Mufti Menk – You Forgive But You Don’t Forget
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of forgiveness and limiting interactions with toxic people. They explain that forgiveness is a act of worship, and accepting and forgive is a separate act. The speaker also emphasizes the stress of avoiding interactions with toxic people and limiting one's relationships with them.AI: Transcript ©
A quick question.
You achieve forgiveness
more readily when you are prepared to forgive
others.
And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says it in
Surah An Nur as well, You
know, forgive and embrace. Would you not like
Allah to forgive you? For indeed Allah is
most forgiving, most merciful. Now, Allah knows we
are human beings and he knows we have
a heart and he knows we feel hurt
and he knows that we might find it
difficult to forgive,
he asks us to look into the matter
seriously.
You may forgive and you should forgive and
you should try and forgive.
But the question is, what if I can't
forget what was done?
You never ever need to forget what happened.
You don't need to. If over time you
have forgotten it was good because the relationship
might have built and you forgot what happened,
or it slipped your mind or it's no
longer in the front of your mind. But
initially it's very difficult and
you know, sometimes you don't even need to
interact with the people you've forgiven, but you've
let go.
This is something that many people don't understand.
I've spoken about it in the past
and I'm speaking about it again because someone's
asked me a question and this is the
answer to it. You forgive, but you don't
forget.
That's it. And you forgive. It doesn't mean
you need to embrace. To forgive is 1
act of worship, which is more important.
To embrace is another act of worship, which
is not as important
as the forgiving. Because sometimes you might have
a person who's really a nasty person. You've
forgiven them. They may not be genuine in
seeking that forgiveness. You may you may not
know you're a human being, but you've let
it go. But you want to limit your
interactions with them. Bravo.
That's actually a good thing. SubhanAllah.
It's good to limit your interactions with those
who may be toxic.
Those who may not have changed their ways.
I can't
handle being in their company. It's very stressful.
My mind,
has a pressure on it whenever I'm with
this person.
I feel so,
you know, strongly about not being with them.
And it just stresses me and gives me
the jitters or I I get depressed, whatever
else it may be. You just don't want
to be with them. No problem. There's nothing
that says you have to be with them.
They've wronged you in the past, they belittle
you, they mock at you, they lie about
you, they cause problems for you, you can
minimize your relationship with them, but
you've forgiven them. What am I gonna hold
it in my heart for? It's okay, I've
forgiven.
That's a very important lesson. I thought I'd
share that with you.
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