So if you look at
it's it's very heartbreaking that the way that
the parents serve us while we are young,
they take care of us. They sacrifice to
make us happy. They change their diapers. They
do everything
to make you happy,
and they always make du'a that Allah will
give you a long life
so you will enjoy your life. Some of
us, not saying all of us, some of
us, when they serve their old parents,
they serve him, but in their hearts, they
make du'a that they will die, so the
person will relax. So he doesn't have to
serve him anymore. So this is the difference
in the attitude.
They wish us a long life, and then
we wish they would die, so we will
relax and not serve them anymore. Bahadahu had
fought with him.
The reason this scholars say,
Allah
always talks about the mother in the Quran.
To respect our parents and to be good
to them, he always talks about the mother.
He doesn't talk about the father. He talks
about pregnancy. He talks about delivery.
He talks about the mother nursing the baby,
taking care of him at a young age
for 2 years, and so on and so
forth. But the father is not dead.
And the scholars say,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is reminding you of
what your mother did for you while you
were in your womb
at the time of delivery
and when you were born because
technically, we don't remember these things. We don't
see them. So we don't We we cannot
imagine how how our mother suffered for us
and how much they sacrificed
to make us happy. But when we open
our eyes, when we are 7 or 10,
you see your dad going to work every
day in the morning, working 2, 3 shifts,
and your mother is sitting in front of
you in the house watching TV, chatting on
Facebook. Oh, she doesn't do anything.
But your dad is your hero. So Allah,
subhanahu wa ta'ala, is reminding you of all
these sacrifices that took place
way before you were born and after you
were born because you didn't know these things.
And this is why
the prophet, saitha, wa sallam, also says in
the Hadith, when the man came to him
and said, who should be my best friend?
Who should be more deserving of my kindness
in this life? So the prophet, saitha, wa
sallam, said, your mother, your mother, your mother,
then your father.
So some people say, okay. What do I
give if I'm good to my parents? If
I honor them, I obey them, I'm talented.
What do I get back in return?
Number 1, Allah
would be pleased with you.
Allah would be satisfied with you. So the
prophet says in this authentic hadith al Sahih
al living,
Allah's
pleasure is in the pleasure of the parents,
and Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, this pleasure is
in the displeasure of the parents. So if
your parents are pleased with you, Allah is
pleased.
If they are mad at you, Allah is
displeased.
If Allah is pleased with you, he will
not punish you.
Muhammad, and said, oh, Allah, what are the
most beloved deeds to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?
So the prophet said,
pray on time. This is number 1. The
most
beloved thing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
pray on time.
The man said, then what? Then the prophet
said, Kindness
to your parents. This is number 2.
So number 3, if you want Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala to give you more risk and
to bless this risk for you
let them
not to cut their family relationship. Let them
be kind and generous with your parents and
your family.
So number 4, if you are generous and
kind and respectful to your parents,
then Allah will
give you Jannah for this.
And what else do you want
more than Jannah as a reward for this?
This is the highest thing. This is our
dream. This is our hope.
So the prophet said,
he is a loser. He is a loser.
He is a loser. So the sahaba said,
who is he? What are you talking about?
So the prophet
said, the one
who sees his parents in front of him,
and they're old age,
and they don't take him to Jannah, he's
a loser. So which means if you serve
him, then Allah will give you as a
word, Jannah.
Number 3. Number 5. If you go through
a difficulty or a hardship,
then Allah
will remove it because of your kindness to
your parents.
All of us know this hadith and say
a Muslim. 3 people were traveling together,
then it started to rain. They took shelter
in the cave, and a stone fell down,
blocked the entrance to the cave. So they
started to mention some of their good deeds
so Allah will remove the hardship. And one
of them said, oh, Allah,
I'm good to my parents. So remove this
hardship from me, then
the
stone was removed and they got out because
of the blessing of being good to your
parents.
So number 6, and this is the last
one for today.
If you are good to your parents
and you have done something wrong, say at
work, wherever you go, at school, then Allah
subhanahu wa'am, God, will delay the punishment
because of you honoring your parents.
In Surat Yunus,
Musa alayhis salam made du'a against the failed
because he was a Catholic. He didn't accept
the message.
So the scholars of tafsir say that the
time between the dua and Musa
and the answer to his prayer was 40
years, 40. 40 years.
And the reason they say
because the pharaoh had a mother and he
was good to her, so Allah delayed the
punishment for 40 years. As soon as she
died, Allah took him.
Gave
up because of his generosity and kindness to
his mother. That's Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
So in the second book, I will talk
in 2 to 3 minutes about the meaning
of
the opposite of what we said in the
first
to be
ungrateful,
to, to be ungrateful to your parents.
Not to disobey not to obey them, and
not to be generous to them. This is
the opposite.
And the punishment,
So the punishment I'm gonna give a couple
of a hadith
to explain the punishment for
not being grateful and obedient and generous and
kind to your parents. The first hadith in
Bukhari and Muslim,
the prophet
says,
the person who is not grateful and obedient
and kind to his parents will never go
to jail.
In Bukhary and Muslim. So it's an authentic
hadith.
So the second punishment and this is a
very scary hadith.
Every time I read it, I get very
scared.
The Quran sahabi said in this authentic hadith
in At Tabarani,
that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala delays the punishment
for all sins that you commit in this
life till the next life. So you will
get the punishment in the next life except
disobeying your parents and not being grateful and
good to them. So the prophet
says, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala can't wait
to punish you in the next life, so
he hastens
the punishment in this life before you die.
So you are punished here and you are
punished there. And this is a scary punishment.
The last thing I wanna say, some people,
when they're 10 or 12 or more or
less, they treat their parents as their equal.
Believe me. You're not equal to your parents.
The tree is not equal to one of
its branches.
They are the very reason you are here
in this life. So don't talk to them
as your equal.
Don't give them orders around.
Don't tell them you hate them. Don't call
the police every time they tell you to,
fix your bed.
No. You are not their equal. And from
the moment you live
till the moment you die, even if you
serve them your whole life, you'll never be
able to pay them back. And this is
why we are ordered to, to be able
to pay back, to make du'a that Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala will bless them in this
life and give them jannah in the next
life. Again, always put this in your head.
You are not their equal. And whatever you
do to your parents,
your kids will do to you.
Whatever you do to your kid and your
parents,