Musleh Khan – Quranic Reflections #05 One Verse about Mental Health
AI: Summary ©
The importance of the verse "naught out of the heart" in the Quran on mental health is emphasized, as it is used to affirm the authority of Islam and show respect towards the prophet's wife. The speakers emphasize the need to be patient, reestablish a positive connection, and use words and practicing positive actions to be successful. The importance of showing respect and humor in conversations, as it can lead to feelings of sadness and frustration, and the use of negative language and small talk are also discussed. A follow-up session is also mentioned.AI: Transcript ©
Once again,
and welcome to everyone joining us online. Tahmid,
this is a good distance to keep the
mic. Is that okay? Oh. A bit further?
Sure. That's okay? Oh, yeah.
So last week, we started this verse. It
is truly one of the most remarkable verses
in the Quran on the topic or subject
of mental health.
This is obviously a verse that every Muslim,
especially student of knowledge, should know, should remember
if they can memorize even better. But you
should be aware of this verse. It is
the last and final two verses of
Surat Al Hijra.
And, like I said, it is a classic
verse that the ul Hammam have been talking
about and addressing with respect to
mental health and everything associated with it since
the time it was revealed to our messenger
Last week, we began,
and we basically went one word at a
time. So.
Is a word used throughout the Quran to
for emphasis.
It is part of the family of
Inafalem.
These are all words that are used to
emphasize. So whatever comes afterwards,
this is something that Allah
really, really wants to make very clear.
And the next word highlights the reason why.
Obviously,
we know, we understand, we have and bring
up the translation. So we certainly know. Now
from. Allah speaks in plural. We should all
know why at this point.
This could mean one of 2 things,
and they are both correct among scholars. The
first is that Allah refers to himself as
plural,
what we call, the royal plural.
This is to affirm the grandness,
the authority,
the status of him.
I'll give you another example.
If you ever meet a sheikh or a
sheikh and you want to ask how are
they in Arabic,
even though you're speak to you're speaking to
one person,
you would
say
or
But if you wanna show respect and honor,
you would use the plural. You're talking to
1 person,
but you use the plural.
So this plural is used in Arabic all
the time. So for honor, respect, and status.
So this is one way, one reason why,
or another is Allah is talking about 2
things.
The second is it's split into 2. When
Allah says we
certainly know, meaning I, Allah,
and the angels.
So I, the one who issues the command,
who one who issues the order, the one
who has authority,
and number 2,
those the angels
who
who,
what's the word I'm looking for?
Those who exercise and illustrate and do the
groundwork,
they
fulfill my
my command.
So I give the command, and they fulfill
my command. They execute my command.
So this is
the two main reasons why
Allah refers to himself in plural.
We certainly know that your heart is truly
distressed by what they say. So we dissected
a number of things.
The affirmation
that we know what's going on with you.
Last week, we mentioned that this is poor
Anne's way of saying
that I understand. I understand how you feel.
I understand your pain. I understand what you're
going through, even though you might not really.
Just to be able to be on the
same level and the same page and show
a little bit of that affection,
consideration,
understanding,
care,
You're not alone. All of that is attributed
to the intro of this ayah. So
The second thing is
is we know, we certainly know that your
heart is
truly distressed. The word that's used is this,
students.
This means,
you know when
we say that,
I I feel like I have butterflies in
my stomach?
When you feel, like, nervous,
when you're so scared or you're so,
anxious,
you can't eat or drink until you find
clarity,
That's called
in Arabic. Tightness. Yeah. This tightness,
you you feel restricted. You can't eat anything.
You can't swallow anything. You can't drink anything.
Sometimes you can barely talk because you're just
so filled with anxiety,
and it could be associated with other things
as well. So, yadeekhusadruk.
This is happening to the prophet alaihisattu wasalam.
You know what's amazing to me about this?
Is
it's actually happening to
the greatest
of Allah's creation.
He's feeling really
constrained,
alone.
He's feeling this sense of tightness,
fear.
Like, this aya
clearly paints for us the imagery of the
human side of our prophet alaihis salatu salsam.
It shows the human side of who he
is. He has the same feelings that you
and I do.
And then the word look look where it's
associated.
Literally means chest.
Why not heart? Isn't that where we usually
feel these emotions is in our heart?
Why does Allah says, oh, we we know
exactly what's going on in your chest, not
we know exactly what's going on in your
heart.
Does anybody have any thoughts why? Because the
the chest holds the heart, so a lot
of them seem to unload the heart.
Okay. Okay. That could be like a hard
breathing. Like, it's hard for you to breathe,
maybe.
Okay.
Okay.
Try not to look at it in a
literal sense.
Think more of the emotional side.
Why focus on the chest and not the
heart?
I think maybe because his heart is,
while his chest emotionally might be feeling all
these things with with constraint and loneliness,
his heart is up is pure and unaffected
by that. Okay. So this is more much
closer to where we want to arrive. Okay?
The the we say in Arabic. Right?
So you have the heart. As long as
the heart has faith, everything that's trying to
affect the heart,
steer the heart in the wrong direction, distract
the heart.
So shaitan, can he get into our hearts?
No.
He whispers
in the chest of people,
not their hearts.
Can't do that.
So sometimes when you're scared, that's one so
here's the point.
The focus on the chest is to keep
the 2 separate.
You might be
scared and emotionally afraid and stressed out,
but your heart is still strong and faithful
and trustworthy in Allah.
Does that make sense? You could be really
scared, devastated,
really anxious,
and still be able what Allah is indirectly
telling us here.
So this is this is the first word.
Indirectly telling us here that
the heart is one thing. The chest is
another thing. So your feelings are one thing.
And what contribute you to feel the way
that you feel, that's one thing. But that
does not necessarily have to hamper on your
faith,
on your and your reliance and your love
and your connection. It should not do that.
So this is one of the
the most detrimental
outcomes of, you know, mental health
is that,
you know, when it when it has the
when when it physically,
breaks you down, it emotionally breaks you down,
Those are one thing, but if it spiritually
get breaks you down to the point where
you start questioning
why Allah does this to me? Why does
Allah put me why Allah? How come Allah?
Why me? Allah? When you start asking those
questions,
it now
surpassed your chest and it's now tapping into
an area where it shouldn't.
The believers are able to protect their faith
in their heart. No matter how fearful and
how scared,
how anxious and how stressed
they may be, no matter what their surroundings,
their faith should never be shaken.
That is why now you should understand why
Ibn Khayyim and others, they wrote books on
why mental health is from shaitan.
It's a hard thing to say to today.
If you stop that sentence there, mental health
is from shaytan, nobody would ever listen to
what you have to say. They'll think you're
crazy.
But if you break it down the way
this what we mean by that is look.
Shaitan
can set up camp in your chest
and whisper to your heart and tempt you
and show it, but you can never step
inside.
So shaitan shares that playing field with depression,
anxiety, and mental, all of that. It shares,
but it's not the sole reason why it's
happening. He's not the primary reason or the
only reason
why somebody has mental health, but he is
certainly
part of that.
One of the traps of shaitan
is to make you feel anxious, to make
you feel scared, to make you feel sad
to the point where you start questioning.
Maybe this is not my life. Maybe, like,
you know, my salah is not really working.
It's my duas are not being accepted. And
and and and. That's all part of shaifan's
trap.
K? So
one last thing I'll mention mention to you
about this.
Have you ever,
heard when people say, like,
to stick to the subject? You know, sometimes
when you're talking to somebody going through problems,
it's really easy to get carried away and
start getting into all sorts of other conversations
that are irrelevant.
So somebody will be telling you, like, you
know, I lost my my my dad, you
know, or my mom,
and I've just been feeling so
stressed out, so sad, so emotional, and so
on. Right?
The whole their their lives are just rewinding
day and night. And the person they're talking
to might respond and be like, you know,
that's because,
you haven't been really good to them. You
know? You've been you haven't been the best
child. You've been pretty rude. Remember that one
time? And then, you know, we all heard
about it. We were talking about it at
the last birthday get together.
Like so this one conversation now
tapped into the last invitation to who heard
it, that it turned into a rumor. We
started talking about you. You were a terrible
child. So you start poking into things
that shouldn't like, that it's it's completely irrelevant.
Why are you talking why are you bringing
all of that up, those kind of responses?
The fact that Allah focuses on the chest
is indirectly teaching us as well. And Quran
is really good at this. All throughout the
Quran is like this,
that, stick to the subject, stick to the
problem. That's what makes a good counselor, by
the way.
I've never had any formal training in counseling.
The only book I've ever read, I say
this all the time, on counseling,
counseling
for dummies.
That's I've never studied. And, subhanallah, it is
80% of the work that I do.
Why? Because of a like this. Just kinda
sit there and zoom in to what's being
presented to you and focus just on that.
Don't be like, well, you know what, sister?
Before you start off talking to me, I
messed up your marriage is. Can you fix
your hijab?
You know? Okay. You don't first of all,
like, you're you're too loud. No. No.
No. Let it all unload.
Because I want to understand how you feel.
I wanna give you this moment to just
complain it all out. This is a lot
of pain that's been resonated in inside of
you. You need to just unload that way.
You know how they say words kill? It's
not.
It's not by what they do. It's by
what they?
Say. Words are more powerful, man.
So pray so here's the healing. And this
is where we'll conclude with and move on
to the next one. So
praise, glorify.
Everybody knows what is.
Here's my question to you. Why?
So
imagine yourself, you're sitting there and you're counseling
or even you yourself need this.
Why is Allah telling you, okay. Just praise
me and start making. Why? What does that
have to do with healing?
Would you agree that
moving the tongue
in Allah's remembrance
would ignite
something
in you?
Do you believe that there is benefit in
that?
Yeah. Has anybody ever been disappointed by praising
Allah or remembering him?
No. And just being patient
is a type of praise and glory because
you can be patient except
from. So the one the source of patience
has to make you patient and give you
the ability to be patient. That
patience comes from the source of patience. It
comes from Allah that instills in you. Because
a lot of people say, yeah. I know
I should be patient, but
and they just they can't do that.
So
tasbih here is not just about
glorifying and praising Allah.
It's about reaffirming
and reestablishing
the connection that's very vulnerable in the state
that you're in. It's a vulnerable state, man,
when you when you're going through mental health
struggles. That's a really vulnerable state.
So Allah is,
in a subtle way, just saying, okay, just
start saying tasbih.
Just start moving your lips.
Start moistening your tongue with my praise. Next.
Listen. What kind of praise do you do?
Do you
say,
Is that the kind of praise that or
is that the kind of
wants? Guide me. I'm so messed up. You
know, subhanallah. I'm gonna repent to you, but
I I I really messed up my life.
I'm terrible. I am Shaytan's buddy. I'm this.
I am Shaytan. No.
Listen to look. Listen to the eye. Look.
By praises.
What does Allah want you to focus on?
Alhamdulillah.
Just keep it positive.
Keep it real. Keep it positive.
You know, you never tell somebody who's going
through a mental health struggle, and you say
to them, look.
If you continue like this,
you know, we could be having your real
soon. Like, you need to stop.
Stop being so negative. You're being negative right
now.
In early training, you're taught
you're you're given a list of words you
never use when somebody's in an emotional
vulnerable state. You just don't use these words.
You don't use words like death, dying, kill,
hurt,
pain,
horror,
messed up, dumb, crazy, foolish.
You never use these kinds of words that
are just pessimistic
in and of themselves, or they might send
a very,
horrific and drastic picture that again, they're vulnerable.
You never know what they'll say, what they'll
do when they're out of your sight. So
Allah says, just keep it positive because everything
that you're going through right now I love
this part of the verse, by the way.
Because it says hammed,
it's Allah's way of saying, look. Whatever you're
going through, the fact that you can still
be positive, you're showing you're you're proving to
yourself that you have what it takes to
get through it.
Because after all you went through, you're still
positive?
You still think good about Allah?
Amazing.
3rd lesson is you're still connected to Allah,
which means that you cannot get through this
without him to begin with. So you're you're
revisiting
that principle.
I cannot get through this state, this this
problem, without Allah to begin with. I can't
forget that. And be one of those who
always pray. Now it's time to really put
things and and make them practical. Number 1,
and those who always pray. You know, everybody
sees this word. Why are we singling out
sajda? Why not say?
Be amongst those who are just praying. Why
is Allah singling out prostration
or sujood? Why do you think that is?
Just be close to in such time. Uh-huh.
So he wants us to talk to him.
Yeah. Just be close to him.
Amazing.
Just by the usage of that word, Allah
is saying, when you win sajda, that's the
closest you meet you are to me anyway.
You'll never be close to closer to me
in this world than a sajdah. That's why
they're, they say that, there's nothing in this
world
that is equal or even close to in
value than one sajdah.
So you know why I say that?
One of the mistakes that people make in
prayer
is you you ever notice that when
you're you're late for salah,
and then you miss the first rakar, and
the imam is in sudud, do you ever
notice, like, how some brothers and sisters will
stand and wait till they stand up again?
You ever notice that?
That's one of the biggest mistakes
of
to do that. When you come in for
prayer, jump right in. If it's at a
or one sages, jump right in. Because why?
Anything better than a on this planet?
No.
In existent, there anything better than a prostration
in this world? Nope.
So
This is the a subtle way of Allah
saying, listen. Now that you've got your life
back together, start moving your lips, you start
remembering, you start thinking of me in a
positive way, you start praying, you start changing
your life.
Listen. Don't just do this because you went
through this one problem. Make this your entire
life.
So worship Allah
until the inevitable comes your way. What's the
inevitable?
What is in this ayah, this word?
Death.
It's one of the words of death in
Quran.
Do you see why Allah says
That's not what Allah says. What
what did we say? Certain words
you just don't say.
You just don't say to somebody in an
emotional, vulnerable state. You just don't
use them. So the Quran is very clear
in a subtle way.
Look. I want you to just stay this
way, live this way, stay devoted for the
rest of your life. Questions before we go
on to next Surah or sorry. Next Ayah?
Let's go.
Number 4.
This is now
coming to
Surat
And it is verse number 110, which we'll
come to in a second. Okay?
So the next verse that we're looking at
that shapes
the way that we live, the attitude that
we have
is we've selected from Surah Al Hujarat
verse number 110.
Obviously,
the first point, just as an intro is
that,
this is, of course, a Medani Surah.
No difference of opinion on that. Number 2
is that the reference to the prophet's private
rooms is in verse 4. So Hujurat Hujurat
refers to a private room or space.
And in the Surah, it is referring to
the homes and the space of the wives
of the prophet, alayhis salatu, salam.
Each of them lived in a Hujura. Plural,
Hujurat.
Okay?
From the word or
which is like a rock or stone or
a mud rock. It obviously goes back to
the material used to build these structures. Okay?
It was revealed after,
Al Mujadila
and before Tahrim,
making it the 100 and 8th Surah revealed
to the prophet, alaihis salatu wasalam.
And it was revealed in the 9th year
after the Hijra. So So it's the 108th
revealed to him, but in order of the
Quran,
excuse me, it is the 108th Surah revealed
to him. But in the Quran anybody know
what Surah that is? I didn't,
for whatever reason, didn't write it down there.
Let me just give you the numbers so
that, you have that as your reference as
well. 49. Right?
Yeah. 49. Okay. So verse sorry. Surah number
49. But in terms of revelation,
somewhere around the 108th
Surah given to him. So why is this
important, by the way, to know that okay.
Somewhere around the 108th Surah revealed.
Why is that important?
What does that tell you immediately about Surat
Al Hujarat?
It's not the first or second Surah, so
it wasn't early priority
to the prophet,
which means that everything in this Surah
had to come later
before because a bunch of other things were
more important that needed to be established first
and foremost before we got to whatever this
Surah is talking about. Now here's a couple
of things to for you to know about
this Surah.
This Surah, if you summarize the entire Surah,
what it's focused on is respect for all
of humanity,
all of mankind.
The the the
prime theme
is
or respect,
period.
It starts off with respect to Allah,
and then it immediately focuses on respect to
the prophet, alaihis
salam. So it starts saying that you never
ever walk in front of the prophet, alayhis
salaam.
Like, don't walk in front of him, sallallahu
alayhi wasalam. So if he was alive, you'd
never be in front of him just kinda
looking back.
Yeah. Sheikh, prophet, you know, I have a
question. You don't do that.
You know, it's unfortunately,
it's a lost discipline
with scholars in this day and age. Right?
Now
the Sahabism,
the Tabiroun,
early scholars, and then still, you know,
it's still practiced in certain parts of the
world. When you see a scholar or a
sheikh, you
go to them and seek their knowledge.
They never go to you.
They they never
find students or look for they never do
that.
It should never be like that.
Right?
As long as you are a student
hungry for their, you go and you search
and find that.
You never doesn't come and look for you.
That's part of the respect. So that's why
is like,
just always remember, you are behind this man
because you are constantly chasing his guidance.
You're constantly chasing his knowledge
and all of his direction.
You have to so it is certainly a
sign of respect.
The another verse in Surah Al
Hujarat,
Don't
raise your voice above the voice of the
prophet, alaihis salatu sallam. How do you practice
that ayah today, by the way?
How do you practice that verse? Don't raise
your voice
above the voice of the prophet
How would you practice that?
Don't be shouting at anyone.
Having etiquette in the halakhara,
let the reshape finish first.
Well, the AS says don't
raise your voice.
So interruption and so on, that's those are
other verses, other surahs.
Don't interrupt. Be respectful to the knowledge and
so on. This one specifically
mentions,
don't raise your voice.
It's like this.
Do people argue,
like, Islamic subjects?
What are you talking about?
I never said what kind of Islam? That
sort of thing.
That's,
disrespect to the knowledge.
And if the prophet
heard
people
using ayat or his statements
with that tone of voice and that volume,
he would be displeased with it.
Even if you're upset,
you don't
I I hate to use this word, but
it's just to to make the point clear.
We don't bark
ayaatan hadith to anyone. We don't do that.
This is why, for me, personally,
I am
I don't wanna say
it's wrong. I am uncomfortable
when people do street, and they're arguing their
way. They're arguing their point.
I don't have the problem with the street,
but when you're getting into this shouting match
back and forth
and you go in with the mindset
of destroying
your opponent or questioner,
that goes against every purpose behind the Quran
and the prophet
You're never gonna find 1 hadith or prophet
arguing with anybody, like Islam
arguing a hadith. He he doesn't. There isn't
even a darif hadith of him arguing Islam
to anybody, arguing averse to anyone.
So, like, that tells a lot. And then
you you look at that from a bird's
eye view, and then you come to verses
like this. It should
really, remind us and show us that there's
a certain
respect and honor.
Just talking about this religion,
it has a certain etiquette, and one of
those etiquettes
is you don't
shout out and argue and start, you know,
barking away at it and. That's not the
purpose. This stuff is sacred. This stuff came
from the sky. It came from the above
the 7th the 7 heavens. It became from
above the.
It came from him
So the volume and tone of our voices
matter. You know, it's one thing when you
tell your kid,
listen and just pay attention. Okay? As opposed
to listen.
Just pay attention. Okay?
See the difference?
Same exact words.
Tone of voice speaks volumes.
So
this is one of the or at least
some of the things that are mentioned. Obviously,
they're yet about backbiting.
They're yet about people who carry news and
how to verify that news.
You know, when somebody comes to you with
news, clarify this stuff.
You know, the news carrier, what are they
calling Quran?
What are they this is why Surat Al
Khuzar. If you've never done tafsir of the
Surah,
you will never have complete etiquettes with people.
What is the word that Allah used to
describe somebody who's like, hey. Listen, man. I
just heard something.
Just keep it between us, but
like the stuff that people do every day.
Allah calls them a fasik,
an inherently
corrupt individual.
Just because what? They're like, listen, I just
heard so and so. It's crazy. I can't
believe they're like they didn't verify nothing. They
just heard it. They saw it online. See
here that. See how he look look what
he's doing. Look at his face. Look how
he dressed. Look where he was. Oh my
god. I saw him this. I saw her
there.
Just hearsay.
But it turned into a rumor, and it
was carried and transferred from one person to
another. Allah says the people who are involved
that are doing that, Allah calls them these
are people who are corrupt,
inherently corrupt. Why? Because all they're doing is
just causing problems.
Right? And, you know, when you're an imam
or a, yeah, you you get reminded of
that pretty much every day. So, yeah, news
carrying is certainly
well and alive in our,
let alone in society.
This is the verse that I've chosen for
you.
Love this verse. And I was and you're
gonna see why I chose this verse. Let's
break it down. K? Of the verses that
shape your life, verse number 110 of Surat
Al Hujarah, Surah number 49.
Oh, people of Iman, believers.
So we've already talked about all people of
Iman. You know who Allah is talking about.
You know who they are. Do not let
some men ridicule others. Now let's break this
down and understand.
This is the subject of the, mocking,
making fun of, and doing it in a
way to put them down and belittle them
and make them feel small and irrelevant.
Make them feel the,
the the point of laughter
and ridicule.
So everybody takes that individual
as the big joke in that setting.
This word that is used to describe mod
to mock or to ridicule is this word,
That's the word that's called in Arabic. You
see it here?
To make fun of, to laugh, to mock,
to embarrass, to put down.
Now let's go back to this. Mocking does
not only imply mocking with the tongue, but
it also includes mimicking somebody.
You know? Dude, look at the way this
person walks, and look at their arm, how
it how it swings. That's that's also,
making pointed references to him.
And he's just like, oh my god. Look
at them. Look at them. Look how they
look how they look when they walk into
the room. That sort of that's called sukhria.
Laughing at their words, their accent, the way
they talk, the way they pronounce something. You
know,
I'm West Indian, So I have,
1st class access, VIP access to criticize and
talk about my own people. Because
in essence, I'm talking about who? I'm talking
about myself. Right?
You know,
my daughter was watching a talk of a
West Indian speaker,
and he had this strong West Indian accent.
And one of the things that's very common
amongst West Indians is when they they'll say
words like character,
they don't say character.
Yeah. She knows what I'm talking about. Right?
They say
character.
West Indians, they means nothing. We just look
yeah.
But to, like, that born bred Canadian,
that's that's the when they hear that, they're
like so my daughter's like,
daddy, what's correct there?
Like, what does that even mean?
And I had to literally sit there and
explain it to her.
But then I explained to her. I said,
look. You know? It's how they grew up.
It's how they pronounce it, the accent, all
of that stuff. But, see, us, we understand
what they're saying. It's not a big deal.
But the point here is this,
not from her, but I've heard it to
before
where people in the Khutbas and song when
the Khatib says and pronounces a word in
a certain way, I've heard it.
The the the little giggle, the little smirk.
That's laughing at his words.
So you don't even have to point out
the words you just heard that you're laughing
at. Your reaction
when you're speaking
and somebody laughs,
that alone, that's called.
So subtle, it's a big deal in the
sight of Allah. Look. Or his works or
his appearance or his dress or calling people's
attention to some defect or blemish in him
so that others may laugh at him. So
Sukhria
only works because this is the goal. So
make sure you highlight that.
Sukhria
only happens, and it counts as mocking
if this is the goal, for you to
just get a laugh out of it or
to get others to laugh about
it. K?
Yeah. Sorry. It has to be done in
front of them. Sometimes No. For a minute
behind. Oh, yeah. That's fine?
It all counts as Sukhria.
Front of them or not.
Don't worry.
We are all
guilty of this in some way, shape, or
form, including myself.
Like, that's how prevalent
and
a norm this has become,
not in society in life.
The believer is at least the bare minimum
conscious of this.
And let me tell you,
when you're conscious of this, when you're talking
about people or making any sort of reference
to them,
you'll be shocked. It will shock you. I
promise you. It will shock you how often
you realize you've been doing it, and you've
never realized you've been doing it. It'll it'll
shock you. Oh my god. I do this
so often, and I've never paid attention to
it. How I refer to people, you know,
how I remember them, how I talk about
them, that it all comes back to sukhiyah.
You know? When I will like, if once
upon a time you referred to somebody who's
like, yeah. You know that brother with a
funny accent?
You know that sister with those, like, the
strange walk or the limp?
That's all sukhya.
Because the person who's it's either you or
the person listening to you, they're like, yeah.
I remember that.
Yeah. Walk is so funny. Yeah. What about
them? Yeah. I just love the way they
read Quran. Okay. You
you you you started off pretty bad.
You're talking about their Quran. Yeah. You started
off pretty bad. So see how Islam is
so complete? So this is about respect.
You know, the ulema, they said there's a
way for you to test yourself if you
have in you. Okay?
Is to be around people who are, you
know, physically disabled,
who are struggling with mental health.
And if you are around, like, somebody who's,
you know, with, you know, down syndrome or
something,
you And then they're just kinda saying that,
you know, they're drooling or something. They they
can't move their arms properly, or they're walking
around in circles, and they're doing whatever it
is that they're able to do.
And to test yourself how you react at
that very moment, your initial first reaction when
you see it or hear it. If you're
like, oh my god.
Or as opposed to, oh,
or
and you're looking at your phone.
Oh my god. Screw. Don't don't laugh. Don't
make them see. Or
you know, the sunnah when you see that
is you say,
Just test yourself.
When you see somebody
go in a mall, grocery store, and how
you initially
that first initial reaction,
the scholars they say is about
70%
of who you are.
They're saying
that you can determine
70 to 80% of somebody's personality
with the first three minutes of conversation
with that individual.
You can you can tell if they're sincere,
if they like you, if they're being genuine,
if they actually care what you're saying, if
they're paying attention to you, if you matter,
all of these things in the first 3
minutes.
Put it to the test.
If, you know, I get it all the
time. Like, what's your name? My name is
Mosley. Oh,
what's your last name? Khan.
So, mister Khan no. No. No. My name
is Mosley,
and you're gonna practice that until you get
her. Because
in in the Arabs have a statement where
they say that that's one of the first
signs that you can assess if somebody actually
is genuine with you is they take the
time to remember and know how to say
your name and pronounce it prop and remember
it.
K? Instead of, sir,
hey. Great to see you, imam. That
no.
Those little subtle things, they go a real
long way in painting, you know, a personality.
You were gonna ask something? Yeah. Sorry. The
social media now is just normal to, you
know, let me scroll and watch Yeah. Videos
of, in Korean
Yeah. Of
celebrities. I mean, it's a
final. What I would say to you is
this.
You know, it's one thing when you're looking
for
when you're looking for something out of just
enjoyment and laughter,
and it's coming at the cost of supporting
a channel that lives off of as
opposed to just scrolling and you just happen
to see a video like, wow. That's
that must have hurt, but it'll it looked
funny. Moving on.
So it's one thing
if you see it,
and it's another thing when you're sitting and
watching it. Does that make sense?
It's just like music.
It's one thing the sharia makes a distinction.
It's one thing when you hear it.
It's another thing when you're
listening to it. K?
Go to the grocery store. You can't be
like, oh my god. I believe music is
hot on, so how am I gonna go
buy my apples?
I'm gonna go do
no. You can hear
it. You can see a ton of things.
You see it. That's it.
But don't just make it a point like,
oh my god. I love this channel. Love
these videos. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. Sit there because
why? When you watch this stuff and they're
the the numbers go up, the views go
up,
and now somebody on the other side of
that is really benefiting and their channel progresses.
And, you know, a lot of cases, they
even profit and make money off of your
time. So just wanna be cautious of those
things.
What do we have there? Okay. So why
is this a problem? Creates a sense of
superiority above others,
potentially hurts others without them knowing. This is
a huge, huge, huge one.
Creates mischief and insensitivity
towards people's feelings.
Ibn Mas'ud had skinny legs. One day, he
climbed a tree.
And why does he climb a tree? You
know, sometimes when I tell this story, some,
you know, comments that pop up online from
Rand, I don't know who they are. They
seem like some of them are Muslims, but
it could be trolls. I don't know. They're
like, oh, why would a Sahabi
climb a tree? Like, what are we trying
to say about them?
Listen.
You have to put yourself
in the middle of the desert
1400
years ago.
No buildings.
Shade
is absolutely rare.
If you've ever been in Saudi,
a cloud
is like a miracle from Allah to just
see a cloud coming
inching towards the sun. You start
GPSing that cloud. You're just like, okay.
Flow to the left just a little bit.
Keep going, and then it just
banks on a bit of shade, and you
take it in for that moment. The prophet
did he have a cloud above him? All
the time, Allah sent a special cloud to
follow him
everywhere he went. Why? Because not only is
he a prophet of Allah,
he needs shade.
The sun is just overwhelming. So when you
didn't have a cloud, when you didn't have
a little shed to go under
a tree or
you found this rare moment where you saw
a tree with a couple of leaves that
survived the desert heat.
You can just kinda sit in under sit
under that shade. You couldn't sit under the
tree at the base. Why not? Does anybody
know why? If you know a little bit
of desert life, why can't you just sit
at the base of the tree on the
floor?
At least back then in the middle of
the desert. Why you can't do that? It's
really warm.
It's warm,
but there's something under you What's that?
That's tomato No. No. No. In the desert,
there's something underlying
scorpions,
lizards,
snakes,
bugs.
They're all buried in the sand. That's how
they survive. They stay cool by doing what?
By burying themselves in there. That's why it's
extremely,
extremely
dangerous
to randomly walk in the middle of a
desert just because, oh my god. It's a
beautiful sand. Let me just rub my feet
through it. You might rub it to something
that, you didn't know existed that's living in
there. Okay?
So,
you know, he's sitting on the street. He's
just relaxing.
It was a windy day, nice cool breeze,
and it it it lifted his garment up
and exposed his legs a little.
We would refer to legs like that as,
like, chicken legs. Yeah. He's, like, really skinny
legs. You know, the companions when they started
to they started laughing at him.
If you don't know who this person is,
is
the one companion
that
walked and had the posture
closest,
almost identical to the prophet alaihis salaam.
So when he would walk,
he he he's the kind of person, you
know, when you walk and you have to
look back again, and you're like, is that
the prophet? Oh, no. No. No. That's, yeah,
that's Ibn Mas'ud. It's kinda that.
And he and then the the the crazy
thing is he trained himself to do that.
He wasn't naturally born
to mimic the posture and the walk.
He trained himself to do it this way
out of love for him, sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam. Right?
And,
he was a midget as well. So he's
extremely small, skinny,
frail,
but he is one of the 4 that
was trusted
for the knowledge of the Quran. Ibn Mas'ud
said
that there isn't anything about a verse
except that I know it, meaning a background,
the history, the setting, why it was revealed,
who it was revealed to, what was happening,
the time of the day, where the prophet
was, if he was alive, if he passed
away,
excuse me, if he was alive and the
setting behind on that when he passed away,
when he was alive. And then he says,
if I heard that somebody had knowledge of
a verse and I didn't have knowledge of
it, I would travel and find that person
and learn what they know.
That's Ibn Mas'ud. Prophet alaihis
salatu wasalam heard that these companions were laughing
at his legs. And he says, you see
those two legs up there? They're heavier than
the mountains of Uhud on the day of
judgment.
Anybody here been to Medina?
Yes. Yeah. So if you've been to Medina,
if you haven't,
inshallah,
you will go and you will visit the
plains of Uhud, and you will see the
mountains of Uhud. The mountains of Uhud are
the largest and the biggest
mountains of all of Medina.
You you will see them
any corner of Medina you're at. You will
always see the mountains of Uhud. And, obviously,
though they are the mountains of Jannah,
you know, these mountains love us and we
love it.
All of these things are based on authentic
hadith and,
yeah, ibn Mas'ud, his legs surpassed the weight
and the status of those mountains.
Why does Allah why does the separate male
and female? So let's go back to the.
Break it down.
So now you know
what's.
The first intro of the ayah, Allah is
talking to
the nails,
and they ridicule others so that one may
be better than the other.
Allah repeats the exact same ayah, but then
what does he do? He speaks to the
women, to the females,
nor let some women ridicule other women.
They may be better than them.
Why separate the 2?
Male to female and female to female. Why
separate the 2?
Why can't I just say all believers
don't do this to each other?
Why split the 2
from male male male to male and female
to female?
Why do you think that is?
Yep. Maybe because the way we ridicule each
other is different. Like, females, we kinda do
it at a time. No. You're absolutely right.
So why not just one generic message to
everybody? Just don't do it. Whether you're doing
it to each other or it's different or
just don't do it at all.
Why not one generic command? Why separate the
2?
Why do you think the Quran does that?
Okay. So
one of the reasons why is
goes back to what you were saying that
from male to male,
sometimes it's different,
the language, the approach. Sometimes what is offensive
from one male to a male isn't to
a female to a female and vice versa.
So sometimes a male you know, his wife
may come home and be like, yeah, these
it's just man. They were saying this, this,
and this. They were laughing.
The mail will
be like, why is that a big deal?
Like, you're you're actually upset about that? That
sort of thing.
Secondly is it's all about building a support
network for each other.
Sisters
should and must respect
and eliminate or at least not participate in
any
amongst other sisters.
And very often, what happens in one group
will never be heard or known to the
other.
So sometimes
what is
amongst the sisters
is not even in in existence of
amongst the brothers.
Like, they just don't care.
It's not even a thing. So
one one
simple example is, like, oh my god. She's
wearing this I have the exact same hijab
at home.
Brothers never be like, oh my god. He's
wearing the same hat like the one I
have at home.
You know, his his buttons are the same
color as my soap buttons. No. We don't
care. It's not a big thing.
Right? It's not a big, and then you'll
see brothers always wearing white clothes, white clothes,
white clothes. Right? Not we don't care.
But maybe,
you know, that could be an issue. Oh
my gosh. She's wearing the exact same outfit.
She probably ordered from the exact same website.
Oh my lord. This is so embarrassing.
Mom, let's go sit in that corner over
there so nobody sees us together.
So
why this happens is that
it's it's for both the sides to pay
attention to the sensitivities
that are exclusive to both ends.
Right? Amongst the sisters alone as opposed to
amongst the brothers alone. Right?
So it is the same command. This is
the same idea,
but this is there are some subtleties
amongst
both crowds.
Allah still wants us to address it.
Don't think that just because it's amongst the
sisters or amongst the brothers that it's not
a big deal to one another. When I
hear it from amongst the sisters, it should
bother me if I was there amongst the
sisters, and it was it should bother me
the same way. And I should never ever
think that, oh, well, you know, you guys
have a problem. Figure it out. No.
K? It should disturb you, and I should
be able to address that and so on.
Wala Telmizoo and Fusay. So we're done with
sukhria.
Here's the next part of the ayah, which
is another big problem, subhanAllah,
amongst people.
Well, tell me, zoo.
Tell me, though, from the word,
this word right here
is this this is the definition.
Find a flaw in somebody, whether it's true
or not,
in order to be to refer to them
in a condescending way. So
so even if it's true,
let's just say that,
I don't know.
Somebody asks you something and it's really, like,
obvious. Right?
And you say just, oh my god. I'm
such a fool. I should
have known that.
That's
like
like, even if that's true, don't say that
about yourself.
Like, it's not a nice thing to say
about yourself because
like we've
established earlier on is that words go a
long way
even if you're not paying attention to it.
Just the fact that you muster up and
verbalize those words,
it can go a long way. And if
it doesn't go a long way with you,
somebody else might hear about it, and it
can go a long way with them. That's
Lemizah.
These
are some of the things that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala has. Let me just I I
made some notes on this, so let me
just bring it up here as well.
Okay. So
that's with
respect to or.
Here it is. Okay. I'm sorry. I thought
Yeah. Constructive
criticism.
If you're gonna tell them, like
Once it's constructive, that's fine.
Because constructive criticism
comes with a goal of educating,
you know, trying to point out
a mistake or a flaw in a respectful
way.
Otherwise, it wouldn't be constructive.
Right?
So that's perfectly okay, and that is something,
of course,
or
or, encouraged in
them.
Also is to
take somebody's
confidence away.
So if somebody's talking and they're just telling
you that it was like, man, yesterday, I
was
watching TV, and I just fell asleep. You
know, I was watching a basketball game, and
it's so boring.
Right? And you're like, man, dude, you got
no life too. What would you try to
read? What what do you do for fun?
Just talking to someone
in a condescending way to making them feel
that
what they enjoy doing,
you don't,
but you make it a point to put
them down and make them feel dumb,
low, irrelevant,
or they're missing out on something really important
in life
that, you know, they don't find interesting, but
all of us do. Like, I I bring
up the game thing because,
you know, once upon
upon a time, couple 100 years ago when
the Raptors were good,
Remember the when people used to talk about
how, man,
you gotta watch these games. They're amazing. They're
exciting. They became champions eventually.
Like, I could never
find myself sitting in front of a screen
for 4 hours watching. I just couldn't do
it.
And I remember telling, like, some friends
about that, and they would like, really, man?
What do you do with your time? Like,
they just couldn't
fathom and and comprehend. How could you not?
This is the most exciting time. I'm like,
yeah. It's cool. I got a raptors T
shirt. I mean, it's whatever. It's all good,
but I just can't find myself doing it.
I need to go find something else to
do a little bit more useful with my
time.
The point is that response,
that's tell me, Zoom.
What are you starting to see about this
AI?
It's starting to point out what
about ourselves
and people around it. What is it pointing
out?
It's pointing
out, for the most part, the things that
most people don't pay attention to.
Who pays attention to this stuff?
We just talk smack. Just talk well, yeah.
Is usually used
this word, when you say, this is my
lakob,
is usually used for good names.
Right?
And nabaza,
this word is usually used to refer to
hurtful or bad names.
Allah puts both of them because they can
both they're both hurtful even if it's a
good name. So
I'm gonna really I don't know if I'll
get in trouble with my West Indian counterparts.
Well, you know, my West Indians,
we are so awesome at giving nicknames to
people.
Like, I remember I I met a brother.
His name was Cookie.
What do you want me I nobody knew
his name, which was the sad part. And
we just call him gay, Cookie, Cookie. Another
person,
his name was some kind of drink.
I don't even remember what the drink was.
But
the point is,
these names, they may not necessarily be linked
to something bad,
but because the name got stuck on them,
even if it's good, and people started referring
to you as that,
it's one thing you see, one of the
qualities of a nickname
is that it should never feel like that's
your permanent name. So be careful when people
say, yeah. Yeah. My name's Ahmed, but people
just call me, you know,
doorman. I don't know. I just some random.
People just know me as doorman, so just
call me doorman. No. I'm not gonna call
you doorman.
Like, I've even met brothers who are their
names are, like, Mohammed and Ahmed and, you
know, Saleh.
And they'll literally they'll be like, yeah, but
everybody knows me as Alex
or Al.
Your name is Saleh.
Well, we're just gonna call you brother Al.
Like, it's
that's
even if it's good. Be careful. Yeah. What
about, like, a bit rare of, like, the
this yeah. The love of it. It's it's
about
Yeah.
Why did it why did it stick?
Like, why did it remain
Abu Hurairah?
Somebody confirmed it. Who was it?
Somebody was okay with this name.
Prophet. Prophet alaihis salaam. Because why I say
this?
There were companions that had names. The prophet
himself changed it from them. Said your name
has a bad reference or meaning,
So change it to Abdul Hakim,
Abdullah,
then prophet
will say the best and most beloved name
to Allah
from naming your children or yourself is which
one?
Abdullah.
Abdullah is the most beloved name that you
can use that's why it's one of the
most common names.
Right? Obviously, Muhammad,
Abdul Rahman. And what the scholars took from
these hadith is all the names
that have the names of Allah with them
are considered the most beautiful and beloved names
that we use to name, you know, our
children and so on,
in the sight of Allah.
So that's why you you kinda, really, you
know,
admire people like Sheikh Abdul Hamid and his
sons.
I think they're all Abdul something. There's a
Abdulrahman.
There's a Abdul this and a every one
of them is like this.
Right? And, you know, those are things are
not just done accidentally. They're done intentionally because
of that. Right?
But the point here is this, nicknames,
it's one thing when you have them just
for fun, that's no big deal. But people
always know
who you are and your name is still
the name that is most common common amongst
the people. That's
that's
fine.
So let's finish this up.
You know, one of the ones I get
a lot.
Sorry. Going back to this
Like, when people
say, like, ah, big sheikh's coming in the
room. That's.
I'm not I'm not saying you should call
me a sheikh or mister or anything, but
the point is, you see, that tone of
voice,
that's.
Can't do that. Even though you're technically saying
something okay, it's not necessarily
disrespectful. See the tone? See how it sounds?
Oh, this guy who thinks he's a real
Sheikh Al Imam or thinks he's the next.
Can't do that.
Cannot do that. It's,
obviously, Allah
is ordering us against it. Okay.
Also just I have a couple notes here.
I'm just throwing it to you for those
of you that are writing. Too much joking.
That's a no that that can get annoying
when when you talk to somebody and you
can't get, like, 5 sentence without 3 of
them as just a joke.
Hey.
So what's going on?
I don't
know. Come back late. Like, just what's going
on? Like, how are you? But it's gotta
be, like, a joke.
And it could be the littlest things. Like,
so you eat anything? No. I've been fasting
all day. You've been joking. I just haven't
eaten the last half hour, but it feels
like all like, people who just
cannot be straight for 5 minutes,
too much of that, Yeah. It's actually ordered
against
highlights, and it includes the exact same thing.
What's what what is the problem with all
of this, by the way?
What if somebody says, what's the big deal?
I just like having fun. I like making
people laugh.
What's the big deal?
I think usually, like, it it it stems
from, like, a deep rooted insecurity
if someone always makes a joke. And so
if you, as a friend who knows them
for a long time,
knows that it does stem from that and
they are kind of, like, seeking help,
then you kind of know how to deal
with them. Okay. Okay.
Is it wise to always
feed into that insecurity? And just be like,
wow, man. Every time I need a laugh,
I just gotta come and spend 3 seconds
with you, and I'm good.
Or, like, ultimately behind all of that,
somebody who turns everything and anything into a
joke.
In essence,
would you agree or disagree? Is it
challenging or tough to take that person seriously?
So it starts to remove
what's the what's the central theme of the
Surah? What's the word that we used? Respect.
Yeah. You start you start losing respect.
Not for just that person,
but just when they're around, like, oh my
god. This is big the joker's in here
now.
You know, I've been to a couple of
workshops. Not not a couple. I've been on
a bunch, but there's a few of them
where a lot of the shirk and imams
from all over the city will come in
will come in for training for something.
But then there's this one like imam
or this one like person.
Everybody's focused. They're watching the slides. They're taking
notes. They're asking a little joke, a little
humor here and there.
Again, back to
accept this one.
Anytime he's called upon
to answer a question, starts off with a
joke, old joke about, like, an animal or
something you saw in National Geographic, and we're
talking about, like, the fiqh of Woldor or
something. Right? And they'll throw in these random
things, and it came to a point and
I, subhanallah, I saw it.
Like, at one point, it wasn't funny anymore.
And,
I saw it, subhanahu, when he made another
joke and I looked around,
I could see the other shoe. They're just
like,
stop.
Just put their head down this way.
It immediately
removes respect very quickly.
People stop taking you seriously.
That's why one of the first ways of
becoming an effective
speaker
and effective in conversation that others will listen
to and respect what you're saying is saying
as you speak
little.
Watch interviews
of just random people and watch those who
one word answers, 2 words, and that's it.
So how was your career in the last
20, you know,
20 years playing basketball?
10 championships. How was it?
I'm grateful.
I suppose, so well. You know, when I
first came in the league, man, it was
amazing. Everybody was just loving me. It's got
so much support. Then when I won the
1st championship, I celebrated with my wife and
kids and, oh my gosh,
as opposed to grateful.
And you'll see how quickly,
less words,
the amount of respect it demands.
Just try.
You'll see for yourself.
Let's finish this. Yeah. Go ahead. We all
love to have, like, a sense of humor
and creativity. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Everything has a
limit, though. Break the ice? Yeah. Yeah. Oh,
everything has a limit, though. So breaking the
ice is absolutely bad. Nobody's saying that we
should be a bunch of depressed believers everywhere
we go. We're just a bunch of unhappy
people who never smile. No.
Prophet did he smile?
He he's muktasen. Loving muktasen.
Did you do you know how one companion
described his smile?
You could see his molar teeth.
Do you know where the molar teeth the
molar tooth is? It's all the way at
the back.
I don't even know how to smile
that big
to show my molar teeth.
I don't even know how to do it.
I try to sometimes in the mirror, and
I look really, like, strange. I think I
start laughing at myself
for how I'm trying to laugh. Like, I
I look funny to myself.
So the process of to shows he had
a big smile. And here's the amazing part,
prophet alaihis salatu wasalam,
everywhere he went,
always had a smile.
And it's not like, you know, every now
and then you see, like, these unhappy Muslims.
This is this is like, what are you
doing, man? This is coming from a genocide.
We just celebrated Eid. You know? Like, what
are you doing? Yeah. This is just it's
some Muslims are just like that.
I love this word. Excuse me. This a
and what it's addressing, the words that it's
addressing.
All the youngsters will ask questions like, is
there anything in the Quran about swearing?
Although, I didn't say you can't swear. Yeah.
Names that are disgusting,
that are nasty,
dirty,
rude,
condescending,
wrong, insulting.
That's all.
Biksa.
Biksa is like despicable
any names of any kind of words.
So bad words
still coming out of their mouths
after they have iman.
You know, sometimes,
you know, people when they're talking
just like that 4 letter word is part
of their conversation and just like, I'm sorry.
I grew up like that. It's just I
used that word.
No, man. You have iman now. Like, stop.
You can't you can't do that.
The people of iman
don't talk this way. Know what some of
the scholars they say? They say that how,
one of the signs you know somebody has
a
close relationship with the Quran,
they have
and focus in their salah.
They are people of Dua.
In other words,
they are people that are constantly using their
voices and their tongues and their lips
in constant repetition of Quran, dua, alqar, salah,
tasbih, all of these things
is
the
the the choice of words in their conversations.
And in essence, what they're saying is that
they don't curse
ever about anything.
When they get frustrated, they didn't just they
never have this, like, slip up. Oh,
they don't ever do that.
Oh, subhanallah is what comes out instead.
They never ever slip up. And by the
way,
I'm not I promise you I'm not saying
this because by experience. Right? I'm not saying
this.
I've never in my life had a problem
with using backwards. Never.
But I have learned and I've been around
just like a lot of us probably. We've
been around people who do this.
This requires
a lot of
focus and training.
Like, it's not easy to shut off bad
habits.
It takes some time.
So sometimes when somebody says, they're like, oh
my god. I said it. I'm sorry. Sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm trying to work on
it. I'm working on it.
That's perfectly okay. But the point is the
believer
is very much conscious of the fact that
as long as I carry this e man,
these are the things that should never manifest
out of my mouth because it's a reflection
of what's in my heart. Okay?
So and then, you know, some of the
youngsters, they they try to get clever.
What the fudge?
Yeah.
What are you implying? Everybody knows. You could
say what the fudge all day. Everybody knows
what we could replace that word with. Right?
So it's it's interesting. I'm glad you all
are here because they could see your reactions.
You know what I'm talking about. And so
that's great because you can recognize
it so you know. That's. So even if
you're not really saying it, like, I switched
the word.
You know? Well, it's a big deal. No.
We all know what could have been there.
So it's not the etiquettes of a believer,
particularly with the same tongue that pronounces the
Quran and dhikr. We pause
there
is
the conclusion,
and whoever does not repent, it is they
who are the true wrongdoers.
So,
we have 2 more sessions.
Next week, I want to get into,
the famous verse in Surat Al Hujarat.
That verse
That verse is
will require some discussion, so
don't be surprised that that verse, we do
it next week, and it carries on to
the final session a little bit. And then
I have one last final
it's a very small ayah that I'll conclude
with for the year. And it's kind of
like my farewell for the year ayah to
you So stay tuned for that. But, yes,
2 more sessions and we will conclude for
the year. So with that being said, we
pray that Allah continue
to steer and shape our lives around the
teachings of the Quran and the sunnah.
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