Musleh Khan – Level of Effort Equals Value of Relationship

			Sir Mr. De Kumara to Leo barakato. Brothers and sisters, today, let's talk about my engagement is
messed up. So what we want to do in shallow tail is we want to pay attention to some of the signs
that an engagement is not going very well. And this is really important to know. Because what often
happens is that both sides within that engagement get caught up in their feelings, they get caught
up in distractions, the wedding, all the different plans, and actually lose sight of what's really
important. And that is your relationship with that individual. Some of the things that might
indicate to you that this person may not be the most suitable individual for you. So we want to talk
		

			about what some of those signs are in sha Allah huhtala. So here's number one, the value that you
put in a relationship is going to determine the value of the outcome of that relationship. So in
other words, if one side or both sides are really lazy, they're very lackadaisical about their plans
and their future, what they want to do what they want to accomplish, they just seem like they don't
have that much interest in the relationship itself, you or one side or both sides, either one person
is depending on the other to make all the phone calls to write all the emails, one side always has
to initiate a conversation, whenever there's a problem, it always seems like the same person has to
		

			resolve those issues. Now, keep in mind that when you are speaking within an engagement, there are
obviously rules that you have to follow. So there's a certain level of conversation that you're
permitted to have, which of course, should not have any desire or any fitness. So once all of these
things are eliminated, you need to pay attention to the level of interest the other person has
within that relationship. And this is all coming back from one very important Hadith, that our
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once told us as a general rule, when we're dealing with one
another, he says that you may know how to comb your hair belly as he may have bullied if say, none
		

			of you have really completed your faith, meaning you haven't reached the perfection of a man unless
you love for your brother, what you love for yourself. So if you love for the other person that you
want them to feel wanted accepted, give them the attention the rights that they deserve, then that's
the same way that you want to also be treated. So you have to give that to others, you have to treat
people the way you want to be treated. And don't expect that somehow when the marriage happens, all
of this is just going to unfold and things are just going to be better. This is a really naive
approach when it comes to an engagement. And it's really important that you keep this in mind,
		

			because what this is going to do is that this is going to build a responsibility and maturity in
that relationship. So when the marriage does actually happen, there's there isn't a lot of work that
has to be done. You both know exactly what you want, you both have the responsibility factor in
place, and you are both ready to take care of each other. No one is going to be dependent on one
person to do all the work like how they were dependent on it during the engagement time. So that's
really important. It sets the whole psychology or the mentality for both parties. So when they get
married in short, a long time, they can treat each other as equally as possible. So that's the first
		

			sign is to look out of the value or the effort one person is giving to that relationship, because
based on that effort, there's a good possibility it's going to reflect the effort that they're going
to put in the actual marriage itself. So May Allah subhanho wa Taala Bless you all was said Mr.
Baraka to