Mustafa Abu Rayyan – 51 Tafseer Surah alBaqarah Verses 223224
AI: Summary ©
The tafsir lesson is important in understanding rules related to marriage, including rules about marriage and divorce. It emphasizes the importance of faith in marriage and accepting the fact that not all rules apply to men and women the same. The speakers stress the importance of avoiding physical intimacy during the time of the obship and avoiding small talk during the holy month. The speakers emphasize the importance of respecting the name of Allah Subhanahu wa wa Alabama and not just doing things that are considered crazy.
AI: Summary ©
We are continuing our tafsir lesson.
We are in Surat Al Baqarah
of the tafsir of Surat Al Baqarah,
IA number 223.
IA number 223.
Now
the previous lesson,
we covered
the ayats that were speaking about
the rules related to marriage,
certain rules related to marriage. And I mentioned
that from now on, many of the lessons
that we will cover
will be about rulings,
the do's and don'ts.
If you split Surat Al Baqarah into 2,
the beginning of Surat Al Baqarah, the first
is jujus and a half or or so.
It's about preparing you
to be the type of Muslim that when
you hear about the rules of Allah,
the laws of Allah, the do's and don'ts
that you are receptive.
Allah doesn't want me to do this. I
won't do this. Allah wants me to do
this. I will do this.
So this is why in the beginning of
Surat Al Baqarah we covered a lot of
stories, a lot of encouraging ayaats, a lot
of lessons,
the story of Prophet Ibrahim and how he
submitted.
Now it's all about rules and and and
how we live our lives. It also teaches
you that the book of Allah, the Quran,
and the revelation that the prophet salaw alaihi
wa sallam received in the form of the
Quran or even the sunnah,
there it's not just spirituality.
It's not just
your connection to Allah
from a tazkiyaf sense, from your heart, and
and it is also how to govern your
life. It teaches you how to live your
life. So the there are these rules,
there's
marriage law, and and, we'll we'll see
how how do you marry, who do you
marry.
Not only that,
once you are married, what are the do's
and don'ts within your marriage?
Not all marriages work out. If a marriage
doesn't work out, what do we do? How
is the divorce procedure done? All of this
will be covered in the following the following
days that we are doing the tafsir.
The last ayah that we read was the
companions
asking
about it was first Allah telling us,
about
that,
do not marry the disbelieving woman until they
become believers. I number 221.
It we learned from there that men are
not allowed to marry Muslim men are not
allowed to marry non
believing women.
You're not allowed to marry them. And there
was one exception that was made in another
Surah, and that was the exception of the
people known as the Ahlul Kitab. And the
Ahlul Kitab are the practicing
Jews and Christians.
The you are allowed to marry them but
there are certain conditions there as well. Number
1, the the the woman that you are
marrying
is a woman that is upholding her chastity,
not someone that is promiscuous.
And 2, a practicing
practicing that religion and that faith. So it
shouldn't be you know, a lot of people
will will
will will attribute themselves to a religion by
name.
Right? That wouldn't be considered someone that is
Jewish or Christian.
Now that being said, is it encouraged?
No. It is not encouraged. Who can tell
me a reason why that would not be
encouraged?
Why would it not be encouraged for you
to marry
a a a practicing Christian woman if it's
halal for you? Or a practicing
Jewish woman? Practicing Judaism of course.
Why although that is allowed if those conditions
are met, why would that still not be
encouraged? Can anyone give me a reason?
Yes, brother?
If you have a divorce, your kids may
grow up as non believers.
Or let's say you don't have a divorce.
Let's say the marriage works out.
Yes?
Confusion. So because of the aspect of confusion
that can be present, because of the aspect
of the children being confused if there's different
faiths in one household, it is not
recommended.
But can but but then it's allowed. Does
that make sense? But those conditions are must
be met.
What about for the woman? Is it allowed
for her? No, it's never allowed for her.
So a believing woman
is never allowed to marry
a a non believing man. All they are
allowed to marry is a a Muslim.
These are what we've covered, last time. So
now you know certain rules about marriage. And
if you understood the point of Surat Al
Baqarah, which is do as you are told,
submit to the laws of Allah, you'd accept
that.
Right?
Now
if someone says
that is not fair.
That is not fair. Why is it that
men get an exception and women don't get
an exception? That is not fair.
Then we
or that is not equal.
We
answer this in the following way. Number 1,
who decides
who gets what?
Who decides that?
Because
I haven't come across many men that are
saying, Sheikh, excuse me.
Allah says that a woman should get a
dowry. It's not fair.
Men need a dowry as well.
Or,
it's not fair.
Men may be drafted to war
but women are never.
Or it's not fair, the man has to
be providing for the woman, not vice versa.
You see a discrepancy
in the way people talk about it, number
1. 2,
responsibilities
are handed out by our creator.
Rights are given also by our creator.
So the man has certain responsibilities,
and he's not meant to be crying about
those responsibilities. He wants to be upholding and
fulfilling those responsibilities.
As a man, when you marry a woman
you are responsible for her, you have to
provide for her. This is your role Allah
gave you. You can't say but it's not
fair. Why is she not working? What You
can't say that.
Does that make sense?
And similarly for the sisters.
Right?
These are,
and and this this is we live under
Allah's law
and we accept
that. Sometimes
you have a responsibility and sometimes you have
a right and vice versa. And this is
coming from a place of divine
wisdom.
Divine
wisdom, Taib.
And
there are
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala treats his creation
with justice.
And he knows what's best
for them. And just like we completely understand
how unjust it would be to accept women
to go to battle.
Right? That would be unjust. Right?
No. This is why,
except recently maybe,
historically people wouldn't ask the woman and the
children would be protected, The man would be
the one that's doing the protecting. Right?
Never was there a conversation about,
wait. That's not
fair. Everyone understood their
roles and and was okay with that.
It's only recently that you have this confusion.
And this is why
when we are reading the Quran,
when we are reading the sunnah,
what you find is a
you you find justice. Not necessarily making everything
equal. Because when you make everything equal, you
can fall into injustice.
When you make everything equal, you'll you you
will you may
ask of people things that you were not
supposed to ask them.
Does that make sense?
So,
if someone has a daughter and a son
and they're putting shops they they they they're
putting, they're carrying shopping into the house.
And the father says to his daughter, Go
on inside the house. And to his son,
listen. Help me with the with this stuff.
Is that fair?
What if he says, why does she get
to go into the house and you're asking
me to carry the shopping with your dad?
Right? What do you think would be a
decent answer?
She's a girl and you're a.
Boy, you are what? Physically what?
Able and stronger. Right? And this is why,
and this but people don't even think about
it. You'll see these things and,
you see a, you you see a,
a family and they're moving houses and who's
doing the heavy lifting?
The men are. Now imagine they said, Aisha,
Fatima, come on. Get the get the fridge
out of the house and the washing machine.
No one does that because it's our We
really know something is wrong with that. Does
that make sense?
Right?
And this idea that everyone is we're not
physically equal.
Our capabilities are not the same, our emotions
are not the same, the way we think
is not the same, the way we are
is not the same. And Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala has not dealt us in the same
way.
Does that make sense?
So the question, why does a man get
to marry we say Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
in his divine wisdom has given rights and
responsibilities
and the men have been given the exception
that women have. And we can think of
many wisdoms for it. But before you start
thinking about the wisdoms, accept the fact that
not all rules will apply to men and
women the same.
Does that make sense?
So after that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talked
about the difference between the believer and the
non believer.
And that all and that
no matter we don't in Islam we don't
look at status,
no or or we look at faith.
The key determining factor
of union and marriage is faith.
That is why the faithful only marry the
faithful. Faith here, I mean deen,
being Muslim.
That's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said that,
you're not allowed to in in believing man
is not allowed to marry a non believing
woman.
And even if
and no matter what, and he gives the
exception. Similarly for women. Then after that, Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala
in ayah number 222
speaks about Mahib or Hayb. Hayb is the
menaces, the monthly cycle of the woman. Why
are we talking about the monthly cycle of
the woman all of a sudden? Because when
people are married,
and now you have a man and a
woman living in the same house. Among the
things that happen to a woman is that
she goes through a monthly cycle. And with
that comes certain rules
and certain that you must she must know
and you must know. As a husband, you
must know, and she as a wife, she
has to know. Some are limited to herself.
For example, when a woman is on her
monthly cycle,
she doesn't pray.
Right? She doesn't have to pray.
And when it's finished, she starts her prayer.
Does she need to make up those missed
prayers? No, she doesn't.
So a woman on her cycle does not
have to make up any missed prayers. She
also doesn't fast but she makes up the
fasts. She makes up the fasts. And I
encourage any sisters that are here or sisters
that are watching that if you have missed
some fasts, Ramadan is coming. Make sure that
you're making them up now. And it it
it also goes for the brothers. Let's say
you were sick or or anything or you
were traveling.
Make sure that you are, not forgetting and
you realize all of a sudden Ramadan is
next week and you have,
fasts to make up. So those are two
rules now already. She doesn't pray and she
doesn't have to make up the prayer. She
doesn't fast but she has to make up
those fast afterwards.
Also
some of the things is that they they
don't come to the masjid when they're on
in the cycle.
And,
there are other rules as, as that I
mentioned in our last lesson as well. One
rule that affects them both is you're not
allowed to have be physically intimate during this
time. You're not allowed to be physically intimate
during this time. And here you'll see a
distinction again because during the time of the
prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam, the yahood that
lived in Madinah,
they had a rule.
And their rule was when a woman is
on her cycle she is completely quarantined and
they would have nothing to do with her.
This is how they would so you're on
your cycle
and,
you're quarantined.
You they wouldn't sit with her, eat with
her, anything like this. Right? And then Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala tell teaches us, no. She's
part of the family. She cooks and she's
with you and she sits with you and
you the everything is the same as it
was before. The only thing is, other than
the rules we mentioned earlier, the other thing
is that you're not allowed to be physically
intimate. And that means also any steps before
that that can escalate to intimacy are avoided
as well.
I think the married brothers understand what I'm
talking about. So you also avoid any steps
that can lead to intimacy as well. Because
you have to safeguard yourself and safeguard her.
This So Allah says,
We mentioned We covered this ayah last week,
but I'm just doing a recap.
So they ask you concerning the Menaces.
Say,
So they ask you about relations during the
Menaces.
Men's say it's harmful
and that you should avoid relations during this
time.
Do not go near them.
Until they are purified, meaning until it ends.
Once they then take the ritual bathing and
they make theirhusl
afterwards,
then you are allowed. Indeed Allah loves those
who,
repent often and Allah loves those who purify
themselves often.
As Allah also mentioned
the mean go on to them where where
where where Allah has order has ordered you.
This also means that,
the and the following ayah that we're going
to read now is talking about the same
thing. That when you are being intimate and
when you're having relations,
then that relations
can only be done
in in in the manner by which it
leads to children.
Anything else is not allowed.
That doesn't mean that you must conceive. That's
up to Allah anyway.
But it means that you don't you this
is the only, way you
are intimate. Allah
says,
this is ayah number 223.
Your wives are a tilth for you so
go to your tilth tilth, or when or
how you will.
And this is
referencing that,
anytime
you're allowed to have relations with your spouse,
There's no set times when you're not allowed
to. There's act there actually is.
There is a time,
that you're not meant to engage
in physical relations.
Who can tell me when that time is?
Yes. Very good. When you are fasting.
But in Ramadan, even if you're not fasting,
there's a time that you shouldn't.
Sorry?
No. I mean I mean no because it
depends on before prayer.
No.
No. No. It's perfectly fine.
During Hajj, very good.
When you are in the state of Ihram.
In fact, when you are in the state
of Ihram, meaning when you
announce your intention to make Hajj and you're
in the Hajj
time,
then
being intimate can break your Hajj and that's
a there's a severe penalty for that,
when you do that. So it's very, that's
a big no no.
Doing Hajj, when you are fasting, during the
day.
In fact, can anyone tell me
if a a couple is intimate
during the fast,
what they have to do?
They have to fast 2 consecutive
months to make up for that one day.
Right? That's a serious,
penalty, isn't it? So you're not of course
you're not allowed to.
But also during the Iittikaf.
So when you commit yourself to the masjid
and you do Iittikaf you guys know what
the Iittikaf is? Then you're not allowed. This
is also a time for worship and one
of the things that you don't do is
is is be intimate. So,
your wives are are like tilth. It means
that
where crops grow.
This is an example.
So what is the thing what is what
is the crop alluding to here?
When you plant a seed and the crops
grow,
your wives,
what grows inside of them?
Children. A child. Right? This is teaching you
that
Allah is talking about intimacy and Imid references
children.
Thus, the main reason one of the main
reasons, I should say. One of the main
reasons why you have intimacy is to have
children. Right? Is to have children.
And,
it's,
not that that's the only reason. We we
are allowed.
So in Islam you are intimate for procreation
but also re creation. Both is allowed. Right?
Both is perfectly fine.
And both are considered important,
if that makes sense. Both are considered. In
fact, the some of the following ayatah we'll
cover, perhaps next week, will be,
about men swearing
their wives off, that they're not going to
have relations with them, and the implications that
has on their marriage.
So sometimes they would say, khalas, I am
done with you and they will swear that
off.
And then what does the woman do if
that happens?
And how long can that go on before
she is allowed to go to a judge
and dissolve that marriage?
Because the point of marriage is that you
find
comfort within each other, that you can have
relations, that you can be intimate with each
other. This is part of the the wisdoms
of marriage. So so
and what you will also learn in, in,
in Islam is that these rules,
they take into consideration
the person
and Islam is a practical religion. It takes
into consideration your feelings, your needs, your wants,
your desires.
And it's not something that is only dealing
with,
your,
your worship but also your day to day
life and creating rules for it. So Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says your wives are like
tilth for you, so go to your tilth
when and how you will. This teach you
something. The timing doesn't matter except for the
exceptions that we made earlier, And the how
is also
up to you. This is why the scholars
a lot of people they ask questions, Sheikh,
is this allowed? Is that allowed? What is
the ruling of this? Right?
The answer to this is very simple.
That which has been made haram,
is
a lot less than that which is halal
for you. So enjoy yourselves
and be intimate as you wish, how you
wish, but you must,
be,
your your relations must be
by way which children are born.
That's the only orifice that you can be
intimate from. Right? That doesn't mean that you
so some people immediately ask what are contraceptives
allowed.
In certain cases they are allowed. There's of
course nuances there as well.
But the Sahara for example would practice what
is known as withdrawal.
But, it all depends on the reasons and
the why,
family panic is allowed.
But any
relation that happens must happen in the normal,
normative,
healthy way by which children are born.
And 2, it cannot be during a time
where you're not allowed to, such as when
your wife is on her cycle
or in the times that we mentioned when
active worship are occurring such as Hajj. And
what was the other one?
Fasting.
So your wives are are tiltsri, meaning a
place of where the crops grow. And here
is something else.
Children are being, the the example of children
here is crops
because crops are what?
Beneficial.
Children are also beneficial
for you. Crops require that you take care
of them. You take care of your children.
You raise them as well. Right? And, of
course,
the,
it also gives you a lesson on the
wisdom behind marriage. The wisdom behind marriage
is to have children. The prophet
said in a hadith,
Marry the woman that is able to have
many children and the woman that is very
loving.
Right?
For the prophet wants as many Muslims as
possible and he will be proud of the
amount of Muslims that are there. Right? This
is why it's encouraged to have many children.
It's encouraged to have many children.
But even this right, it's encouraged to have
many children but you have give those children
their rights.
You have to give those children their rights.
So having lots of children and neglecting them
is not what Allah and his messenger want
from you. So have children.
It is sunnah.
Don't even delay having children if you don't
have to but make sure your children are
giving have have. Often we speak about the
parents' rights.
We speak about the and the parents have
great rights.
Be dutiful to your mother and father.
But as parents,
your children have rights. In fact, your unborn
child has rights over you.
How can your unborn child have rights over
you?
By choosing a good mother for him.
By choosing a good mother for him. Right?
By being a good by preparing yourself to
be the best father that you can you
can be. So almost thinking ahead is extremely
extremely important. Allah then says,
and send good deeds,
and ask Allah
to bestow you with pious offspring
for yourselves beforehand, meaning
plan ahead
for your good deeds. And among the good
deeds that you can have is children
because if you have righteous children and raise
them right, they will make dua for you.
May Allah grant us righteous offspring.
That you one day will meet Allah.
You will meet him.
SubhanAllah.
Our lives revolve around Allah so much that
even when we are discussing things as
as related to marriage and and intimacy,
Allah reminds us, fair Allah, he will be
with Allah
Meaning that no matter what aspect of your
life is being discussed, if we're discussing ayats
related to finance, or we're discussing ayats related
to
divorce, or ayats related to hajj, it doesn't
matter what you are talking about.
You will always be reminded to what?
Fair Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And and and know that you are to
meet Allah
You are to meet Allah
Each one of us will meet our creator.
And
should this be something that scares us?
Yes.
Should this also be something that puts joy
in our heart?
Also, yes.
And
when we talk about meeting Allah,
meeting the one
who created everything,
meeting the one
who chose to create you and bring you
into existence,
the one
who you've been worshiping and are worshiping, the
one who you've been seeking forgiveness from, the
one who you've been making dua to, the
one who sent prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, the one who sends down rain and
makes the crops grow, the one who provides
for us, the one who controls the universe,
the one and only Allah.
Meeting Allah
should be something that also creates
an excitement,
anticipation, and eagerness in you.
And also a sense of fear. The one
whom you sinned against.
The one who asks you to pray and
when you delayed your prayer. So you have
to have both and Look what Allah tells
us here in this ayah.
That you
will meet him.
And congratulate
the believers.
In other words,
for the believers,
meeting Allah has said something to congratulate each
other for.
Congratulations, you get to meet Allah. Congratulations, you
get to meet Allah. And then Allah says
another ayah,
Whoever hopes to meet Allah.
So
the believers, they should have a sense of
wanting to meet Allah. The prophet used to
say,
The Allah said the prophet said in a
hadith about Allah.
Whoever
loves to meet Allah.
Allah loves to meet him.
So when we speak about our creator,
it should have a sense of love and
awe,
as well as a sense of fear.
And those two things are the wings
that balance the believer.
Fear
and hope.
So in this ayah, what did we learn?
We learned that Allah when he was describing
intimacy
and
and the issue between a man
and his woman or his spouse,
that Allah gave the example
of planting a seed and a crop growing
tilth.
Why?
Because among the benefits
of being intimate
is
a child
growing in, in the womb of your spouse.
And that that's one of the aims of
marriage. It also teaches us that's the only
way we should be intimate, and any other
ways of intimacy
that they are not allowed. And the only
the the the the two things that are
prohibited
as it relates to physical relations,
is physical relations that is not happening
in the reproductive organ,
and a physical relationship that is happening
in the reproductive organ, but during the time
of the monthly cycle. Those 2 are what?
Are not allowed. Is that clear?
Then Allah teaches us that outside of that,
the when and the how
is allowed. That Allah teaches
us that we should fear Allah no matter
what and have taqwa and that we will
meet him and then Allah congratulates
who?
Would Allah congratulate as it relates to the
meeting of Allah? The mumineen, the believers.
Then following I Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala enters
into a
the Ayasthar speaking about a different hukumar, a
different ruling. And this is to do with
what is known as Al Yamin.
What does al yamin mean?
Who could tell me?
To to the right. Very good. The right.
But yamin also means
swearing an oath. And it's called
and
the plural of that is and also under
this here
The word means your oaths.
Why would the right hand and the oath
oscillation? The Arabs, when they were swearing an
oath to each other, they would put their
hand right hands into each other. That's the
relationship.
So
there are certain rules as it relates to
swearing by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And there's
an interesting incident that happened between 2 companions
that teaches you the mindset of the Muslim
as it relates to swearing. And with with
swearing, I don't mean insulting. I mean when
you're swearing an oath. When you're saying for
example, I swear by Allah. Or you say,
wallahi.
This.
The 2 Sahabas, they
one Sahabi loaned another money.
I believe it was Uthman ibn Affan, this
great companion, the son-in-law of the prophet, and
Sadib Bibi Waqas. And the up this was
a one of the tenants of promised paradise.
So,
then he borrowed him money. So was borrowed
money.
Afar borrowed him sad money, and it was,
and then when he was meant to pay
it back, when he was meant to pay
it back, they disagreed on the amount.
Sa'ad said it was 4,000,
but Sa'ad said, I'm sure I gave you
7,000.
It's quite a big difference, isn't
it? Ajib.
And and is this interesting? Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala says in this surah, when he talks
about the rulings related to debt,
no, no. That to not debt to loaning,
that it should be written.
Allah mentions the factubuhu, write it. When you
borrow money from each other,
put it in writing.
Why the sunnah is to put it in
writing? Why is that? If you put it
in writing, this will this disagreement will happen.
It will not happen. What's the relationship between
this and Swergan oath?
They couldn't agree. 4000,
7000. They went to us. And then Sa'ad
said,
if Uthman swears by Allah it was 7,000,
I'll pay him the 7,000.
And look at the reply of Earthman
He said,
do you think I'm going to swear by
Allah over money?
You think I'm going to swear by Allah
over what?
Over money. In other words, Allah's name is
greater than for me to swear over something
as meaningless
as money.
If if you if if that's what it
comes comes to, I'm happy with
the with the 4,000.
I'm happy with the with the 4,000.
What is the moral
of this?
That
swearing by Allah's name should be something that
shouldn't be done too often.
And shouldn't be done something that
for small things.
I came on time. No, you didn't come
on time. No, no, why it like something
trivial as this. We need to start respecting
the name of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Right?
And that,
the that's one point. So respect
the name of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and do not just use it here willy
nilly whenever.
And remember that statement of Uthman ibn Affan
where he
says, I am am I it was 7,000.
Right? That's not that's not small amount of
money. But he still refused
to to make that oath because he saw
Allah's name as a creator
than something that you invoke in this kind
of scenario.
The other thing about
swearing an oath is that don't be into
the habit of doing it often.
Allah, Allah subhanahu wa'ala usually when he's describing
the hypocrites,
the Buna Fakine, Allah mentions a lot that
they used to swear. Right? A lot.
Always they are the ones that are do
saying making these oaths. So it's not something
that,
a the the believer is known for.
Also,
that if you're going to do it, that
you uphold it and you do not lie.
There's it's a grave, grave sin to use
Allah's name and then lie.
And also,
that you
when you make an oath, that you keep
to it. That you what? That you keep
to it. And if you don't, there's a
penalty.
There's a penalty. And we'll cover those in
the following ayats. And also that there are
certain types of oath that you're not held
to. Such as the ones that are they
became almost part of language.
Right?
So when you're when you say
but
you don't mean
to to swear an oath, It just became
part of the the language of what you
say
or
or,
especially no. Say You know people say this
to each other. And they don't really mean
this. They don't you know this is gonna
happen. Say
This kind of
kalam
is not,
the unintentional
oath because we will cover in next week
where Allah says
Allah does not hold you accountable for your
unintentional oaths.
Right? Your unintentional
oaths.
And,
there is,
there's a lot of
as relates to this, which we will cover
next week. So next week inshaAllah ta'ala we'll
cover the ayats related to the swearing of
oaths and then what will happen is
the aham related to physical intimacy that we
spoke spoken about earlier and the ihkam related
to swearing by Allah which we're speaking about
next week will be combined in the ayah
when someone swears by Allah to not have
physical relations.
And you see also the structure of the
Quran. Right? SubhanAllah. That there is a structure
to even the way you're learning these rulings.
1st, who you're allowed to marry and who
you're not allowed to marry. Afterwards, when you
are married, the do's and don'ts. After that,
in more detail, the rights that you have
over each other and the how and the
when as it relates to intimacy.
After that, Allah tells you, okay, Allah, we're
about to be told about certain men, and
when they do something called
when they do something called ila which is
to have an oath not to have relations.
That what are the ramifications of that. But
before that learn some rulings as it relates
to oath generally.
It gives you the like I said to
you, a lot of our lessons will be
fiqh related. I'll conclude here not to take
too long for you guys.