Mufti Menk – You Pay a Price for your Tongue
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AI: Transcript ©
One of the biggest things that we pay
a price for is the tongue.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam in a hadith
in Sunanat Tirmidi
makes mention of the pillars of Islam.
He was asked by the companions
what is it that I need to do
in order
to ensure my entry into paradise and my
protection from hellfire?
So the first thing he said is you
should
worship Allah without associating partners.
You should fulfill your 5 daily prayers. You
should fast in the month of Ramadan.
You should give charity
from what Allah has given you
and you should go for the pilgrimage, the
hajj if you are able and capable.
And then he continued
to mention
other more important things in terms of
how to uphold
these pillars of Islam.
Because it's
not
to my benefit
to be a person who prays 5 times
a day but I'm losing the reward of
the prayer because of something.
Or I'm very charitable but I'm losing it
because of something.
So
he spoke about
the main point being submission to Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
And the peak
being
the sacrifice that you and I would make
in order to fulfill the obligations
to Allah. When we speak of jihad in
Islam,
people have given it a very narrow meaning
that they want to portray to the world.
When the Muslims say jihad, it means something
negative.
It means violence. It means so on. That
is not correct.
Jihad means a struggle. There is a struggle
required to do that which Allah wants you
to do in terms of your 5 daily
prayer.
We cannot get up for salatulfajr
at times because we're not struggling or we're
not striving good enough or well enough or
to the degree that we're meant to.
That's a jihad.
But obviously there are different levels of jihad
to protect yourself and defend yourself
is one of the levels.
Someone comes to slap me, I might want
to process it in a few ways
based on what is most beneficial that he
doesn't slap me again,
and at the same time I don't make
the situation worse.
When someone swears me,
I also need to look at that and
quickly process how I would like to react.
I want to react in a way that
I solve the problem and I want to
react in a way that he doesn't do
that again.
So it's quite tricky.
Nonetheless, all that is a jihad.
It's a struggle.
In life,
to surrender to the decree and destiny that
Allah has chosen for you is also a
struggle.
To bear patience is also a struggle.
If Allah has chosen that you're going to
be this color, this type of hair, this
race,
this for example build and so on, there
is nothing you can do about it at
times besides
surrender to the degree of Allah. And if
there is something you can do about something
that might not be so normal,
then you may do it within that limit
that is not displeasing to Allah. What this
means is say you have a nose and
it's a bent nose and everyone says your
nose is bent. Now for your information all
our noses are bent. Nobody on earth has
a straight nose, not one person.
It might look straight to you but it's
not. It's not possible. You can't have that.
You can argue with me in the comments
if you see this video later.
But nonetheless,
we look at ourselves too much in the
mirror, so we see false. My one eye
is big. The other eye is small. The
nose is heading to the left. The other
one's heading to the right. And my lip
is this way, and the other thing is
this way, and my one cheek is up,
and the other one is down and one
side of my face is 0.0.09
millimeters bigger than the other side because I
sleep on this side and I don't on
that side. And
all that is shaitan.
You need to be patient. Thank Allah. Allah
chose you. You don't you don't change all
of that. But if your nose is totally
like, you know, bent, it's affecting your mind.
You are allowed to correct it. You are.
Your teeth are not straight. Your bite is
wrong. There is you have an overbite. Something.
You are allowed to correct that without a
doubt. You are. You can't see properly. You
can either have laser. You can wear glasses.
You can wear contacts. No problem. So let's
not confuse it. If something is wrong, you
can correct it. But when something is right,
you can't play with it. That's what I
mean. Allah chose
your build for example. It's okay.
The biggest
gift you can give yourself is to love
yourself the way Allah made you. Whoever loves
you that way, Alhamdulillah.
Whoever doesn't, a'udhubillah.
They can fly a kite.
Allah. They can fly a kite. We don't
need them. And if someone's not going to
respect me because of the way Allah's made
me, I promise you they have no space
in your life.
You make dua for them and move on.
People might not like you based on a
few things. So what? They can go.
In all honesty, they need help not me.
May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to
love ourselves the way He made us. But
in all honesty, there is a lot that
we require when it comes to spouse but
you're gonna have to sacrifice. We have a
problem today. So many people boys and girls,
they say I want to get married but
I want you to accept me exactly the
way I am. No changes. Okay. It sounds
correct. If you're talking about things that Allah
has made you
in a way that you can't really change,
yes, we agree. But if you're talking about,
you can't change me
when you are far from Allah, then why
did you get married? The whole idea of
getting married is to remind you of your
prayer, remind you of your duties unto Allah,
remind you of the haram that you might
be doing so that together we can go
to paradise. That's the idea of coming together
in marriage. So for someone to say, accept
me as I am,
it's a double edged sword. What do you
mean? Do you really mean that when you
don't pray, you sleep, you're drinking, you're going
clubbing, then I must just say, no, I've
got to accept you as you are. No
way. No way. No way. We reject that
statement. But accept me as I am in
the sense that look my complexion, maybe my
skin, my hair, whatever you take me as
I am, alhamdulillah.
And, you know, the fact that you might
be bored, whatever, alhamdulillah. We don't mind. You
know what? We accept you as you are.
You don't really need to go to Turkey.
But if you'd like to, inshallah, it's not
prohibited.
See all the smiles.
Some of you are probably camouflaging what happened.
Nonetheless, it's okay. But getting back to the
point, when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
spoke about these acts of worship, and he
spoke about jihad and the struggle that is
required in order to remain on the path.
Do you know what? He says, should I
inform you of the thing that controls all
of this?
So
Muhadid Njabal says,
yes, oh Messenger.
He says,
control your tongue.
Hold back your tongue.
In the narration,
control your tongue.
He pointed to his tongue. He says hold
this thing back. Why?
Because it will make or break
every other thing that we just mentioned.
Your tongue.
A man is not known by
anything better
than his tongue. Same applies to a woman.
You can be the most pious. If your
tongue is messed, you are messed. If you
are the wealthiest, if your tongue is messed.
You are messed. If you are the poorest
but your tongue is amazing and you only
say beautiful, empowering, encouraging
words, you are an amazing human being. People
will love the interaction with you. They meet
you. They feel empowered because they know this
person does not insult, does not abuse, does
not hurt, does not hate
with their tongues.
Now I want to quickly draw
a very important
parallel
And I know time is not on our
side. I'm used to normally talking for a
long long time, but nonetheless,
Hisham here, masha'Allah, you know, he's always telling
me you can talk as long as you
want, but this is the timing, you know.
In a nutshell, don't go beyond it.
It's okay.
My brothers and sisters, Moses, Musa
was sent to Firaun, the pharaoh.
To put you in the picture, the worst
of mankind at the time was the one
whom the best of mankind at the time
was sent to.
Allah already knew the pharaoh was not going
to accept anything. Allah knew that he's not
going to accept the message. He's going to
reject it. He's going to die on kufr
or disbelief.
Right? Did Allah not know that? Allah knew
it. So why would Allah Almighty want a
messenger to have an entire mission that he
would mention in the Quran that would come
down to all the other prophets of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala
about something where there was a man who
wasn't going to accept the message. And how
Allah sent this man in order to show
you and I the importance, the greatness of
so many things. One of them being the
way you talk to someone.
The way you make them feel. Don't give
them the excuse.
Look, if I see bad and I stand
on the mimbar and I start talking about
individuals
insulting them, belittling them, one day they will
come right. When they do come right by
the will of Allah, what will happen? I
will have a sin for everything I said.
I pay the heaviest price for whatever I
said. The insulting.
Allah refused and denied Musa alaihi salam to
insult the pharaoh. But we are insulting people
better than the pharaoh, and we are nowhere
near Musa alaihi salam.
When he comes right one day, we will
be at loss.
I'd rather say a good word and be
contributing
towards
correcting the matter so it can be a
sadaqajaria
for me. It's an act of charity when
he comes. Right? Everything he does, I got
a reward for it. Guy says, you know,
be careful. This guy goes to the clubs
and pubs.
Assalamu alaikum, my brother. How are you? Hey.
Lovely to see you. Amazing. You're looking good.
What did I do? Nothing. I'm empowering him.
That's all.
He will feel the guilt. Next time, big
dua for him. You see him again, my
brother. Amazing. Lovely. How are you? Looking good.
He'll want to come. When he hears you
have a talk, he'll pitch up and he'll
sit in the first stuff. What happens? He'll
then come to the masjid. Every time he
comes to pray, you get a full reward
for it. When he started reading the Quran
as a result of your good words, you
get a reward for it. That is your
Jannah. You might not have gotten paradise because
of your deeds, but you got paradise because
you encouraged others to do good deeds. It's
possible. That would have earned the mercy of
Allah. Maybe more than theirs, it happens.
So be careful. Go easy with your tongue.
I pity those who swear and belittle. The
hadith says a mummin does not belittle, does
not abuse, does not swear, does not curse.
We are believers. Are you a believer? In
the name of Islam, we curse.
People have a bad tongue sometimes. The message
I have for you today, my brothers, my
sisters,
if you want to go home with something
that would change your life,
wallahi, I guarantee you because it's in the
hadith.
Just control your mouth. Just watch your tongue.
That's it. Say brilliant words. Listen to the
hadith.
Whoever believes in Allah and the last day,
truly,
which means you believe I have to stand
and give account of my deeds and you
are worried about it.
Either utter that which is good or keep
quiet. There's no third option for a believer.
I see you. I know something about you
that might be negative. I'm not going to
belittle you because I have more negatives than
you that you don't know about.
I'm not going to belittle you, especially public
shaming. That is something almost unforgivable. Let me
quickly explain why. I gave you the example
of Moses and the pharaoh. Public shaming was
prohibited. I can tell you what else.
When
you belittle someone,
you say something to them, and you are
actually insulting them, abusing them
on a public platform,
The amount of damage that happens is so
intense and so severe.
Entire society goes down one notch. You know,
there is a politician in one of the
countries
that came into power and his biggest weakness,
they say he was a lovely guy, lovely
guy. He may have been. I also think
he probably was a lovely guy. His biggest
weakness was his tongue. No one told him
that. Nobody told him that. Every time he
got up, the only thing that we know,
he insulted other politicians in a public way.
That's it. He insulted them. So no matter
what good you did, you gave them reason
to get up and become fierce against you.
You actually breathe the energy into their life
to give them reason to knock you out
because you're talking too much. That's the problem.
You're insulting in public people who have authority
also. They can fix you if they want.
When when they get up, they will make
sure that they nail you. Do you really
want to solve the problem? If you do,
watch your tongue. Say good words. Look, I
disagree with you my brother, but I respect
you. I honor you. You can say I
disagree. I can even say you are wrong
my brother.
I I came and put up this tripod.
There might be some people who believe it's
totally haram. I respect you. I honor you,
and I believe you should not do it
if you believe that. But for me, leave
me alone. Thank you. I didn't ask someone
to do it. I did it myself.
Small example. Right?
But we love you, and I love you
with the difference.
It doesn't mean because I differ with you
that I need to insult you, abuse you,
stand up and say this guy, this and
this guy. You pay a price for that.
Entire community drops down because the whole community
starts swearing each other. Why? That's what they
learned.
That's what they learned. And what will happen
to the children and the grandchildren? They'll start
abusing in a bigger way. And we didn't
gain anything. So the prophet says
watch your tongue. So Muadid Najabal asks a
question. He says, oh messenger,
will we be responsible for what we say?
What that would mean is, I didn't do
anything. I just told you you're stupid. Right?
I didn't
do anything. I just told you.
What's the big deal?
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says,
That's a powerful statement. In our language, it
means what are you talking about,
Mu'adh?
Is there any other reason that people's faces
will be smeared in hellfire besides their tongues?
Woah.
Did you hear that?
That means it's your tongue.
You utter your sha'ada with your tongue. You
you you praise Allah with your tongue. You
say good words with your tongue. Why do
you want to say bad things? You pay
a price in the dunya and the akhira.
Backbiting is
to say the truth about someone behind their
backs in the way that they would be
belittled is called backbiting. It's not a lie.
It's the truth. I heard something about you,
and I'm relating it. Nowadays it's so bad
because it's just the click of a button
on the phone or the touching of a
screen. That's it. And what did you do?
You belittle people. You don't even know they
might be friends of Allah or they might
be future friends of Allah. Allah might know
that in future this person is going to
come to me. You insulted, you abused, you
spread tales. It was all done either on
Twitter or WhatsApp or whatever it may be.
We're living in an age of social media.
But in all honesty,
when you think about it carefully and you
hold yourself back, what happens? You are protecting
yourself from engaging in a major sin known
as backbiting.
The hadith says,
the Quran
says,
Would any one of you like that
the flesh of your dead brother would be
consumed and you wouldn't like it? Right? You
wouldn't like it. I wouldn't.
So Islam says backbiting, which is telling the
truth, not a lie.
Backbiting is when you tell the truth about
someone behind their backs in a way that
they don't like it, then you're eating the
flesh of a dead person.
What about if you're lying? You don't even
know this person. We're living in an age
where we're doing a lot of good deeds,
but we're paying a price. We're paying a
price because
of the level
that we're
supposed to be at, that we're not at
of communication.
Wallahi. Do better. Wallahi. I want to tell
you sometimes I sit and look at non
Muslims in the professional world and the way
they deal with each other. So much of
discipline and integrity. And I tell myself, you
know what? We are believers. We've been taught
about the hereafter
as well. Let's do better.
I've worked on myself for years on end
and I can feel the improvement and I
invite you to do something even better by
the will of Allah. I'm a nobody,
but I'm telling you no matter how holy
you think you are, your tongue says it
all. No matter how powerful, authoritative, well, whatever
you think you are, go easy.
Everyone is human.
Allah has put them in your life to
test you. You humble or not?
If you are, Alhamdulillah,
if you're not, it's time to improve. That's
why we are here today. I wouldn't have
dreamt yesterday that I was going to be
here today, but here I am. And I
thought of this message because of something that
occurred last night. And I told myself, if
it was just the tongue that was a
little bit better, we could have solved the
problem. Solved the problem. Sometimes you go too
hard on someone. You swore them, curse them.
What what what what? And sometimes you do
it in your own circles. Let me tell
you something. There is nothing private anymore on
earth. Your best friend is telling other people
exactly what you said, knowingly or unknowingly.
Knowingly or unknowingly because that's how the world
has become. Everyone's become, you know,
a person who wants to be the first
to know, the first to tell. You see?
Right? May Allah Almighty grant us ease. Let's
correct the way we speak about each other
by the will of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
We will be able to help the situations.
We'll be able to
improve family relations.
I know things are tough,
but sometimes
things are tough. He's telling me there's 1
minute left.
Things are tough.
But at the same time, my brothers and
sisters,
we need we need to respect each other.
The least you can offer someone is to
use your tongue in a correct way. That's
the least you can do. And actually, you're
offering it to yourself. Because
one last thing I want to quickly say,
when you come on the day of piyamal,
so many good deeds. One of the biggest
ways you're gonna lose is because you insulted
this one, belittle that one, spoke bad about
that one, backbitten about that one, slandered about
that one. So your salah is gone there.
Your Hajj is gone there. Your Zakat is
gone there. And you're sitting with nothing. What
happened? Your tongue.
So when the prophet
says watch your tongue, it's a powerful hadith.
He spoke about it beyond,
over and above and beyond your pillars and
everything because you're gonna fulfill all of that.
Yes, you're a Muslim, and you might lose
everything because of your tongue.
A lot more to say InshaAllah on another
occasion for now.