Mustafa Khattab – AdabulKhilaf Etiquittes of Disagreement in Islam 3
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The use of "will" and "will" in people's conversations is often associated with arrogance, and older Muslims do not follow age and are not properly listened by brothers. The importance of forgiveness and forgetting past experiences is emphasized. The speaker gives examples of problems with generalizations about people and the need to forgive people, as well as the etiquette of the agreement in Islam where one person should not ask the other for their opinion. The speaker emphasizes the need to refer to the Prophet's words and encourage people to listen to what he says.
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And also,
arrogance.
You will know the arrogant person
by the number he uses the word I,
me, mine, our, in his conversation.
One reason
that some people were destroyed in the Quran
is because of their use of these particular
words.
The shaitan,
for example, said,
I'm better than him. You created me from
fire,
you created him from mud, so I must
be better.
The word I.
Fir'aun, for example, said,
I'm Anafayun
bin Hazal Lavi Huwamahinum walayakearu
Yubin.
I'm much better this is Farouk speaking. I'm
much better than this person
who is disgraced,
humiliated, he's very low in the society.
He can't even articulate
his opinions. He is talking about Musa
And so on and so forth, there are
so many,
examples
in the Quran.
There is also a problem
You know, speaking about arrogance. Some people are
arrogant because of their position in the Sahid
when you speak to, you know, I'm not
saying that all doctors are bad, but if
you talk to a doctor or an officer,
and because of his position, he will not
listen to you even if you are right.
But because of, you know,
the arrogance.
Or because of the age.
Old people, it is, you know, very difficult
sometimes for some older brothers, like 50s, 60s
to listen to someone in his twenties,
just because of the age.
So age should not be a problem,
you know, among Muslims. Who is
right should be followed
regardless of his
age. I remember one time,
in, reading in the story of Al Mamun,
he was one of the Khalifa.
The delegations used to come to him.
So one of the delegations
selected
a very young gentleman to speak to Mamun
on behalf of, you know, the other delegates
or the people with him.
So when Mahmoon said, you know, he was,
like, 12 years old or something. And in
the group, there were people in their fifties,
sixties, seventies.
So he told him,
aren't there other people who are older to
speak for the group than this young
kid?
So,
the young man said, O Khalifa, in Namal
Marbu, piaz dalayhi harpubu walisan.
We judge the person,
or the person should be respected
for what is in his heart and what
he says by his tongue.
And he told him, if it was a
matter of
age, there are many Muslims, like millions of
Muslims who are older than you,
and they were more eligible to be in
your place than you are, because they are
older than you.
So, Alhamdulillah the Khalifa was convinced, and he
let him talk. And at the end, He
gave him
a big prize.
It's a great
blessing from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to forget.
And Mashallah, the sisters
forget a lot of things.
And this is something good
to forget.
There are some people who remember everything.
When they talk to, you know, talk to
the brother,
for example,
that today, when you parked your car in
the parking lot,
your car was very close, it was almost
standing on the line.
So we are talking about something that happened
5 minutes ago.
The other brother was saying, for example:
But remember, you know,
15 years ago, you did something to me.
Like, when we're standing in the salah,
you stand on my foot.
15 years ago!
So this is one of the problems. We
always remember things that happened a long time
ago,
and this affects our attitude when we talk
to the people.
We need to forget, and we need to
forgive. And this is a blessing from Allah
Making generalizations
about people is also another problem.
You know, if you talk to one of
the brothers,
you guys don't respect me. How come? Your
brother said something yesterday about me. He didn't
like my haircut
or my clothes. Yes. So what do I
have to do with this? My brother said
it No. No. No. You are bad people.
All of you are bad people. You know,
brother, I didn't say anything. I respect you
around my bro and by the way, I
love your haircut.
No. No. No. No. No. No. All of
you are bad people.
We Muslims suffer from generalizations
in the media, like, all of us are
terrorists, all of us are this and that.
Islamically,
everyone
should be judged individually,
not collectively.
On the Day of Judgments, Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala will not ask you
why the people in California are not praying.
He will ask you about yourself,
not other people.
We how many times do we read in
the Quran, walaatazhu
waazratum wizra'ofra?
Every soul shall be judged,
rewarded, or punished according to its own deeds,
not anybody else's deeds.
We have to do the same thing.
We will talk very briefly, inshallah, about the
etiquettes of this agreement in Islam. The first
one
is,
when you talk to
some people,
about something they have done, your intention should
be
that you are doing this for the sake
of Allah,
not for the sake of disagreeing with people.
So you will make a scene, or the
people will say, oh, he's a hero.
He's a scholar. You know? He just,
you know, cites all the evidence from the
Quran. So no. No. No. No. You will
not get any word for what you say
unless your intention
is pure for Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
I remember reading,
the description of Al Jahiz,
one of the, you know,
the literary scholars in Islam, Al Jahaz.
One of his descriptions
of the,
the the prophet
as a great articulate, you know, Muslim
using the Arabic language
that he didn't mean to offend
his opponent when he spoke to the people.
I will give one example.
He always showed respect to the people. He
was not arguing for the sake of argument.
He was arguing so the people would accept
Islam
or he would make a point.
But the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam didn't talk
a lot.
And that's why
it was very simple for the scholars of
hadith to collect
the sayings of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa
sallam. If we make
the sayings of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa
sallam in all the books of Hadith, Bukhali,
Muslim, Nisa'at, and Midi,
of all, you know, of these books, the
words of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam
will make about
15, 20 percent of the this book. The
rest will be descriptions of what the Prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam did
or agreed upon.
Like how he prayed, how he fasted, how
he made pilgrimage, so on and so
forth.
He would say very brief things, and they
mean a whole lot of things.
He didn't talk too much.
He would listen more than he would talk.
So that was the Prophet
and his behavior with the people.
Every time
we have a difference about some something,
we should refer
this difference or the whole issue to the
book of Allah and the sunnah of the
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. And this is
what Allah says in the Quran. Fa'intanazakum
iswatinisad.
Wa'alashatulrajeem
fa'intanazakum
If you disagree on something,
then refer it to the book of Allah
and to the sunnah of the prophet
if you do believe in Allah and in
the final day, the day of judgement.
Sometimes,
when,
you know, people have disagreements,
on something.
And you tell one of the brothers, you
know, you should do it this way.
Because Allah says in the Quran and the
Prophet says in the Hadith, He will tell
you, you know, brother
But Imam Ibn Hanbal Askalani for example said
this and this.
The Imam next to my house says this
and this.
You tell him SubhanAllah, Allah is still saying
something, the Prophet is saying something, and you
are telling me, ibn Hanbal Askalani
is saying this, or Imam al Khwarizmi is
saying this or this.
I mean,
you should listen to what Allah says, and
to what the Prophet says, not what other
people say. They might be mistaken,
or maybe they are saying the right thing,
but you misunderstood what they were saying.
What they were saying.