Muslema Purmul – Interaction With Opposite Sex In Islam

Also when we're dealing with the opposite gender to that we should

have a reason to interact. It's not a complete free for all that

we lower our gaze from from two things we you lower your gaze when

what you're looking upon is attractive to you, even if the

aura is covered. And you also lower your gaze from the outer

that's uncovered to keep the interaction public, so to make

sure that we're that you're not secluded

in some place, you know, there's sometimes MSA people sister will

be like, Oh, I'll go pick up my books from your apartment. No,

don't do that,

because that, even if it's like, somewhat public, you know, it has,

it has, like, a question mark over it, because there's not, it's not

so public, like this conference is public on campus, at a restaurant

or in the library is public. But sometimes, you know, if you find

yourself, and this is what a sister had mentioned to me, she

was getting notes from her brother, and he was like, Oh yeah,

that's in the trunk of my car. She goes out to the parking lot.

They're the only two people in the parking lot in her university,

because everyone else was gone, and that was, it's technically an

outside space. You didn't technically, you know, break a

brule, but it's one of those things that it's like a, you know,

if we avoid the shubhu hat, we avoid these, the doubtful things.

There should be purposes, right? So we're organizing an event. This

is a purpose to come together around.

We are discussing a chapter that for our Halakha that we're going

to cover together. This is a positive purpose to come around,

even, you know, interacting with one another, saying, you know, how

are you? How's your family? This is all okay, you know, it's Islam

is there's if you look at the interactions of the companions

Pamela, you would find that they're much more fluid and

organic, but you do have this quality of goodwill, that people

know their boundaries when they're talking to each other, and because

it's coming from a place of actual consideration, subhanAllah, that

there's not like, there's not a need to to be so, you know,

scared or paranoid in the interaction, we're scared and

we're paranoid usually because we don't know we're speaking to

people of different backgrounds, and we're so afraid of being

misperceived As too friendly, right? Or I don't want the sister

to think I want to marry her. I don't want the brother to think I

want to marry him, but I just want to ask him, How was your exam, you

know? So

just if you understand the shaniya, you can ask him, How is

your exam, and if you do it with the right intentions, subhanAllah,

I don't this is another thing. I've noticed, even some of the

most shy people, when you deal with them with a good intention

and a good manner, they are welcoming of that interaction, and

they don't feel that someone has invaded their personal space. So

there are certain things in this society that are not

considered shameful or taboo, but in the east, they're considered

shameful and taboo, and those particular things are not

necessarily haram. Okay, so I'll give you an example. In

Afghanistan, the idea of young people going to a cinema was like

the most taboo thing ever. Like it was so taboo, it was so bad. And

in kindergarten, we had a field trip. They wanted to take us, all

the five year olds, to go and watch Pinocchio in the movie

theater. And my mom was like, over my dead body, my five year old

will never step foot in a movie theater watching Pinocchio because

of this, you know, thing that was in Afghanistan. She had in

Afghanistan, it was a completely different scenario. People would

use the dark theater to do bad things, you know. So she just, she

it was a misperception, I guess, of the context. So that was not

necessarily something that was going to ruin my reputation as a

five year old, but there are definitely things that it would

right. So when the Prophet Muhammad SAW was speaking to one

of his wives, and it was dark, and a man is walking one of the

companions is walking by, he actually clarifies to the

companion, this is my wife. And they're like, how could we ever

think anything bad of you? And the Prophet says, because the shaytaan

runs through every vein you know, meaning that even the Prophet

protected his reputation and protected the reputation of his

wife. So sometimes, if you hear your parents say, you have to

protect your reputation, it's not all wrong, because the Prophet SAW

Salam did it. But there are extremes. Sometimes a person can

take that to an extreme where they distort what Islam

is a.