Mustafa Khattab – Choosing Friends
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AI: Transcript ©
So, again as a reminder insha'Allah, when I
ask a question, raise your hand. Don't stand
up. Don't make noise. And after I finish,
tomorrow's session, inshallah, would be for questions and
answers. Because I can't answer 50 questions at
the same time. And people are talking like
20 guys are talking at the same time.
Right? So I will answer all the questions
tomorrow, insha'Allah. After I finish, no questions. We'll
go to the classroom. Okay? I love you
too. Then we'll answer the questions tomorrow, insha'Allah.
I got a question,
from one of the sisters here,
regarding Al Masjid Al Haram. Do you know
where Masjid Al Haram is? Oh, yeah. I
know. I know. Yes. What's in Halal? In
Mecca. Masjid Al Haram. Good job. Masjid Al
Haram is in Makkah. And the question is,
why do they call it haram?
Because haram is a bad word in Arabic.
Why? Because,
it's haram to do things new that are
bad there. Excellent.
But I'll tell you a story first.
Yeah. There there
what? There was a
there was a guy in a Muslim country,
and this is a true story.
Because when you hear the word haram, it
it it has a con a bad connotation,
like, it is something bad.
So this guy in a Muslim country
I'm not gonna mention the name of the
country. There might be a middle question or
quiz.
But he was a drug dealer.
He was a truck dealer. So he made
100 of 1,000 of £98.
Right?
Eventually,
when he became very old, he decided to
make tawba. Like, okay. I can't do this
anymore. I'm gonna make Tawba to Allah. I'm
gonna do go do Hajj and Umrah, and
so on and so forth. When he came
back, he decided to use all money
to build a big Masjid.
And all the people in the area knew
that he was a thief and he was
a drug dealer. He used all the money
to build a Masjid.
You know what the people called the Masjid?
They called it Al Masjid Al Haram.
Because the money came from Haram sources.
Right? So this is why they called it
Masjid Al Haram.
This is bad.
But, Islamically, it's acceptable to go and pray
in that masjid,
whether
the money is from haram or haram. From
haram, Allah will judge the person.
Haram and Arabi
means that this place is sacred.
In in Egypt and some places in the
Arab world, we call women, we call them
harim.
Right? Harim is,
like a person that you are not allowed
to harm. Right? It's it's it's inviolable.
This is the word we use. A person
you cannot violate and they cannot harm.
The same is true for Al Masjid Al
Haram. Everyone respected Al Masjid Al Haram. Even
at the time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, the the
people of Mecca,
who didn't even worship Allah, they were worshiping
idols. They had respect for this place.
They have stories
that before Islam, they had so many fights
and people were killed and and stuff.
So much so that even the people of
Makkah,
during Tawaf,
if they meet someone
who killed their own father or their own
brother
in Tawaf, they wouldn't touch them. Because now
you are in this place that is sacred,
I cannot harm you.
But when you go outside,
we'll do something else. But inside, it's a
sacred place. You're not allowed to harm the,
the dogs, the pigeons inside. You're not allowed
to harm any other people, and so on
and so forth. So this is what we
call it Al Masjid Haram. Haram here means
sacred.
We're holy. You're not allowed to harm anyone
or anything inside.
What I'm gonna talk to you about today
is,
friendship.
I'm gonna check a couple,
pick a couple of you,
and I'll take the sister. But don't come
here. Don't Who is your favorite friend here?
Why?
Why is is she your best friend?
She helps you. And,
why do you like her?
She gives you money?
No?
Why?
She's nice to you.
The brothers
will take,
we'll take this guy. Finally, I picked you.
Thank you. You're welcome. Hey.
I have 2 best friends. These 2.
Why?
Because they're my soccer buddies.
This is good.
Thank you. We're gonna have friends.
Thank you. So,
today I'll talk about choosing a friend. It's
because
your friends
will
impact you. There is what we call an
English peer
influence. If your friends are good, you'll be
good like them. If your friends are bad,
you will copy their example.
There are stories
there are stories
from the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam that
many people accepted Islam
because of their good friends. Like, their friends
were good, like Abu Bakr
You know the Ashur Sahaba who got the
news of Jannah?
Abu Bakr Uthman Ali, so on and so
forth.
The 2 Sahaba of Jannah,
many of them accepted Islam because they were
good friends to Abu Bakr
They knew he was a good man even
before Islam. So as soon as we told
them about Islam,
this is what we do.
1, 2, 3, Sala, Namaz, we give Zakah,
we do this, we stay away from Haram.
They said okay,
say no more. They accepted Islam, because they
believed in him, and they accepted him as
a good friend.
On the other hand, there are some people
at the time of the Prophet
who didn't accept Islam because of their friends.
Although,
they believed Islam was the truth, although they
like the Prophet
Although they believe the Quran was from Allah,
but they didn't accept Islam
to please their friends.
One of them
rather than haraf. He accepted Islam because the
prophet visited him in his house, and he
made dawah to him.
So he accepted Islam, then after the prophet
left,
he passed by his friend,
this man, and his friend said, okay. You
accepted Islam, you betrayed me. I'm not your
friend anymore. He said, okay. What do you
want me to do? He said, go to
Muhammad and tell him you are not a
Muslim, you are not a believer. And this
is what he did.
And he even said things and he abused
the Prophet SAW Alaihi Wasallam to please his
friends. There's also another guy,
you know Surah Najm?
Most of the end it says
So what happens, there was a man,
he liked the Quran,
he believed in Islam,
then when his friend found out he was
so mad, and he told him, okay. You
betrayed us. You accepted Islam. You're not my
friend anymore.
So this man
said, okay. So what do you want me
to do? He said, go tell Muhammad that
you don't believe in Islam anymore. So the
message that I'm afraid of Jahannam, I'm afraid
of the fire because
you know if I leave it and I
will be punished in akhirah or something you
know I'm afraid. I want to go to
Jahannam, I don't want to go to Jahannam.
So his friend said,
I'll make a deal with
you. You leave Muhammad
and on the day of judgement, if there
is actually Jahannam a punishment,
I will go to Jahannam in your place,
but you have to pay pay me money
here. So they made a deal that he
was going to pay him 10,000
and he would take his place in Jahannam.
Right?
His friend paid him a couple of months
then he said okay I paid you already
22,000
this is enough for Jahannam Khalasa I'm not
gonna pay again.
Does he look at after to see that
someone can take the punishment of another?
It is written
that no one would be punished in the
place of the another because everyone would be
accountable only for themselves.
So as you can see here,
some people
became, Muslim because of their friends, and some
people didn't become at the time of the
prophet
because they were influenced by their friends.
In one minute inshallah, I'm gonna
remind you of something that Imam Ibn Khayyim
said about friends
or the people you deal with every day,
and he classified them into 4 types. The
first type he said
Kelhiva.
They are like the air you breathe,
the food you eat, and the water you
drink. They are very essential to your life.
You cannot survive with them.
Like they're always helping you, they're nice to
you, they show you the right way. So
these are the good people that you should
hang out with.
The second type,
they are like a dawah, like medicine. You
take medicine every day, or only when you
need it? Only. Only when you need it.
If you have a fever,
your Tylenol,
so
on. So only when you need it, you
take it.
So he is saying basically that these are
the types of people like colleagues,
like the people you do business with,
the people who are who sit next to
you in the train or the plane.
Right? The people you go to school with
and so on and so forth.
The third type of people
they are like
disease.
Get that. If you get close to them
you will be harmed. If you stay away
from them, you'll be good. For example,
the people you play video games with
247,
like you play with it all the time.
They're not asking you to do something ham,
but they are basically wasting your time.
Some
of our brothers who are older, if they
go to Tim Hortons,
they stay there for hours, and they talk
about politics, and they talk about this and
that, and,
the, you know,
business and all these things.
So basically, they are talking about things that
is not going to benefit them in dunya
al efra. They talk about the weather, they
would talk about politics,
they would talk about video games.
They are not harming anyone, but they are
just wasting their life. Your life is very
precious.
There should be time for everything. Yes. Play
video games for half an hour, 1 hour,
pray,
play,
eat,
sit with your family. There's time for everything.
The 4 5,
they are like poison.
They are the people that they will harm
you. So try to stay away from, and
these are the people who always try to
keep you away from the good
and invite you to the bad. If you
want to go to the masjid to pray,
they'll say no. No. No. No. Don't worry
about it. If you wanna go, like, to
your neighbor and steal their apples or,
kill their chicken, yeah. Let's do it. And
they do haram things as well. So if
you wanna do something good, they will stop
you. If you wanna do something bad, let's
go and do it.
So stay away from them completely. So let's
go today, inshaAllah, we ask Allah
to bless you and your family. Insha'Allah, we'll
talk more about choosing a friend than how
to appreciate your friend.