Mustafa Abu Rayyan – 56 Tafseer Surah alBaqarah Verses 233234
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We're continuing
the tafsir
explanation
of the second surah, Surah Al Baqarah.
And
we left off at ayah number 233.
And one of the benefits,
of the Quran and more specifically Surz Al
Baqarah
is exposes you to
everything that the Quran contains,
morals,
values,
character,
belief,
stories of the past,
but also the rules by which we live
this life in, the akham, the halal and
the haram,
The laws by which we should govern ourselves
with. And today we are doing those ayaats.
Last, time we were here
we were doing the ayaats that were related
to divorce.
And we did a lot of rulings.
How does a divorce happen?
What are some of the rulings that happen
afterwards?
How many divorce can you issue?
And when you issue the final divorce, what
are the rulings that will take into place?
When can a couple get back together if
ever?
And all those rulings.
And,
the last ayah that we did
was related to
if a couple divorce, if the husband issues
the talaq, the divorce
and then the idag period finishes, the waiting
period finishes,
but they still have the capacity to get
back together because they only issued 1 or
maybe
2 and then during this time of separation,
they decide that they can get back together.
Sometimes family will intervene and say, no. Do
not get back together for whatever reason. In
fact, I was told of a couple
that
they
were having a lot of marital issues.
And then
they decided that they were going to separate
and they separated. And when they separated,
afterwards they had a small baby together
that
the 2,
the couple that were married, they decided that
they should get back together and that they
should make it work.
But it was actually their respective families that
were against it.
It was their respective families
that were against it. No. Do not get
back together. And here Allah says,
And when you have divorced woman and then
the the term,
the waiting period has been fulfilled,
do not prevent them
to marry their former husbands again, to get
back together,
if they mutually agree
on a reasonable basis.
That particular couple, they actually just realized that
the issues that they had to begin with
was because of their families. And sometimes that
can happen. Right? Allah doesn't bless everyone with
good families. Sometimes
and this is for brothers, sisters, parents.
Remember sometimes
you are part of the problem.
So the advice that you give to if
if you have a daughter that is married
or you have a son that is married
or you have a sister that is married
or you have a brother that is married,
you sometimes may be interfering in their marriage
in a negative way without realizing it. No
one wants evil for their family members ever.
But sometimes you think that you know best
but you don't. So it's important that we
take that into consideration as well. And at
the end of the day, what we always
want is to preserve homes and families that
is what's best for the children and for
the people as well.
We discussed a lot of things related to
to talaq and
and fasih and all this stuff.
Here Allah
speaks about
an an ayah that is about
the taking care of the child
because children are impacted when a divorce happens.
So what are the rules related to this?
More particularly when
they are babies and what do babies need
most? They need their mothers to breastfeed them
and to suckle them. Right? Here Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala says,
The mothers
shall
breastfeed their babies,
their children
for 2 whole years.
For those parents who desire to complete
the term.
So here you're learning something quite interesting which
is that
how detailed al Sharia is.
Allah Almighty is telling us the amount of
time we should be breastfeeding the children or
the mother should be breastfeeding the children, which
is how much?
2 years.
Now,
here,
this ayah, where Allah says mothers
but but I want you to keep in
mind the context.
We were talking about what kind of mothers,
what kind of people, the foresees. That's what
the context is. So it's mainly talking about
couples that have divorced and have a child
together, what they should or shouldn't be doing.
But a lot of us in here would
also imply some of some of it in
here will also apply to people that are
together as well. Allah is saying that the
responsibility
of the mother that has a child is
to give it milk for how long?
If they desire to complete the term meaning,
and this is very important,
in Islam
when a child,
drinks from,
other than their mother,
that person becomes their mother. What does that
mean?
Sometimes what happen is Let's say there's an
orphan child. The mother died in childbirth. May
Allah protect our mothers. That can happen. Right?
And then you have a baby that needs
to be adopted, fostered, whatever. Right? And then
another mother takes this child.
Another mother takes this child
and
she's not related to this child, is she?
But if she breastfeeds this child,
then that child becomes her child,
and it will become related
to the other children that she has or
may have. So they actually become family. So
among the ways people become family in Islam
is 3 ways. By
blood, your blood relatives,
actual brothers, sisters, cousins that you share lineage
and parents with. Or you sometimes become family
through marriage. Right? And you also become family
through milk, through breastfeeding. If you suckle from
the same mother, you are brother and sisters.
Does that make sense?
But that is only applies in the 1st
2 years.
In what? The first two years.
So let's say your let's say it was
a child that was 2 and a half
years old 2 and a half 3 years
old,
and
there was a and it drank the milk
of a of a well, usually they're eating
by then. But let's just say it drank
the milk for it was breastfed by a
woman.
That child will never become her child.
Why?
Because the term for breastfeeding is how long?
2 years.
Okay.
Now we know the responsibility of the mother
to her child is that she's supposed to
take care of the child. The child should
stay with her.
Remember, there is a separation now, and the
child is staying with her because she's breastfeeding
the child. So the father now can't be,
what is the father's responsibility in this situation?
Allah says,
and for the father of the child
for the father of the child,
It
is his responsibility to bear the cost
of food and clothing.
Food and clothing for who?
For the
but the child is not eating yet.
So food and clothing for who?
For the child,
clothing of course and also for the mother.
But he divorced the mother. Why does he
still have to pay? Because she's taking care
of his child. So
Allah is telling us here the father's responsibility
even after divorce is to spend on
the mother of his child
as long as she is
breastfeeding the child.
Is that the what if she, right. So
now there seems to be a division of
labor. So
she takes care of the child, he spends
on them.
Then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said,
No person shall have a burden laid on
him greater than he or she can bear.
Why is that important?
Because it could be that the woman says
you need to pay me this much
and he can't afford it.
Does she gets to decide whatever he spends
on her?
No.
Does he get to decide and say, you
know what? I'm going to give you, I
don't know, this much and it's not enough.
Who decides that? And this is a really
important point in marriage and divorce and and
we mentioned this a couple of times already.
When things have not been made clear in
the Quran. So Allah did not say he
should pay the child this much
and the mother this much. That's not clear.
So how much what would this who would
decide this? Adam?
It goes back to
societal norms. It goes back to societal norms.
So what how much does a
a
a man spend on his baby,
and,
in a customary.
And that would differ
from person to person. Why? Because
if she's from a very rich background, it
could be that she is from an affluent,
family or area and so is he.
Or it could be that they're both from
a more struggling families. Would they be giving
the same amount of
so what's taken into consideration is the state
of the person. Right?
This is very important.
So even,
let's say a man and a woman got
married
and they didn't agree on a dowry.
They didn't agree on a dowry, and they
got married. The marriage is Sahid, but he
still has to give her a dowry. How
much?
How much? We go back to what? Societal
norms. If she is the daughter of a
billionaire,
if she's a daughter of a billionaire
and all of her surroundings are people that
are very affluent and rich,
then the type of dowry she would get
would not be the same
as if she was from the complete other
spectrum.
And that is taken into consideration in Islam.
Why? Because it will make it will make
sense
that someone who
who is from a very rich background
to be given a £100 as a dowry.
Right? And the same
also wouldn't make sense. Someone imagine
a a a woman,
who and, they got married and he's
just a factory worker.
And I don't know. She whatever the case
is. Right? So they're just
making it or,
the paycheck to paycheck kind of lifestyle.
And she says, well, we didn't agree on
a dowry but
I want,
70 k, 80 k, a 100 k. That's
what I want.
But we never agreed. Yeah. But that's the
kind of we get.
It wouldn't it wouldn't make sense. What? So
Sharia, the the actual takes into consideration.
Right? That's what the Urimati used to say,
if you marry a woman
who when growing up she had maids and
butlers
and then when after you marry her, she
says, listen. I'm done with cooking and cleaning.
I used to I grew up in a
house with maids and but that's what you
have to provide that
because that's what because
but if she agreed that she was going
to downgrade because she loves you, then you
don't have to. So that's quite interesting that
if this case was brought to a judge
and she says listen this is how I
used to live and now I'm living and
I can't do this anymore.
Because even psychologically it would be a lot
more difficult for that person. Right? Than someone
that always lived at. So Islam
looks at societal norms.
If the societal norms are wrong, Islam corrects
it. If they're not wrong, Islam allows it
and keeps it intact. Does that make sense?
So
here,
how long should she be breastfeeding the child?
2 years.
If they want to
complete the term, meaning if they don't want
to complete the term, it doesn't have to
be 2 years. Right? Taib.
Then what is the responsibility of the father?
Food and
clothing. Then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says no
one will burden more than they can bear.
Then Allah said
This This is a very important point.
Allah said, no mother shall be treated unfairly
on account of her child
nor a father treated unfairly
on account of the child. So what happens
in marriages usually when they break apart and
they're really bad, they start
to use the child to harm the other
person.
So it could be that the mother says,
you know what? Forget this. I'm not going
to breastfeed the child. It's your child. Let
it starve.
It doesn't happen often but it can happen
especially if she's really bitter. Or he could
say, pay you or you're not I'm not
gonna pay you anything. Go away. You and
your child.
Is this allowed in Islam? No.
Or it could be that she says, alright.
I'll take care of the child but I
want this much and this much. Something that's
unreasonable.
Or it could be that he says, I'll
pay you but I'll pay you 4 pound
or something weird like that. So what I'm
trying to say is they can both they
can both potentially
harm each other.
Right?
This is related to the child or it
could be, I won't let you see my
child.
Drop the money off. Put it in the
right? Send it to me. Right? And I'll
send you a picture every 2 months
to see he's he's growing.
Right?
Refusing the father to see the child. This
is something that is not allowed in Islam.
Right? This is not allowed in Islam.
So men are not when they when they
separate,
they're not allowed to use the child to
harm each other or generally harm each other.
And Allah says in the Quran,
do not forget the good that you had
in between. 3 weeks ago you were both
married. Now you're enemy number 1.
Right? This is not this is inappropriate behavior
and we find it a lot in our
societies and in our
we see it a lot. Someone comes and
says, I haven't seen my child for 3
years. Why? Oh, we had a really bad
divorce and now she's not letting me see
my child.
This is wallahi. My sisters my sisters,
if you are refusing
for your husband,
there are always extended circumstances where the husband
may have been abusive or whatever. But generally
speaking,
don't refuse your husbands
or your ex husbands
to see their child. It's also their child.
Fear Allah in that regard.
Fear Allah in that regard and often it
is the mothers that have all this power
and they're like, yes, never.
This is unfair to the father and unfair
to the child.
And the same thing goes with the brothers.
Do not abandon your children just because you're
angry at the person that gave birth to
them and do not be
giving her less or nothing at all just
because you're upset with how it happened. This
is all not allowed in Islam and Allah
will ask us about our relationships.
Allah will ask us about relationships even those
that have ended and SubhanAllah.
Just because you 2 are not married anymore
doesn't mean there's no relationship there. You're both
parenting a child together and that means that
we need to figure out how to do
this in the best way possible.
Right?
It is sad that
when it shouldn't be the case that when
a divorce happens and the family breaks up,
that that child is over, but he becomes
a statistic.
Right? That's not fair.
Say,
kids that grow up in a single household
or a single mother household, this happens and
they are this in education. Why is that
the case?
The the the marriage ended, but the responsibility
of the father is still there. The responsibility
of the mother is still there, and they
should strive for this. Here Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala is saying that they cannot harm each
other. Now the harm that used to happen
in the past, when Allah was reading these
ayaats, was that sometimes
the woman may either refuse to
to nurture the child and
and and and breastfeed the child in in
the most appropriate way or she would demand
a lot of money, or something like this,
or the husband would give a little or
something along those lines. So, this is not
allowed in Islam.
So
Allah established 2 responsibilities here,
Responsibility of nurturing and feeding the child or
breastfeeding the child, which is upon the mother.
Responsibility of spending on the child, which is
a one day father,
tayib.
What if the father passes away?
Who takes that responsibility?
Allah says,
and to the one who inherits the father.
Let's say the father passed away, who would
inherit him? Who are some of the people
that will line up to inherit his wealth?
Well who comes to mind?
Parents, who else?
Siblings. Who else?
Uncles. So these people,
they now become in charge of his responsibilities.
Which particular responsibility they just now had, he
was spending on? The child and the mother
of the child. So if he passes away,
who does that?
The family his extended his family and extended
family.
So in other words,
Allah is establishing here that that child will
be
taken care of. Will be taken care of.
There's someone else that also inherits him. If
the father dies, don't his children inherit him?
And we have a baby right here that
needs to be spent on. He gets a
portion of the inheritance. So in that way
he's spending on who?
The child is spending on himself. How is
that possible?
How is that possible? Well, the portion of
inheritance that he gets is used to support
his mother.
This is also,
it's interesting because in Islam what we have
is it is very possible for a newborn
baby to have financial responsibilities.
How, you would say. Zakat, for example.
Charity.
So
if a child inherits money,
that child has to pay Zakat.
How is it going to pay zakat when
it can't even walk?
The guardians of that child will ensure that
whatever money they inherited,
the zakat is paid from. Does that make
sense?
Now if the couple decide
to do fisal what is fisal? To wean
the child off, halas. She said, I've been
doing it for a year,
I don't want to go the full term,
which is how long?
Can you just do that? Can you just
say, halas, I'm done. The child is strong
enough,
a year is enough.
I don't want to do it anymore. Can
she just make that decision independently? No. Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala said, if they want to
stop feeding the child or breastfeeding the child,
and by the way it's a lot healthier,
to finalize, a lot healthier for it for
the baby for, to receive milk from its
mother than this artificial stuff that we buy
from the shops.
Now,
if the mother decides
this, then
it has to be
something
that is a mutual consent.
Both the father and the mother have to
agree.
By mutual consent
and consultation. So they have to speak to
each other. Hey, you learned something
else. By this time, she could be married
to another man. Right? So it's been a
year. He divorced a year ago. In that
year, he was spending on them. By then,
she got married to another man.
Now he is her
ex,
but they have a child together that they
have to communicate over. This type of communication,
is it allowed? It's allowed. Right? So let's
say a man married a woman that was
previously married.
There could be times that she has to
communicate to the father of her children. This
type of communication is allowed.
Right?
And,
as long as it's kept appropriate,
this is, something that know sometimes it drops
people the wrong way,
you know,
when
your wife has to speak
to her ex.
But if it's in the,
if it's for the purpose of the child,
then it makes perfect sense. Does that make
sense? And we have to be mature about
these things. Here,
mutual agreement and consent. So why? Because the
man is spending
on her. So if she says halaas, I'm
done, the child's okay and he can stop
eating and then if they agree there is
no sin on them.
Now Allah says
then,
what if we decide
that there's a foster mother that's going to
suckle the child?
If you decide that then there's no sin
and this just happened a lot in the
past. It doesn't happen so much now anymore
but it used to happen quite often in
the past past where you have people
who would,
foster and suckle the child on behalf of
the mother on behalf of the mother for
for whatever reasons. And this was if they
agree that someone else will do on their
behalf
provided
that,
the,
the,
the person that's doing the responsibility
is being compensated.
And then Allah subhanahu wa'ala says, wataq Allah,
fear Allah. Oh by the way it's not
something that you should rush into
because the moment another woman
suckles a child
they become
what? Related.
So
you should think about who you want your
child to be related to. Right? And, you
know, in the sometimes people
don't,
are not careful.
What can happen is,
2 neighbors
especially in the past and it would it
would happen in a case like this. Two
neighbors, their friends, they both give birth, at
the same time and they're not related
and they have children, you know, a newborn
baby.
And then the the neighbor woman, she decides,
that her her neighbor's child is crying,
crying, crying, crying. You know what? Let me
just,
get it quiet.
And she said, you know, let me give
it some milk. And she's breastfeeding
a child that's not hers.
She does that more than 5 times,
that child becomes also her child.
And then there's rules that come with that.
All of her other children become siblings
to that child. So it's it's there are
consequences to this. Right? There are consequences to
this. Could be a good thing. Masha'Allah now
the family is a bit bigger.
But it's something to keep in mind. All
of a sudden, your,
your child who had one sibling or no
siblings now has 7 brothers and 7 sisters.
So this could this could be a possibility.
They have to be careful. And sometimes they
did people didn't know these rulings and they
said and then they found out later that
happened during the time of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam where 2 people end up getting
married and later found out that they were
best fed by the same woman. Making them
effectively what? Brother and sister. It's dangerous stuff.
That's why it's important that we learn the
fiqh. Ta'ib.
What Allah Allah said,
is all seeing of what you are doing.
So fear Allah and do not harm your
children. Fear Allah and give your children their
rights. Fear Allah and just because you 2
have been divorced does not mean that you
can transgress upon each other. Fear Allah fulfill
your responsibility
of breastfeeding the child, of nurturing this child,
of taking care of the child, of spending
on the child and fear Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala in your relationships
and your dealings
even if you have divorced each other.
Indeed, Allah is
aware and seeing that which you are doing.
The following ayah
is talking about the
widow.
So all this time we were talking about
the divorcee and the woman who divorces and
the rules related to that.
If we can do a recap,
if a woman
is divorced
but
they have not been intimate,
They didn't they contract
and then before they even got a chance
to see each other, he divorced her. How
long
is her eda period?
What did you say, Marcin?
She has no ida. Very good. She has
no ida. Okay.
He divorced a a woman that was pregnant.
How long was her idah?
Until she gives birth.
He divorced a woman that wasn't pregnant,
but,
she
is
she doesn't have a cycle
either because she she she doesn't have a
regular cycle. How long is her in the
period?
She doesn't have a cycle.
It's 3 months.
3 months. If she has no cycle,
her idah is how long?
3 months. If she does have a cycle,
how long is her idah?
3
cycles and there's khalaaf whether that means a
menstrual cycle or
the the cycle which is pure, payib.
What how so that now you know all
the different waiting periods. Right? What is the
waiting period if her husband dies?
It's different. Now she's a widow.
Everything else we were discussing was a divorcee.
Allah says,
and those of you who die
and leave wives behind
They
wait,
the waiting period at the end, the morning
period and the waiting period at the end
is
4 months,
and 10 days. 4 months end?
10 days.
So if a husband if a woman's husband
dies,
she cannot get married again for how long?
For 4 months end? 10 days. Unless she
was pregnant, Then the rule reverts back to
until she gives birth, which is quite interesting.
The the birth points are quite interesting because
a woman who is
8 and a half months pregnant,
how long is her Ida roughly gonna be?
2 weeks. Her Ida is gonna be 2
weeks, roughly. Right?
A woman that is just becoming pregnant, how
long is her idag?
9 months. So pregnancies idag can be either
really really short
or or really really long.
And that is the only time
a widow a widow,
if she was pregnant
then her idah is until she gives birth.
Other than that,
she has to wait for
4 months 10 days.
And when they fulfill their term, there's no
sin on them,
if they
dispose of themselves just in an honorable manner.
What this is talking about is, I have
to give you some history here,
So in the past during the time of
the prophet
if your husband if if a woman's husband
dies, they would stick her in a in
a place separate from society for a full
year. So, 1 year she would interact with
anyone, she wasn't just nice, she would be
in a morning period
for a full year.
Then, alhamdulillah, the Sharia came and that was
reduced
and a lot of the superstitious rules that
they had was getting rid of. So a
woman,
what is what are the rulings of a
woman whose husband dies?
She enters into what is called the Ikhdad,
which is the mourning period.
So she's given amount time to grieve. There's
a hadith of Prophet
where the Prophet
said the grieving period is 3 days.
So unless it is a husband,
which in case it's 4 more to 10
days. So what is a grieving period?
So when when you lose someone you you,
of course, you enter into a state of
sadness
and sorrow
and you need space and you're given this
and also,
it is not a time where you're
getting,
going out to have fun and party and
socialize, none of that.
So when a woman's
husband dies,
these are the following rules she has to
follow.
Number 1, she entered into the the idah
period which is the waiting period for 4
months 10 days. In those 4 months 10
days
she is not allowed to leave her house
unless it is there is a need for
it. So can she go shopping? Yes. Can
she go to a hospital appointment? Yes. Can
she go out and socialize?
No. She doesn't socialize that time. Right? So
anything that is a not anything for a
need she can but she will
not socialize or go to weddings or anything
like this for how long? For 4 months
end? 10 days. Anything that school runs, things
at least they're allowed to do. Right? This
is the the,
grieving
and Ida period.
They're also not allowed to adorn themselves.
They don't
wear nice clothes or put makeup on or
henna
or the prophet even asked, can we put
on
kuhul?
What's kuhul called again? I
is it mascara?
Yeah. I don't know if it's called eyeliner
or eye shadow. There's too many things nowadays.
Kohl. But we do you know what Kohl
is? Right. Now what's the actual does anyone
know the actual translation for Kohl in English?
Yes. The sisters are probably screaming right now
saying it's this
Yes. So So a woman came to prophet
salam and asked, are we at least allowed
to put that on? He said, no. For
this period, you don't do that. Right?
That doesn't mean
that they go out of their way to
look that they're gonna wear only old clothes
and you know torn up. It doesn't mean
that they go out of the it just
means
I remember there was a woman came to
me and said, I want to attend a
wedding and her husband died maybe a month
ago. And I said, and and the wedding
and it has to be extravagant again. Just
I said no. You're in the morning period.
You shouldn't do this because you're in the
Ida period. And this is how we worship
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Someone saying why do we pray 4 raka'at
and not 3 or 5? Sometimes Allah will
will ask us to do acts of worship
and we do it because that's what it
means to be a servant of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala. So
don't add extra to this.
The only thing that the woman does,
in her mourning period,
or is required of her is that
she should stay in her house,
meaning
they they are not supposed they they are
not supposed to
stay over at night in other homes. So
they stay in their home.
There are exception to this. It may be
that there was some case that a woman
made her husband may die
while she is traveling.
That doesn't mean that she has to stay
where she's travelling. She can come back home
but then where she is she and there
are exceptions. For example, if she's elderly and
she needs to be with her children, she
moves in with children, that's fine. But generally
speaking, you stay in your home
and
you follow these rules of not overly adorning
yourself during this mourning period. This is called
the
and also the other very important thing is
men are not allowed to propose to her.
They're not allowed to approach her.
Well, the husband passed away but the the
the and so
we're not allowed to propose to a woman
whose husband divorced her.
Why?
Because
he may take her back. So right?
But this one died. So why you're not
allowed to propose? Because you have she has
she's in her eda period. It's not allowed.
And tomorrow,
inshallah, we'll talk about exceptions and and how
that works. But generally speaking, she's she can't
be out putting herself out there. For how
long? 4 months end? 10 days
So this is what it means
that once that that term is fulfilled and
there's no sin on them to express themselves
in this manner to beautify themselves of course
within the limits of the Sharia. Within the
limits of the sharia. So the so a
woman cannot overtly beautify herself when she's going
out,
and there are strict rules there. But it
means she doesn't she's not in her mourning
period anymore.
Also, there's no particular color. Like, she doesn't
have to wear black all the time. And
there's a lot of people they have these
ideas, cultural ideas that they will bring in.
That's not the case.
So I remember someone said, Sheikh, can I
can I watch TV? Sheikh, can I read
a book? Yes.
These things are fine. These things are fine.
Right? Can I smile? Some people say, 4
months 10 days you're not allowed to smile.
Right? This is there's no narration for this
whatsoever.
Of course, someone that just lost her long,
and, husband that she was with for a
long time,
don't expect them to smile, but at the
same time there's no restrictions on them. Does
that make sense?
So if we can summarize
what are the restrictions
or the requirements
of a woman who lost her husband and
became a widow.
What
2 things. 1,
she, she can she go out for shopping
and her needs?
For her need Now, this is very important.
In Islam we have three levels.
There are necessities,
there are needs, and there are luxuries.
And this is very useful to know. Right?
If we say necessity,
that means things that you need to survive,
right?
For example,
do you eat pork when it's a necessity
or when you need it?
When it's a necessity,
right? When you're starving,
right?
But,
need is different.
So they called and
then you have
So when we say a woman can leave
her home not only as a necessity but
just an So a necessity would mean that
she broke her arms and she needs to
go to the hospital if it's necessary
and the ambulance came and taken her out.
No. If she needs something from the local
supermarket, she can also what? Go. So that's
not unnecessary necessity because she could wait for
someone else to bring it to her. Right?
But the restrictions on her are not so
strict
that it's only when it's necessary.
Even if she needs to go, she can
go.
But what is restricted is when it's luxury.
Does that make sense, everyone?
Yeah?
So I'll give you a few examples and
you tell me which one it is.
Going out to
traveling
for leisure and tourism, what would you guys
consider that as? It's a luxury.
Right? Now,
going to Jummah,
is that luxury?
It's it's a one could argue it's not.
It's a need. So they're
in the morning period, which means they should
stay at home as much as they can
and should they and should they should definitely
at night go to their home. Right? But
during the day, they can go out and
and and about and sometimes they need this.
You have to remember this person that isn't
grieving, we're not going to cut them from
society. Sometimes they need to talk to people.
Right? Sometimes they need to visit friends. All
of this is fine. Right? As long as
they are coming home and it's not going
to understand that this period is different
than your normal life. So these forms, if
there's a woman out there whose life in
this 4 month 10 days doesn't change at
all. She's behaving the exact same as she
was being before.
Either
she was in morning period all the time,
which is not the case, or she doesn't
understand what this period is. Does that make
sense to everyone?
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
and Allah is well acquainted and aware of
that which you are doing. There's There's a
lot more to say about the widow. I
want to say a few things. Number
1, there is a lot a lot of
reward for taking care of the widows.
We as an ummah, the prophet
would often put the widow and the orphan
together.
And there's a lot of reward
of helping them financially, helping them with any
anything that they can because their husbands would
provide so much for them and they've passed
away. There is reward in doing this and
the prophet would spend time
and he would say and there's many ahadith
where he would say that the one who
takes care of the widow.
You all know the hadith of the one
who takes care of the orphanage like this
with the prophet There's another narration that mentions
the widow.
And then the prophet would go out of
his time to support them in their needs
and help them
because it's not easy losing your husband. And
it's also not, with a snap of finger
that they can get another husband. Sometimes it
takes time, years sometimes,
for them to be in a space where
they can actually look for someone. During this
time, they may need the support of the
community and we as a community need to
be aware of that. And there should be
services out there for the widows and that
means people that they can talk to, support
that they can receive
and,
what
among the honor of this Umma is how
we take care of those in need, orphans,
widows, poor people, all of this. And may
Allah
protect our sisters and our our brothers
and make us among those that,
when they are together they are together in
harmony and when they are separated
that they have patience,
Amin.
Fayib, so what are some of the rulings
of the akam we cover today? We cover
the akam of
how long do we
breastfeed the child for?
Ideally,
2 years. Those 2 years are lunar years
not solar years. A rule to remember is
that all of the timings you see in
the Quran,
a year, a month is usually referring to
the lunar year.
Right? That's just something to remember because
2 lunar years is a little bit less
than 2 solar years.
Can they decide to do it less? Yes,
they can as long as there's mutual consent
and
agreement.
Allah reminds us in this ayah that even
if the couple separate that they have responsibility
to each other and they shouldn't shouldn't harm
each other or use the child to harm
each other.
And we also mentioned that it is allowed
to utilize someone other than the mother to
breastfeed the child, but bear in mind the
consequences of that.
And then we mentioned the of the woman
who lost her husband
and that is 4 months 10 days. A
question that the scholars say is why 4
months 10 days? What is the wisdom behind
4 months 10 days? And there are two
answers. Some of the Dalai Lama said it's
to ensure
that she is not pregnant.
So within 4 months 10 days,
after 4 months the child is the the,
fetus is formed
and the soul is brought into it so
you can tell.
But other elements said that
that's not necessarily the case because
even
if they were not intimate,
Let's say, we did a marriage ceremony right
now
and during the marriage ceremony, the moment the
husband said, I accept and he became her
legal husband, he's he's he died.
Did they consummate the marriage?
They didn't. She still enters the mourning period
and she,
and the waiting period which is gonna be
4 months 10 days and we definitely know
that she's not pregnant,
inshallah.
And why then would we why would she
then do that? And the Ummah said, this
is litaabut.
It is a pure act of worship.
And in Islam we have 2 types of
commandments.
Commandments where we understand the wisdoms
and commandments where we don't understand the wisdoms
and that's okay. If I were to ask
you
why
do we,
why are we told to pray
4,
rakaat at duhr? Why 4? Why is duhr
4 not 5 or 3? Can anyone give
you the answer? Why that number? What makes
4 special? Can anyone answer that question? No.
We say it's a pure act of worship
and we just do it as servant of
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. We will never be
able to understand at least in this world
the wisdoms behind why is duhr 4, why
is fajr 2, why is maghrib 3, Why
do we wash these limbs for wudu? These
are called pure acts of worship, and sometimes
you understand the wisdom. Zakat.
What is the wisdom behind Zakat? To take
care of the
needy and the downtrodden
and to ensure that there's some balance within
society when it comes to wealth distribution.
So with zakat, we can understand the wisdom.
With salah, we don't understand the wisdom. Meaning
the particulars, the numbers,
and acts of worship are of those two
kinds. So a lot of the rules, for
example, now,
what is the wisdom behind
the man spending
on the woman and not vice versa because
typically it was the man that worked. We
can understand the wisdom.
But sometimes we will never
so now why 4 more than 10 days
exactly
we say this is an act of worship
and Allah knows best. Does that make does
that make sense everyone?
Adam, are you making notes?
All night I thought you were texting.
Subhanallah.
We have to keep you know sometimes, we
forget that these phones are more than just,
you know