Parenting #08

Muhammad West


Channel: Muhammad West


File Size: 15.76MB

Episode Notes

Help! I’m losing my child to sin!

  • Children are trying to decide who they are and where they fit in the world.
  • These are decisions we as parents cannot make for them.
  • We need to let go and allow them to choose even if they will make mistakes.
  • You cannot keep them from the world so teach them to engage with the world.
  • Have frequent dialogue and initiate hard conversations.
  • Most of us made the biggest mistakes during our youth.
  • Yet remember, no one is without hope.
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shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala HF mursaleen signum manual Allah Allah he also got married with our brothers and sisters a cinematic maroc with Allahu wa barakatu Alhamdulillah herbal Allah mean operation to Allah subhanho wa Taala I should have allow you know how to lead the witness that there is none worthy of worship besides Allah subhanaw taala and we send our loving greetings Salutations, beloved Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam is pious and pure family to his companions and all those who follow we shouldn't until the end of time, may almost panatela bliss has to be amongst them. Meanwhile, hamdulillah we continue

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from Allah with our series on parenting Part Eight of the series. And this I have, it's been a while we've read it so many times and going through the series because it relied so much more insight than we understand this is a much deeper way when almost pantalla says, de la, Himachal sumati Well, to Allah belongs the kingdom, the dominion of the humans and the earth. yanapuma Shah, he creates whatever he wishes, you have Lima Yasha inasa that He bestows upon any gifts to whomever he wants female children and girls, where you have all your show with the court or the court and he gives to whomever he wishes males will use a widow who Khurana were in alpha that he gives you the both boys

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and girls to some way or Jeremiah show akima. And to some he causes them to have no children. He didn't mince them, barren in the honeymoon period, that he has all knowledge Allah Spangler is very knowledgeable, he knows exactly whom he gives what and why he gives him why he withholds whatever Allah gives and takes his with knowledge. And he is carrying his judgment that his father will always come to pass. And so it's quite a lot. In the series, we spoke about very difficult moments one can have with your children and your children can be the greatest blessing and the greatest joy of your life may not be the case for my children, your child, I mean, but it can also be the most

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difficult test that Allah pantalla has placed upon you that you want can be tested with children so many ways you could be decent, that Allah hasn't given you any children. And all Allah subhanaw taala has given you children that are sick, disabled, struggling, or spine, Allah you have been disciplined Allah, you know, make it easy for all those who have been tested. Elias de su by losing a child beating a child to analog, one of those difficulties for any parent is to lose a child. But perhaps in even more difficulties than to bury one's child is to see one's child loving, healthy, fine, but they have left the path of Allah subhanaw taala. Either they have gone towards the path of

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sin. Or even worse than that they have completely lifted the level up. What do we do in a situation like this. And last week, we spoke about adolescence, and it is a very traumatic time, not only for children, but for parents maybe even more traumatic for parents to have teenage children and trying to communicate with them and to raise them. So we said last week, that this is the time of the life of a human being that they are for the first time thinking almost independently. As they move out of being a child, they start developing their own sense of identity. And they are trying to decide who they are and where they fit in the world. They are going to decide at this moment in time, what kind

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of man or woman they're going to grow up into being. And we cannot make this decision for them. As parents, we cannot impose our will upon them. They need to discover the world for themselves, they will take part of what we give them part of the upbringing that we've given them are just pieces of the puzzle. But ultimately, it's for them to bring it together and complete the picture. And ultimately spiral no matter what we do or what we say. And we mentioned right at the beginning, our job as parents is really to prepare them for this moment, the moment when we let go, we let go of them. And the choice now is in their hands. And we hope and we pray that we have given them enough

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guidance. And we've given them enough support, that when they are free to make the choices, they will make the right choices in sha Allah and that even if they make mistakes and who of us as have made mistakes. It is a moment and a time for them to learn as they move into adulthood. And finally it says the tsunami is also Nabis also Nam was not afraid. In fact, he encouraged giving young people the freedom to make their own choices and giving them responsibility of the last things he did very solid before he passed away. He prepared an army which was going to fight the Romans, which was the most powerful empire in the world. So it's a very important mission. And he placed in charge

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of that army Osama or the Alon, Osama bin Zayed son of the adopted son of the resource Allah sama. And he was not even 20 years old and it was just a teenager, and many of the seniors who harbor they complain to the abusers on them. How can you give this young boy such a senior serious position and in his sickness that IV Salam was dying, he came out and he smoked the Sahaba and telling them how much he loved Osama and how he is ready to do this and my decision is final. So Subhan Allah, the prophet Salaam gave lots of encouragement and interest he placed in in young people and from the local Senado was very successful in his campaign. And so we learned from the tsunami is also land

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where it is better for us to give young people to give our kids the space to make the decisions even if it means they would make a few mistakes, give them the space and allow them

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That freedom when to force them to rebel against us and to fight against us and give them a safe environment to learn, and to practice their freedom at this point in time when they reach this age now, and they are independent adults or adults, which means they have their own free will. And that is why I love Why Allah calls you McAuliffe, you are now responsible that even though in our eyes, they're still young, they're still our children, they're still out the babies in our eyes, but in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala. They are young men and women, and they are accountable, Allah is writing, they reward all the sins against them. And so at this point in time, like any adult, we

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cannot force someone and take away the right to choose, all we can do is reason with him. At this point in time as a parent, you can only be an advisor, and try to speak and reason with him so that they can understand. And this is explained based in the Hadith of the young man who wanted zero we know this very famous Hadith when this young teenage boy came for the release of a lamp in the middle of the masjid in front of all the Sahaba and he said, Oh lobby, give me permission to come unseen. I want to come and Xena I want to sleep with this woman make it hard for me. And the other Sahaba was so upset they got up and they started shouting at him. And then I'll be so solemn

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basically told him to keep quiet. And he told the young boy Come here, come here, my son and sit down and be brought this boy very close to him. And so instead of arguing with him, instead of telling him I'm gonna be and I said no. And if you're going to want to be a Muslim, then you need to follow this agenda. Look at the way that I be Salaam explained with logic and reason. He said to him, Well, young boy, my dear boy, you want to come and see now with this girl? Do you want someone to sleep with your mother? Or your sister or your auntie or your daughter? Would you like that? How would you feel if they did these things? And he said, I wouldn't like that. And so the navitas

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allowances. And so everyone no one wants this to happen to the daughter don't do it to another man's daughter or wife or child. And so even the Beatles Allah Minh beautifully placed his hand on this boy and he made a new eye and he says Oh ALLAH forgive him for ever since he's made and purify his heart and guide him and God is chastity in another generation that i've you know, said to him, when a young boy, you should hate what Allah hates. And you should love your brother, what you love for yourself. And the reason this boy never off the rack normal of course is partly to do often abusers or even the desire for Xena a diminished from his heart and soul. And a lot of this was far more

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powerful than abuse or something I'm speaking about the the depth of Jana, but you will be if you come and see it explained in a way that made sense because now you're not a child, you don't need to be scared to do things or be frightened, you know, guilted into doing certain things or other reason and logic insha Allah should be enough for a person to understand. And this is the way in which we should engage with our young adults. And also we should remember the world we live in. As parents, we only have one voice amongst many, many other competing voices. Yes, they are listening to us, but they're also listening to the friends they're listening to the teachers. They're listening to

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society, the news, what's in the media. And unfortunately, the environment that we live in is very toxic. And the messaging that they are getting is, as we know, in many cases, not the best messaging, it's in fact encouraging in certain ways, how I'm telling them to to express themselves in a way which is an Islamic, and so we should always remember that they are getting so little Islamic or correct guidance. And if you are not having conversations with our parents, that's even worse because we're not hearing our parents. If we come to the masjid once a week for Juma, we're only listening to a half an hour of some guidance from the Imam, we should always make a point that

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our children are having an open dialogue constantly with some kind of mentor from an Islamic perspective, and so that they can always have a point of reference when it comes to right and wrong. And so

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this competing environment that they're in, we can't isolate them and we can't insulate them from the world they live in we've beyond that point we live in a very free society and they will be exposed to that a question that some people have asked Should I allow my kids to have non Muslim friends because even though that Alhamdulillah we have you know beautiful non Muslim friends and neighbors and colleagues, but of course certain ideologies would automatically brush off as we spoke last week about the Salah of perfume versus the the blacksmith it won't imprint themselves on our children so what about non Muslim friends? Of course nothing wrong to have a non Muslim friend Allah

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practices in the Quran lie and ha como La Nina Nina lamp you quality local for Dini wala mu comin dare come that Allah does not forbid you from acting and Tamara over taco see to to act kindly and justly with those that do not fight you because of your deen they do not harm you out of your religion or your resume in the article as a way to warn you they're not they do not harm you in terms of your dunya in a likable mock city and Allah loves that you always act justly with everybody Muslim or non Muslim alike. And so any person that does not persecute you in your deen and perhaps not only persecuting but a person that is challenging your DNA a person that is actively trying to

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harm you as a Muslim such a person of course we should not allow in a very close circle of friends but good decent people with open to have friends like that, but we

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Also then as parents, and as young people understand that they are going to be differences between the way they see the world, you know, it's okay for them to dress in a certain way not okay for isolation a certain way. It's okay perhaps, to engage in purvey perspective for genders to act in a certain way, we will know as Muslims that there are rules and regulations. And so as you know, appearance, we can't keep our kids from the world. So the best we can do is to teach them how to engage with the world, and satellites. Amazing that, you know, we take these young children that know very little, and in a few years, we can educate them to be doctors and lawyers, fly planes,

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and, you know, ride cars, drive cars, and they can do so many things, amazing things with a proper education and nurturing. And so we should also think, train them how to make correct decisions of morality. This is something which seldomly gets taught what is right and wrong. And as parents, we have that responsibility to have that dialogue. And we should be the ones to ask them the questions. What is your view on atheism? What is your view on homosexuality? How would you know that there isn't Allah? Why is it wrong for a Muslim to do this? And to do that? Why do you think Allah has forbidden these things, we should actually challenge them and see that they they have the ability

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to, to respond and that they form the opinion correctly. And we should also, of course, as parents, we should explain to them the boundaries that yes, you're free now. And it's your choice. jamoke, Allah, Allah, Allah has given you the right to decide for yourself, but these are the boundaries. And if they ask, why should Why are those boundaries they, it is important for us to be able to explain the wisdom and experience if we ourselves don't know, the reason why Allah has made something haram or halal, why Islam has done certain things in a certain way, then we should educate ourselves. The The problem lies with us as parents not knowing. And we live in a time where it's not

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enough to say, Because I said so as a parent. That is how that that is what the Imam said, and so we obey, we beyond that point. Now. Now it's about critically looking at every aspect and finding the truth in Islam. And so when it comes to, you know, them becoming adults, we can explain to them what's right and wrong, we can give them advice in terms of the pros and the cons. But ultimately, it is the decision to make. And so we should not be overly critical about the views that they hold, and the decisions that they make. Now remember, we are going through a phase of of formulating their opinions, they are learning and they're deciding, and sometimes panela some children, they will

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learn just by you advising them and that's enough other kids from Allah make it easy for them, they will only learn through consequences and perhaps the best way to learn is they need to, you know, learn the consequences of bad actions. And so once they understand that this wisdom in the Sharia, through experience is behind a lot perhaps that's when they learn and the more we try to hold them back will not get the message across Of course we call allow our kids to make all the mistakes and not intervene in certain situations and as a parent you must decide which lessons they need to learn the hard way and when we need to intervene forcefully. Now, what happens if spinal locked and you

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know it happens to any it can happen to any child, it can happen mother protect my children, your children in the best of households, we in spite of the police upbringing, in spite of the best environment, they still something goes really wrong. And they really go off course in a adulthood that we all come at seventh but certain decisions might be far more serious. As I said living a very sinful lifestyle. In a completely up turning away from the dino even way of the villa becoming more thought what do we do so the first thing as parents, naturally as a parent, you will be destroyed and shattered. And as a parent, you might even begin to blame yourself. Now we is only normal to

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look at ourselves and then we do the right thing. When we give them too much freedom too little freedom they do not expose them to enough Islamic knowledge. This is something that is we are going to we're going to deal with remember even in the base of households let me know son died a disbeliever the base of households habil instead of loving Adam killed his brother in the base of households lobby our coop 10 brothers through never use in a well tried to kill him Subhanallah even the household of MBs the household of the best of parents and teachers we found that shavon is able to mislead even the base of the base and unlock the minds even then a middle Salaam when his uncle

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died in disbelief this authority was like a father to him. And the professor was so devastated at the data of all the promises alum continue to make do are under Allah said in Mecca letterhead even adopt that you are Muhammad Salam you don't give guidance to whom you want. It is not in your power, oh Father and mother to give your children guidance. You're not the one they can change their heart, lacking the law, like in the law if the mayor shall but it's a law alone who has the power to guide or to lead astray if he so wishes are who are alone will motorin and he knows best as to whom he guided and those who he did not guide and this is something as much as you have a relationship with

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your children. Remember that child has a relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and you cannot come between him and her and Allah subhanaw taala that is his or her own path to trade. And so it is also they as much as

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is our responsibility to guide them and to show them the path. Ultimately it is the responsibility to walk it. And so Allah Subhana Allah says about the bunnies, right you'll those with Nabi Musa, we also showed them and guided them that they sold did not obey when Allah says Allah Mazar who as our Hello hooba home, that once that they deviated, then they turned away from a lot, a lot of time their hearts away from him or Lola Coleman fancy thing, and Allah will not guide a people who have knowingly commit sin. And so young people as long as they do not come back to Allah subhanaw taala. They themselves will not be able to reach that guidance and perhaps an IRA which reason it's so much

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especially when you talk to young people that no matter how much you reason with him, no matter how much you speak to them softly, kindly, forcefully, no matter how many arguments you make, how many times you basically beat them in a debate. They refuse to see the truth. Allah Subhana Allah says for eight minutes, Allahu, Allahu Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah. Allah, Allah subhanahu wa Calvi,

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sorry if I may, it may mean that the law of Allah the Quran, Allah says, Have you not seen, He who has taken his own desires as his God, he has basically, given into his own desires, his own opinions, his own ones and intellect, he has elevated his own self as his robe. And Allah has therefore sent him astray upon knowledge a lot either of Syria, either Allah knowingly has let him go astray, because of making his own ILA is only focused on what he wants, and what he enjoys all that this person in spite of his knowledge, he still went astray. And so almost panda lift him to his own device. And then Allah set a seal on his hearing and upon his heart and covered his eyes.

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And so Allah says, so who will guide him off to Allah, who can give guidance, not your parents, not your teachers, not your email, no matter how many arguments we make, they will not be guided unless Allah subhanaw taala chooses them to be guided until they themselves come back to a loss of data.

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And so what do we do with a child that is, has now and is an adult, we cannot control them anymore. They've made some serious life decisions that are problematic is nothing no matter how much we've tried, there is no coming back or it doesn't seem like they are willing to listen or come back. What can we do so what is the approach that we take with a child that is what you have to be loved? You know, in drugs, a child that is living, you know, has left the humans living in harmony relationship was lifted Dean completely. We always begin with the soft and gentle approach final, we always tie softness and nice speaking and words and this goes back to spinal anatomy Mussa, we need to face up

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to the worst man of all time, which is fear on the your child is not as bad as Iran no matter how, what difficulties you have with your child, he or she is not Iran. And so when Allah says to me Musa go to Iran, for kulula, who Colin Lena, so go to their own Omarosa, and speak to him very gently and respectfully, perhaps he will be reminded, maybe something is going to trigger in his mind, or he will fear Allah subhanaw taala, we actually we will become conscious of Allah subhanaw taala. And so we continuously try persistently, with kindness kind words, reminders, we don't leave it just like that. But when we speak to them, we speak with wisdom and with kindness and advice, this is the

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first step. And if that perhaps doesn't work, then maybe a change of scenery. Maybe as parents we can get through but maybe someone else can get through maybe an uncle when he mom was a teacher, I mean, two can have a better influence on you, perhaps it's nothing that you're doing that is wrong, perhaps the environment, they're in the friends that are in the circle of company that they're in, and this Hadith, which gives so much hope we know about the man who killed 99 people again, this is a serial killer who killed 99 people, your son, your daughter, isn't it with Elijah, Allah is not anything close to this man, the serial killer, something triggered inside of him that I'm going to

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die, what's gonna happen to me? And he was thinking of repentance. And so he came to a very pious person, and he asked him, I have killed 99 people, can it pink now we're almost Mandela, forgive me. Then this this pious, this Wali of Allah said, You killed 99 people, and you think Allah is gonna forgive you, there's no repentance for you. And so the man then killed this very pious man, and therefore he killed 100 people. And then he again felt that he wants to repaint. And so he went to an early meeting to a scholar. Side note here, again, that when our kids seek advice, that if we give them the wrong advice, it can actually make things worse. And as parents sometimes the bad

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reaction is because we are giving them not the bad advice. We're trying to change them what we want to we are thinking we're giving a good advice, but maybe are arguing maybe our persistent nagging is causing them to act even a worse way. And if we're not equipped with certain challenges, and our kids can go through many different psychological challenges or moments in their life of trauma, then we need to leave it to a specialist in psychology or a specialist in the dean to give advice and so this man he

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First went to a very pious, a very good person, a sincere person asked him for advice. The one he gave the wrong advice and got killed, and the man killed 100 people. So that advice actually caused him to do even worse since then he goes to an island, a chef, you know, a person of knowledge. And he said, Look, I've killed 100 people can I repeat? And so the man says, well to you, what is stopping you from repenting? What? What? What? Why do you think that? Why are you even hesitating? Was it me saying to him, why did you even hesitate from the mercy of Allah, but I advise you to leave the town where you're living and go to a good place such in such a town, and then begin to

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worship Allah. So we say, look to change. You can't, if you stay in this environment, with these same friends with the same issues, you're going to continue with these bad habits. I mean, go out, live in a new environment, make a clean start and worship Allah and inshallah Allah will forgive you. And we know the Hadith continues that on his way to the city, he dies. And so two angels came down debating that this man, should he go to Germany, should he go to Japan, once he killed 100 people, he hasn't fully repented. The other said no, but he was on the road to repeat, he was going to repent. And so in this dispute, it was asked and Allah subhanaw taala informed the angels that

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they should measure which town he was closer to, and he was closer to the town of goodness, and further away from the evil town. And so they put him with the people of the good talents, Allah Subhana Allah basically forgave him because of his intention. Now, so much it can be said about this Hadith, so much we can take from it. Number one, the most important thing is the mercy of Allah is not limited in any way. Anyone who is sincere anyone who wants to repeat anyone who genuinely looks at their life, even if it's after 10 2050 years of sin, and says, No, I want to change now, and you have mountains of sin, nothing stops you, nothing stops you. Number two, go and get proper advice

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from the right people. And insha Allah, you will, you will be guided in the right way. And from this Hadeeth We also learned it doesn't matter if you reach the destination, so long as you're on the journey, so long as you are in the process, you know, span a lot. people struggle they made a mistake in their life and they continuously struggling with drug addiction, for example. And yes, they are on the wagon, and they're off the wagon, so long as they keep trying and they keep fighting, be evenly law that is enough for last minute Allah to forgive and to change your life and to for Allah subhanho wa Taala to constantly show His mercy upon you doesn't mean the struggle will

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will be over you'll probably struggle your entire life. But so long as you have not given up on Allah subhanaw taala Allah will not give up on you. We said speaking might be one approach speaking to the right people, when changing your environment, changing the friends that they have. What about the hot approach? What if, after all the talking and reasoning doesn't work? Should we then shun them, we ignore them, we cut them off, we kick them out of the house with this perhaps help. And shalin is a type of disciplinary measure. So shunning is a prescribed form of corrective measure in the Sharia is not meant so much as a punishment, or other or a way of inflicting harm on the person.

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But it is a tool to correct the behavior. We don't kick the person not because we hate them. We don't shun them because we hate them, or are they these because we love them, and it's gonna be so solemn at times, you would, as a form of rebuke as a form of showing that he was unhappy with the Sahabi, he would not acknowledge him, he would just ignore him for a few for a while. I mean, the Sahaba feel very bad. And it's finally eventually this will you get the message, the story of ghagra the line with a long Hadith and one of the nicest stories of the entire Sierra is the story of God who made a major sin. And then his punishment was that no one could speak to him for for about a

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month. And this release panela was a form of punishment, but ultimately it was a form of reforming him. And so when we shun we need to be moderate. And we need to understand is this helping or not helping? So if our kids for example, we should remember, if they exercise the freedom in a manner which we didn't like they chose to do something which we did not like, but it's not necessarily Haram. So they ended up they want to marry someone and they eventually do a proper harmonica, but it's not someone that we approve of. But it's not how are they doing, they're not saying that we shouldn't cut them off. panela or they you know, choza as Father we find Pete parents for the

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slightest of things children study something with parents inappropriate dropped out of university and they cut them off completely. This is not a sin, you will committing the sin by cutting off the child You are the one that is cutting family ties and you are not pushing them away from from guidance if they've done something which Allah is not displeased with. Even though it hurts your pride as a parent or your judgment you feel they're doing something wrong, then do not push them away. Of course, if they do something haram and you need to teach them by shunning by pushing them a little bit away, then this is out of love and it should hurt you by doing this panel. It should not

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be something which you do only as a form of of being angry with him. And so even they may or home Allah He explains this really well. He says it is essential to note that shining a center only is prescribed for big things not for small things you have an argument with your with your son or your daughter or something small and now

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You stop speaking to them pushing them away, it should be for a serious offense, a son, a serious son a major sin, such as shunning him in order to discipline him, so that he won't give up a son, and to an all maybe to warn others. So if you have siblings, you don't want them to interact and learn from the behavior. And so that might be another reason. And if shunning and now we have to think if after a few months, maybe a year or two, we've cut ties so that they can change the ways. And if shunning has no effect on us and realizes we're not doing anything, they still in that lifestyle, they haven't changed for the better, then there is no benefit in the shunning. And

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there's no point in continuing to shun. And so we should then try a different approach, we should then stop the shunning because we realize it's not benefiting at all, it is only making the meta meta worse. And so we should try a new approach. Now, this is a very big debate, you know, what do we do with that? And may Allah protect the verses? Perhaps the worst? I cannot think of a more difficult test than that. If a child who is not only committed sin, but has left the deen completely, has renounced Islam, what do we do with that person? Do we cut them off? Are they dead to us that we don't speak to them at all. So it is compulsory for us to this vow, whatever belief or

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apostasy is against Islam, we reject that completely. And it is haram to you know, have that same relationship of love and embrace as we had before. And it becomes important and as compulsory and as as parents to, to let the child know that this thing is going to be between us always, we cannot go back to the way things were until you of course returned to to the dean. But of course, it is still your child, and there still certain rights that they have. And you have, and you can still interact. But it should always be remembered that this thing that you are doing, we will never be okay with it. And so you have to make it known that this thing is a break between you and them, but you should

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not cut them off because in a way that will continue allow them and close the door of coming back. So we should never do it in a way where they can never ever come back or even whether we allow we push them further into the arms of time. And so this is something even for the more that we do not we keep the door open of repentance and the door to come back. And so we should balance this really difficult thing on the one hand, you must show your displeasure, you must show your anger. At the same time, you must open the door of leniency and mercy hoping that they come back to the faith and that Allah Subhana Allah make it easy for for for any parent going through this. And this is in the

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Iowa Java sparkler speaks about a parent opposite now you have a parent who is a non Muslim, and they force you to come achieve Allah says do not obey their parents, but you still give them kind and good treatment. And so this kind of relationship is important. It was someone that is as lift it was committing a major sin. And so for us as as guidelines, interacting with others will come at Sun when you interact with him, it we shouldn't show them if we do not condone the sun, that we reject that sinful behavior, we will not be part of that sinful behavior, it will never be willing to be okay with it. But rejecting the sun of course does not mean we reject the person. And hating the sun

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doesn't mean we hate the sinner. And no matter how bad the sun or the person is, we do not you know harm them or abuse them. And of course, remember all of us made mistakes as well. And you know, youth in particular, we made the biggest mistakes in our life. And so no one is no person is this is free of a history. We all have a stake we all have a past evens, panela, Nabil Moses, Panama inami Moosa himself in his youth, the most man was mentioned the most in the Quran, he killed someone, you know, he he murdered somebody was an accidental killing, but he killed somebody. But look how he transformed to become the man will last panel I spoke to directly many of the Sahaba if you look at

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before Islam, what were they doing? They were committing sins that we can't even speak about this is what was the harbor were doing, but they transformed themselves. And so never give up hope on your kids. And no matter how far off the path they've gone, you're never too far from the light of a las panatela and his guidance. And, you know, this debate when I speak to parents, should I be soft and gentle? Will this work? Or should I be hard? And with the harshness bring them back which which approach works? Always side on the I always lean towards mercy. And many of the MBA if you look at them in a times of of dealing with centers, they will ever work with you when they made a mistake.

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They were too merciful. They were too kind. And the best example is this, let me know Subhanallah nobody know when you know when it is 950 is 1000 years, he's preaching to his son is preaching to his people, like you know,

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that, you know, a millennium he is preaching and calling people and his son. And so of course his son rejected and at the moment when the water was coming and he suddenly refused to I mean, he's saying to my son, you're gonna drown just come onto the ship. I want to save you from drowning. And he suddenly refuses I will not get on the ship. And when he saw his son eventually drowns, and then there'll be no cries out. This is when I had no hora, Roberto and nobody know Christ who is through his Lord for kohlrabi in Germany in Italy. This is my son. He's my family, my lord indeed, my

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Son He's my family's my flesh and my blood we're in. We're in Nevada and how can I know your promises through I know you promised to be through one doctor will hug him in a new the most just of those who give judgment You are the most wise of of judges. And so we know we still crying Yeah, a lot. It's my son all the things I know. He deserves what he's getting, but he stole my son. And so in Spanner we sympathize with let me know but be like, let me know in the worst of cases, no matter how many times your child pushes you away. No matter how many times your child shuns you and turns away from you and persists on this bad lifestyle. Do not turn away from them and continuously try

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and try to bring them back many times when we shun. It is not that we are trying to bring them back we want to forget them. We want to cut them off. This is not part of my problem with them. I don't want to know you anymore. You're dead to me should never be that case. They only did to you when they die. It should not be forget them and push them away. No, it should be a way in which we bring them we bring them back. And no matter if everything is out of your hands, you've tried everything speaking soft on Cindy molalla as you did every possible thing in your power. Eventually you need to accept that this is not your taste to solve it is for them to walk that path This is between them

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and Allah Subhana Allah and it matters which is out of our control. All we can do is make do all you can do is not make too and no one is finally another example from the NBA Nabi Brahim. Remember his dad was that idol maker. His dad was the one who invented the idols and Abraham is trying so hard to reason with this man. And this man is not only fighting me Ryan is trying to burn me brought him alive. So eventually it'll be realized nothing I can do. I can't speak to my dad anymore. He is I want to speak to him. He wants to harm me. So let me bring this to his father. All Assalamu alaikum Salaam peace be upon your dad Okay, Daddy, salaam peace, I'm not going to fight with you anymore. So

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I still feel like Robbie, I will continuously make ecfr for you. I'll continuously ask Allah to forgive you know who cannot be happy and because Allah has always been very generous to me, while I gave up hope in trying to reason with you. It's not gonna work talking to you doesn't work. I haven't given up hope in Allah's mercy. I still hope that in Allah's mercy, Allah will change something in your art. And so don't ever give up hope in your door. Do not ever stop making the art for your child in spite of law. Perhaps that is the thing which Allah once in this moment that Yoda, remember as appearance up to our parents is perhaps the most powerful to an appearance. If you're in

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anguish because of your children, your do as your tears that late tattooed for them, will be in the lobby the thing that brings them back, and so continuously make dua for them. And we conclude the series that we ask Allah Subhana Allah to forgive us and our children. May Allah grant us as this beautiful Dr. Rob bunnahabhain, an ominous wodgina with a reaction to kurata aiyana, Allah lit grant for us that our husbands our wives, our spouses, and our children be the comfort of our eyes, may they be bring us the biggest joy. But the Allah if you test, as directly says in our families, that no matter how difficult life is, when we come home, and we think of our kids, and we think of our

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wife, our husband, when all the worries of the world melts away, that we might not have all the wealth of the world we might not have all the beautiful things of the world, but what we have in our family, that peace, that comfort, that is your Allah, the best thing that you can give us. So Allah grant that our kids grow up to be the coolness of our eyes, that when we look at them, they bring us joy, or what your analogy with Athena imama and that make us the best and the leaders of those of taqwa that if we want the best for our children, that if they are excellent in in academics and the excellent in business and they have lots of money on hand, those are all good things. But even

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better than that they are law making the best of the people that make them believe us when it comes to the people of taqwa and make make all of us not just the US to be amongst them. I mean, just like him Allah Subhana Allah forgive you in place in our families. We don't refer to those who are ill and recommend for those who have passed away akula kolyada and I was part of exit from us or still learn ALLAH forgive all of us, but hamdulillah I mean, as salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh