Channel: Musleh Khan
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smilla Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah He after losada. Woman while Berenson Mr. De Kumara to LA he warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. And this is the second installment of our conversation between gender relations in Islam, but specifically from Sula to know and we're going to add some other passages and verses of the Quran on the subject in sha Allah. So just like we mentioned yesterday, if any of you have any questions on this subject to this particular subject, just type it in the comments field and we'll go from there in sha Allah hota Aida, let's get right into this. Now remember, those of you that are tuning in for the first time, if you have not seen
the previous episode, this is going to be all over the place for you. And what I mean by that is you'll still make some connections, but the previous episode is important because it introduces the subject very, very nicely. When all is said and done. Somebody is sitting in someone's home, okay, this is an extension now or continuation of the previous episode. Now you're in somebody's home. Allah gives very specific instructions. Only meaning say to the believing men. Now when you're the Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam. And Allah tells you, that's not the same as Yeah, you're Latina Mo, or you who believe when you have coil, a lot of once the Prophet Alayhi salat wa salam to go and
tell the companions this message. Yeah, you're Latina? Em? No, Allah is speaking directly to the companions. So the first question here is, why didn't Allah Just say yes, you have Latina m? And the answer to this are several, but I'll share with you a couple of them. Number one, whenever you see portal, in the core n, it's how core and teaches you too appreciate the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, to love and respect his message to respect him as a teacher as a leader. So that's the first thing. The second thing, of course, is when you have a medium when you have someone, you know, if Allah says, Yeah, you will Edina I'm an old blob, satakam or people are the men. I commend you to control
your gaze, control your eyes. It's very different than if you send somebody in this case a messenger and say tell them and you sit with somebody and you say, Look, man,
you got to control your eyes. The eyes are serious, and it's a big deal in our religion and you have to do this. This is something from the poor end, and it's something that Allah subhanho wa Taala wants to do with
Can't be careless with our eyes. You know, the conversation is subtle. It's a bit more sensitive, where it's very intimidating, intimidating and profound when it comes directly from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And in, you know, logically, if you were to have this kind of conversation with somebody, how do you like, how do you go up to somebody and even start the conversation, say, Hey, man, look, I saw you staring at that girl. And you should stop doing that. And then look at you, and they'll get offended almost immediately, wouldn't they?
But here's the thing. Listen to how the AI is going to introduce this subject, will listen to how it does it. First, unless it's parallel, meaning it doesn't say muslimeen.
Which means that the subject now about controlling the eyes,
has everything to do with Amen. This is lesson one guys on gender interaction.
The laws of attraction, lowering the gaze of the eyes lower, controlling what you see, where does that begin with? It's an E men problem.
It's not a sexual desire problem. It's not just a staring problem.
This is a weakness in men. How do we know that? Less is poorly meaning, say to the believers. Now the audience in the first area here, verse 30, are the males. So all the males out there listening to this, this is for you and me? A lot talks to us first, you know why? Because we have a bigger problem with this subject than the women do. And the women, they're coming up in the next day. But when it comes to us, Allah says, okay, you first
you got to lower your eyes, you got to lower your gaze. Why? Because this is a bigger problem for you. And there are 1000s of articles that psychologists and experts across the globe since the beginning of time that have written on this, the psyche of a man, this is just something that he does, much more than a woman would do.
Except next point. So that's the first lesson it's connected to Amen.
Number two, number two,
a lot. So a Joe
says to speak to these believers, and speak to people who have Amen. And he tells them he Oh, hold blue. Here is where and we get into some nitty gritty stuff. Yeah, hold blue comes from the word of Help button. a loved one means to make something weak. It also means to turn from one direction to another. Right? So you're going towards one direction. And then you steer off and you go towards another direction. That's
a lie. I didn't say tell the believers to close their eyes. A lot didn't say tell the believers to, you know, look to the ground, or to stop looking all together. Unless said we can the look. Yeah, hold though. So what does that mean? Here's lesson two.
It means that
when you are looking, don't stare.
Don't just sit there and be lost in your gaze to the person and he is just like,
what did you say?
Who are you saying again? Oh, okay. Okay. Sorry. I just I got lost. That's what I was talking about. So the answer the question, Are you allowed to look at the opposite gender? gender? The answer is? Yes.
Are you allowed to stare with desire with lust lost in your in your gaze? No. That's the problem. So it's about control here. And what keeps you under control? Go back to the first word, meaning it's your amen that does that. In men, keeps the eyes under control. Now, we're talking about gender interactions, right? Right. So why are we talking about the eyes? Write this down. Those of you that are listening, write this down somewhere texted to yourself, I don't care how you do it. Just just recorded somewhere.
When you can control what you see, you will control what you do.
Let me say it again in a different way. If you can control your eyes, you will control your actions.
It starts here. So when we're going to talk about this massive subject of gender interaction, you have to start at the root of the problem. The root of why this becomes an issue for so many Muslims. So many people in general, is this. Why do you think the adult industry is so powerful? It's not because
People who watch this stuff are actually going out there and doing it.
It's not that it's specifically, it's powerful because people can control that. So they're just clicking from one website to another to one video to another, and it just goes on and on into that cycle.
And then ultimately, if it's not under control, then it leads to the desire to want to do the action will be left, right. But it all started off where you kept staring at this stuff, you keep looking at this, you keep looking at her, you're not going to school, just because you need to go to school, you're not going to that mall, because you're not going to the mall, because it's relaxing, and you just want to cruise around the mall. Because you know, there's a lot to see when you're there. That's why you don't go buy coffee at that specific coffee shop. Just because they make it differently.
It's because there's a there's a specific cashier that's there. And it's just, it's just nice to go.
You gotta be honest with yourself. When I go through this guy's it's gonna really probably rubbed some of you the wrong way.
You might feel like, Oh, what is he saying to me? That's the point. And if you feel like that, then understand, that's from a lemon, a lot of what's good for you. So sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable. So a couple of things, those of you that are tuning in, this is an Amen, problem. Number two, if you can control what you see, you will control what you do. And number three, Allah didn't say stop looking at the opposite gender. So the brothers Allah didn't say stop looking at women. Allah says that when you're looking at women, don't be lost in looking at them Don't Don't be lost in a stare. Plus, it's kind of creepy when you do that.
Then Allah continues, he says Min ebal Sati him from a complete view. You know how some people when they look at you, like they could be staring at your face, but they already know what color shoes you're wearing.
They can tell everything from head to toe. That's what men have sodium. Allah is saying that when you look, refrain from taking in a complete view. bossier comes from the word buster. And Buster is when you see somebody from head to toe, back front everything. So Allah is saying, just stick to the point, man, if she is a cashier, if she's your teacher, if she's somebody, a colleague, just do your job, go to the lesson, buy what you need to buy, and move on.
And sisters, you will have more control in this in a very interesting way. When we get to the next verse, I'll show you what that is. But for the brothers, everything is about the eyes. so far. Everything is about the eyes. So now when you are interacting now when you're talking to the opposite gender, just stick to the subject. Now how do you do that? How do you start a conversation with a woman or a sister about anything?
This is where it gets interesting. Now as it gets tricky. I'm going to I'm going to make an attempt with this and let's see where this goes. Okay.
In my culture where I where I live, I live in Toronto in Canada, right? So Western culture. When you talk to somebody you say, Hey, hi, how are you? How are you? Having good day? Good, good. Even if you speak to a fellow Muslim sister, Salaam Alaikum. And she responds, where are they coming? Salama? How are you? Sister? hamdulillah How are you brother? hamdulillah. And it's usually that's enough. So the social standard from where I live.
Okay, in the western, you know, in the West in general, is you start off with a set em, you say How are you? And you kind of wish you know, have a nice day, have a wonderful day or it's good to see you. We can say things like that without coming off creepy right? Now if I was in like in Medina
and I went up to assistant, Salaam Alaikum, I might get punched in the face. Or she'll look at me. And she like men, somebody needs to do Rokia on him. She's saying Salaam to me for because socially that's unacceptable. You don't just walk around in that culture in that society. It's a conservative type of culture. You don't just walk around there and just say Salaam to women.
It doesn't happen and they do the same to you. It doesn't happen. So the answer to this question of what is the standard of too much interaction? The answer to that is what is socially acceptable, what is socially acceptable without crossing the barriers that Allah set. Don't go too far. So if it's
Assalamualaikum Good morning, how are you? And that's socially the standard of how people interact with each other without, you know, crossing lines stop there.
Now, if you go to other parts of like, you know, I don't even want to say just you go to other parts of the world, you can spark a conversation real easily by breaking the ice with a Hello. With a How are you? You look different. You can you can break the conversation and take it the next step from that. That's what Allah is saying. Yeah, hope lumen of Sati him. Don't cross that line. Don't cross that line.
That's the point. So I'll give you an example. Right? Let's just say I say hello to a sister, right? I'm going to throw myself into this guy's okay. So don't get me in trouble. And I see somebody comes to spirituality or salon brother, how are you good at hamdulillah How are you sister hamdulillah. And I say to the sister now, it seems that a new IBO you're wearing
you know she might be like, one or two things. She didn't like yeah, I can't believe you noticed. Yeah, it is in your bio. Or she'll look at me and she's like, Man, you're so creepy.
So I have to know, the standard to stop. That's where you break the ice. That's that's where you it doesn't go beyond when you go beyond that. Now. Now you get into how long territory now you're getting yourself into trouble with Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Now, watch what happens next. Why follow through? jevelin?
Allah Subhana Allah. So just so I conclude this well, so that whole conversation of how much is too much socializing is dependent on what is socially done and acceptable without crossing the laws of Allah subhana wa Tada.
And it also that the point of that answer is, there is not a black and white threshold. Like, it's not that clear scholar. This is why. Remember, I said to you yesterday, this is why you'll find one group of people where they won't even respond to your salon. If you say Hi there, like
you're saying, even if it's a non Muslim, Good morning, sir.
Good morning. shaitan. Sorry, sorry, I can't say good morning to you from my religion. He's like, dude, relax.
Or you find the complete opposite extreme. Good morning. Hey, good morning. How are you? Mashallah, you know, how are you? He just goes to the other extreme.
He's like, What in the world? Yeah.
So to balance the two is the social standard.
And the social standard has one rule, that's a luxury rule. What is considered too much, the touching part is always too much in any culture in society. That's always too much
the touching part. Now, that brings us to the whole conversation, the first question that pops in my mind is, what about shaking the hands? The answer to that is also not black and white.
For the most part, you should try to avoid shaking hands with the opposite gender, you should try to avoid that. But if it's like, a real intense situation, you go for a job interview for it, for example.
And you know, the boss, the interviewer, extends her hand out to shake your hands and you're like, I'm so sorry. I'm Muslim, I can't do that. There's a there's a possibility that you might lose your job, you might lose the the interview, my goal, totally wrong. And you have to think in the back of your mind that if not shaking somebody's hand is going to jeopardize my opportunity to work in this company. What if I did get the job then how would my life be? If that's how it started off with just the simple shaking of a hand refusal?
And what's going to happen if I need to pray, and I don't get five minutes to pray, what's going to happen and when I need to go for Juma and I don't get that option. Because why it's startup Allah gave me a hint, shaking the hands was a big problem here.
So don't you dare try to ask for time for prayer for the msgid for anything else, if we invite you to this party, that party, there's alcohol being served, there's, you know, pork and how Tom foods being served and you don't participate, you know, you're going to be singled out for the rest of your life in that company. So it's kind of like you've got to think it through Subhana Allah, you've got to think it through. No, you know, I'm looking at some of the comments. Shireen Rashid, you need to use a yardstick in general, I don't even know what that means. But I think
I understand what point is, I've heard the yardstick thing I've heard Oh, I just wear gloves.
You can put on gloves, when it's like 35 degrees out there, just so that you avoid shaking hands with somebody like, isn't that even more weird? Believe it or not some some of the scholars say that as long as there's no fitna, then you can make the handshake very brief and walk away. That's it.
You know, it's, it's interesting, I don't have a photo to share with you that I can say, this is what you do each and every scenario, what I'm going to say to you is that you will have to wait the greater of the two goods in the worst of the two evils in that situation. I'm going to leave it at that for now. That subject will come up a little later in sort of the new one, and maybe we might talk about it again. But I don't have a straightforward, clear cut answer of what to do when somebody especially in an important situation, what to do in that moment. What you do in that moment. So I will say to you, if you can avoid it, then by all means, that's the safer way to deal
with things. But if you're really stuck the product, the you know, the president extends his or her hand out to you, you know, you're at a job interview, you know, some kind of situation where cameras are all over you, and you want to take the chance and be like, No, dude, you better deal with the ripple effect that comes with it if that's something you don't want to do. shaking the hands very briefly for a split second is not something that stimulates any, like it's not you don't have that problem. You know yourself best. And perhaps maybe in situations like that you can get away with it. But Allah subhanaw taala knows best, right? I'm not going to give you a clear cut answer simply
because there doesn't exist one. Okay. Okay, now, this is gonna just gonna get even more more unbelievable. While you follow Fujairah home. So we finished talking about the eyes. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala says, then protect the privates.
That's a massive jump, you go from the eyes, to protecting the privates.
What is like one extreme to the other? A lot of things happened before you get here. What aleste talking about is protect yourself from Xena. Protect yourself from Xena. So
what do you do in this situation? So, here's the here's what's happening, here's what's happening. Okay, let's, let's make sure that we're clear on this. There's a lot of things that when you stare at somebody that ultimately will lead to you potentially committing Zina with that person, a lot does not give you the details, how that happens, you know why? Because those are the things that are of no benefit to us. You ever noticed that? Like when you watch, you know, cartoons and TV shows these days, that, you know, you see all the little details, you know, it starts off with the look, then it turns into the smile, then the smile turns until Okay, you know, then we go and ask a
question, ask a question turns into what's your email emails? Here's what's your number, number turns, and it just keeps going, going, going? Going? You have 100. And you know, you have 1000s of different little baby steps. And ultimately, then it leads to, let's get together. Let's go out sometime one day turns into five dates. And before you know it did, you get my point.
Now we're talking to the men in this area. Allah says, if you can avoid those little things in between. and the start of that is to control what you look at that leak as Callahan that is so much pure for them.
You know, brothers, when we can control our eyes, you can concentrate better, you can study better, you can memorize, everything in life just becomes easier and clearer.
You can perform in life at a much more efficient rate, and a much more beneficial manner. When you can control your eyes, the eyes are incredibly powerful. And now less says it's a desk ear for you, it will purify you, when you control your eyes you will be purified in every way shape or form Subhan Allah Who thinks about controlling their eyes that I'm going to be purified by Allah subhanaw taala for the for doing this, who thinks like that? Especially in a time in a society in where everything that revolves around every poster you see in the mall, you're just like a stop at a lot. You know and the way people get dressed, the way people act, you know?
That whole touchy touchy feely feely culture, like he's like, Oh my god, wow.
This is so much. But if I keep on warding this stuff off as a men, Allah says this is going to be pure for you you will live life so much but you're concentrating your Salah you'll be able to read your core and you'll be able to memorize you'll be able to study you'll be able to sit with the show you you'll be able to do it all you'll excel at school you'll excel in life
all because you control what you looked at some handle law
and then a luck includes when it comes to the men in the law hobby I don't deny your scenario and Allah is fully well aware of what you manufacture. You know in Arabic When you see construction, you say saw not I told
you know, Sonera no construction is having Sonera is the root word of yes and erroneous sanera sanera. It means to build something from the ground up. Unless talking to who the men to put it together.
Men, we are really good at manufacturing a plan to get or gain the attention of a woman.
We're really good at that.
Let me give you an example. He goes to a conference.
And you know, the ushers at the door. A couple of them are sisters. So the first thing that he does is he sees that which door has the sister and she's attractive, okay. And he lines up there.
And that lineup is longer than all the other lineups. But he doesn't care about how long he has to stand there he cares about is when it gets to that Usher then eventually gets there. And he looks like hey, so hammer. I think when you look so familiar, here's my ticket. Yeah, man, you look so familiar. Are you working here? Okay, okay, I'll be around to as well see what he did sparked a conversation later on. When everybody's in the conference. He kind of steps out and he's just he's just looking around and he sees her Oh, she's standing over there. A simulacrum. I remember I was telling I was the brother that said, you look real familiar. Yeah, man. I don't know where I saw you
from. He's repeating the same thing. But he's doing it in different words. What's his plan? What is he trying to do? He's trying to keep the conversation going. He wants to make a connection. So he tries so as he's talking to me, he's like, Man, you know, Mashallah. There's a lot of sisters here. But you you're different, you you you act different, you look different, you know, the indirect compliment.
And she falls for it.
She falls for it. Sisters, your area is coming next. How to stop that. So you don't fall for these goofballs. You know you don't fall for this stupidity that some of these guys like to do.
I'm going to show you how to do it show you how to navigate through every time somebody tries to spark interest in you get Oh my God, he's so he's so nice to be how to see through all of that. And you become a strong, focused woman now you'll you'll see that in a minute, inshallah. So he does that. And then one thing leads to another, he's like, you know, woman, you know, I don't, I don't really like to talk to anybody else. So you have an email or something or Instagram account or something, I could just like to stay connected with you. I'm new to the dean as well and starting to practice and just need somebody that encouraged me. And she falls for just a guy. Okay, you know, I
tell you know, I love to send reminders, you know, anything for the sake of Allah. So he does it. And one thing leads to another, that's called the snare when he's carefully manipulating her because he's got this plan to build something. And if she's not careful, she falls into it. And that's why in society today,
some girls when they're like, 1516 years old, they make the biggest mistakes of their lives and it changes the rest of their lives. The course of their life is completely changed because why they fell for the manufacturing plan that he had.
Now, sisters, same message to you.
Only a minute say to the believing women. Y'all let me know sorry. You know, I felt in the photo Joe horn but they protect their eyes and protect their privates. Then Allah says, Well, are you Medina Xena. tahuna illa melva hora, minha, then they should not make something clear or obvious except that which is obvious. don't expose your beauty.
don't expose your beauty. This is verse 31. don't expose your beauty except that which is obvious. What does that even mean? illa mavado minha are there are about six opinions. All right, Chateau de la Marina has her own opinion, email.
I'm a chef, you're a human who has his own opinion. There are men have different opinions of what is obvious beauty of a woman. Some states the hand some states defeat some things, both some states. Some states have this. It's that
to take all these opinions together, it's safe to say the beauty that is obvious is the beauty that she can't cover up no matter what she does. So, you know, in some countries where women wear niqab you ever notice like some brothers will still look at her like she's fully covered from head to toe, which is in niqab all you see is her eyes, and he looks at it and he's like Mashallah. Not Masha Allah, she's a nip hobbies like Mashallah he's attracted to something of her. It is like,
What are you looking at? What is it if you see your Masha Allah what her her eyelash like? What do you What's wrong with her pupils? What are you talking about?
It's just that's the connection.
Allah is saying that there is beauty in a woman
that no matter what she does, she cannot conceal. It. Could be her height. Could be her shape could be her and something about her. She can't stop it. She could have an astronaut outfit on. And still, there will be a BRAVIA. Mashallah, look at that helmet. Wait, what are you talking about? Well, that just happens. It just, it'll happen.
You know, what is amazing about this verse for the woman,
you know, particularly for women that have low self esteem and low confidence about their beauty about their appearance and that sort of thing. You know, some of these women they pay 1000s of dollars to psychologists and so on to say, Can you tell me make me feel beautiful? Can you give me the confidence, so I can feel good about myself? I'm too short. I'm too tall. I'm too skinny. I'm too fat. I'm too this. Oh, no. Can you make me feel better about myself? Look what Allah said, sisters, listen up. I'm gonna read it again. While you beginner and don't expose your beauty in Navajo Roman, except that which is obvious.
Who's talking here? By the way?
And who is he talking to? The women?
What did he just say? beauty?
A lot just called you. Beautiful.
A lot called Women beautiful.
And he says your beauty.
Don't just throw it around.
Except what you can't control that's not your fault. You're not accountable for that. Not gonna punish you for that.
Alone called you beautiful. What more of a validation does a woman want? When her own creator says she's beautiful. Makes it.
now this brings up that massive topic about Okay, then what about my hijab? Should I wear hijab? What? What kind of hijab what kind of colors, you know, these, these are some of the extreme views you might have heard. All the obvious beauty is because when some women wear colored, ie jab, it should always be black or dark colors, as one opinion you hear about, then another will be like, Oh, it's because she wears pants and pants are hot on. There's another thing opinion you all have sheets, because you know it's close, fitted and transparent. She didn't follow the seven conditions of a job, that's a whole nother thing. We're not gonna get into any of that. That's a lot of fear
behind that. What I'm going to say to you is very simple. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know that when you get dressed every day,
how you get dressed, what you choose to wear. And when you look in that mirror, if you don't see it, that hopefully others don't see it either.
You have to be conscious of the idea that these are instructions from Allah, to preserve, and to protect. A beauty that Allah says is beautiful to him. You know, one of the things that I really, really appreciate about this verse is that when a look calls a woman, beautiful
we don't even have a verse like that for men.
We have to work to be beautiful. Because when men you know if we don't comb our hair, if we don't, you know, groom ourselves. We look like homeless people. But for a woman, it's not the same. Allah says you're just always beautiful.
And what you can't control Don't worry, you're not
not accountable for that stuff. But these are the conditions that he sends with the Prophet it slides with some of what is hijab and how to wear it and all the different forms, etc, etc. In terms of colors and styles of hijab, goes back to the culture and society you live in. So in Saudi, I keep using Saudi as an example because I was born there. And I lived there the most after Toronto. So I kind of consider Medina and here my two homes, right I lived in Medina, I was born in Medina, I was I studied in Medina, that's my second home. And 99% of the women there were black, and their neck hobbies. So if you try to apply that and be like, that's how people in Toronto should live, it's not
going to work. Because that's a cultural thing. When you go to Saudi, you don't wear this bright pink hijab, that people can spot all the way from Mecca, you don't do that. You try your best to be as subtle and blend in with the culture. Well lucky By Allah, if I lived in Medina, you would never see me dressed like this, I would wear the white film, I would wear the scarf on my head, just like how the men wear. And that's how I would dress. And as a matter of fact, when I was a student there, that's exactly the how I dress. I never put on a pair of jeans for one year, when I'm there study, I put it on when I get back home. That's it. So it's about at least keeping that culture part of this
these kinds of decisions. So here in this part of the world, when women wear colored hijabs, nobody's like oh my God, look at the yellow look at a brown. Nobody cares. Because it's that's the culture, that's just how the women dress here. The most important thing is, don't make it stand out, like so if she has like mirrors, reflectors on her hijab is you know, it's a smart hijab, you know, she can, you know, change the color under, like, if you have something like that that's a different story. But just wearing different styles and colors. Nobody cares about that stuff here. It's just that's the way Muslim women dress in this part of the world. So you keep that as part of your
decision and you move with that.
Now, to conclude the verse, it's going to share with us some exceptions to this. While you're holding the photo LML for a minute, well, you're gonna be homare Hinari ledger you begin,
then take and allow her homeowner to fall here. This is the home Jew, you j bone is actually referring to the chest cavity. So Allah orders that she takes her headscarf. Now, back in the days before this area was revealed women used to cover their hair, but they used to have like a ponytail, the extra material used to hang from the back. So Allah says let it fall into front for obvious reasons, right. Now, next point. ls says that if, when it comes to the hijab, you ever hear you know a lot of modernists, they say there's no such verse in the Quran that tells a woman to wear the hijab.
The answer to that is, yeah, you're right. There isn't a any verse that says wear a hijab. And if you're talking about the headscarf the word in the poor n for hijab, meaning headscarf is not hijab. It's a mouth.
The mouth is a head cover.
And in Arabic In general, just because it's came out as a head cover doesn't mean it entails it doesn't entail other things. It's a head cover, and everything else that's called a female.
So when Alice says what to do, but even the homily him, take the head cover and allow it to hit the chest area to cover this area. You find don't don't we see like some girls that will wear like a bandana style hijab, you know, or she'll have like, the nice hijab, she'll tie it up, you know, three, four times, and then she'll have a T shirt on.
You know, I understand if you you know, when you speak to sisters like that, and they say you look I'm trying you know, it's a struggle, but I'm trying that's okay. I understand.
What I don't accept. We shouldn't accept is when you try to say that that is Islam.
I'm trying is one thing, but I'm still most I mean, I still covered none of
us this a good start, but you're not there yet. Because that's the laws rule. It's not my rule. It's not that he ma'am or that shift. No, no. You don't get to twist and turn what version of claimout you wish to have. No. You know, I've been asked before about wearing a baseball cap. It's
covering my hair, isn't that hijab? It's a start, I guess.
But you have not fulfilled the lesson instructions. Yeah. It's the next gotta be covered. Other things avocado can be transparent. Gotta be loose Bumble, lots of other things, right?
But I understand that you're starting.
And you don't I want to address something here. Very often when you know parents, listen carefully, when you have daughters, you're trying to teach them about hijab and try to get them to wear the hijab. Sure, you might try to do it. It's cute when they're young, you know, you try to blend weird when they go outside and go to a mall or something. Just remember that sorta, nor was revealed to the Prophet Ali's subtle slum 18 or 19 years after Islam was born.
The sooner came down to about 18 to 19 years after poor and is being revealed. You have time.
So she when she becomes a teenager, and the hijab thing is still a struggle for her. And it's not because of the weakness of a man, it's because she's scared. Islamophobia is real. The threats are real, the stairs are frightening.
And she's intimidated by that. It's, it's okay, that if she's modest from the shoulder down, and she's missing this, there's still some work to be done.
Don't force the hijab down her throat, don't do that. Because that creates an allergic reaction. The rebel everyone rebels because why? That's where you start hearing about those movements that say, Well, okay, you know what, if you're gonna force us to wear this, then this whole hijab, yet they got to be reformed, they've got to be changed. Because it's our own choice, I'm a good person, and I should be able to dress when and how I choose and not be forced by you, you run into that problem.
So you've got to like, be very, very methodical about this and go slowly, everybody is different. There's 1000s and 1000s of sisters that don't see a hijab in their lifetime until after they're married. till after a divorce happens, and they, you know, they get out of a nasty marriage, and they're able to concentrate on themselves again, and that's when they discover this stuff. And then they start that process. Some women are just like that, that's fine. What I'm trying to say to you is, if this was a priority, right from the get go, why didn't Allah reveal sudo to node with sudo f croc? The first chapter of the Quran widen right after sort of the northcom because the stuff take
time. And there's a lot of things to be learned in the 19 years to process them as revealing the poor and lots of things were learned before these orders came.
So it's about knowing a lot. It's about knowing the value of the deen the value of following his instructions. Now let's conclude this verse.
Well, the ability to be hungry when Elijah you'll be him. Now you understand? Now here's the thing. One last thing, sisters, yellowed a banana. Allah didn't say well, el bisnar Bahama. Rehan Aladdin say wear the hijab. We're not gonna lie. Didn't say just wear it.
Unless is what the yellow ribbon a Baba is something that's consistent and it's continuous. What's the Baba?
So Allah is saying that when you wear this hijab, it's going to happen regularly, it's going to happen often. And you know how some, you know, sisters, you know how sometimes when you put on a hijab, that you know a little bit of hair falls off and you got to tuck it back in. When you're sitting in the car, you look in the mirror, you're making sure everything every 10 minutes, you arrive where you going, you're like, I gotta go to the bathroom, check my Jeff twist, turn, you just keep going back and forth with the hijab, yellow tape, and that captures that.
When What do you find annoying with the hijab? Allah says, Oh, that's worship to me.
How beautiful is that?
The things that we find annoying. Allah says, Oh, don't worry, I'm counting all of that as tisby.
That's all bottlecap
every time you keep struggling to twist and turn and fix that, hey, Joey, I'm rewarding you for every split second, every moment. Just going to pause here is a quick question.
How should one encourage his wife to wear the proper hijab?
just encourage, I mean, I can't tell you exactly what to do. But it's just about encouraging teaching. Let them let her listen to videos like this. And encourage them talk to them. Let them see the beauty and the value. Try it out here from time to time.
And just understand that there are a lot of influences out there that
Tell people encourage people to twist and turn and you know, these different forms and styles of hijab, like you can go on YouTube and you find these hijab tutorials. You have like a hijab for the sidewalk, a hijab when you're driving hijab when you're on the subway Hey Jeff stuff and when you're walking, hey, Jeff, so when you're sitting at Jeff Stover, this outfit and that outfit, you're missing the point. The hijab is not a garment that reflects beauty. But it's a garment that reflects your willingness to submit yourself in humility to Allah subhana wa Tada. That's what the hijab really is.
He's now wearing it to cover beauty and that's it. It's about that whole idea a lot tells me to, to do something and this is part of my humility and submission to him. subhanho wa Taala.
Let's finish this up. While you begin as Xena tahona Now I'm going to share with you who
the exceptions of wearing the hijab, okay, so who she's allowed to remove her hijab in front of. Okay, so this is going to be a list of people that she is permitted to remove her hijab from. Number one, what are you betina Xena tahuna illa leabhar Ola t hin
back in so she does not have to cover up her beauty in front of number one, liberal Latina baru Latina battle alone. His husband is another name for husband bear loon is like when you plant a tree, and you water it that's buried, plant a tree and you water it. So this kind of relates to the question that we just looked at about when a husband is trying to encourage his wife to wear it. It requires time to nurture that process. It's not an easy decision. It's not just something you put on and that's it and you walk away in it. Everything just fits perfectly. And it's an enormous transition from a particular lifestyle to another. So Barragan, she's allowed to show off her beauty
obviously, to her husband. But that relationship and how that happens, is has it takes time and it's nurtured. So that's why Allah uses this word. So that when you do now try to encourage her to wear it, it's not gonna be an easy process. And that will take time, but the point is not to give up on it, not to give up on it. That's the key. So that's number one. She's allowed to take her key job in front of her husband. Number two, Betty hinda, or her father,
Betty baru Latina, or the father of her husband's so her father in law.
He his or her sons have been a ebru Latina, or the sons of her husband's meaning her stepsons. Then Allah continues out when he hinda or her brothers.
Now with this when it comes to the brothers, when we say she's allowed to take her hijab off in front of her brothers, yeah, that's fine. But let's just keep in mind, you know that there are some families and even cultures that have that sort of like teddy bear relationship with their siblings. You have to stop that. Because that's, that's not acceptable. In our Dean, you know, you might touch each other a certain way, is that kind of interaction, there's still limitations, even with your own brother. So that's the fact that Allah says that she can remove her hijab to an extent she can just walk around, you know, wearing whatever she wants now, no, there's still a limitation there. Okay.
Oh, Benny, when he hindlimb Oh, Benny, one hint, hint, or the children of her brothers. So her nephews and our Benny a holla at him now also the children have her sister so her nephews and nieces, nephews and nieces. When he says he hinda or from other women. Some of that element differ who this is other women. It could also does that mean non Muslim women. Allah knows best. But it could be referring that she's allowed to to remove her hijab off, specifically in front of other Muslim women. And sisters, you got to keep this in mind, especially in a day and age where we have cell phones and every cell phone has a camera. If you take your hijabs off in front of non Muslim
women only, it they might not understand the sense of sensitivity. So when she takes pictures, she might post it on Facebook, and that plays into here and there. And there you are without hijab, and it's not our fault, like those kinds of sensitivities she's not aware of non Muslim women are not aware of. So you just got to make sure that you keep that in the back of your mind. But perhaps the display is referring specifically that she's allowed to remove it in front of other Muslim women. Oh, man medikit amen to what the right hand possesses from women socially. You know, obviously, this
doesn't exist with tiberian have it all in Aruba? Or
are we tiberian alighieri? Will everybody MENA region
or those who, men who do not have Arabic, Arabic, is attraction towards women. So another category is that she's allowed to take her hijab off in front of men
that don't have any presence, attraction or understanding
about, you know, her beauty. So for example, like, he's got like memory issues, Alzheimer's or something, he can't remember anything. He's reached such an old tender age in his life. You know, the last thing that hits on his mind is just looking at a woman like he doesn't care. He's 90 something years old, he's sitting in a wheelchair, he's, you know, his mind is gone, his presence is gone. He doesn't even know his own children that well, you don't have to be in hijab in front of him. That's what Plato is talking about. So those are some of the exceptions. You'll be shocked how many Muslims don't know this.
They don't know this. So just keep that in mind.
I'll tell you a little better. I mean, originally, I will playfully lezzy in alemi of her who Allah or rotten Nisa,
or young children who cannot differentiate the privates of women. So we're talking about young children who can't tell the difference between male and female parts, right? Like they just don't know. They're, you know, three, four years old. And I think roughly the average age where you you stop that is maybe around five or six. That's when they start to get an understanding of what they're seeing. So anything prior to that, you know, so she can like nurse one of her babies in front of a three year old child of somebody else's kid, right? She can do that. Right? And she can take her hijab off and so because the kid doesn't know the difference, well, I'll do it in a B auto
Julie hinden le or lm ma your feed I mean, Xena Tina, and don't stomp your feet. Leola Mama, you feed them in zenity hidden them, so that people are able to see and listen to your beauty. You know, this whole area has been talking about what we see now Ally's going to talk to you about what you hear, when she wears those heels, or jewelry. And when she walks, all you hear is
and our brothers are sitting there and they just kind of look back and they're like, no, you're
just those noises, those sounds, that's what we're talking about here.
So defeating the whole purpose of the hijab, you're trying to eliminate as much attention as possible. So Allah also pays attention to what you listen to. Now before I conclude, inshallah, let's take a look at some more do we have to cover in front of lesbians, it's up to your discretion. Right so the scholars did talk about this as well and the discretion is up to you. But again, non Muslims particularly just have that additional sensitivity in the back of your mind. Just in case pictures are taking and things like that.
What to boy eat Allah He Jimmy are on au Menon, La La come to flee home. Such a beautiful way Allah ends off this a
and make Toba to Allah all of you a you help me non believers that perhaps in sha Allah you will attain, you will attain some level of success.
And that concludes at least this discussion, I like I said, Guys, there is so much to talk about here, there's so much you require an entire course. And as some of you probably know, I taught gender interaction in colleges and universities around the world, actually, not just here in Canada around the world have taught this course. And it's a 16 hour course that I teach just on the thick of the subject. And we're doing it in about an hour. So just to give you an idea of just how long and comprehensive the subject is. But my hope is that you can appreciate what these two verses stand for. And that you can find a balanced approach on this subject. It's okay so in conclusion, both men
and women, it's okay to speak to the opposite gender. It's okay to look at the opposite gender. But it's how you look and what you say is where you draw the line. And how you make those decisions has a lot to do with the society and culture you live in. But not we're not saying that society and culture now becomes the laws of Islam because the laws of Islam set parameters on
culture and society. So we can't just say in my culture, we hug all the time. In my culture, we kiss all the time. In my culture we date all the time is a lesson don't do those things.
Okay, so I hope that that makes sense. And if you still struggle with the subject, then understand, if you turn off the TV, if you bury your computer, if you put all kinds of, you know, protection for particular websites, that's all fine, but it will not solve the problem is this moment you step out of your house, you walk to a grocery store, you're going to see somebody dressed a certain way, act a certain way, somebody be extra friendly, extra touchy with you, and all of a sudden you're back to square one.
So what did we say?
This is an E man problem. It's not a desire problem. desire has something to do with it. But it's an A man problem, we'll pull in meaning.
This is you've got to work on your faith. And how do you do the prayer? What are the let's say we took the verse in Salta. Now when we did our tafsir suit at the knakal guys a lot So Joe says in the Lucha yen, and in fact shirt he will mooncup in a salata. 10 hair only fashionable good excuse me, right? In la sala de tener en el fascia you will monka Sala extinct extinguishes facture shamelessness.
That's what Sala does, it extinguishes these feelings that when you do see something Haram, it doesn't bother you. You can see it and you can just turn your face and keep walking. You can go to the mall,
can go to stores, nothing bothers you just pop in and you're out and you're good to go. That's what that's what this does. So, I hope and I pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala give us success and May Allah azza wa jal give us strength lahoma being tomorrow in sha Allah, Who tada we continue, and hopefully tomorrow we will get to where this particular sort of got its name from insha Allah hota Allah, may Allah azza wa jal accept all of your drives and return it to you 10 times more of lahoma I mean, the second Lohan I hope you guys appreciate what we did here today. See, how long did I speak for people? I don't even know.
I have no idea how to check that. But those of you that interacted and you asked questions, and you did all of that, I really appreciate that from all of you. And I hope we can do this. More and more that we can
interact, ask your questions, type, whatever you want, and Shannon will do our best to get to them and sift through them. Does that Molo hiren. Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh