Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari – Marriage – Deen Vs Culture Part 10

			Moving on. Lastly, and finally there are some cultural aspects in divorce as well. Okay, that's a
topic on its own divorce, how nasty they become. Islam says avocado Hello, hello, hello. This is the
Hadith in the center of umami. A Buddha would write the Senate is not that authentic. You know, it's
slightly questionable senate but the meaning is fine. It's true. It's a permissible activity
divorces, we need to understand now one kosher thing is what we what we realize is that divorce is
what an unlawful activity it's an evil thing. Islam says no who said divorce is evil.
		

			It's permissible, one of the most disliked activities but it is permissible. Now culturally, what do
we think it's bad? Now let me explain this to you know, how this has an impact.
		

			When you consider the law and divorce to be an evil act,
		

			an act of you know, wretchedness and it's an wicked and evil act. Wicked in the true sense of the
word not a slang sense. It's an evil act. You consider Pollock to be an evil act, then what happens?
The most natural consequence whenever divorce takes place, and what happens
		

			what happens sometimes, you know, something really bad everybody in the community thinks it's a bad
thing. Divorce has happened. Islam says no bad.
		

			You know, even the messengers Heba is married alayhi salatu wa sallam divorced his wife.
		

			what's what's, what's the big deal? The messenger sallallahu alayhi. Salaam once contemplated
divorcing all his wives. The other woman, Erica nosara, Guna, Saracen, jameelah, and he did divorce
soda adventism and then took her back process of divorce. So how about divorce? So I really
		

			need to understand this point. Culturally, it's taboo. islamically. It's not a bad thing. It's
dislike you try your best to save marriages. But if it doesn't work out, it's not bad. And you know
what? Because we consider too bad what happens? Somebody has to be blamed. It's bad. So somebody has
to be blamed husband and his family, they'll never blame themselves. It's always the wife's fault.
You know, that's my own. You know, it's a why it was that, you know, it wasn't really the wife wife
was good. But a mother You know, the mother was she was the bad one.
		

			pointing fingers at that everybody. You know, I've seen nasty situations. I know, one divorce case
where I was the both husband's side and the right the wife spoke to me, the husband, the husband's
brother, the wife's brother came to me, you know, I said just move on, you know, just be human
beings and move on. Carry. It doesn't matter. They're spreading rumors about us and they're
spreading in the community because now you want to get in the community. You have to prove that you
are right, and they were wrong. if nobody's wrong, both are right, then what's the big deal?
		

			You can have the greatest imagenet of the time and there will be adversary of the time and you could
have a divorce.
		

			No chemistry just didn't meet Indian click. There was no kuffaar hamdulillah no problem. That's what
Islam says divorce a palapa Martin for incircle Morocco, two, three from the sun, even divorce
should be with
		

			excellence, Depart with excellence. You know which on what? In what way? The husband says to the
wife goes and says sorry, forgiveness, sorry, you know, it didn't work out. I wasn't good enough for
you. May Allah give you a better husband than me. The wife says, Sorry, you know, Mommy, you know, I
wasn't good enough for email. I'll give you a good wife, better wife than meek. hamdulillah make the
you know, forgive one another.
		

			That's Islamic divorce. That's what Allah says. The law with their son. It's not a bad thing. Once
we consider it to be an evil act. We have to blame someone. husband's family, blame the wife's
family, the wife's family, blame the husband's family both become lifelong enemies. They don't talk
until death do them part. And then worst case scenario when children are used.
		

			Then we need fathers for justice.
		

			Children, that's an oppression. That's an absolutely horrible, you know, practicing people
seriously. I mean, I know practicing people going to jamaa arguably on all sorts of activities for
dressing like Muslims, you know, niqab? hijaab. this that and the other so called practicing here,
it was happens Islam is out of the window.
		

			Now, this is a family the father is doing, you know, practicing family. I told him I said, you know,
do you realize Islam's it's a major hurdle. You're oppressing the child. The child needs the father
as well as the mother. Why are you using the child as a human shield to get your own back on the
husband divorce happened okay. With the Father, don't Don't you know, deprive the kid from seeing
the father as a major heroine.
		

			And using rights of this country, the wife side and the wife don't want to use it or I don't want to
let him see you know, his evil you
		

			When your mind is evil, he's evil to you. But not doesn't mean he's a bad father to the kidney
normal, normal situations. You can't deprive you can't there are visitation rights that are child
custody laws in Islam not the laws of this country that are child custody knows I have a whole
article about the child custody laws is actually somebody put on the BBC website as well. The child
custody laws you have to follow them until the age of seven the boy stays with the mother then goes
to the Father and the girl until the age of nine stays with the mother then goes to the Father. We
like it or not, these are Islamic rules.
		

			So divorce do it with axon in the best of ways. And then there are some other issues but if time's
up, so I'm going to end with this inshallah
		

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