Muslema Purmul – Struggles of Unmarried Woman In A Muslim Family

I've seen sisters who have been in this situation where the they'll

go home and their mom is actually mad at them for not being married.

How are you mad at your daughter for not being married? Like, what

is she asking? Do you want her to ask for the brother? I don't have

a problem, by the way, with sisters appropriately going and

approaching brothers, but it's it's like they they're blaming

them. And one mom had said something to her daughter along

the lines of, if you were smart, you would have tons of guys lining

up at the door. I mean, what you know this is, this is really

interesting advice coming from a mother to her daughter, even in

even in a joking fashion, because what does it tell her about her

self worth and how she's supposed to carry herself and put herself

in a public space or an environment. So for a daughter

who's facing this where she herself has become content with

Allah's decree and is waiting, is open to marriage, but is not

desperate, but her parents are what I would say is for you to

politely give the reminders about Allah, subhana, wa taala, destiny

for each person their match, and that match coming when that time

is right, at the same time we tie the camel, so making sure that,

you know, it's not just tawakkul, but you're, you're involved in

some kind of practical way of, you know, opening yourself up to more

and more consideration processes, whether that's having your parents

talk to the Imam and the Masjid saying, Keep my daughter in mind

for suitable spouses or I don't know about the online databases

very much, but if there's something that's online that is

appropriate and not disrespectful towards the sisters or the

brothers, but making sure that you are practically going after it

without being desperate for it. And the other thing is that

sometimes, even as you're doing everything you possibly can on a

practical level to open up the possibility of marrying the right

person, it's still not written for you to be married yet, and the

parents are still behaving in a way where they're upset with you

and they're anxious realize that at the end of the day, you can

only control your own choices. You can't control the behavior of your

parents, so be content with that. You've done all that you can do to

open them up to having Ridha. But if at the end, they don't, and

they're still sort of desperate for you or anxious, have mercy on

them and realize that's just the way it's going to

be you.