Mufti Menk – You Pay a Price for your Tongue

Mufti Menk
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The importance of worshipping Islam is highlighted, including pursuing five daily prayers and fulfilling obligations. The speaker emphasizes the need for patient and acceptance, accepting oneself, and not changing one's appearance. Backbiting, which is when people say bad things to each other, is also discussed, and the speaker advises against blaming people and protecting oneself from major sin. The importance of backbiting is emphasized, and people are being abused.

AI: Summary ©

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			One of the biggest things that we pay
		
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			a price for is the tongue.
		
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			The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam in a hadith
		
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			in Sunanat Tirmidi
		
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			makes mention of the pillars of Islam.
		
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			He was asked by the companions
		
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			what is it that I need to do
		
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			in order
		
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			to ensure my entry into paradise and my
		
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			protection from hellfire?
		
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			So the first thing he said is you
		
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			should
		
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			worship Allah without associating partners.
		
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			You should fulfill your 5 daily prayers. You
		
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			should fast in the month of Ramadan.
		
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			You should give charity
		
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			from what Allah has given you
		
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			and you should go for the pilgrimage, the
		
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			hajj if you are able and capable.
		
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			And then he continued
		
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			to mention
		
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			other more important things in terms of
		
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			how to uphold
		
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			these pillars of Islam.
		
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			Because it's
		
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			not
		
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			to my benefit
		
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			to be a person who prays 5 times
		
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			a day but I'm losing the reward of
		
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			the prayer because of something.
		
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			Or I'm very charitable but I'm losing it
		
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			because of something.
		
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			So
		
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			he spoke about
		
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			the main point being submission to Allah subhanahu
		
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			wa ta'ala.
		
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			And the peak
		
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			being
		
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			the sacrifice that you and I would make
		
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			in order to fulfill the obligations
		
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			to Allah. When we speak of jihad in
		
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			Islam,
		
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			people have given it a very narrow meaning
		
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			that they want to portray to the world.
		
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			When the Muslims say jihad, it means something
		
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			negative.
		
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			It means violence. It means so on. That
		
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			is not correct.
		
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			Jihad means a struggle. There is a struggle
		
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			required to do that which Allah wants you
		
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			to do in terms of your 5 daily
		
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			prayer.
		
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			We cannot get up for salatulfajr
		
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			at times because we're not struggling or we're
		
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			not striving good enough or well enough or
		
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			to the degree that we're meant to.
		
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			That's a jihad.
		
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			But obviously there are different levels of jihad
		
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			to protect yourself and defend yourself
		
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			is one of the levels.
		
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			Someone comes to slap me, I might want
		
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			to process it in a few ways
		
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			based on what is most beneficial that he
		
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			doesn't slap me again,
		
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			and at the same time I don't make
		
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			the situation worse.
		
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			When someone swears me,
		
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			I also need to look at that and
		
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			quickly process how I would like to react.
		
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			I want to react in a way that
		
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			I solve the problem and I want to
		
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			react in a way that he doesn't do
		
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			that again.
		
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			So it's quite tricky.
		
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			Nonetheless, all that is a jihad.
		
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			It's a struggle.
		
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			In life,
		
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			to surrender to the decree and destiny that
		
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			Allah has chosen for you is also a
		
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			struggle.
		
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			To bear patience is also a struggle.
		
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			If Allah has chosen that you're going to
		
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			be this color, this type of hair, this
		
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			race,
		
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			this for example build and so on, there
		
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			is nothing you can do about it at
		
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			times besides
		
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			surrender to the degree of Allah. And if
		
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			there is something you can do about something
		
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			that might not be so normal,
		
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			then you may do it within that limit
		
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			that is not displeasing to Allah. What this
		
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			means is say you have a nose and
		
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			it's a bent nose and everyone says your
		
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			nose is bent. Now for your information all
		
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			our noses are bent. Nobody on earth has
		
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			a straight nose, not one person.
		
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			It might look straight to you but it's
		
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			not. It's not possible. You can't have that.
		
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			You can argue with me in the comments
		
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			if you see this video later.
		
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			But nonetheless,
		
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			we look at ourselves too much in the
		
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			mirror, so we see false. My one eye
		
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			is big. The other eye is small. The
		
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			nose is heading to the left. The other
		
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			one's heading to the right. And my lip
		
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			is this way, and the other thing is
		
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			this way, and my one cheek is up,
		
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			and the other one is down and one
		
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			side of my face is 0.0.09
		
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			millimeters bigger than the other side because I
		
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			sleep on this side and I don't on
		
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			that side. And
		
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			all that is shaitan.
		
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			You need to be patient. Thank Allah. Allah
		
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			chose you. You don't you don't change all
		
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			of that. But if your nose is totally
		
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			like, you know, bent, it's affecting your mind.
		
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			You are allowed to correct it. You are.
		
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			Your teeth are not straight. Your bite is
		
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			wrong. There is you have an overbite. Something.
		
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			You are allowed to correct that without a
		
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			doubt. You are. You can't see properly. You
		
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			can either have laser. You can wear glasses.
		
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			You can wear contacts. No problem. So let's
		
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			not confuse it. If something is wrong, you
		
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			can correct it. But when something is right,
		
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			you can't play with it. That's what I
		
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			mean. Allah chose
		
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			your build for example. It's okay.
		
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			The biggest
		
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			gift you can give yourself is to love
		
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			yourself the way Allah made you. Whoever loves
		
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			you that way, Alhamdulillah.
		
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			Whoever doesn't, a'udhubillah.
		
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			They can fly a kite.
		
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			Allah. They can fly a kite. We don't
		
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			need them. And if someone's not going to
		
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			respect me because of the way Allah's made
		
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			me, I promise you they have no space
		
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			in your life.
		
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			You make dua for them and move on.
		
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			People might not like you based on a
		
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			few things. So what? They can go.
		
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			In all honesty, they need help not me.
		
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			May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to
		
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			love ourselves the way He made us. But
		
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			in all honesty, there is a lot that
		
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			we require when it comes to spouse but
		
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			you're gonna have to sacrifice. We have a
		
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			problem today. So many people boys and girls,
		
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			they say I want to get married but
		
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			I want you to accept me exactly the
		
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			way I am. No changes. Okay. It sounds
		
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			correct. If you're talking about things that Allah
		
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			has made you
		
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			in a way that you can't really change,
		
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			yes, we agree. But if you're talking about,
		
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			you can't change me
		
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			when you are far from Allah, then why
		
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			did you get married? The whole idea of
		
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			getting married is to remind you of your
		
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			prayer, remind you of your duties unto Allah,
		
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			remind you of the haram that you might
		
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			be doing so that together we can go
		
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			to paradise. That's the idea of coming together
		
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			in marriage. So for someone to say, accept
		
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			me as I am,
		
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			it's a double edged sword. What do you
		
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			mean? Do you really mean that when you
		
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			don't pray, you sleep, you're drinking, you're going
		
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			clubbing, then I must just say, no, I've
		
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			got to accept you as you are. No
		
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			way. No way. No way. We reject that
		
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			statement. But accept me as I am in
		
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			the sense that look my complexion, maybe my
		
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			skin, my hair, whatever you take me as
		
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			I am, alhamdulillah.
		
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			And, you know, the fact that you might
		
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			be bored, whatever, alhamdulillah. We don't mind. You
		
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			know what? We accept you as you are.
		
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			You don't really need to go to Turkey.
		
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			But if you'd like to, inshallah, it's not
		
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			prohibited.
		
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			See all the smiles.
		
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			Some of you are probably camouflaging what happened.
		
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			Nonetheless, it's okay. But getting back to the
		
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			point, when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
		
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			spoke about these acts of worship, and he
		
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			spoke about jihad and the struggle that is
		
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			required in order to remain on the path.
		
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			Do you know what? He says, should I
		
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			inform you of the thing that controls all
		
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			of this?
		
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			So
		
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			Muhadid Njabal says,
		
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			yes, oh Messenger.
		
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			He says,
		
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			control your tongue.
		
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			Hold back your tongue.
		
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			In the narration,
		
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			control your tongue.
		
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			He pointed to his tongue. He says hold
		
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			this thing back. Why?
		
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			Because it will make or break
		
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			every other thing that we just mentioned.
		
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			Your tongue.
		
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			A man is not known by
		
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			anything better
		
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			than his tongue. Same applies to a woman.
		
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			You can be the most pious. If your
		
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			tongue is messed, you are messed. If you
		
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			are the wealthiest, if your tongue is messed.
		
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			You are messed. If you are the poorest
		
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			but your tongue is amazing and you only
		
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			say beautiful, empowering, encouraging
		
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			words, you are an amazing human being. People
		
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			will love the interaction with you. They meet
		
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			you. They feel empowered because they know this
		
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			person does not insult, does not abuse, does
		
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			not hurt, does not hate
		
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			with their tongues.
		
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			Now I want to quickly draw
		
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			a very important
		
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			parallel
		
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			And I know time is not on our
		
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			side. I'm used to normally talking for a
		
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			long long time, but nonetheless,
		
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			Hisham here, masha'Allah, you know, he's always telling
		
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			me you can talk as long as you
		
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			want, but this is the timing, you know.
		
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			In a nutshell, don't go beyond it.
		
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			It's okay.
		
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			My brothers and sisters, Moses, Musa
		
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			was sent to Firaun, the pharaoh.
		
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			To put you in the picture, the worst
		
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			of mankind at the time was the one
		
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			whom the best of mankind at the time
		
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			was sent to.
		
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			Allah already knew the pharaoh was not going
		
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			to accept anything. Allah knew that he's not
		
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			going to accept the message. He's going to
		
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			reject it. He's going to die on kufr
		
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			or disbelief.
		
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			Right? Did Allah not know that? Allah knew
		
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			it. So why would Allah Almighty want a
		
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			messenger to have an entire mission that he
		
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			would mention in the Quran that would come
		
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			down to all the other prophets of Allah
		
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			subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
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			about something where there was a man who
		
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			wasn't going to accept the message. And how
		
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			Allah sent this man in order to show
		
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			you and I the importance, the greatness of
		
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			so many things. One of them being the
		
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			way you talk to someone.
		
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			The way you make them feel. Don't give
		
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			them the excuse.
		
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			Look, if I see bad and I stand
		
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			on the mimbar and I start talking about
		
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			individuals
		
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			insulting them, belittling them, one day they will
		
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			come right. When they do come right by
		
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			the will of Allah, what will happen? I
		
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			will have a sin for everything I said.
		
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			I pay the heaviest price for whatever I
		
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			said. The insulting.
		
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			Allah refused and denied Musa alaihi salam to
		
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			insult the pharaoh. But we are insulting people
		
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			better than the pharaoh, and we are nowhere
		
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			near Musa alaihi salam.
		
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			When he comes right one day, we will
		
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			be at loss.
		
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			I'd rather say a good word and be
		
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			contributing
		
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			towards
		
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			correcting the matter so it can be a
		
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			sadaqajaria
		
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			for me. It's an act of charity when
		
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			he comes. Right? Everything he does, I got
		
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			a reward for it. Guy says, you know,
		
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			be careful. This guy goes to the clubs
		
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			and pubs.
		
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			Assalamu alaikum, my brother. How are you? Hey.
		
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			Lovely to see you. Amazing. You're looking good.
		
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			What did I do? Nothing. I'm empowering him.
		
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			That's all.
		
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			He will feel the guilt. Next time, big
		
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			dua for him. You see him again, my
		
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			brother. Amazing. Lovely. How are you? Looking good.
		
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			He'll want to come. When he hears you
		
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			have a talk, he'll pitch up and he'll
		
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			sit in the first stuff. What happens? He'll
		
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			then come to the masjid. Every time he
		
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			comes to pray, you get a full reward
		
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			for it. When he started reading the Quran
		
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			as a result of your good words, you
		
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			get a reward for it. That is your
		
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			Jannah. You might not have gotten paradise because
		
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			of your deeds, but you got paradise because
		
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			you encouraged others to do good deeds. It's
		
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			possible. That would have earned the mercy of
		
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			Allah. Maybe more than theirs, it happens.
		
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			So be careful. Go easy with your tongue.
		
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			I pity those who swear and belittle. The
		
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			hadith says a mummin does not belittle, does
		
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			not abuse, does not swear, does not curse.
		
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			We are believers. Are you a believer? In
		
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			the name of Islam, we curse.
		
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			People have a bad tongue sometimes. The message
		
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			I have for you today, my brothers, my
		
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			sisters,
		
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			if you want to go home with something
		
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			that would change your life,
		
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			wallahi, I guarantee you because it's in the
		
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			hadith.
		
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			Just control your mouth. Just watch your tongue.
		
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			That's it. Say brilliant words. Listen to the
		
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			hadith.
		
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			Whoever believes in Allah and the last day,
		
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			truly,
		
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			which means you believe I have to stand
		
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			and give account of my deeds and you
		
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			are worried about it.
		
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			Either utter that which is good or keep
		
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			quiet. There's no third option for a believer.
		
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			I see you. I know something about you
		
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			that might be negative. I'm not going to
		
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			belittle you because I have more negatives than
		
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			you that you don't know about.
		
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			I'm not going to belittle you, especially public
		
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			shaming. That is something almost unforgivable. Let me
		
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			quickly explain why. I gave you the example
		
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			of Moses and the pharaoh. Public shaming was
		
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			prohibited. I can tell you what else.
		
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			When
		
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			you belittle someone,
		
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			you say something to them, and you are
		
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			actually insulting them, abusing them
		
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			on a public platform,
		
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			The amount of damage that happens is so
		
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			intense and so severe.
		
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			Entire society goes down one notch. You know,
		
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			there is a politician in one of the
		
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			countries
		
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			that came into power and his biggest weakness,
		
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			they say he was a lovely guy, lovely
		
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			guy. He may have been. I also think
		
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			he probably was a lovely guy. His biggest
		
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			weakness was his tongue. No one told him
		
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			that. Nobody told him that. Every time he
		
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			got up, the only thing that we know,
		
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			he insulted other politicians in a public way.
		
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			That's it. He insulted them. So no matter
		
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			what good you did, you gave them reason
		
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			to get up and become fierce against you.
		
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			You actually breathe the energy into their life
		
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			to give them reason to knock you out
		
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			because you're talking too much. That's the problem.
		
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			You're insulting in public people who have authority
		
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			also. They can fix you if they want.
		
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			When when they get up, they will make
		
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			sure that they nail you. Do you really
		
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			want to solve the problem? If you do,
		
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			watch your tongue. Say good words. Look, I
		
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			disagree with you my brother, but I respect
		
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			you. I honor you. You can say I
		
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			disagree. I can even say you are wrong
		
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			my brother.
		
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			I I came and put up this tripod.
		
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			There might be some people who believe it's
		
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			totally haram. I respect you. I honor you,
		
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			and I believe you should not do it
		
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			if you believe that. But for me, leave
		
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			me alone. Thank you. I didn't ask someone
		
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			to do it. I did it myself.
		
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			Small example. Right?
		
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			But we love you, and I love you
		
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			with the difference.
		
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			It doesn't mean because I differ with you
		
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			that I need to insult you, abuse you,
		
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			stand up and say this guy, this and
		
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			this guy. You pay a price for that.
		
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			Entire community drops down because the whole community
		
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			starts swearing each other. Why? That's what they
		
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			learned.
		
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			That's what they learned. And what will happen
		
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			to the children and the grandchildren? They'll start
		
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			abusing in a bigger way. And we didn't
		
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			gain anything. So the prophet says
		
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			watch your tongue. So Muadid Najabal asks a
		
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			question. He says, oh messenger,
		
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			will we be responsible for what we say?
		
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			What that would mean is, I didn't do
		
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			anything. I just told you you're stupid. Right?
		
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			I didn't
		
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			do anything. I just told you.
		
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			What's the big deal?
		
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			The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says,
		
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			That's a powerful statement. In our language, it
		
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			means what are you talking about,
		
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			Mu'adh?
		
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			Is there any other reason that people's faces
		
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			will be smeared in hellfire besides their tongues?
		
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			Woah.
		
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			Did you hear that?
		
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			That means it's your tongue.
		
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			You utter your sha'ada with your tongue. You
		
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			you you praise Allah with your tongue. You
		
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			say good words with your tongue. Why do
		
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			you want to say bad things? You pay
		
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			a price in the dunya and the akhira.
		
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			Backbiting is
		
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			to say the truth about someone behind their
		
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			backs in the way that they would be
		
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			belittled is called backbiting. It's not a lie.
		
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			It's the truth. I heard something about you,
		
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			and I'm relating it. Nowadays it's so bad
		
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			because it's just the click of a button
		
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			on the phone or the touching of a
		
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			screen. That's it. And what did you do?
		
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			You belittle people. You don't even know they
		
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			might be friends of Allah or they might
		
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			be future friends of Allah. Allah might know
		
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			that in future this person is going to
		
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			come to me. You insulted, you abused, you
		
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			spread tales. It was all done either on
		
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			Twitter or WhatsApp or whatever it may be.
		
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			We're living in an age of social media.
		
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			But in all honesty,
		
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			when you think about it carefully and you
		
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			hold yourself back, what happens? You are protecting
		
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			yourself from engaging in a major sin known
		
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			as backbiting.
		
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			The hadith says,
		
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			the Quran
		
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			says,
		
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			Would any one of you like that
		
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			the flesh of your dead brother would be
		
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			consumed and you wouldn't like it? Right? You
		
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			wouldn't like it. I wouldn't.
		
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			So Islam says backbiting, which is telling the
		
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			truth, not a lie.
		
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			Backbiting is when you tell the truth about
		
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			someone behind their backs in a way that
		
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			they don't like it, then you're eating the
		
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			flesh of a dead person.
		
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			What about if you're lying? You don't even
		
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			know this person. We're living in an age
		
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			where we're doing a lot of good deeds,
		
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			but we're paying a price. We're paying a
		
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			price because
		
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			of the level
		
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			that we're
		
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			supposed to be at, that we're not at
		
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			of communication.
		
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			Wallahi. Do better. Wallahi. I want to tell
		
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			you sometimes I sit and look at non
		
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			Muslims in the professional world and the way
		
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			they deal with each other. So much of
		
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			discipline and integrity. And I tell myself, you
		
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			know what? We are believers. We've been taught
		
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			about the hereafter
		
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			as well. Let's do better.
		
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			I've worked on myself for years on end
		
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			and I can feel the improvement and I
		
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			invite you to do something even better by
		
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			the will of Allah. I'm a nobody,
		
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			but I'm telling you no matter how holy
		
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			you think you are, your tongue says it
		
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			all. No matter how powerful, authoritative, well, whatever
		
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			you think you are, go easy.
		
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			Everyone is human.
		
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			Allah has put them in your life to
		
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			test you. You humble or not?
		
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			If you are, Alhamdulillah,
		
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			if you're not, it's time to improve. That's
		
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			why we are here today. I wouldn't have
		
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			dreamt yesterday that I was going to be
		
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			here today, but here I am. And I
		
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			thought of this message because of something that
		
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			occurred last night. And I told myself, if
		
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			it was just the tongue that was a
		
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			little bit better, we could have solved the
		
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			problem. Solved the problem. Sometimes you go too
		
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			hard on someone. You swore them, curse them.
		
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			What what what what? And sometimes you do
		
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			it in your own circles. Let me tell
		
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			you something. There is nothing private anymore on
		
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			earth. Your best friend is telling other people
		
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			exactly what you said, knowingly or unknowingly.
		
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			Knowingly or unknowingly because that's how the world
		
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			has become. Everyone's become, you know,
		
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			a person who wants to be the first
		
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			to know, the first to tell. You see?
		
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			Right? May Allah Almighty grant us ease. Let's
		
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			correct the way we speak about each other
		
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			by the will of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
		
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			We will be able to help the situations.
		
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			We'll be able to
		
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			improve family relations.
		
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			I know things are tough,
		
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			but sometimes
		
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			things are tough. He's telling me there's 1
		
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			minute left.
		
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			Things are tough.
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:10
			But at the same time, my brothers and
		
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			sisters,
		
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			we need we need to respect each other.
		
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			The least you can offer someone is to
		
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			use your tongue in a correct way. That's
		
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			the least you can do. And actually, you're
		
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			offering it to yourself. Because
		
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			one last thing I want to quickly say,
		
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			when you come on the day of piyamal,
		
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			so many good deeds. One of the biggest
		
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			ways you're gonna lose is because you insulted
		
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			this one, belittle that one, spoke bad about
		
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			that one, backbitten about that one, slandered about
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:36
			that one. So your salah is gone there.
		
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			Your Hajj is gone there. Your Zakat is
		
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			gone there. And you're sitting with nothing. What
		
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			happened? Your tongue.
		
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			So when the prophet
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:44
			says watch your tongue, it's a powerful hadith.
		
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			He spoke about it beyond,
		
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			over and above and beyond your pillars and
		
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			everything because you're gonna fulfill all of that.
		
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			Yes, you're a Muslim, and you might lose
		
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			everything because of your tongue.
		
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			A lot more to say InshaAllah on another
		
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			occasion for now.