Musleh Khan – Ask Musleh – What should I do if I am contemplating divorce?

			Today Mr alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato brothers and sisters and welcome back to ask Muslim. So
today inshallah we want to talk about something really important. And this is a couple, whether it's
the husband or wife thinking of getting a divorce. Now this is not, we're not going to talk about
the problems that led to this point, we're just going to talk about one or both of these individuals
just having that thought lingering within their minds in their marriage. The first advice that I
would give to somebody like this is number one, try to get those thoughts out of your mind as soon
as possible. Even though our shitty our permits divorce, it's one of those things that you only want
		

			to access it or do it, if there's a strong solid need for it. Otherwise, you want to stay away from
it as much as possible. Because shaitan is very, very influential in times like this, when people
are distressed, people are going through problems. shaitan comes to us and influences us to make
crazy rash decisions about our lives. A lot of people who divorce ended up regretting the divorce
immediately after it's done, because they would say to themselves, had I done this had I done that
had I stayed longer had I been more patient, things would have probably turned out a bit different.
So the first thing you want to do is you want to throw that idea and right out the window,
		

			especially when you can see something in front of you something there something strong, that would
lead you to divorcing your spouse. So that's the first thing. Second thing is is that when you're
dealing with these kinds of emotion, you must get a second opinion, you must go to somebody who's
trained in that field, somebody who has experienced a counselor and a man or a chef, somebody that
you know that you respect that has knowledge about nikka and divorce, go to them and hear their
advice. Because in times like this, you always need guidance of dealing with these situations, don't
try to handle all of this by yourself. Take the guidance of people who have the theoretical
		

			knowledge of how to deal with these issues. Third thing is support, you must have support if you're
thinking about divorce, because what support will do is that regardless of what side you go to,
whether you go to for a divorce, or whether you try to reconcile and work things out, if you have
support, it'll always feel like this is the right decision for you. Because you'll have the second
opinion there. But at the same time when things do get rough, when you do get into the gutters,
you'll have somebody there to pick you out to advise you to encourage you to let you know things are
going to be okay. Because brothers and sisters, those of you who are watching, if you've gone
		

			through a divorce, how did it feel when it happened? Did you feel as though you had no hope in your
life anymore, you can never get married again, nobody's gonna want you because you're too old or
you've been married or you have children and this and that. So that's it, you're just going to be
stuck on the shelf and nobody's going to come to you anymore. Well, when you have support, all of
those satanic thoughts get thrown out the window because it's all from shaitaan. Allah subhanho wa
Taala allowed us in our shed era, not for a bad or a negative wisdom behind it. But it's something
that's good for us because simply relation not all relationships are going to work out. So the point
		

			here is brothers and sisters is if you're out there and you're thinking about divorcing your spouse
or breaking the marriage, the first thing is that you want to stop throw that idea out of your head
and really look at the issue in marriage and see if it constitutes for a divorce or not. If you do
that insha Allah what are the things will start to look clearer in front of you. And then you can
start making the right decisions for yourself and for your marriage. And inshallah brothers and
sisters. As a counselor, I can tell you if you do this, and you take your time and do as the
prophets I seldom has encouraged us to do someone when he tells us in an authentic hadith don't make
		

			rash decisions, because rash dishes decisions are from the Shaitan so don't hasten in doing things
well at a strategy or don't hasten in trying to get things done. Because if you take your time, then
insha Allah whatever decision you make will feel like the right decision. And if it feels right,
then it will always lead you to the right things in sha Allah, Allah. So having said that, guys, may
Allah subhanho wa Taala make your marriages easy for all of you and bring happiness into your lives.
We'll send them Marley Kumara to LA he will better care to
		

			me