Musleh Khan – Life #23 Gender interaction – What’s the limit
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of avoiding fitna in sex conversations, and advises to avoid causing unnecessary embarrassment by being too busy talking about personal issues. The speaker also emphasizes the need to protect one's identity by limiting interactions and being respectful of their deeds.
AI: Summary ©
Gender interaction,
what is the limit?
This is a very common question and you
might have heard various
answers depending on where you live. So let's
make it very clear and easy Insha'Allah.
When it comes to gender interaction,
talking to the opposite gender or interacting with
them,
the first rule of thumb is that it
is
completely
permissible and okay.
The issue is
to how far does that permissibility
extend? So let's go to the Prophet alaihis
salatu wasalam. In Mecca and Medina throughout his
entire prophethood,
women used to come to him, they would
learn, They would ask questions. They would have
concerns and they would have them addressed
directly from the Prophet alaihis salatu wasallam.
The point here is
there was a need, there was a clear
issue that came from the women, and they
needed an answer or direction from the prophet
alaihis salatu wasalam.
He then would respond to them. He wouldn't
say, look stand this far away from me,
go behind that wall or talk to another
companion,
they will pass on the message to me.
He would speak to them directly and we
have several narrations of that.
But here is the golden rule:
wherever
you are,
whatever culture you live in, here is the
golden rule when it comes to gender interaction:
avoid
fitna.
Avoid putting yourself in a situation where your
iman is tested.
Now that varies from one place to another.
Sometimes our iman can be tested
when there's an unnecessary
conversation that starts. So here you are, you're
sitting, you're talking about a project,
you're talking about a particular event, you're trying
to put ideas together and create this event.
Within the conversation, it goes sideways and you
start talking about life, you start talking about
personal issues.
That's the way you need to be careful.
You don't want to put yourself in a
situation where your iman is now put to
test because all of that could be avoided.
And this is why
Allah says, don't
even come close to Zina. Now I know
Zina is an extreme
situation,
but listen to the Ayah.
Allah says don't get close to it.
What scholars did is they explained that and
what that means
don't get
involved
in the things that ultimately
will lead you to this.
So whether it be an unnecessary
conversation,
an unnecessary
smile,
the point here is
try to keep your interaction
to the point.
You can be respectful,
you can be kind,
smiling is from the sunnah so you don't
have to be this grumpy Muslim that doesn't
want to have any interaction with anybody. You
can certainly have the best etiquettes a Muslim
should have, but at the same time
remember that our deen has parameters.
It has certain rules to follow and it
has certain
limitations.
Keep those limitations
in mind, and again
whenever it becomes confusing
and you're not too sure where to take
the conversation,
where to take the interaction,
remember
I don't want my iman to be tested.
I don't want a situation that involves
any form of fitna. The moment you start
to feel that, you know exactly what to
do. Back away, take some time, have somebody
else get involved,
do the things that you need to do
to protect your iman.
That is the most important thing. May Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for you.