S03E04 – Giving Yourself Permission to Pursue Your Purpose

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Muslim Life Hackers

Channel: Muslim Life Hackers

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Episode Notes

Today we speak to sister Nadia Yunus. She is a spiritual, creative and personal peak performance coach. In this episode, we talk about our finding our unique purposes in our lives, giving ourselves permission to embrace it and how to tackle all the obstacles that come in pursuit of it.

Episode Transcript

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You're listening to the Muslim life, podcast.

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Assalamu Aleikum, I'm a from Earth and welcome to season three of Muslim life hackers podcast. For Muslim life hackers podcast brings together individuals from all walks of life to give their insights on an area to help you live better, achieve more and succeed in this life and the next. If you're new to the show, make sure to check out our episode archives over at Muslim life hackers.com, where you'll find all the episodes from season one and season two. Now let's get started.

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Today we'll be speaking to sister Nadia Eunice. She's a spiritual, creative and personal peak performance Coach. In this episode, we talk about finding our unique purposes in our lives, giving ourselves permission to embrace it, and how to tackle all the obstacles that come in pursuit of it. So enjoy this episode with Nadia

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Assalamualaikum Nadia, welcome to the Muslim life hackers show. Thanks for joining us today.

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Thank you for inviting me and having me on yourself. So to start off, can you please give us an introduction about yourself in a few sentence? Okay, so I'm Nadia from the UK. I'm a spiritual, creative and personal peak performance mental coach, and I help my clients make instant and positive mindset transformation changes. So they can make positive changes, changes in all areas of their life, live upon the dean, and he shall prepare for our best out here inshallah. Oh, that's awesome. So you do work around, pretty much this is a personal development and self growth. And so beforehand, when we were discussing what topic to focus on for the interview, one was put forward

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called permission to purpose, which I found very interesting. And something I'm sure our audience would benefit from. So can you explain to us what it's all about? Okay, so I'm permission to purpose. And Firstly, about purpose. For us Muslims. From my perspective, we've got two purposes, there's an ultimate purpose. And there's our unique purpose. So if it's okay, I can just explain a little bit about that, and the purpose, the mission, but Yeah, go ahead. Okay. So our ultimate purpose is to worship Allah, Allah Allah. And as he said, in an interview, that I did not create, managing except to worship me. So that is our ultimate purpose. And then comes everything else,

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which is like, the marries the family, the procreating, the eating, studying, etc. And, most of times,

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us as humans, we do get stuck in this part. And we don't completely understand it.

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We do come across it, but we don't fully understand it. Hence, why we do have challenges. And the thing about me is, I don't really say issues or problems, I say challenges, just because it gives like a positive twist to it, that there is a solution. I always say challenges.

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So that's our ultimate purpose, which is to this last one fella, and then is our unique purpose, and from my perspective, how I described it, or define it or teach it, that each of us has a unique purpose, and a role that allows volatilize given us that we need to fulfill on this earth, and it's aligned to our ultimate purpose. So now this unique purpose really can be anything for any of us.

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Whether that's being a lawyer, Doctor, presenter, coach, and

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a mother, any role that you take, what it is aligned with that ultimate purpose. Yeah. So that's, those are our practices. And where we get stuck normally is that and you're, you're a key in personal development, and person, so you would know where they talk about values and beliefs. So if our actions are not aligned to our values and beliefs, there's going to be turmoil from the inside, inner and outer. So it's a bit like that. So you probably see how many people you can read about and say that we were doing a certain job in the corporate world. And then, you know, we weren't fulfilled when, you know, they were making like six figure income, for instance. And then, you know,

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they found the calling. So for me, that's our unique purpose. Eventually, we get to that, and it's aligned to our ultimate purpose. She's resting the law. So what happened is that we start off on the good intention path. And many of us know our ultimate purpose, and we're working on it. Many of us are trying to find that unique purpose and many of us are living you will find it. And then is a permission part. So you think, at times, because we're always going to be grabbing, we're always going to be learning, we're always going to be growing, and we're always going to be peeling a layer from ourselves and learning more about ourselves. So it's like peeling an onion. Yeah. And it's more

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layers that we reveal. It's always like that you probably get to a point where you think you know what I figured it out. I know it. Life's perfect. No, but their life motto is gonna give us another test. And then we have to go back to peel that onion again to peel that layer and that layer again. So we may be on the path to finding a unique purpose or practicing

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You got there. And then comes the permission part, because we get stuck to the like, the grain, okay, where, you know, there's always habits. It's like as a business owner entrepreneur on that path, but then I get stuck. And you've probably heard it as limiting belief. Yeah. So like, we're on that path, we're trying to achieve it, nothing stops us. Maybe it's fear, fear of success or failure.

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We've got ourselves looking for something, we worked hard to get that booking without the speech, or an interview, for instance, and then we fall ill, that's happened in my case.

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But it's a fear. So and what's really underlining is, we're not giving ourselves permission. So although we've probably now found a unique purpose, yeah, and aligning it to our ultimate purpose original, like the last one.

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But we get stuck in the limiting belief, we don't give ourselves permission. Because all these things start popping up in our head, such as, who am I to do this?

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If I do this, I'm gonna fail. I don't know how to do this, somebody else out there is already a celebrity, getting all the lights to gain all the attention, and who's gonna listen to me? So then we back up again, and the steps that we've already taken to get towards our living our purpose, we stopped because we don't give ourselves permission. So I hope that kind of made sense. That was explained. Yeah. Yeah. Make sense? So pretty much, you were saying that there is the ultimate purpose, and then there's a unique purpose. And then what happens? Like what this topic is about, which means permission to purpose is that once we find that unique purpose, we don't give ourselves

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permission to pursue it pretty much. Because we sometimes we actually don't know. Yeah, you know, whenever you've had the limiting belief, and I obviously had it as well. And as I said, we're always going to, we're always going to be peeling that layer of ourselves to learn more about more of ourselves. So when that happens, it's that permission part, because now we're not giving ourselves permission. I mean, who says that we have to seek permission from an external source? Yeah, yeah, to go ahead and do that. So that's one of the parts. And if I just mentioned in, in a workshop that I did, and this probably illustrates it even further, in a workshop that I did, called Life

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management. And in that, one of the sisters, actually, it's like, an example right in front of me that happened was, she was caught up in the life that she was living, as many women do. And then they forget who they are themselves. So obviously, we've got to go back to start to now finding themselves for instance. And so one of the exercises I gave her was like, you know, faces, look in the mirror, look into your eyes, and give yourself permission, say I am beautiful. I can, you know, just just by one step, not even doing the whole, you know, self work to the end level. But at least taking that first step, as Paula, she could even take that first step. She was like, I can't, I

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can't look in the mirror and say that to myself, because she had been told so many negative negative things from her spouse for all these years, it had become so ingrained in the subconscious. That is what she believed. Yeah, and now even taking the first step towards the positive, which she wants to. And that's one of the extreme emphasis for clients that we can say, and but it was such a challenge for her to even take that step to just you were looking at even actually looking eye to eye to herself. So if that kind of illustrates further, like, she couldn't give herself permission to do that. You're looking at your own isolate anyone else's. Paula. So would you say that this

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happens? Because of just like, the things that they heard growing up? Or, like, why why do people find that hard to give themselves permission? And as this is just done yet, it does happen? It does all start from childhood. Yeah, we all need to.

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If all parents are listening, then please listen up on this part. Research has shown and proven that the first seven years, and even in Islamic principles, if you look at it, you know, household law says households to the first seven years, how we supposed to be towards our children. And the next seven years sex next seven years and don't the western research has shown that the first seven years is when things are ingrained in us. So that's when we start imitating our adults. So whatever the adult is going through, and in fact, I was actually talking to my mom about this, about research, showing how it all kind of starts in the womb. So however, the mother is like, if you're happy if

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you're stressed, if you're thinking certain things, that energy goes because everything is energy and that energy goes to the child.

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Exactly a

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child is already born with his sickly because it's picked up on the mother's energy. That's crazy.

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It's part

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I mean, if you see how some babies are born, for instance, and my sister in law is actually, from what we're going to use a lot of examples from

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pretty close, as my sister in law was saying that somebody whose baby was born, that exact example she gave, because the mother had so many challenges, etc, when the baby was born, but the baby was like really angry, not a happy baby. And you would assume that if a baby, obviously, they cry, and they just want to sleep, and you know, that's about it, but you don't see a baby really irritated. Yeah, unless it's, you know, real medical condition. But this baby just was not a happy baby. So the energy faster gets picked up from the room. And another example my mom gave was about how she watched something along these types of channels, where the baby was able to recite certain verses

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when he was starting to grow up, but it was already memorized, because the mother was reciting them, memorizing them while she was pregnant with the baby. So start from there. And then the first seven years, we pick up on things. So you and I probably not even remember half the things that happened, we were three years old, because I really can't.

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But they're picked up from there. And because we're like a sponge, and we pick up everything, and it gets stored in our subconscious. And so that's why things happened the way they happen now. And we can't really point the finger at it. Yeah, especially the deeper stuff when you get deeper into it. And when you get into the personal development side, you know, as you know, yourself, you're always gonna be peeling those layers, and there's more deep work to do. So this is why when you yourself, probably feel this, or your clients will listen to your coach. It's because it's also so ingrained the subconscious from that tiny age that obviously you can't remember. So that's when he actually

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does first stop. And then it continues in the sense that we'll wait for instance, if we're at school, we were really kind of aware of anyway, by that age, and we're learning and stuff. So we are, and obviously now we're living in a fast internet, and age anyway. So everything is so instant, and fast. Kids are picking up more things than they did back when we were growing up. Me really,

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you know, the pick up more stuff now. And the more aware, and the more, there's more intelligence in them in knowing things, that innocence is not quite there that we kind of had. So just start from there. And then it kind of dawned on me, because we all know, we've all been through high school. And we all had issues. Yes.

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So and yeah, it kind of starts from there. 28. So, okay. I mean, the thing is, now that we're all grown up, and we can't really go back to the past, right, so what can What Can someone do if they find themselves in a situation that they're having troubles giving themselves permission? I mean, I know, you mentioned the one about how you told your clients about, yeah, yes, facing themselves,

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like a client if your client comes to you. And if a client is like that, for instance, you know, that a lot of work to do. And you really have to take baby steps with them.

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And if you're willing to, as one of my coaches, if you're willing to be, you have to be willing to stand in the fire at that point with them, and let the physical fire of course, but you need to fire with them, and be present for them. So you got to get out of your own head at that point, because you're not doing the day, as I said, we're still gonna have challenges, we're human beings, we're going to have our challenges. So we've got to be, you know, gas, our own head at that point, and be there for them. And really start from scratch as that client. And that's one of the extreme cases, of course, there's many people out there, you know, they would be going through this. And generally,

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you start off by

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reading books. It starts with awareness. So if somebody's listening to this right now, and stopped and thought, you know, what, let me just reflect on my life awareness. Okay. You know, so, okay, so this has happened, because this did, they just opened up the awareness stage open up, which means they're willing to create those positive changes for themselves are willing to actually go to places that they weren't willing to before, like none of us were because it closed off from it. So awareness is the first step. So I think most people listening to this will start grasping that now, because we've talked about it. And then the next step is really do grab yourself a genuine pen. I

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mean, if you can grow, if you can get coated, fine. But I know many people are not able to or not ready for that stage yet. So at least start writing down things. So I know that people who listen to your podcast that definitely goes to want to make positive changes in all areas of their life. So I know that they have never gotten a journal and start writing. So do you start writing some of the life challenges that you have had

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some of the recurring challenges, and then really, you know, give yourself permission so you know, a lot more dollars with you. And if you're listening to this, this clearly means that you need to work on yourself as we all do, and he's willing to help you because Allah said, you know, he's not going to change a conditioner for people until they don't change it for

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salted Del Sol. So this is your last one with Elizabeth, you have thought about calling him start writing that down all the things that'd be reoccurring, what's the recurring when you think it's happened?

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Because there will be a pattern with something, some things, you know, you have to go deeper with a coach some things, you'll be able to see the pattern. And then maybe if you made it in like a two column kind of on your journal, and on the other side, who do you want to be really, who are you really from this is going to obviously take you deeper because you know, you probably got to go back into the person that you want to work. But you've through life, you've kind of gotten ahead for him. And then write down who you want to be or what you want your life to be. So the number of these exercises between you, between you and Allah tala does nobody else unless you want to take on a

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coach who can help people. This is between you and a lot, and you've got the full permission, he's created you he's giving you the permission to be awesome. He really is. So it's time to work on yourself. And this is how you can do it. This is the start, these are the first steps in doing that and initiative, inshallah, in overwhelm you, you're not really saying to the people. So awareness has already started for all of us now by listening to this podcast this episode, and then start writing that down in general. And then you know, the things that have been happening with the camera, and then what you do want to achieve in your life? What were your dreams and hopes and

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wishes? Where are you right now? Or where do you want to be? Yeah, and you might kind of get emotional for you. Do grab yourself water, because this is your releasing energy. And if there is tears, if you often untied and have tears, it's called emotional release, because I'm also an energy practitioner, and it is an emotional release is a good thing to watch out for water. So I hope that kind of helps. Yeah, yeah. So, so pretty much the steps, you can say, part of getting permission to allow yourself to do what you want to do kind of thing it's being aware of it, because this one is like, this is like the easiest steps that you can do. So, you know, take at least one easy step at

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least. And even if that means you've just listened to this episode, and you've got the awareness, I guarantee inshallah Allah, that's something else somewhere is going to pop up for you. If you really take a step back. So

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that means something opened up for you. And if you don't do the next exercise immediately, I guarantee they inshallah Allah, Allah is going to send another kind of find your way that will help for your next step.

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And, and when when we're actually taking this step. Say, when we're sitting down and writing in the journal, ask yourself, asking ourselves this question. It's not going to be a pleasant experience, right? Like, it's going to get us out of our comfort zone. Yes, it's definitely gonna get out, get us out of our comfort zone. I call it comfort zone comfort.

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And trust me, I'm one of those people who really loves to play my PJs. And I'll say, my comfort, I totally get out of it. And it is not nice. And I know you've probably heard this aura game. If I can do it, so can you There is no other way to explain it. Because I've also been there. And I know you've possibly been there too. Yeah, you just have to take that one step and always take, it's always about one step and a baby step. So I don't want you to take a major leap. That's what I mean, even if it's just awareness opened up for you today, something else in a week or two time will come up, if you're ready to do the work. And if you're ready to start making positive changes, so that

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one step is necessary and to get out there because for most people, the awareness might be the first step out of the comfort zone. And that's enough for now. Yeah, true. Because

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we're all at different stages in life. So this awareness may be just the first step out of your comfort zone, which is enough for now. inshallah, inshallah. So I just want to shift gears a bit and ask about environments and you see how we can work on ourselves and sit down and do these exercises, but then how can how can we keep being true to ourselves and be like, kids, you need this, especially if, say, we have certain obstacles, like, our environment around us isn't encouraging positive behavior, like, especially if say, say even close family or something, and they're being negative? And kind of, you can say, like, re reinforcing all those negative issues that we're trying

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to get over. So what can be done in that situation?

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And, you know, about five years ago, our three executives

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and animals really close and have an intimate family close. Because I'm the youngest of four I like to tell the sisters and, and all married and all I've got like 14 or

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so since childhood, I've been really close with my parents and my family. So I spent a lot of time with them. And they you know, to see me grow through my studies and why I want to achieve what I want to do.

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It wasn't until about five years ago that it really hit me

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that unfortunately, even though I'm really close to one of my family members, and they're just really negative in every single thing. Yeah. And even today is exactly the same. Yeah. And I realized you could actually run through a bit of an illness at that point. And 100 Billahi min, he cured me and healed me completely. But he was enough like for a slap across the face to wake me up, basically, and enough for me to get up and start living on my purpose living on my true purpose. But he was also at that time that I realized, you know, the stories that I've been feeding my subconscious feeding myself by being with the family member, and then actually my stories at all.

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Yeah, it's not even why I'm saving my reality. And I just stopped living, because I believe in these stories. And that was powerful.

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especially powerful realization that even right now I'm thinking, wow, you know, if it was enough for me to say, Oh, my God, and I did a survey for my tribe, for my clients, and for those on my list and asking them, how I can help them further, what are the some of the challenges and they said the same thing? And the thing is, it's not easy. I'm going to say that soldier is not going to be easy. But what I decided at that point was, you know what, I'm going to stop going around too much. Yeah, because they also bit in their life, which is good. I'm just going to have to, and what I mean, busy, I don't mean, like busy energy, just doing nothing. But this is my chance now to start making

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those positive changes for myself. And I'm going to stop spending that much time there. Because I thought, what are the story going around and around and it was the same story. And we haven't gotten any rain in the whole decade. We're just been going round in the same stories. If you follow me here.

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You know, we don't need any, we just still stuck in a rut. And it wasn't even my story. Yeah, because I wanted it to so much. And it's like, okay, family members, you believe what you believe. It's your beliefs and your story from your childhood life, shaping who you are, it's not even my childhood that I come from. Yeah. And it's not even what I wanted to. So at that point, I decided, I want to step away. And that's when I said, Who am I? What path did I start on? And what is it, I need to get back on there. And that was enough for me to start working on myself again, because I've been, like, personal development junkie for 21 years

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of development. But you see, every point, there's something new to learn, just for me was an awakening. For me, it really wasn't awakening, I literally woke up at that point. So I'm going to say to you that it's not going to be easy for anybody, because a lot of

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it really does. And as I said, in my survey, somebody said the exact same thing, like how do we stop spending so much time with them? It's your life, at the end of the day, they're not holding you by, you know, by force. I know, there's people who are actually going through certain things, but if you're somebody listening to this, and you're not going through that, and and if people are going through that, then there's also help available, and inshallah, you know, we pray that Allah guides you towards that help. If you are somebody listening to this, you have choice, exercise that choice, because they are living their life. So that's what was happening to me. Because even after we've had

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these conversations and stuff, and I'm coming home negative and depressed, getting on with your life,

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and I'm still stuck. So you have a choice. make the choice right now to say, you know what, I'm going to find out who I am. What's my life being up until now. And again, it's gonna, there's gonna be tears, it's gonna be upsetting. But you can't move forward without healing these parts. And it's okay. Know that it's okay to cry about it, know that it's okay to realize, and know, you have not wasted your life. Because you have let things up until now, whatever age you're at whatever stage you're at in life, I know that you have learned things, because every stage versus learning, for me my 20s this was not for me, like the deeper, deeper, deeper self work. I mean, 10 years ago, I

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wouldn't even be talking about these things. Yeah, you know, I'd be more like why these things are happening, I'll still be reading these articles and still be the wisest thing happened. Because I was still stuck in that way. So you have to be brave enough to say, you know what, it's my life. And I am going to make something of it. And this is something else I always tell my clients and in my live workshops is, you're going to be standing in front of a lot more with a lot alone at the end of the day, on the last day on the Day of Judgment. Nobody's going to be standing with us, not even our beloved ones who give this to us, for instance. What are we going to say to them as well as Allah

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because he's going to be asking us you can take you can ask us how we lived our life. What did we do with it? So if right now you're feeling I can't get away from the sea, because in my family, which I did exactly the same thing. Remind yourself that on the day of digital, you're going to be standing alone. That should be much,

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you know, to say, okay, right. I got it. Anyway.

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listen to the podcast episode again,

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you really get it. But if what I'm saying so far is hasn't shaken you up, then this year, we're going to be standing in front of a lot alone to answer for our actions for our life. And for what we did with our life, the time we spent the health, and did we do the work that we're supposed to be, you know, when you pull off the way we're supposed to. So put that forefront, if you do that, that will help you jolt you out of that trance like I was in, and then you're like, you know what, now I need to get back on it, I need to find myself again. And you know what we all have to do, we will have to. So this is probably right for you right now, this is how you like to do that for yourself.

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And then you do start cursing. And don't even do it like this. But you know, take a major step in you just never see them again.

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Because you don't stop yourself too much for them to but you know, a little step by time. And you know, even if you're somebody who's not studying right now, not doing some work, but then say, you know, I'm looking for a job, for instance, I'm looking for work, I'm looking to do these things. So you're not really lying, but you're just telling them that you're doing something and you are trying to look for that and you're doing that we are so excited to be present development stuff sites, look for a job of getting more involved in your work or something so that you are spending less and less there. Because the less day you spend there, inshallah, you'll have that energy and time start

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working on yourself. And it was I think, Jim Rohn, who said it wasn't personal development gurus from his time, he said that we are the sum of like, the five people

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around. So now is the time to start. And you know what, even if you say, I don't have those awesome five people, I was exactly the same. That's the honest truth. Most of my mentors have originally started off as those exact same, you know, gurus from online, the Jim Rohn, the Bob Proctor, the Tony Robbins, I've never met any of them. Yeah, you know, I just read this stuff on it. So that was enough for me at that time. And inshallah, again, as we've been talking, it's like that one step, take that one step. So that's how to do it. Don't do it in all of a sudden to walk away from the family. And, but slowly, slowly, it's also because we're not busy doing what we're supposed to be

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doing. So we have got that time there. So get back into yourself, get back into your own life and do it slowly, slowly. And inshallah and then what will happen is that what you will be able to help them as well, once you help yourself. Sometimes it won't change, but we can't change anybody else's behavior. But at least it's enough for you because you need to create that for your own self for your thoughts for your mind. Otherwise, you will get stuck in an office can divorce a family? Yeah.

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Suddenly, we have another exchange.

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Basically, we can't get rid of a lot for delegated. I think as it says, you know, sometimes our family is a blessing would have written up. And it is what it is. Yeah.

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You can take that step inshallah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's all I have, you know how you were talking about the stories that we tell ourselves the other day, I was actually thinking about it. I have had this conversation with a friend and I was telling him, the older we get, the better our stories get.

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They just get so much better and so much believable.

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So yeah, so these are like the, everything starts with about one step. I certainly started the baby step. You know, just yesterday. Witness Yeah, it isn't difficult. But I know that you're listening to this soul, or you're listening to listen to this. I know they can do it. Because they listen to you. Listen, to listen to the show. So I know they can do it. Yeah. So you know, earlier, you you actually mentioned that this whole, like permission, giving yourself permission is something that's common amongst women, right? What is that?

00:28:55--> 00:28:57

Right. Take a deep breath.

00:28:59--> 00:29:00

Don't upset anybody on this.

00:29:02--> 00:29:04

And Firstly,

00:29:06--> 00:29:37

it is a deep thing, I think that we need to talk about because I've done it in my life workshops. And it's really touching many people don't realize that maybe we can arrange something like to talk about it, or be so awesome. And I think it's mostly a genetic makeup, develop all of those created, which is fine, because you've created men and women differently for specific reasons. And for specific roles to play as well. Which is fine. Yeah. And then obviously, we have to, as I said in Coronavirus, creative communities haven't been so we've got to live in communities, we've got a

00:29:38--> 00:29:59

thriving community. That's how humans evolved. So it's an evolution thing as well, how our societies and how we've evolved and in and from the Asian subcontinent, I think you are as well. So for us, for instance, I can just refer to that because I do know it happens in all communities. But just speaking from the Asian subcontinent kind of perspective, and it's the role

00:30:00--> 00:30:23

Start men have to play in the family, and what the women's role was getting to a certain age. Normally, it was a very young age and getting married and having babies and looking after her family and her children. And in that process, that the cycles been repeating itself for a very long time. Now, I'm not saying this is like a negative cycle in all senses, because obviously, my mother's been through this, I wouldn't be here otherwise.

00:30:25--> 00:30:49

She's been through it. Everybody's gone through it, many people still go through it. But those values and beliefs, and that thinking has stayed on for a very long time from generations. And generations onwards. So when we were born, I don't know how it happened for you. But when I was younger, even though you like to study this, come on, we had Bollywood there, we all knew we were going to grow up and get married. Yes.

00:30:50--> 00:30:57

It was that romantic thing that you had in your head, that your mind deciding, because that's the way we were brought up. Yeah, of course, you go to school, of course, you study

00:30:58--> 00:31:05

and be happy, happy married girl. So we plan all this are very young age. And when we look at it, I know you're gonna laugh at you, when you

00:31:07--> 00:31:44

look back at it, we really laugh at it. This is how we were brought up. Yeah. And because we've all seen the older sisters or cousins, or getting married, we just knew that eventually that's going to happen. And so we all engrained ourselves from that young age. And then we get into that role of a wife and a mother. And we really do forget ourselves because we give ourselves completely. Now that doesn't mean that you don't be definitely have any children. But again, it goes back to on the dead digital, we're gonna be standing alone. So because we will ingrained like this, we will both apply this. We just throw us off completely in that I forget who we are. Yeah. So that's really one of the

00:31:44--> 00:32:21

things happens when we lose the permission for ourselves. We don't have to give up with permission, give ourselves permission, because we forgot who we are. So why am I doing these live workshops? I mean, I have ladies who have been married for five years to a decade and have a couple of kids. And the kids are now growing up to have a clue who they are normal. Yeah. And then they're gonna say it again. I, you know, I had this hobby I wanted to do, but they spent all that time and energy in their husband and the children that have completely forgotten and you have to live for yourself to without compromising or without neglect, because someone getting neglected, neglected, for sure. And

00:32:21--> 00:32:58

it's yourself. Yeah. And if it's not your health, and I know many sisters go out to the gym now to go for the walks and stuff. It is not the house or the eating correctly, it's definitely in the head is definitely mindset. Like all over I can't because I've got to form a family or not because of go for my children. But you have to be yourself like even probably buying something for themselves. Something that's true, something as small as a handbag or pair of shoes, for instance. A good example. Yeah, see, so many people do Oh, no, I've got a yes. And then that got come to the knees like what's that go to that? You know, you have to also lift this up who said they can't and this is

00:32:58--> 00:33:38

what happens when the ladies hit the late 30s or 40s on especially if they've been married young. And they go through this. So I think it's been happening for a very long time and generations of somebody has to break the cycle. And it's not about them, you know, breaking the norms completely or going against the families. Extremely, none of that stuff is just about balance. Because the last one, like I said, there's 1000 grinders in that he loves moderation in everything. So don't throw yourself completely to your marriage and your in laws that you forget your own parents who said that, for instance, or forgive yourself completely to them and their needs, and then you forget who

00:33:38--> 00:34:11

you are, and neglect your needs, because it will come back around and will bite you hard. And that's what's been happening to women. And, and I think it's because of that kind of the roles that we go play and what we're supposed to do. men go through this as well. So when you really get into this men, God is wrong. We know that men and women are different. And we deal with our emotions differently, for instance, yeah. So they will be dealing with it differently. And they'd have an again, think about it. What what's one of the things that men have been told generations on? So you got to be the breadwinner, you've got to look after your family? And what if they don't have the

00:34:11--> 00:34:26

job, which is really sufficient enough in from their perspective, and why they can't meet the needs of the wife, the children in laws, etc, etc. And they're feeling that they gave them not played the role that disposed of properly. And they feel the guilt. Yeah, they don't want the brothers Listen to this.

00:34:28--> 00:34:59

So it is it is that way we look at the broader perspective as well, for sure. From the men's perspective. And looking at the women's perspective, it is how it's been going on for generations and you know, you probably find it if you go to a family wedding or a friend's wedding. It's the same you know, you sit with the aunties and everything. The same conversation never changes. Yeah, kind of thing. So this is very ingrained and no is passed on to us and we're like, Okay, so this is how it's meant to be. So we take that on and then that's how we live it and then that's where the elements come from. That's where a lot of challenges, mindset challenges

00:35:00--> 00:35:00

Everyone.

00:35:01--> 00:35:40

I hope that kind of explained it. Yeah. So, so pretty much before any of our roles in our life, we we are like, regardless of whether your sister or brother, we are, first of all, a slave of Allah subhanaw taala. Then after that we are a wife or husband, and then you know from there, yeah, yeah. So we've got to remind ourselves again. So if I if if reminding yourself that you're going to be standing alone in front of a lot more data, and the judgment is enough for you, then I hope that is enough for all of us. Because that that is what's going to happen. And then what we're going to say so isn't it better that we start working on ourselves? No, because we will be asked Do we pray? And

00:35:40--> 00:36:16

how do we spend our time? What did you do with our free time? What what our health? How did we use it? These are going to be real questions. So that should be enough for us to realize, you know, what, not I need to start taking care of myself. I need to start giving myself permission. And as I said, For some it's not unfortunately, it's so difficult, such a challenge because they've been told so many things, or because a spouse might be telling them some things and they're ended up leaving it. It's a psychology. It's like an example if you give like a model, for instance, probably really beautiful realism. But we should look in the mirror a mirror, he or she sees ugliness of a republic.

00:36:16--> 00:36:38

There's nothing wrong with that at all. It's what she's been feeding us what is what we tell ourselves, we literally are, what we believe we are. So we tell ourselves certain things. When we're gonna, we're gonna create that for ourselves. We're gonna create that life for ourselves. We really will. And like I say, we will really prophesize it, it will really come through. struck me. Yeah. Not to scare anybody on

00:36:40--> 00:36:50

this raising awareness is a lot. Yeah. I'm gonna say this. There's a lot of thought that yeah, that like a lot of so. Chevy was losing my words.

00:36:53--> 00:37:15

Just like silence outside, we'll just like pickiness like yeah, Yes, true. Okay, so you know what, we're actually getting close to the end of the episode. So I'll have to wrap up and ask you the questions that we asked all I guess. So first of all, what are your top three book recommendations? Okay, this year, I set myself a Goodreads challenge to read 150 books.

00:37:18--> 00:37:21

Under 50 books, I made it to like 20 something

00:37:22--> 00:38:01

since January, and I'm going to give you three books, which you've probably not heard of at all, because what I did was I went to the library. And if you take out 10 books, and I sat in the psychology professor development section, I sat there and I pulled out all these books that I'd never had the title of, I'd never read online or anything, I thought, Okay, why not? Because you know, sometimes we just really go for the bestsellers, or the news that we've heard over and over. So the first one is called, live a life of no regrets by Suzy Heyman. And she is actually an admin, who worked for one of the magazines, the teen magazine for years. And the thing about this book is,

00:38:01--> 00:38:41

it's really in depth. And I recommend everyone to get it from the, from the male to the female, because it touches on almost all aspects of our lives. And we will actually go deeper to what we've been talking about. And it will really help you with exercises and case studies. They he, he gives me a five reading report, this is really deep. And there's a lot to read, a lot of exercise to do. But at the end of it, you really come up more aware and you really start working on yourself. So live a life of no regrets by Suzy Heyman. So that's the first one. The second one is, I've marked them, I've got this book here, because what I've also done is I've got myself and a, a full book,

00:38:41--> 00:38:44

and I started writing reviews of all these books for myself.

00:38:46--> 00:39:02

The second one is by Richard Templar. And it's called the rules to break. And he's written this as a theme of books that he's written all about the rules to break and this is, I said, it's a fabulous book. It's written by a Brit. And I really understood if you

00:39:04--> 00:39:42

open up with a really good humor, and it's really about Maxim's in life that we've been told, yeah. And he really gets us to question those Maxim's and how to break them and how to give a positive twist to them. I think there was about 30 chapters in that 30 different rules to break and it was really good. So you're gonna really enjoy this book. It'll go through the Maxim's will go through the rules, and it will give you a positive twist instead, and you'll read, you know, the things we do never question. We actually never do question. And you really will. And you'll, you'll be like, Oh, yeah, why do I say this? Why do I believe this? So that's definitely and the last one is one

00:39:42--> 00:39:59

that I read just last month, and it's just a new new release, and it's by a Muslim brother on the mugged duty. As I said, we've named correctly and it's called the Muslim entrepreneur. So for all the business owners and entrepreneurs out there, listen to your podcast in this episode.

00:40:00--> 00:40:12

Please get this book. I have literally been waiting for this book for the last six years as a business owner, and brother has done research for the last few years put this book together. And he's interviewed over 40.

00:40:13--> 00:40:47

Muslim millionaire and billionaire entrepreneurs and business owners, and how they make it to where they have. And it's 10 principles for the Muslim entrepreneur, and it covers Quran and Sunnah. It's really in depth, and it will really connect you back to your purpose. And for me, as an individual, obviously, I've learned and read so much from the western perspective, that sometimes I question myself to be successful and wealthy. Like, again, that limiting belief that permission, like Who am I to be this, who am I to do this, and this book really broke all the barriers for me.

00:40:49--> 00:41:09

It really took me over, I'm going to get a hard copy of it. And it's going to be something I'm going to refer to over and over again. So that is a definite. So those are the three books, and those three books, to our listeners, you can find them on our show notes, and all our show notes are on our website. So you don't have to worry about taking it down as you're listening right now. It's probably fine if you're writing.

00:41:10--> 00:41:20

Okay, so the second question that we have is what's your favorite life hack? Final advice for those who want to design to take their life to the next level? inshallah, I think why would I

00:41:22--> 00:41:46

always say that is that all the resources that you need to achieve awesomeness, and greatness, resolving families, and humanity over the news, all the resources that we need are within ourselves, we just need to step back and reconnect with ourselves, or reconnect with a lot of our data and find out so you don't need a million dollars to start off a business venture for instance. And you don't need

00:41:47--> 00:41:56

extensive knowledge of x, y and Zed to begin. You begin with yourself the resources of a Denise recent survey. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, cuz because it's always

00:41:57--> 00:42:11

finding more and more and more. Yes. And just to help before we definitely go, yeah. So finally, we can our audience find you online and connect with you. And one of my brands as an entrepreneur, I've got 13 brands, so what

00:42:12--> 00:42:52

is really inspired, which is an Islamic personal spiritual development. So I know like the majority of your listeners are going to be Muslim. So it's www.weebly.com. And from there, you have all the links to my public page on Facebook and Pinterest, and Google, and I'm pretty much on all social media, pretty much all social media, and inshallah, in the coming months, I will have my official website, Nadia leoneans, come up and running. And then that would help. They'll be really easy to navigate through all my brands and stuff. But currently, if you just want to go to ebay.com. And grab a free book for yourself, free ebook for yourself, and all the blog posts, and YouTube videos

00:42:52--> 00:42:58

and blogs, all day, inshallah. Excellent. So finally, so anything else you'd like to mention that you didn't get to do? So

00:43:00--> 00:43:07

I would like to miss out, especially just for inviting me on your show. And I've been listening to this since the very first day. And I'm like,

00:43:08--> 00:43:09

I love your podcast.

00:43:11--> 00:43:47

And I learned so much I actually do because you know, when I'm working online, I need to be handy to have something in my ear. And I always listen to your show as well. And I just want to say to all the listeners, that you really can achieve all that you wanted to a lot more than I've created as the best of creation. And he has given us all the resources that we need. And he you know, if you don't believe in your thoughts right now, then borrow mine and the five and the Muslim life hacks, belief. And still, if you don't believe us, then as you know, having a confidence and belief then know that the one who created you believe in you. And you can achieve greatness, not just for

00:43:47--> 00:44:13

yourself and your family. But our online community. You're no different to anybody else who's achieved greatness. You are special. You have unique abilities, talents of skills, and knowledge, which you've probably forgotten about right now or not giving yourself permission. I was once there too. And you need to reconnect with yourself. And yes, you can. I believe in you. Fantastic. And as he got Madea, thanks again for joining us. I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me.

00:44:16--> 00:44:54

So there you have it, the interview with Nadia Yunus. One thing I want to touch upon in support of rewriting the negative stories that we have grown up with and how it's not an easy task, it's going to be difficult. It's going to be uncomfortable, and it does require bravery. The easy option for sure is just to complain about it and remain a victim. But is this the type of life you want to settle for? That's a question we all need to ask ourselves. On a side note the topic of finding our unique purpose. If you want to get deeper into this topic, then do check out another interview I did earlier on personal visions with shake sided Omar, it was Episode Two from season three. Anyway,

00:44:54--> 00:44:59

that's all for today. If you've enjoyed this episode, take the time to share it with a friend. Send an email

00:45:00--> 00:45:16

Facebook message tweet WhatsApp, all the old fashioned way in person. Now this brings me to the end of the podcast. Friends until next time, remember the only person you should aim to be better than is the person that you were yesterday. So give it your best today.

00:45:18--> 00:45:30

Thank you for listening to the Muslim life hackers podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave a review for us on iTunes by going to Muslim life hack is.com forward slash iTunes