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3 Reminders When Feeling Lonely

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Muiz Bukhary

Channel: Muiz Bukhary

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Episode Transcript

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I'd like to begin with greetings of peace As salam o Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Now I may not be in a position to come sit by you and offer comforting words. But I really hope that this video and the reminders that I hope to touch on in this video will help you if you are feeling lonely inshallah.

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We are all in the midst of this pandemic. And loneliness is, I would say, a natural byproduct due to the landscape that we are all upon and it's truly unprecedented, you know, the feelings of loneliness, a lot of us going through it, were finding it challenging. We're finding it difficult to cope with, you know, and if you if you look around right now my part of the world we are in a complete lockdown as I speak. There are other countries that are in a partial lockdown, like let's say the Maldives and I was reading the other way that the other day that even in Malaysia,

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you know, they've gone into a complete lockdown. We sincerely pray that Allah eases the affairs of everyone suffering, and we pray in general that Allah subhanho wa Taala uses all of our affairs opens doors of goodness for all of us and takes us all back to normalcy soon. I mean, now to continue before I get into the three reminders, I'd like to base this entire video on a beautiful Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam. Now this particular narration is recorded in the book of Imam Muslim Rahim Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said, and the narration goes along the lines of these words, outcome a pilot alayhi

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salatu salam serba, pilot Morpher redo the Morpher redo have gone ahead. Now I intentionally did not define or translate the word Elmo thoroughly don't because we're going to address it in just a bit. So the Sahaba with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at that juncture. They asked the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam

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Yasser Allah woman Malmo for radon, or messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who are Al mufa, radon, and then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he now describes and defines who the Morpher radon is. He says in that particular Hadith that Kiruna Allah have Kathy run with that Chiara

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at that Girona Allah dichiarato so the men and women who remember Allah was absorbed in the remembrance of Allah subhanho wa Taala kathira, excessively. They, they remember Allah, they celebrate the praises of Eliza they glorify Allah subhanho wa Taala they tank Allah subhanho wa Taala excessively.

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Now you might be wondering,

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you know this, this video is addressing loneliness and how is this hadith related to the reminder. So if you take the word Elmo for redo now in the Arabic language, Elmo forbidden, the term, Elmo federate stems from

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far raw data, which has meanings of loneliness, or being lonely or being by oneself attached to it. And with that, I'd like to get into reminder, number one, and that is that we need to look at these moments of silence, these moments of solitude.

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See, for most of us, it's not by choice right? Now, for example, if you are forced into a lockdown, you really want to go out, but because of your own safety and the safety of others, and due to the fact that your authorities are telling you to stay at home, you choose to stay at home. For some, it's like a dream come true. But for others, they're grappling with it, they're finding it difficult, they want to go out, they want to, you know, socialize, mingle with people and do all of that. So they're finding it extremely difficult and it's, it's something that they're finding it so hard to, you know, come to terms with.

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But I want to change your perspective to it, there is a silver lining and as they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. I mean, this pandemic has come with its fair share of challenges, trials and difficulties. But along with that, if you want to carefully analyze there are silver linings to it as well. Then at the end of the day, we fall back on to the fact that you know, everything is part of the plan of the maker, the Almighty the all knowing Hola Hola, Hola. Hola, de lapinette there's no power, no mite, except from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So coming back to the reminder for someone who does not like to be alone. It will it will take time for you to actually you know, start

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to embrace it and for you to relish the time that you are getting.

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To spend by yourself. And this time, my dear brother, my dear sister, this, the DB is moments of solitude, these moments of silence, the minute you connect it to Allah subhanho wa Taala

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you are going to start savoring so many dimensions to those moments of solitude. As you become more and more mindful, as you become more and more conscious, as you start remembering him, as you start thanking Him, as you start glorifying him, these moments of solitude, become moments of introspection, where you start to love yourself, discover yourself, and in turn, you also spend time getting closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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And the words of the messenger, if you do this, Sabah, halmahera, Radeon,

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you have gone ahead Subhan, Allah, you have gone way ahead. So yes, it's challenging. And for a lot of us, we might end up brooding, going into these downward spirals, you know, going into this abyss of darkness, you know, where everything seems to be so negative, it's almost like we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And we're like, you know what, this is not going to end and then you're reading, you know, headlines, and then perhaps people are saying that it's going to go on for months, maybe it's going to go on for years, and you're thinking, Oh, you know what, I just can't do this anymore. But my dear brother, my dear sister,

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reminder, number one, remember that there is a silver lining, to every event that's happening in your life. And the fact that you are now getting an opportunity to spend time by yourself, to contemplate, to reflect, to introspect, cook, to get to know yourself better, to get closer to your maker, this is such a blessing. And that's how you need to look at it. You need to look at it in such a way that you are now tapping into yourself at a very

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deep level. You're tapping into yourself, you're tapping into your creative thoughts. So these moments, you know, you can really harness these moments of solitude, these moments of loneliness in a very, very powerful way. So you need to be able to channel your energy the right way. So these moments look at them as a gift from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Ah, now that's that's a complete shift in terms of how you look at these moments, instead of looking at these moments in a very negative way. Think about these moments as gifts from Allah azza wa jal.

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And once you start looking at these moments, as gifts all wrapped up for you, for you to open up and explore and find out your entire perspective changes for you to really up your game Subhan Allah, may Allah azza wa jal help us to make the most out of these moments. I mean, I mean, reminder number two, remember that things are not always going to be the same.

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You see, even when you take psychology, when you take the mind, there is this concept known as the the hedonic treadmill. And this concept basically tells us it educates us then that when talking about events in the life of an individual, we as human beings, we have been engineered, and experts talk about this, where it's, you know, you have this line that's running, and then you have a positive event that takes place in your life and you know, you spike, you go up, you know, you're in this invigorated mood, you are enthusiastic, you are motivated, you feel happy, you feel driven, you do all of that, right. So you are riding the high now. And then what happens is that, you know, you

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can't really be on that, on that spike for too long. After a period of time, let's say whatever it may be, let's say it's an amazing event that took place in your life, maybe it's a promotion at work, maybe you bought something new, some materialistic possession, some new, let's say, you got married, you got a child, you know, all of these events, okay, these beautiful good events will take you right up. But you won't remain there, my dear brother, my dear sister, eventually you will come back down to that stable level, your life continues. Now. Similarly, negative events, the loss of a loved one, financial loss, let's say bad news about a health situation. You crash, you know, you go

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into this downward spiral. But again, you have to bear in mind that you're not going to stay there. We're being engineered as such that we have it within us to get back on track, the hedonic treadmill, so eventually after going down, yeah, you you will go down, no doubt. It's all about ups and downs. It was almost like a roller coaster ride. But eventually you get back to that stable state and you keep going in other words,

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Time heals, as they say, right? Time heals. So after a period of time you get back on track, you move on. So you have all these terminologies, Time heals, you move on life continues, you have all of this that basically tells you that eventually, I mean, firstly, one thing that it tells you is that these things are not permanent. Number two is that you will eventually move on. So now right now, if you're in this abyss of doom and gloom, thinking, oh my god, you know what, I'm going to be stuck here forever. No, insha, Allah, Diana, things will change, they will get back to the bat. And you have to constantly keep praying for that and firmly believe in that La hawla wala quwata illa

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illa Billah there is no power, no mighty except from a lion and it is in his hands. And we sincerely pray for normalcy. Alright.

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Reminder, number three.

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And this reminder, is basically that you need to tell yourself, that you shouldn't be taking these moments of loneliness, personally, so much to the extent that you feel where you start to hate yourself. You feel that you're not worthy of the company of others. Because sometimes, you know, what happens is you have these voices in your head, and they start telling you, you know what, you're in this position. Nobody cares about you. Nobody calls you nobody's texting you, you're in this lonely, lonely situation, because you are not worthy. And you, you know, you go down this downward spiral, of loading yourself of despising yourself, of hating yourself. Now, these negative

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and what's the word self sabotaging thoughts, they they are the true mental, and they're easy to fall into as well. And this is why you should not love it. Spiritually from a spiritual angle. You can even categorize this, under waswas, from these evil whisperings of Chopin, and this is why we constantly seek refuge in Allah from the waswas of alkalinize men Shetland was, was in harness, because these evil whisperings, they they put you into this downward spiral, they make you feel as if you're not worth it, you're not productive enough, you're not achieving enough. See, you obviously have to have high aspirations, I'm not saying just be content with where you are, as in,

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you see, it's multifaceted you, you need to have a sense of contentment, but you also need to be driven.

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It's all about striking a balance. You can't be like, you know what, I can't be bothered having high aspirations because I'm just happy with where I am. And you can't settle for mediocre. Nor can you you know, take the feelings of being driven and motivated and kill yourself about it, you know, I mean, put yourself into this abyss and, and beat yourself up, that's right to beat yourself up. Because, you know, you feel like you're not productive enough, you're not achieving enough, you're not doing this enough, you're not doing that enough. And that that will result in negative consequences. So it's all about striking a balance where Yes, you are content with where Allah has

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placed you right now with what Allah has given you. But along with that, you have high aspirations, you're striving for excellence, the concept of ehsaan you're striving for excellence and you don't hate yourself. Why? Because all of what is within you and around you was given to you by Allah subhanho wa Taala, your family, your loved ones, your job and beat materialistic possessions, be it relationships, be it family members, beat social standing, whatever it is, everything was given to you by Allah is a virgin. So by looking down upon all of that, you are not developing an attitude of gratitude, but rather, you're being ungrateful. And as Allah says in the Quran, Allah insha Allah as

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he then.

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So basically, the understanding is that if you render gratitude and Allah is going to give you many fold. So it's very important not to, I mean, you need to discipline yourself. Now when you notice that, okay, you are in these moments of isolation, you're feeling lonely. You need to discipline yourself, you need to be aware of the stories of the narratives that your mind tells you. These voices and you need to nip

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the wrong ones, the nasty ones in the bud. Don't let them grow. Don't let them take deep root in your mind and become an obstacle in terms of you moving forward. So my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, I hope that these three reminders will benefit if you have not subscribed to my channel go ahead, hit the subscribe button hit the little bell next to the subscribe button as well so that you receive a notification no sooner a video a new video goes live in charlo Thailand I look forward to talking to you all in another video soon inshallah. Allah does that. Come back here was lmra calm Rahmatullahi wa barakato