Musleh Khan – Al-Ahzaab Unveiled #11
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The Prophet has his responsibility to his wife, but he gives it to him by Allah. The importance of Islam is highlighted, including the difficulty of marriage and divorce, the importance of finding a good person for a new partner, and the importance of sh matter in shaping women to be successful at home. The importance of not wedding after marriage is also emphasized, and rules for guests to say their time is "-shaytan" and not showing anyone's presence. The importance of not showing anyone's presence and not showing anyone's presence is also emphasized. The importance of protecting oneself and others from small talk while traveling is emphasized, and upcoming events and announcements are mentioned.
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is going to be logistically extremely challenging for
him.
So these are just some of the things
that the ulama have said why, but more
or less it is at the end of
the day, a relief that comes from Allah,
that Allah has chosen for him.
He never asked for this, which is important
to note.
The Prophet ﷺ never made dua that Allah
lift this responsibility from him, but this was
given to him by Allah.
And it is a decision that Allah has
made.
Allah does not ask or look at his
situation.
He just decides what is best for his
Prophet.
And so it was legislated.
And then we looked at this verse as
well.
تُرْجِي مَنْ تَشَاءُ مِنْهُنْ وَتُعْوِي إِلَيْكَ مَنْ تَشَاءُ
It is up to you, O Prophet, to
delay or receive wherever you please of your
wives.
There is no blame onto you if you
call back any of those you have set
aside.
Okay, so this ayah here introduces how he
ﷺ would separate or distribute his time that
he spends with his wives.
Although it is a general rule of thumb
that you treat all of them equally in
terms of the time you spend with your
wives, right?
That the rule of thumb in the shari
'ah is that the husband tries his very
best to give equal time.
That is not something that is required upon
the Prophet ﷺ.
He still does that.
There are several stories of him doing that
where he always ensures that he treats and
he gives his time to each of his
wives equally.
But it is not a shari'ah requirement
upon him to do that.
And so this is the ayah that came
to sort of relieve him of that responsibility
as well.
So basically Allah says, تُرْجِي مَنْ تَشَاءُ It's
really up to you to decide if that's
something that you're able to keep up with,
then by all means.
So to delay or to receive.
So you can say like if one of
the wives want to meet him, he can
say, look, maybe not today, another time.
Or he can make the decision, okay, you
know, we can spend some time together and
then I have to go.
I have this responsibility and so on.
It's literally left up to him.
وَمَنْ إِبْتَغَيْتَ مِمَّنْ عَزَّلْتَ فَلَا جُنَاحٌ عَلَيْهِ There
is no blame on you.
If you call back any of those that
you have set aside, that is more likely
that they will be content and not grieve.
This is really important here.
ذَلِكَ أَدْنَا أَنْ تَقَرَّ أَعْيُنُهُنْ وَلَا يَحْزَنْ وَيَرَضَيْنَ
بِمَا آتَيْتَهُنَّ كُلُّهُنْ In other words, this part
of the ayah, it says here that his
wives, they're not going to complain about this.
Which is a really important thing to just
note when you're talking about how his wives
would have responded.
How they would have felt, oh, you know,
he didn't come and see me today, or
he didn't spend as much time with me
as he would have others.
That is something that the wives, them who
took on this pledge and took on the
responsibility of being his wife, they understand that
they're not going to be able to always
request or even demand certain things from him
with respect to his time.
That his time is not just for them
and them alone, but obviously he has to
distribute this time for the affairs of the
entire ummah.
And especially when there is war and battle,
even that consumes more of his efforts and
time.
So they understand that.
So really important because why I highlight this
is there are critics of Islam that always
point out the quote-unquote unjust nature of
how wives are treated by husbands in Islam
and they use verses like this.
And so this here Allah makes it very
clear that they're not going to be upset,
they're not going to be saddened, but they're
going to be وَيَرْضَيْنَ بِمَا آتَيْتَهُنَّ كُلُّهُنَّ So
they're going to be content and satisfied with
whatever it is you decide, ya Rasulullah.
Allah fully knows what is in your hearts.
وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا
حَلِيمًا So Allah fully knows exactly what's in
your hearts.
So in other words, why that is mentioned
here that Allah highlights He knows what is
in their hearts.
You know, have you ever seen, well, I'm
sure you've seen, right?
That people on the outside, they will be
like, yeah, I totally understand.
But in their heart they're like, damn, how
I wish you could have.
But on the outside, they go along and
say, no, no, no, it's okay.
I'm not upset at all.
I'm not upset.
I'm not aggravated.
No, no, it's totally fine.
But deep down in their hearts, they're hurt.
They might be upset.
They're aggravated something.
Allah highlights, I know exactly how you feel
in there.
So even though on the outside, you're trying
to be strong and civilized.
Allah is reminding all of us that what
the thing that Allah pays attention to the
most is really how you feel inwardly.
So what the heart is going through, what
the heart is feeling, that is the thing
that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will nurture
and care for, especially with his wives.
وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَلِيمًا And Allah is all
-knowing.
حَلِيمًا حِلْمٌ is Allah will always bear or
relieve you of that burden.
Whatever it is that you feel, the emotional
pain, the emotional weight and stress, Allah will
always relieve you of that pain and that
burden so that you have what it takes
both physically and emotionally to get through.
The chapter of marriage here is officially closed
with this ayah.
لَا يَحِلُّ لَكَ النَّيسَءُ مِنْ بَعْدُ وَلَا أَنْ
تَبَدَّلَ بِهِمْ مِنْ أَزْوَاجٍ It is not lawful
for you, O Prophet, to marry more women
after this.
What does that mean?
There is no more marriage for him.
After the wives that he has married, عَيْشَ
رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا That's where the chapter is
closed.
Has there been proposals brought to him after
عَيْشَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا that you know of?
Yeah, it has happened.
But the Prophet ﷺ is not allowed to
marry anymore.
Allah has closed this chapter for him to
marry more women after this.
So that's one way of understanding the verse.
Another way to understand this verse is that
you cannot marry more.
So you already have a certain amount of
wives.
You can't exceed that limit.
Allah has set a limit for you.
Both of these interpretations are common amongst the
Mufassirun.
So it is not lawful for you, O
Prophet, to marry more women after this.
Nor can you replace any of your present
wives with another.
That's important.
So if he says, well, if I can't
marry somebody else, then I'll just divorce one
and then I'll marry somebody in place of
her.
No, you can't do that either.
You know, there's a deeper meaning or there's
a deeper concept here to pay attention to
when it comes to these rules.
You know, on the one hand, on the
outer shell, they look like rules that are
very explicit to him.
They're very specific to him.
But you know, we can all relate to
this as well.
Maybe not the first part where you cannot
marry after this.
So just put this into perspective.
You're married and Allah is saying to you
that although the limit is four, let's just
say, you know, you're married to your husband,
you're married to your wife, one wife.
You cannot now replace this wife with somebody
else.
And Allah highlights, وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكَ حُسْنُحٌ Even if
her beauty may attract you.
So you cannot just divorce your wife just
because you find somebody else more attractive than
her is not a shari'i valid reason
to divorce your wife.
There is a difference between I find somebody
else more attractive to me than her.
That's one scenario.
As opposed to saying, I am not attracted
to my wife anymore.
That's a whole different ballgame.
That is a different rule.
And that the permission of, okay, maybe this
marriage might be dissolved.
There's a possibility in that.
Because we all understand that physical attraction is
one of the pillars of marriage.
There are several examples of companions coming to
the Prophet ﷺ and saying, Ya Rasulullah, I
want to marry so and so.
The famous scenario of Jabir ibn Abdullah.
رضي الله عنه So now he comes to
him and says, Ya Rasulullah, I saw so
and so and I want to marry that
person.
Prophet ﷺ knows that the person he's making
reference to is a woman that covers her
face.
Right?
So he asks Jabir, Have you seen her?
Meaning have you seen her face?
And Jabir says, No, Ya Rasulullah, but I
know her to be this, this is a
good person, good akhlaq, religious and so on.
You know what the Prophet ﷺ tells him
to do?
Go and look at her.
And if you are pleased with what you
see, then you can marry her.
So it clearly puts what as a criteria
for Jabir.
رضي الله عنه Like make sure that there
is that attraction there because it's important.
It's one of the four laws the Prophet
ﷺ laid out when you look for a
spouse, the four things that you look for
in that person.
So Prophet ﷺ when he's being told that
you cannot just replace them just because somebody
else, you know, حسن حنة like their beauty
attracts you in some way.
Quick question.
Has this happened to the Prophet ﷺ?
Were there women that were quote unquote attractive
to him that he felt were attractive?
Did he ever say anything like this?
Have you ever heard of a story or
an incident where the Prophet ﷺ complimented a
woman or said something about her beauty that
hinted to the idea that he found her
to be somewhat attractive?
Not even a da'if narration, not even
a fabricated narration of the Prophet ﷺ exists
of him seeing another woman and then complimenting
her to somebody else.
You know, I saw so and so walking
by the tree over there after dhuhr and
you know, none of that because that's not
of his character to do that.
So you don't even have a fabricated narration
of him ﷺ doing that.
But Allah still highlights this in the ayah
and the word that is used is one
of many words in Qur'an to describe
beauty in some way.
حسن حنة حسن حنة is the same word
as حسن or حسن.
Have you ever heard this word?
When you say that this person's akhlaq is
hasan, what are you saying about their akhlaq?
When you say that somebody's akhlaq is hasan,
it's really good, like it's praiseworthy.
It's an akhlaq that feel like it encourages
the people around them when they see that
they feed off of this person's character.
حسن حنة in this ayah, her character and
appearance.
What insight does this word give us about
the Prophet ﷺ that despite that he is
married, he will still have something in him
that all people do, all men have it,
all women have it to an extent, but
it's more so for the men.
What is this quality?
Yeah, the shahwa, the quality of desire.
It's how people are created but especially the
men.
This is a part of Allah's design, like
it's something that we all have in us
and there's nothing that he can do about
it except control it.
So it shows us that the best of
the best still has this in him ﷺ.
But obviously, you know, with his status and
who he is, of course, he is able
to keep that where it needs to be.
When a wife beautifies herself for her husband,
in essence, she is battling shaitan away from
her husband.
Why do I put that there?
وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكَ حُسْنُحُنَّ إِلَّا مَا مَلَكَةِ يَمِينُكَ Accept
those bonds women in your possession.
وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلَىٰ قُلِّ شَيْءٍ رَقِيبًا And Allah
is ever watchful over all things.
Why do I put this here?
When the wife beautifies herself for her husband,
in essence, she's not trying to fix or
control his desire.
But there's something deeper that she is helping
him battle with.
And that is the waswasa of shaitan.
Right?
The temptation of shaitan to look, to spark
a conversation, to stare at somebody else, to
find beauty and attraction in someone else.
Here's how you can recognize this.
If you see somebody who is very attractive
and your husband is there and sees the
same person and you compliment her and you
say, you know, mashallah, that sister is so
beautiful.
And your husband, even if he does this
intentionally, but he gives no attention to that
conversation, he'll brush it off or he won't
even get involved in it.
He'll just say, okay, well, yeah, whatever, I
guess if you say so.
Or he wouldn't give a two cents at
all.
This is where whatever it is that you're
doing or not doing at home, it's working.
Because why?
He's able to shut off even somebody that
his own wife thinks or wants or compliments
or acknowledges or recognizes her beauty.
She acknowledges it.
She sees it.
And she just casually talks to him about
it.
She doesn't think any further.
But for him, that's all that he needs
to lose his mind.
And if he is able to like stop
and brush it off, okay, I guess, whatever,
if you say so.
And he just continues to goes about his
business.
This is one sign that she is doing
something or however it is that she chooses
to conduct herself with her husband at home,
especially in the private quarters.
Yeah, it's certainly working.
And in the deepest part of that is,
she is definitely part of the battle that
he goes through every single day, which is
the battle of shahwa, of desire.
And obviously, that temptation is also enhanced and
encouraged from the shaytan himself.
So really important, sisters, to just sort of
keep that in mind that these little things
that are being encouraged in the surah to
happen at home is part of her in
battle with her husband against the wasawis of
shaytan.
To do this for her husband is motivated
by seeking the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala and following the teachings of the
sunnah.
This is another point that we get from
this ayah as well.
وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ رَقِيبًا Allah is
ever watchful over all things.
You see this word at the end here?
You see this word?
رَقِيبًا رَقِيبًا is the same word that you
probably hear in jumu'ah khutbas when the
khateeb starts off with the first verse of
surah an-nisa where Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala tells us إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا
Allah upon all of you was always a
raqib.
You know what the raqib is?
Raqib is like when you take an animal
like if you had like a cat or
a goat or a sheep and you grab
it by the back of its neck and
you force it to go where you want
it to go.
That's called raqib raqib, raqaba is that you
force it in the direction that you want
it to go.
So Allah is raqib on all of us.
If Allah wants, He could do what with
all of us?
He could force us to go in any
direction that Allah wants us to be.
So Allah reminds us that He has this
level of control on everything.
However, you know at the end of the
day for us humans it's a little different
because we also have the ability to choose
and then you know put ourselves in a
position to suffer the consequences of those choices,
right?
So it's a deeper conversation of how raqib
applies to humans and the choices we make
but in general the principle of life is
that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala one of
His attributes is that He is raqib.
Okay, let's get to this one.
I don't think I'm going to last the
entire session guys.
Let's just see how this goes.
When guests become annoying, okay I remember putting
this together.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا Keep in mind how
the verse begins, okay.
O believers, people of Iman لا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتَ
النَّبِي إِلَّا أَن يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ Don't enter the
homes of the Prophet without permission.
First thing is these are rules that are
exclusive to the Prophet ﷺ.
Some of it later on have been extended
to the general mass, to all the believers.
So some of it is exclusive to him
and I'll point out the ones that are
relevant to all of us as well.
The first opening sentence of this ayah O
people of Iman لا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتَ النَّبِي Do
not enter the homes of the Prophet without
permission.
Is there a similar rule for us as
well?
Yes.
There is a similar rule and that is
found in Surah An-Nur.
Remember, the sister surah of this is Surah
An-Nur.
So Surah An-Nur, Allah also tells us
لا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ Don't enter a
house that isn't yours حَتَّى تَسْتَأْنِسُوا until you
were given the invitation and permission to enter.
So you have a more generic ayah in
that surah than this one.
So the first thing to keep in mind
is you should never ever enter anybody's house
without their permission.
It doesn't matter.
You can't just be like, I'm just going
to go see my mom.
It's just my mom.
I can go there anytime.
No, you can't do that.
You shouldn't do that.
It's one thing if your parents say to
their kids, now that you're married, you guys
can come and visit anytime.
Your discretion has to play a big part
of that decision as well.
You can't take that for granted.
You can't just be like, yeah, it's my
parent's house or it's my kid's house or
it's my family's house or it's my sister
or it's my this or that.
You can't do that.
Can anyone tell me why?
It doesn't matter how close you are to
the people of that home.
It doesn't matter if they're your parents or
children.
You cannot waltz into anybody's house uninvited.
That is an explicit principle in Islam.
Why?
What do you think?
It's simple as that.
That's your piece of privacy.
They don't have to explain nothing to you.
Yeah, but I'm your daughter.
No.
It doesn't matter.
Call me when you need to come and
I'll let you know if it's a good
time.
Okay?
Some children and some people, they get clever
about it.
We were just in the area.
I'm just going to drop by and see
how you're doing.
Even worse.
You know, in Surah An-Nur, Allah gives
permission to the believers to kick out their
guests when they take too long to leave.
Can you imagine if I did that?
Someone did that.
I was like, okay, well, you know, it's
almost 8 o'clock.
I think you should go now.
As-salamu alaykum.
You do it in a polite way, but
in Surah An-Nur, we're taught you don't
even have to be polite about it.
You can literally say to your guest, it's
time for you to go.
Yeah, the kids need to go to bed.
As-salamu alaykum.
Done.
You know, nobody can say, my God, that
was so rude.
How could you say this?
I'm never coming back here.
That's your choice.
But the people, sahib al-bayt, we say
in Arabic, people who own that home have
the rights to do that.
Prophet ﷺ is no exception.
You cannot waltz into his place just because
he's the Prophet, without his permission.
And if you're invited for a meal, إِلَّا
أَن يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ إِلَى طُعَامٍ غَيْرَ الْنَاظِرِينَ إِنَا
And if invited for a meal, do not
come too early and linger until the meal
is ready.
These rules are so specific.
So you got invited over for lunch or
something, you can't come over there like an
hour earlier and be like, yeah, yeah, oh,
I can hear just went in the oven,
okay, fine, don't worry.
We can just chill for an hour and
wait.
Can't do that.
Unless the host tells you, come over a
little early and relax and we'll chat.
That's a different scenario.
But you don't get to do that.
I don't know about you guys, but there
are so many cultures that this area will
make no sense to them whatsoever.
They'll just be like, whoa, where did this
come from?
This goes against everything I've ever known and
grew up with my entire life.
I have to go and I have to
be invited.
And once I arrive there, then I still
have to seek permission to get in.
And if I got invited for a meal,
I can't come too early.
I got to come somewhere around the time
when the meal should be ready.
It's crazy.
There are cultures that don't even pay attention
to verses like this.
They don't even think about these things.
Islam takes nothing for granted.
When you're going into somebody's place of privacy,
that's enough of a reason for you to
show this level of courtesy.
Does anybody like have we gone through the
etiquettes of visiting someone that's found in the
Qur'an?
So in this surah as well as in
Surah An-Nur, we get a set of
etiquettes that you have to follow anytime you
visit somebody.
Especially, not even especially if it's a stranger,
anybody's home.
First thing you do is you announce that
you're coming.
This is the first thing.
So you should try your very best to
abstain from surprising anybody and just suddenly showing
up out of the blue.
Don't do that.
There's nothing in the Sunnah that encourages that.
Why?
Because you have no idea what's happening on
the other side.
So the first thing is don't come unannounced.
Announce that you'll be in the area so
-and-so day and time and you want
them to know.
You want to let them know somehow whether
it's a text or a call or what
have you.
Number two, depending on the response, you get
there.
Let's say you get a response.
Sure, that's no problem.
We're home.
Swing by.
Now you get there.
The second thing is use your discretion and
give the host a time or at least
a period.
I'll be there in about an hour or
I'll be there but I won't stay too
long.
Maybe 10 minutes.
Just wanted to say hello.
Just wanted to pick something up.
Just wanted to drop.
Give them some kind of insight of what
exactly you're coming over to do and how
long you might be there.
For the same idea, you don't know if
the husband and wife in that house just
had the biggest fight of their entire marriage
before you decided to show up.
You have no idea the war that's been
going on and the problems and the stress
and the arguments and all the other issues
that somebody might be experiencing in their house.
All of those things have to be taken
into consideration.
So the second thing is you want to
give some indication of what you're coming over
for and how long you'll be staying.
Number three.
Now you're about to get.
Now you arrive at the house.
The third thing the Prophet ﷺ does.
This is found in various hadith but it's
alluded to in Surah Al-Nur.
You ring the bell at least how many
times?
At least three times.
So three times.
You wait there.
How long do you wait before hopefully somebody
opens the door?
Let's say you got a text back.
They said come by.
You came.
You followed everything.
You came at the time you said you
were going to arrive.
You ring the doorbell.
Nobody answers.
Use your discretion.
The ulama, they don't give a specific amount
of time from one knock or doorbell to
the next one.
Use your discretion.
So sometimes it's just a few seconds.
It's just a brief moment.
So you ring the doorbell.
You just wait.
Some people wait really long in this before
they touch that doorbell again.
They wait ten seconds or so.
Then they'll ring it a second time.
And then they'll ring it a third time.
Could you maybe squeeze in a fourth ring
or is three the cutoff?
So what happens if you do it four
or five times?
Then you're really not going to get an
invite to these people's home again.
Listen, three is the sunnah.
It's not the limit.
There is no ayah or hadith that says
you're sinful for doing more.
But three is considered good courtesy to the
host.
Maybe four or five times might be a
little annoying.
Maybe one time is going to be not
enough.
You just rang the bell once.
Oh, I was in the bathroom when you
happened to be here.
You couldn't ring it a second time?
So in the middle, three is what seems
to be okay for most people.
But just remember that the sunnah doesn't tell
you to stop there.
That's how the Prophet saw that that was
best and most courteous to the host.
But he never tells anybody do not do
this more than three times.
No.
So you have to use your own discretion,
especially like you might visit some friends or
family, elderly people that take some time to
get down the stairs, find where their cane
is, put on something, and that all stuff
takes time and it takes like really, really
long time to get towards the front door.
So use your courtesy and decide whether you
need to do that more than three times
or not.
But the general rule of thumb is three
is enough.
Now, the door opens.
Where are you?
You never, ever, ever.
This is the biggest, biggest, most important rule
when visiting anybody.
You never stand in front of the door
when it's about to open.
Don't ever do this.
Be the person that can do your best
to shift away so that when the door
opens that the first image you get of
the person or their home, you're not there
to see and absorb that first image.
But rather, you want to ensure that the
person who opens the door is comfortable and
then they kind of like, are you there?
Yes, yes, I'm here.
Or you do it.
It's just all out of courtesy, right?
Just thinking of others.
You kind of like hesitate.
Then you sorely sort of creep towards the
front of the door just to ensure that
you don't see something you're not supposed to
see.
That's the whole bottom line.
He might come and open the door but
his wife may still not have her hijab
on properly behind him somewhere.
Or the hallway of the door is somehow
connected to the kitchen so you can still
see her.
Her sleeves are rolled up and she's doing
her thing.
You don't need to see that.
These little subtleties in between is why you
try not to stand in front of the
door when somebody opens up.
You do this with the care that they
may not be thinking of the things you're
thinking about.
You're thinking about these moments that you may
see something you shouldn't even if the host
is not thinking any of that.
To them it's no big deal.
But to you it is.
It's part of the akhlaq of the deen
that you want to hold on to.
And you don't have to be awkward about
this either.
You don't need to stand behind the front
porch.
That's just creepy.
So don't do that.
Just stand beside the door, ring the bell,
and just be normal again.
Show your akhlaq.
And then the last etiquette is despite that
you were invited and welcomed, you never enter
somebody's home until they say, they give you
the official welcome, come on in.
Some kind of indication, come on in.
You know, it's happened to people before where
you were invited, but from the time you
got invited to the time that you arrived,
a lot had happened in that house.
And it's happened to people before where when
the host opens up, they're expecting you, but
they stand there and they're like, um, listen,
you know, some things have changed.
Can we do this another time?
And they literally stand right in front of
the door.
That's it.
You say, no problem.
It's all good.
I'll drive right back home.
Done.
Are you serious?
We chanceled the whole day?
Too bad.
Who cares?
That's not their problem.
Oh my god, I prepared just, you know,
these nice desserts.
I thought we're gonna...
Things have changed.
Too bad.
Go home.
That's the end of it.
So all of this now is going to
be captured, but then there are specific rules
only to him ﷺ.
So the next rule that's very specific to
him is, don't come too early and then
just hang around until the meal is ready.
Does anybody know why this was given to
him ﷺ?
Why is this rule highlighted for him?
Don't come and sit there and just talk.
Don't come too early and don't stay until
the...
and then sit there and linger until the
meal is ready.
What's the point of this etiquette when you're
visiting the Prophet ﷺ?
What's the point?
Hmm?
Okay.
He's a busy man.
He's the leader of the entire ummah.
He can't make small talk.
He just can't do it.
And it's amazing just how much people really
need this part of the verse just for
their own, like, courtesy of others just to
remember that even despite you're not visiting no
Prophet, but you still might be visiting somebody
who's pretty busy, who's got a lot of
responsibilities.
Right?
So just because this is specific to him
does not mean that we shouldn't take any
lessons out of this as well.
But you, if you are invited, so then
Allah continues, وَلَكِنِ إِذَا دُعِيتُمْ فَادْخُلُوا So if
you got invited, then enter.
فَإِذَا طَعِمْتُمْ فَانْتَشِرُوا Now Allah literally spells it
out.
Then enter.
Once you finish eating, فَإِذَا طَعِمْتُمْ فَانْتَشِرُوا, then
go, leave, go on your way.
As soon as you're done eating, go your
way.
All of us know cultures that don't do
that.
When you're done eating, what do a lot
of people wait for after that?
Dessert.
Then after dessert, what do you wait for
after that?
Then you got some tea.
Then after tea, anything else that we're missing?
Maybe a goodbye package of some sweets or
something.
Yeah.
All of these things on the one hand,
culturally, they may be perfectly fine.
But Islamically, there's bad manners when you visit
somebody's house to expect that kind of treatment.
It's bad akhlaq.
The akhlaq you should have whenever you visit
somebody is you embrace whatever khidmah or service
they provide you, period.
You know?
I lived in an apartment in Medina for
one year alone.
And I'm a student.
I'm not married.
I'm by myself in this apartment, okay?
And when you're single like me, the only
thing you have in your apartment is water.
You may have a bag of chips somewhere
That's it.
Because you're a student, right?
You just go to McDonald's or you go
to some fast food joint and that's where
you eat and then you're done.
You come home, you sleep, you go and
you study.
Subhanallah, it was just by Allah.
One day, somebody knocks the door and it
happened to be a sheikh that I don't
know but he certainly looked like one.
So he said assalamu alaykum.
He had two brothers with him and they
introduced themselves and they said that we come
from so and so center where we do
dawah and we provide pamphlets and booklets for
people in all languages from around the world.
So we came to visit some of the
students we heard that live in this building.
Are you one of those students?
I said yeah.
And then he asked me where am I
from?
I said I'm from Canada.
I speak English.
Boom, all good.
I'm still standing at the door and they're
still in the hallway and we're talking like
this.
So what do you think I do?
I say tafadalu like do you guys want
to come in and then we can continue
talking.
They came in.
The akhlaq of the believer is that you
should at least give them something.
Prophet alayhis salatu was salam always said it.
There's a famous hadith is that you always
treat your guests the way that you expect
them to treat you, right?
So you would expect that when you go
to somebody's house they would at least offer
you something to like drink, right?
I got nothing.
My water is completely empty.
I have nothing in the fridge.
Not even like an apple that I could
cut in four, nothing.
So we all sat on the floor in
my apartment.
I looked at each other and then the
sheikh says you know, he tells me in
a polite way but I could see it
all over his face.
He says in a nice polite way.
He's like do you think that maybe we
can get some water to drink?
So I look at the sheikh.
I said sheikh all I have is tap
water and then I said I'm a student
you know when the water's finished I have
to wait till the truck passes by so
I can purchase the water and they didn't
come today and subhanallah the point here is
that the sheikh reminded me of this ayah
here that he goes listen, you know I
know you're a student and you came to
study so just remember that.
He started quoting this verse to me and
I had no idea what he's talking about
I just felt horrible.
I couldn't even give this man a cup
of water so you better believe that after
they left I had water in my house
24 hours a day after that right?
Lesson learned.
But the point is you see the impression
that it left on me 20 plus years
ago till now don't take this stuff for
granted because when somebody visits you the courtesy
you show is like your thumbprint on them
they'll remember that for the rest of their
life so you want to ensure that even
if you don't go above and beyond it
you at least do the basic and so
once you have eaten and you go on
your way whatever it is that they gave
you you don't go back in the car
and you're like oh my god last time
I invited them I gave them a nice
hot meal I barely look at this juice
it's expired yesterday and that's what they gave
me to drink today.
You don't get to do that.
There's so many people that do stuff like
that they become like critics of those who
they visited after they are like oh my
god yeah their chicken was okay you know
didn't have that much taste I make it
way better those kind of comments all the
barakah and the blessing is gone when you
do that so these etiquettes here don't take
them lightly students once you have eaten then
go your way and do not stay for
casual talk what just happened at first
Allah tells us don't enter don't come too
early and linger around then Allah specifies here
don't sit and just make small talk so
some of the scholars put that together and
they said that basically you're discouraged from coming
too early because it opens the door for
that for small talk so why you try
to be prompt and on time rather than
coming too early is so that you avoid
this casual talk because it's not something that
the Prophet peace be upon him is engaged
with and the general rule of thumb is
when you go to people of Islam and
scholars and people of religion you treat them
the same way okay these are the inheritors
of Prophets so similar etiquette is also shown
when you go and you visit the shuyuh
or other scholars and so on then Allah
continues such behavior is truly annoying this is
so true this is the kind of thing
that's annoying to the Prophet peace be upon
him but he's too shy to tell you
to leave that's so true forget about now
just the Prophet you know most of us
are probably like this where if the guest
is a little too much I don't want
to say annoying but a little too much
you don't know how to tell him you
don't know how to just be like okay
you know that's enough for the past four
hours we've heard your voice mashallah very powerful
voice you know and in some house they
try the clever ways and some people just
don't get it they'll be like this like
I just want to make sure my watch
is still working it is almost midnight yeah
and then you know you try like okay
kids go put on your PJs go get
to bed now okay it's getting late and
they're still not getting it so that's what
is being highlighted here is that the whole
bottom line is the Prophet peace be upon
him of his etiquette he's not going to
ask you to leave his house that's just
not something that he would do and what
you learn from that is the people of
Islam generally are like this as well they
carry the same akhlaq they're not going to
tell their guests okay it's time for you
to leave even they know that there are
ayat that permit them to do that they
still won't do it just because of courtesy
and culture and so on but Allah is
never shy of the truth if
you're going to the believers ask his wives
for anything ask them from behind a barrier
this is pure for your hearts and theirs
so in other words you know what's happened
here the ruling now has officially been legislated
that if you are going to talk to
any of the wives of the Prophet peace
be upon him ask them a question about
Islam get a verdict or a ruling on
something you cannot do that face to face
you have to do it now behind a
curtain this rule is exclusive to the wives
of the Prophet peace be upon him this
is not something that is implemented in masajids
and institutes across the world that where if
you need to speak to a sister you
got to speak to her behind the door
everybody understand what I'm alluding to here there
are masajids that have this like separated section
and if you have to talk to the
sisters you'll knock on a door that separates
the brothers from the sister side and the
only way is you wait for a voice
yes brother what can we do for you
kind of thing that is fine but it's
not necessary the only thing that was necessary
is that it was wajib when you're speaking
to the best of the best, the elite
women, the wives of the Prophet peace be
upon him we've already seen in the surah
that there are certain rules that are established
for them that are not for the general
public this is one of them so when
you ask from them ask them of anything,
ask from behind a barrier, this is pure
for your hearts and theirs how?
how is talking to them from behind a
barrier pure for my heart and theirs, how?
in what way?
okay even for like companions like if Umar
radiallahu anhu you know wanted to ask one
of the wives a question about something like
you're not going to get anybody better than
him and he comes and he still has
to do this because Allah says it's better
for your heart, Umar, and for their hearts,
the wives so what is Allah indirectly bringing
our attention to by saying this, it's better
for your heart what happens to the heart
if you don't have this barrier what happens
to the heart because that's what's being singled
out, your hearts and their hearts, what happens
to the hearts if there's no barrier then
how?
it gets corrupted, how?
you see how important this is when you
understand how it works then you understand exactly
how to protect yourself and protect others from
this stuff, okay is there still the possibility
of small talk even when you're asking a
question yeah salam alaikum sister oh is that
you so and so yeah I recognize your
voice okay okay I know it's you then
okay okay, yeah so listen I've got this
question, by the way do you have time
to see all of that that's the thing
that starts to corrupt the heart, remember this
whole ayah so far pointed at one thing,
that you can't go to his house unless
you're invited you can't come too early because
you'll just get small talk and because of
his akhlaq he can't tell you to be
quiet, he can't kick you out because he's
just not gonna do that, it all pointed
to something, the one thing that starts to
upset the hearts of believers is when you
start off with small talk useless conversations is
a gateway to destroying and corrupting the heart
in this ayah, useless conversations are the gateway
to destroying the hearts even the best of
the best had to have rules in place
from Allah when they talk to each other
that's why Allah says this is actually pure
for your heart, the questioner and these wives
and their hearts too, which means that there's
a possibility that it could still happen to
both of you even though you both are
the best there are no women that are
going to be greater and more elite in
the sight of Allah than these women, Allah
still says put a barrier there so if
it happens to them, what about everybody else
so it's no joke, the rules that are
happening, that are being laid out in this
ayah and then finally okay the gas is
running out people وَمَا كَانَ لَكُمْ أَن تُؤْذُوا
رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَلَا أَن تَنكِحُوا أَزْوَاجَهُ مِن بَعْدِهِ
أَبَدًا إِنَّ ذَلِكُمْ كَانَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ عَظِيمًا wow
and this and it is not right for
you to annoy the messenger of Allah you
see the difference Allah says it's not right
وَمَا كَانَ لَكُمْ is not the same as
that Allah prohibiting you from doing this Allah
says it's not proper it's not nice for
you to annoy or upset or inconvenient the
prophet you see the difference meaning it might
happen and you should use your own discretion
to tell yourself you know what maybe I'm
talking too much maybe I'm staying here too
long maybe I should just you know really
they keep looking at their watch all the
time maybe I should look at mine too
and be like okay let me put this
together it's time for me to go nor
he ever marry his wives after which obviously
we've established nobody can marry the wives of
the prophet after they have married him so
that's also that door is also a bit
closed for them this would certainly be a
major offense in the sight of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala so a whole set of
house rules and visitation laws are given in
this ayah and we shall yeah we shall
pause there because what will happen is this
section will take us to the end of
the surah so just want to give you
guys an insight of what to expect inshallah
ta'ala after when we return in the
new year after the winter break we will
finish off this surah in one session inshallah
and then we jump into a brand new
surah which I've already put together and have
that prepared for you so inshallah ta'ala
just look out for the announcements for the
next semester but for you students specifically here
for surah al ahzab just keep in mind
it will be advertised that way as well
is that we will have the conclusion of
surah al ahzab and then the new course
beginning at the same time inshallah ta'ala
okay so let's just pause here inshallah ta
'ala and we ask Allah azawajal that for
all of us to be safe and inshallah
continue the journey of learning and practicing his
deen and uplifting ourselves our hearts and our
lives in a way that Allah is pleased
with and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
keep us all happy, content, safe in this
world and reunite us together min jadatul firdawsil
a'la Allahumma ameen some of you are
going for umrah, I will be there as
well inshallah ta'ala so hopefully we will
see some of you during the winter break
there bismillah so having said that let's pause
here until the new year and especially to
the students online may Allah azawajal bless you
all for joining us every week and for
staying consistent with us, may Allah reward you
and we hope to see you in the
new year that you continue inshallah ta'ala
May Allah reward you well Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi
wabarakatuh