Mustafa Khattab – AdabulKhilaf Etiquittes of Disagreement in Islam 3

And also,

arrogance.

You will know the arrogant person

by the number he uses the word I,

me, mine, our, in his conversation.

One reason

that some people were destroyed in the Quran

is because of their use of these particular

words.

The shaitan,

for example, said,

I'm better than him. You created me from

fire,

you created him from mud, so I must

be better.

The word I.

Fir'aun, for example, said,

I'm Anafayun

bin Hazal Lavi Huwamahinum walayakearu

Yubin.

I'm much better this is Farouk speaking. I'm

much better than this person

who is disgraced,

humiliated, he's very low in the society.

He can't even articulate

his opinions. He is talking about Musa

And so on and so forth, there are

so many,

examples

in the Quran.

There is also a problem

You know, speaking about arrogance. Some people are

arrogant because of their position in the Sahid

when you speak to, you know, I'm not

saying that all doctors are bad, but if

you talk to a doctor or an officer,

and because of his position, he will not

listen to you even if you are right.

But because of, you know,

the arrogance.

Or because of the age.

Old people, it is, you know, very difficult

sometimes for some older brothers, like 50s, 60s

to listen to someone in his twenties,

just because of the age.

So age should not be a problem,

you know, among Muslims. Who is

right should be followed

regardless of his

age. I remember one time,

in, reading in the story of Al Mamun,

he was one of the Khalifa.

The delegations used to come to him.

So one of the delegations

selected

a very young gentleman to speak to Mamun

on behalf of, you know, the other delegates

or the people with him.

So when Mahmoon said, you know, he was,

like, 12 years old or something. And in

the group, there were people in their fifties,

sixties, seventies.

So he told him,

aren't there other people who are older to

speak for the group than this young

kid?

So,

the young man said, O Khalifa, in Namal

Marbu, piaz dalayhi harpubu walisan.

We judge the person,

or the person should be respected

for what is in his heart and what

he says by his tongue.

And he told him, if it was a

matter of

age, there are many Muslims, like millions of

Muslims who are older than you,

and they were more eligible to be in

your place than you are, because they are

older than you.

So, Alhamdulillah the Khalifa was convinced, and he

let him talk. And at the end, He

gave him

a big prize.

It's a great

blessing from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to forget.

And Mashallah, the sisters

forget a lot of things.

And this is something good

to forget.

There are some people who remember everything.

When they talk to, you know, talk to

the brother,

for example,

that today, when you parked your car in

the parking lot,

your car was very close, it was almost

standing on the line.

So we are talking about something that happened

5 minutes ago.

The other brother was saying, for example:

But remember, you know,

15 years ago, you did something to me.

Like, when we're standing in the salah,

you stand on my foot.

15 years ago!

So this is one of the problems. We

always remember things that happened a long time

ago,

and this affects our attitude when we talk

to the people.

We need to forget, and we need to

forgive. And this is a blessing from Allah

Making generalizations

about people is also another problem.

You know, if you talk to one of

the brothers,

you guys don't respect me. How come? Your

brother said something yesterday about me. He didn't

like my haircut

or my clothes. Yes. So what do I

have to do with this? My brother said

it No. No. No. You are bad people.

All of you are bad people. You know,

brother, I didn't say anything. I respect you

around my bro and by the way, I

love your haircut.

No. No. No. No. No. No. All of

you are bad people.

We Muslims suffer from generalizations

in the media, like, all of us are

terrorists, all of us are this and that.

Islamically,

everyone

should be judged individually,

not collectively.

On the Day of Judgments, Allah Subhanahu Wa

Ta'ala will not ask you

why the people in California are not praying.

He will ask you about yourself,

not other people.

We how many times do we read in

the Quran, walaatazhu

waazratum wizra'ofra?

Every soul shall be judged,

rewarded, or punished according to its own deeds,

not anybody else's deeds.

We have to do the same thing.

We will talk very briefly, inshallah, about the

etiquettes of this agreement in Islam. The first

one

is,

when you talk to

some people,

about something they have done, your intention should

be

that you are doing this for the sake

of Allah,

not for the sake of disagreeing with people.

So you will make a scene, or the

people will say, oh, he's a hero.

He's a scholar. You know? He just,

you know, cites all the evidence from the

Quran. So no. No. No. No. You will

not get any word for what you say

unless your intention

is pure for Allah subhanahu wa

ta'ala.

I remember reading,

the description of Al Jahiz,

one of the, you know,

the literary scholars in Islam, Al Jahaz.

One of his descriptions

of the,

the the prophet

as a great articulate, you know, Muslim

using the Arabic language

that he didn't mean to offend

his opponent when he spoke to the people.

I will give one example.

He always showed respect to the people. He

was not arguing for the sake of argument.

He was arguing so the people would accept

Islam

or he would make a point.

But the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam didn't talk

a lot.

And that's why

it was very simple for the scholars of

hadith to collect

the sayings of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa

sallam. If we make

the sayings of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa

sallam in all the books of Hadith, Bukhali,

Muslim, Nisa'at, and Midi,

of all, you know, of these books, the

words of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam

will make about

15, 20 percent of the this book. The

rest will be descriptions of what the Prophet

sallallahu alaihi wa sallam did

or agreed upon.

Like how he prayed, how he fasted, how

he made pilgrimage, so on and so

forth.

He would say very brief things, and they

mean a whole lot of things.

He didn't talk too much.

He would listen more than he would talk.

So that was the Prophet

and his behavior with the people.

Every time

we have a difference about some something,

we should refer

this difference or the whole issue to the

book of Allah and the sunnah of the

Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. And this is

what Allah says in the Quran. Fa'intanazakum

iswatinisad.

Wa'alashatulrajeem

fa'intanazakum

If you disagree on something,

then refer it to the book of Allah

and to the sunnah of the prophet

if you do believe in Allah and in

the final day, the day of judgement.

Sometimes,

when,

you know, people have disagreements,

on something.

And you tell one of the brothers, you

know, you should do it this way.

Because Allah says in the Quran and the

Prophet says in the Hadith, He will tell

you, you know, brother

But Imam Ibn Hanbal Askalani for example said

this and this.

The Imam next to my house says this

and this.

You tell him SubhanAllah, Allah is still saying

something, the Prophet is saying something, and you

are telling me, ibn Hanbal Askalani

is saying this, or Imam al Khwarizmi is

saying this or this.

I mean,

you should listen to what Allah says, and

to what the Prophet says, not what other

people say. They might be mistaken,

or maybe they are saying the right thing,

but you misunderstood what they were saying.

What they were saying.