Musleh Khan – Family Life #7

			said Mr. Equal marginal to love you about a care to everyone. Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu
Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah well Barrett so this is part six of our series life with
children and young adults. So let's get right to it. We're on verse number 17 have sort of look man
so this is the next piece of advice that look man Allah His Salaam has with his son. He tells his
son airborn, a upcoming signer tell what more to be married all for you one how only the moon code
was better either man or saw back in the early communism in more. This particular verse is
remarkable in the sense because it continues first and foremost by talking or addressing the sun
		

			Yeah, boo nay. So again, that love the care that connection that look man Alayhi Salaam is trying to
keep with his son, when he's trying to tell him what to do or what he should consider what he should
prefer. The love and the care is absolutely critical. So that's one of the lessons that we keep
seeing throughout all these pieces of advice from the father to his son. And now things really get
interesting. The first piece of advice in this a is that Look, man, it has salami slicing up in a
cider. The first thing is that I want you to establish your prayer. Now prayer, our messenger it
told us that prayer is me stacking liquidity higher. It's the thing that it's the key to all
		

			goodness in this world. Everything you want to achieve everything that you aspire to be everything
that you wish to have. Just your whole purpose and your whole existence as a believer as a human
being revolves around the this this act of worship prayer. And I always like to say that one of the
things that makes prayer so profound, is that Sala is the thing that resolves the struggles and
problems that we have in our life, that nothing in this world can resolve. So we're on lockdown it's
there's a pandemic happening in the world Sala can heal that pandemic, if you were diagnosed with
COVID-19. And the doctors pretty much said, Hey, you know what your immune system is weak or you
		

			know, you you're really sick, you have other complications, what have you saw, that is the thing
that can cure you from all of them. And so very much so with the with the son, Look, man early, his
setup is now telling him all that I've said to you thus far, now it's time for us to really put this
into practice. Now it's time for us to make this a part of your life each and every day. So there's
a couple of things. The first thing is that if you notice that all of the advice that we've been
seeing so far, is more or less intellectual in the sense that Look, man, Allison is teaching his
son, these morals and ethics, the knowledge of this theme. So he starts off with who Allah subhanho
		

			wa Taala is establishing that higher authority. So the introduction to the Creator, the one where
all of this advice is going towards the discipline, the determination, all of these things towards
the ultimate creator, so at least know who he is. Then Alyssa kind of attire that continues and
tells us that now the father will say to his son, okay, after Allah, Mom and Dad, everything to do
with mom and dad. So pretty much everything to do with this world. Then afterwards, it's about also
keeping in mind that even when you're not in front of mom and dad, and you're not in prayer, that
you're still being monitored by surveillance from the sky. So you're still being watched. So that
		

			element of fear and consciousness of a love which is what we call in Arabic, taqwa it always has to
be there. And then now Allah, Allah so agenne allows look men are they seem to put all of these
pieces of advice together, and it's found in prayer. Prayer solves the world's problems when the
world can find solutions. Prayer is the thing that gives you the cure when no one else can find a
cure. Prayer is the thing that gives you the answer when you're told there is no answer. That's
what's all that is all about. That's why we need prayer in our life. This is why you document it,
his salon makes it a point that he tells his son you have to establish prayer. Why? Because now the
		

			sun understands who Allah is. So he knows he has to pray to Allah. Now the sun understands his
relationship between him and his parents. So he has to continue with that relationship to manifest
and purify and uplift his own being his own self, become a better human being and become a better
person. All of this is found in Sona. So that's the first thing. The second thing is, Do you notice
when the advice of solid comes into play here? It comes almost at the end.
		

			And have this conversation between the Father and the Son, which is really interesting.
		

			Often when we judge a good person in Islam, or a good person in general, usually what are the
qualities that you look for to in order to judge that, okay? That person is a really good person.
Prayer is usually one of them. And as a matter of fact, it could be even at the top of the line, the
top of the list. And this doesn't matter, like what religion you come from, that if you're somebody
that prays or you, you, you dedicate yourself to a creator. So you have that spiritual side of you,
genuinely speaking, if you practice what you preach, so if what you practice, it's manifested in
your character, and the way that you treat people. And why because you fear this ultimate Supreme
		

			Being, there's a higher superiority above you. So you fear that and you worship it, it helps you
become a better person, you're able to keep yourself under control. When you're confronted, you're
able to, to keep yourself composed. And so this should be one of the first qualities to judge a good
person, particularly in Islam. But what's interesting is that Allah subhanho wa Taala puts it up
almost at the end. So what does that tell you? Usually, when we're trying to teach kids Islam and
we're trying to introduce the deen, what's the first thing we start making them do? Pray, stand
beside, like, forget about Waldo, just stand beside me do the movements and get them into the habit.
		

			That's okay. But if they don't know who they're talking to, they don't know who they're worshiping.
They don't know why they're praying. They don't know that when they do pray, what they're supposed
to feel what they're supposed to experience, what prayer is supposed to do. They don't know how to
discover a solid to miss that liquidity higher prayer is the key to all goodness, they're still
happy, they're still unhappy. They'll say, Okay, well, if the prayer is the key to all goodness, so
I'm feeling pretty sad and depressed right now. Let me pray. And when they finish that said, I'm
ready to love someone at Equinox Allah, guess what, a lot of them still feel depressed and still
		

			feel sad, what's not working, what's not happening? Seems like for a lot of people, prayer is just
even cardiovascular exercise. And they're just getting into the movements, but they're not able to
reap the spiritual fruits and benefits behind being involved in that action so many times a day. And
then in addition to that, they're obliged to do it. No one can be Muslim, if they don't pray. I
mean, that's a generic or a unanimous consensus from the day Islam was born. Nobody has ever said
you can still be Muslim, but just pray whenever you feel like or just forget about prayer as a
whole, it just doesn't make any sense. This is where we put all of the theory into action. And one
		

			of the ways to heal that, that that experience so that you're able to see the fruits and experience
the fruits of what prayer should do for you. One of one of the ways to do that is that you
understand who it is you're praying to. And I always tell students that if you don't know Allah,
then you will never taste the sweetness of this religion, you will never understand why Islam is
what it is, why we do things, the way that we do, why we stay away from the things that we stay away
from, you'll never understand the wisdom. And as a result, the ripple effect begins. So now you
start questioning logically, well, why do I have to pray? If Allah knows what's in my heart, I'm a
		

			good person, I'm honest, I don't need to just go down there, put my face down to the floor,
prostrate, and do all of that. I don't need to do any of that anymore. So you start questioning
stuff, why? Most of the times, it's because you don't know who Allah is. You didn't get a chance to
you don't you didn't take the time to read his biography. What's his biography, it's all of his
names and his attributes, you didn't get a chance to sit there and look at it and see how scholars
explained each of these names and attributes. They literally have written volumes on each of these
names. So that's allows biography to us if you don't know what that is. And then the other extreme
		

			is, okay, we memorize a lot of this theory. So we go through, we memorize all the names and
attributes, we memorize the poor end, we study, we do all of these wonderful things, but the
willingness to improve and become better and practice this stuff, and to ensure that when we do need
this knowledge to speak to us, that it's actually going to speak to us, so that awareness and that
consciousness out the window. So Islam just ended up being restricted to more theoretical than
practical. So that's another extreme. And then the other extreme of that is the flip side. For some
people. Islam is just about doing the movements, but they don't care to sit in a classroom. They
		

			don't care to read a book, they don't even care to read this book. And so, lp massada here is more
than just establishing prayer. It's about taking all the pieces of advice that the Father is giving
to his son and now putting everything into perspective. Now, this is the way to move forward my son,
this is the way
		

			So, what does this mean to you and I, those of us who have children, those of us who have college
and uni students in our homes, if there's no prayer, there is no hope. There is no solid, no hope.
And yes, the kids that are listening to this, the students that are listening to this, listen
carefully, guys, when your parents might sound a bit annoying that they have to wake you up for
future, what they have to constantly know stop whatever you're doing, if you're watching TV, or if
you're all out somewhere and they're always reminding you to pray, did you pray mcribs you pray, you
know, Jimmy will do properly. We started prayer, where were you that kind of reminder, while la
		

			ether mobile, I promise you by Allah, you will eventually appreciate what your parents were doing,
no matter how annoying they sounded doing that with you, you will eventually see some kind of law.
Now I understand why I needed to pray this whole time, because I'm sick now. Because I'm depressed
now. Because I keep failing in my life at school at work. I just keep failing at everything and I
don't know how to get over it. Now I understand where prayer comes in. Prayer helps me to pass
prayer helps me to heal prayer to helps me to see direction and see clarity. Now understand what mom
and dad were doing. But it's too late mom and dad are gone. And so really take it upon yourself in
		

			some kind of love. Allah created Salah in such a way, just a couple of minutes, just do it. Just
Just do it and get it over with. Right. So that's that's what the Father is really saying here. It's
not just about just pray. But it's about putting all of these pieces of advice together that this
knowledge will now remain with you for the rest of your life. Now with prayer, here's the next
layer. When you pray regularly, here's what you're able to do. What motivated mouth one? How are
they Moncler? figuratively people translate this as command good and forbid evil, which, quite
honestly, is one of the worst translations possible. And modal, what modal doesn't just mean to come
		

			in command is such a dominant type of term that gives the impression that we walk around and we just
tell people what to do. So it presents that that that that the narrative that you don't have a
choice, I command you to do this, just do it. And the story. And if you don't, then jahannam has got
a big wide door open for you. It gives that kind of that kind of impression and we don't want that.
And also means to encourage and to inspire. Emraan is not even restricted to just verbalizing
things. It could just be your action. So you lead by example, that's envelope as well. kind words be
like man, you prayed, you didn't pray that well, but I'm just so grateful you're pregnant, keep it
		

			up. That's mo done as well. Emerald Emerald is also to inspire people. So no matter how messed up,
they may be, you still inspire them that they can become better people. And so this is now for the
parents. I know how hard it is to tell your kids regardless of their age, it just depends where they
are in, in the world of Islam and their relationship with Allah. I know that sometimes it's an
impossible task, to to get your kids to pray. One thing that I want to warn parents don't ever do is
don't enforce Allah through discipline, you know, through punishment, you know, don't hold you know,
don't be like look, if you don't pray, I want you to go into your room you're going to sit there for
		

			the rest of the night. Right or go to your fault or you know what you're grounded for a week because
you missed fudger don't do that. This is not one of those disciplines where you know if you do it
you get a reward you don't do it I'm going to punish you to the ground that's not the way this
works. The profit hourly slot was set on never ever preached Islam this way let alone Sala the whole
religion. He never said hey, listen guys, Omar, Abu Bakar Mossad. You guys listen to me, okay? You
guys don't practice your religion. I mean, you know, this is gonna be terrible things waiting for
you guys. Okay, so I'm warning you. You never did that he didn't like he didn't become all didn't
		

			become all gangster with the sahabas and be like, Listen, you got to do this or else Okay, so watch
out. He didn't do any of that. You didn't argue his way through preaching his message. He didn't
punish people immediately as a result of Okay, they were weak or they were lazy. I don't care that's
I don't care. you're lazy. You're always lazy. Come and punish this young man. He didn't do any of
that. All of his preaching was based on love, nurture and care. That's Emily big mouth. metal roof.
Marinoff as we mentioned universal standard. In other words, Allah is Allah azza wa jal is saying
that when you pray, you're able to be a positive contributor like just by existence, based on the
		

			culture and norm that you live with. Like, you're able to
		

			To become a positive influence for people, even if you have no knowledge, you've never learned
anything. You don't know nothing about Islam, but you're just a nice person. And people see that.
And they're like, Man, you're so nice, I can trust you with everything. And I can give you the keys
to my car and come back and my keys to my car is right there. Like I can give you the keys to my
house, I can leave my children with you. That's what Emerald is. And the way that you get that is
solder has to be a part of you. One how many men come the complete opposite. So you also become very
uncomfortable when the wrong stuff is happening around you. Like you hear racism at work. And you
		

			don't care who it's from, you don't care what religion, but you hear that somebody is being a
racist, you become really uncomfortable. You know, you give a look at and you speak up and you say
something, be like, Listen, don't talk like that. Don't treat people that way. So you're able to
stand up and even if you don't just like your your, your presence, your body language, to express
the disgust and the pain and the discomfort of people who behave that way. That's all one How are
they Mancha. And then the last panel entirely continues. And he says last bit are either not solid,
be patient, whatever happens to you. That tells you that despite you do this you pray, and your
		

			positive influence for for mankind, you're going to have your share of trial and test and hardship
it's going to happen to you. If there's one thing that we have all learned about pain and hardship
is that every single human being is subject to it, you'll get it, you'll get your own form of it,
you'll get your own customized version of hardship, that is catered and designed just for you. But
guess what? You pray. So you win. Guess what? When that pain and hardship comes, he no one will ever
see it in you. Why? Because of Salah, you're able to control those emotions. So in front of your
kids, they don't know the pain that you're going through. Because why you pray? So when How are they
		

			Mancha. And what motivated Morrow is still happening, despite the worst pain and struggles in your
life, your kids see that your men, my parents are my hero. And then the other way around, that
you'll see your kids start to mature. And that, you know, they're praying, they're doing their best
to obey you. They're doing all of these things. And so when they go through their own trials,
whether it be academically or in life in general, they're able you know, you as a parent, you might
be worried, but your kids would be like, Don't worry about me, Mom, Dad, I'm good. I'm good. I can
handle this. Yeah, the guy you know, was a racist, he spit on me because I had my hijab, but you
		

			know what I was watching him. That's what ends up happening and so on, let us say most of them are
either male or something, whatever I throw your way, just be patient with it. Remember, guys, we are
the owner of patience. There's no one after us. There's no message after there's no prophet after
us. So that's why over 90 times in the Quran, Allah keeps telling us just be patient. Just hang in
there, after your nation, after your oma is the day of judgment. So just hang in there. What's
better than not a sonic in the valley communism or more, that's the thing that you have to be
determined to do. That's the thing where all of your energy needs to be praying, be a positive
		

			influence to society, stand up against any forms of hate or wrong, and just be patient get through
this. And that's what we have to do. I think that this advice, you know, for me, if you look man, I
think Islam only said this one piece of advice, verse number 17, if this was the only piece of
advice he gave, I don't know guys, I for me, I feel like that would be enough. I would be like some
kind of like, that's, that's just amazing. That's pretty much summarize my whole life, my purpose
and what I have to do so that I can be happy and successful in my life. Just pray, what might be
marital influence, and encourage people to do the right thing. Stand up against all forms of wrong
		

			and be patient. That's where my energy needs to be. You know, we pay 1000s of dollars like we as in
people in general pay 1000s of dollars to experts to help encourage our self esteem, create
positivity, be optimistic about life, about business, about work, school, etc. And look with the
core and had the verse, the poor and had it for free, accessible to every human being on the planet.
And a lot just put it in one sentence he put a whole course of building strength and self esteem in
one sentence. And I just think that that's just one of the most remarkable things. With that being
said guys, we got two more verses left and the two verses in sha Allah will conclude tomorrow
		

			Beasley let he tide and then we'll move on from the advice of Look, man it center. And we're going
to switch it now. Then, right? So we're talking about a father to his son or a father to his child,
men, we're going to go to the poor end where the mother
		

			is giving advice or the mother is giving guidance to his or her child. So we'll get to that section
of the Quran and extract some parenting techniques and just life as a family what we can learn from
those those stories. inshallah with that, let me just take a look real quickly.
		

			Rush man is asking,
		

			Is it permissible for women to go to the cemetery to visit those we have lost? Okay, pretty out of
the world question. But no problem. Let's welcome. Yes and no. So the first thing is that scholars
have differed on this subject. There are lots of letters, lots of books that have been written on
the subject or a lot of fatalities that are issued. There are two things that I will say to you on
the subject, the general rule of thumb is that visiting the grave is a reminder of the AFA. And this
is what our selectors told us that even to the cucumber era, when you go to the cemetery, it's going
to constantly remind you that you're going to leave this world and go somewhere else. Women need
		

			that reminder too. So just going to visit the grave in and of itself, scholars differ. Okay, I'm not
going to say to you, it's one answer case, close one on one on equal No, it's an empty, lengthy
issue. So that's the first thing to understand that there's a difference of opinion on the subject,
that when it comes to what you should do, I don't know where you are. And so that's really important
to me, I don't like to give a fatwa on towards a particular country or city or place that I'm not
living in are familiar with. And that's part of the acronym or fatawa, the rulings of how to issue
factual use, you have to be aware of what the people's needs are and what they're coping with. So
		

			what I will say to you is that you should also take the time to reach out to show your HUD scholars
in your area. Now, if you live here in Canada, or in Toronto, I will say to you 100%, in shuttleq
Charla, you're definitely more than welcome to visit a grave to be able to pray for your loved one,
and just get that reminder. So go inside with that intention, it is absolutely fine. And it is
there's nothing except benefited comes out of it. Those who object to it use the Hadees that our
Prophet isolette was prohibited this because when women back then used to go to the graves, they
used to get involved, they used to wail so they used to scream and shout and pull their clothes and
		

			doing all of these things. But the term that is used in the Hadith is very specific to describe that
kind of behavior. So what if she doesn't do that? What if she's completely composed, she's fine,
she's crying, but who doesn't cry at a cemetery? So she's crying, she's sad, she's emotional, it's
her loved one, somebody close to her and she's praying she's remembering the memories are kicking
in. That's what going to a cemetery does anybody you know, sometimes we will cry men will cry 100
times more than anyone else. But so the point is, is that if that's what's happening to her, that
that's the kind of you know, reminder that's being stimulated in her that you know, some handle law
		

			This is as real as it gets, I can tell you that there is anything beyond better than that kind of
reminder in this world, like just to stand in front of the deceased in front of a grave and get that
kind of reminder it really puts your whole life into perspective. So if you live in this part of the
world, to Irishman, then by all means go and visit the graves and go and get that reminder in shot
low Tara but if you live elsewhere outside of the West, then please also consult the shoe for the
scholars and take their advice because they will know what is best for their community inshallah
Tada. So with that being said, Guys, may Allah azza wa jal reward all of you again, I want to
		

			encourage all of you to please please, if you're not doing this already, watch this video with your
family. Make sure you have all of your students and children in front of the screen and just share
back whatever feedback you have in shot low tide any questions and we'll do our best to answer them.
Okay, guys, take care until we meet again. So there might be one or two lucky over a curtain.