Mufti Menk – Why Apologise- Why Forgive- How will it help me
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Bismillah walhamdulillahi wassalatu wassalamu ala rasoolillahi wa ala
alihi wa sahbihi ajma'in.
We had a great evening, and alhamdulillah, we
cracked a few jokes, we had a quiz,
we had the opportunity to donate, and we
donated to good causes, starting with Gaza, Lebanon,
and so many other places, all for the
sake of Allah.
Beautiful crowd, lovely brothers and sisters seated here,
and wallahi, it is so beautiful in this
particular venue in Birmingham, alhamdulillah.
My brothers and sisters, Allah has favoured us
with so many favours.
I've been speaking about the favours of Allah,
because in the Qur'an He says, وَإِن
تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْسُونَهَا If you are
going to count the favours of Allah on
you, you will not be able to count
them all.
So, the biggest favour is the fact that
He's guided us towards Him.
We are believers, we believe in our Maker,
we worship Him alone, we are part of
the ummah of Nabi Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
That's the biggest favour.
Allah has guided you.
In fact, the dua or supplication that is
repeated the most on earth.
Does anyone know it?
A dua or a supplication that is repeated
billions of times a day on earth.
What is the dua?
اِهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمِ صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ The
dua that's repeated the most is, اِهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ
الْمُسْتَقِيمِ Guide us to the straight path.
Why?
In every unit of your prayer, you read
surah al-Fatiha.
And in that surah, the dua is all
about, O our Lord, guide us to the
straight path.
So, that would mean that the biggest favour
of Allah upon you ever would be guidance
to the straight path.
That's why I say, you want to count
the favours of Allah, start off by saying,
He's guided me.
Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
Thereafter, there are so many other favours.
Yesterday, I spoke about a favour of Allah,
while we were in Gloucester.
And I mentioned repentance, forgiveness, seeking the forgiveness
of Allah.
He's favoured us by allowing us to say,
I'm sorry I was wrong, forgive me.
And Him, in return, becoming happy.
And saying to us, I have forgiven you.
And saying to us, if you change your
ways and habits that were bad and negative,
and become a better person, I will convert
the bad that you did into good on
the scale of the Day of Judgement.
That's a favour of Allah.
Imagine if you were not allowed to say,
I'm sorry.
I mean, they do that to us a
lot.
If you were over speeding and they give
you a fine, you can't just go and
say, I'm sorry.
They will multiply that fine, right?
People don't accept it, I'm sorry.
You can't just apologise for anything and everything.
But at times, you find that certain people
will accept an apology, depending on what you
did, and depending on who they are too.
With Allah, He says, there is no case
and no way that someone repents to Me
from anything they've done, no matter what it
was.
And I don't forgive them for as long
as they were sincere.
There's no chance, no matter what you've done.
Allah says, for as long as you've apologised,
and for as long as you've sought forgiveness,
I will always forgive you, no matter what.
Even from shirk.
What is shirk?
When you associate partners with Allah, it's the
highest sin, the biggest sin that you could
commit.
In Islam, we're taught that it is association
of partnership with Allah.
But Allah says, if you're alive and you're
breathing and you're okay, and you seek forgiveness
from it, I will still forgive you.
The only time that forgiveness, Allah says He
won't do it, is for a person who
died without seeking forgiveness.
So if you and I had to pass
away, may Allah grant us a good death,
at a time when He's pleased with us.
Ameen.
If we were to pass away, the things
we sought forgiveness for, would have been wiped
out already.
When we repeat the tawbah, or repeat the
repentance, it's not because we're doubting that Allah
has or has not forgiven us, but rather,
it is out of us being shy, or
ashamed, or repetition, just to confirm.
You actually achieve a higher rank.
But the forgiveness happened the first time, you
asked Allah's forgiveness.
Say someone committed adultery, and they committed this
major sin, and they regretted it.
Regret is a sign of belief.
You will only regret if you have a
connection with Allah.
If you don't have a connection with Allah,
there is no regret.
You regret it because, you know, I shouldn't
have done this, I made a mistake.
The minute you say, Oh Allah, forgive me.
I was wrong.
Help me not to do this again.
I promise.
Allah says, You're forgiven.
What did you just commit?
A major sin.
You're forgiven.
But now, a day later, two days later,
what happens?
Shaytan comes to you and says, You're not
forgiven.
So you say, Oh Allah, forgive me.
Forgive me.
I know you are most forgiving.
Forgive me.
We're asking the forgiveness of Allah.
It should never be because we're doubting whether
we were forgiven or not.
No.
No.
We were forgiven.
But it is only because we want to
repeat it because repetition is good.
It keeps reminding us, I did something wrong.
Allah has blessed me by helping me and
guiding me towards seeking forgiveness.
Allah changes your life.
When a person's been leading their entire lives
away from Allah, and one day they come
in, and they say, I bear witness that
you are my Lord.
Allah says, I love you so much, I
delete all the bad you've ever done in
the past.
When you say, I bear witness there is
none worthy of worship but Allah.
What are you doing?
You're saying a shahada.
I bear witness that there is none worthy
of worship besides Allah.
I bear witness that Muhammad, peace be upon
him, is his messenger or his worshipper, his
slave.
The hadith says, when you enter the fold
of Islam, it deletes everything bad or negative
or sinful that you did before that point.
It's wiped out.
So a young guy came to me once,
and you might have heard me say this
before, and he tells me, I feel like
exiting Islam and coming back to Islam.
It didn't make sense.
I'm trying to think, why would he say
this?
So I asked him, why?
Why do you want to leave and come
back?
And he said, because when I hear of
the virtue of a person who's come to
Islam, I feel I'm a born Muslim, I
did wrong, I seek the forgiveness of Allah,
but I want to be pure, I want
to be a person whom the past is
deleted for them.
So if I go out and come back
in, perhaps I'll start off with a new
leaf.
I'll have turned over a new leaf.
Are you understanding what he's trying to say?
I said, listen my son, I looked at
him and I felt his pain.
I felt his pain, and I felt the
seriousness of him turning to Allah.
I said, do you know that when you
engage in sincere repentance, you get exactly the
same reward.
اَلْتَٰئِبُ مِنَ الذَّنْبِ كَمَلَّا ذَنْبَ لَهِ اَلْتَوْبَةُ تَجُبُّ
مَا قَبْلَهَا You seek forgiveness, it will wipe
out whatever happened before it.
You turn back to Allah, it is as
though you did not commit the sin.
When you repent from a sin, you become
equivalent to the one who did not commit
the sin.
So one might ask, well then what's the
point?
I rather just commit sin and say, oh
Allah forgive me, because if I'm the same
as a person who's never committed a sin.
Let me tell you, a bonus that a
person who's steadfast would get is something that
Allah alone will reward.
When I come with my good deed on
the day of judgment, Allah will multiply it.
مَنْ جَاءَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ فَلَهُ عَشْرُ أَمْثَالِهَا Whoever comes
with a good deed on the day of
judgment and you brought it.
Say for example, I'm picturing a man with
a sack, and all his good deeds in
the sack.
I'm just picturing it, right?
It's not gonna be the case, obviously.
But imagine he comes and he puts forth
the sack and opens it all bare.
And he's come, he reached here.
And now that he's reached here, we're gonna
treat him differently.
The same applies to you and I.
If you make it to the day of
judgment with your good deed, that's when Allah
says, I will now multiply it for you.
Why?
Because it's very difficult to keep a good
deed once you've engaged in it.
We gave our charities, mashallah, we gave thousands,
alhamdulillah.
A lot has happened, but it's not easy
for me to keep that good deed because
the minute you backbite someone, something goes away.
The minute you slandered someone, something goes away.
The minute you wronged someone, something goes away.
So, when you get to the day of
judgment, you might not find those deeds.
Where did they go?
You did a lot of prayer, you did
a lot of charity, you went for hajj,
you did so much of sacrifice for the
sake of Allah.
Someone else got the reward because on that
day the currency is deeds.
So the payment of the bad you did
would be your deeds, they would go.
So Allah Almighty says, do not allow yourself
to wrong a fellow human in the way
that your deeds are going to go.
If you have done something, go to them
and apologize.
Sister, I'm so sorry.
I said some really nasty things about you.
I forwarded some ugly messages about you.
I really had some...
You know what?
They might forgive you, inshallah, I hope they
will.
Subhanallahi rabbil alameen.
I hope they will.
But not everyone will forgive you.
Some of them would say, I'll see you
on the day of judgment.
Have you heard people say that?
I will see you on the day of
judgment.
We will fix this on the day of
judgment.
That's what they say.
Is that answer okay?
Is it okay?
Why are you saying no?
It is okay.
It's their right.
They have a right.
If you wronged someone and you say, forgive
me.
They have a right to say okay or
no, right?
We are encouraged to say okay.
We are encouraged that when someone comes to
seek forgiveness, we are encouraged to say, just
forgive them.
Allah tells Abu Bakr as-Siddiq r.a
in Surah An-Nur, to forgive Mistah ibn
Atata for spreading rumors about his daughter, the
mother of the believers, Aisha r.a, regarding
a sin she didn't commit.
And Allah says, وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن
يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ Forgive, embrace.
It's okay, let it go.
Would you not like Allah to let you
go to forgive you, etc., etc.?
Well, forgive them, Allah forgive you.
It will become easier.
You did some things wrong against Allah, Allah
says He will forgive you.
That person did something wrong against you, you
forgave them.
When you forgave them, Allah saw the quality
of mercy in your heart and His quality
of mercy is the highest.
So He will prove to you that He's
way more merciful than you could ever be.
And therefore He will say, I forgive you
too, you forgave that person.
That's one of the reasons that you're encouraged.
But if you want to say, no, I'm
not gonna forgive.
It's your right, it's your right.
You can come on the day of judgment
and say, I have a bone to pick
with this person.
In fact, they will tell that to you
before you tell that to them, right?
However, there's another reason.
What is the other reason?
The other reason you're encouraged to forgive is
because if you are getting paradise, right?
If you're getting paradise, don't worry about what
other people are getting.
Let them get paradise too, it's okay.
It's okay.
Someone's wronged you and they say, forgive me.
I will forgive them not because I think
they deserve to be forgiven, but I will
forgive them because I believe that if I
am earning paradise, let them be there too.
It's okay, they're human, they must be Muslim
in most cases, family members in most cases,
in-laws in a lot of cases, right?
Astaghfirullah, sorry about that.
But people whom you came to interact with
later on, forgive, it's okay.
I'll forgive because Allah loves those who forgive.
And I'll forgive because if I'm going to
go to paradise, let them come too.
Now, imagine you have a person who's wronged
you.
You want to tell them, I forgive you,
but you fear that they might repeat whatever
they've done.
They could repeat it.
Someone slandered you, was backbiting about you, did
something against you and then they come to
you and say, forgive me.
Say, don't worry, forgiven.
Oh, they might just do it again.
If there's fear that they might do it
again, you don't have to communicate the forgiveness
to them.
I'm forgiving this person, releasing them from my
side without telling them you're actually released.
Let them live a life thinking they're not
forgiven.
How's that?
He says, cheeky, but it could serve a
purpose.
I'm not saying that's the ideal, it's not
the ideal.
But if you feel they're going to come
back and do something, maybe it might be
the second or third time.
Then you can just say, we'll see, that's
okay, leave it.
And keep going.
So, at least they can live in a
constant sort of a worry, I don't want
to wrong this person.
Rather than just say, forgiven.
Now I have a policy.
I have a policy and I'm going to
tell you something.
Because we learn and we read the hadith,
the ahadith, the Qur'an.
And what the scholars have said, and what
the sahabah r.a before them have actually
said.
The scholars from among the sahabah, they were
scholars.
A lot of them knew a lot.
And that's how we got our deen.
And I learnt one thing.
You see where you are today.
Are you not in a better position than
your forefathers were?
Or your parents or grandparents were?
Do you know your great grandparents?
Let's say your grandparents.
Do you know your grandparents?
Pause for a moment and put them in
your mind.
And think to yourself, look at the condition
they lived on earth.
And look at my condition I'm living on
earth.
Am I not in a much better position
than they were?
Let's be honest.
Almost 99 to 100% of us will
say, yes, you're right.
Yes, you're right.
I'm in a much better position.
So I'm in such a brilliant position that
Allah has put me in.
How did you get here?
Let me tell you how you got here.
You got here because of Allah's design and
plan for you.
Somehow something happened.
There could have been a problem.
There could have been a war zone.
There could have been fighting, killing.
There could have been whatever.
Or you could have been born in this
area.
Maybe your folks came in to do business
or to settle or whatever it might have
been.
Or you could be originally from here, whatever
it was.
Allah's plan as you grew up, you interacted,
you went to certain schools, you mixed with
certain people.
Some were very nice, some were not very
nice.
Some you hardly knew, some you knew very
well.
From among those you knew very well, some
betrayed you, some continue to betray you.
With all of that put together, today you
are where you are.
No point in holding things in your heart.
I am where I am today with the
haters.
So I thank Allah for them.
And I don't want them to reverse and
go back and delete.
Don't.
It is only with your hate that Allah
allowed us to be where we are.
Follow what I'm saying.
If you didn't want them, you would not
be here.
How do I know this?
Because that's part of Allah's plan.
He did it with the prophets of Allah.
Jesus may peace be upon him.
Do you know what slander his own people
leveled against his mother and him?
Musa may peace be upon him.
What did the pharaoh say to him and
the others?
Muhammad may peace be upon him.
What did his people say about him?
Did they not call him a womanizer?
Did they not say he was after money?
Did they not say he was after authority?
Did they not call him a madman?
Did they not call him a magician?
Did they not call him all sorts of
names?
What happened?
They were affected negatively.
They dropped.
What happened to him?
He kept on going up.
So tonight I want to teach you something.
When negativity comes in your direction, take it
in your stride.
Thank Allah.
Thank Allah.
Keep moving.
You're going to fly very very high.
They would never have hated on you if
you did not have anything.
Never.
You would be so insignificant.
You wouldn't have...
The people wouldn't even look at your direction.
They say, nobody kicks a dead dog.
The dog is dead.
So if something happens in your life, and
has happened, don't hold too much.
You'll become unwell.
Let it go.
Leave it.
Release it.
You're encouraged to release it.
Allah Almighty says, وَجَزَاءُ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِثْلُهَا۟ When
someone has done evil, the recompense of something
evil is something similar back.
Someone slapped you, you can slap him back.
Someone did something, you can do it back.
It's your right.
But what does Allah say immediately after that?
فَمَنْ عَفَى وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ Whoever forgives,
forgoes, their reward will be with Allah.
If Allah has encouraged something and rewards it
in the Akhirah, He will reward it in
this world too.
There has to be a reason why Allah
encouraged you to let go.
You have a problem with your brother, your
sister, your family, whoever.
Try your best to resolve it.
Yes, if it is toxic.
Like sometimes we talk to people generally, but
there are some examples where this doesn't fit.
I had a case where a father raped
a daughter and then we were talking about
the rights of parents, and rights of parents,
and this person later on sent me an
email to say, I did not appreciate what
you said because I was raped by my
own father.
Well, if that is the case, it's the
exception from what we're saying.
I hope you understand where I'm going.
Because we speak in general terms, if there
is a case between brothers and sisters that's
beyond the level of...
it becomes criminal, then sorry, we're not talking
about that.
May Allah make it easy.
Then you might want to seek specific guidance
on the matter from people you trust and
whom you believe would have your best interest
at heart.
But if you don't forgive generally and you
hold everything within you, you are not going
to develop as a person.
You become unwell, you don't enjoy your food,
your drink, you don't want to see people,
you don't want to interact with people.
Allah knows where He made you.
Allah knows where He caused your birth.
He knows your family.
Look at your sister, your brother and tell
yourself, Allah chose them for me so I'm
going to navigate through as difficult as it's
going to be with these parents or with
these children or with these siblings.
It's not easy.
Some of us have children and sometimes some
of those children may lead a life that's
not something you would like to see.
Not something you would like to see.
I had youngsters come to me with that
fluffy mop cut.
You know the mop cut on the hair?
MashaAllah, some of you might have it.
What did you say?
What's mop cut?
I'm glad you don't know.
Don't even find out.
Looks like a mop.
We could turn you the other way around
and mop the floor.
But nonetheless, so the father looks at me
and says, look at this.
I said, what's wrong with his hair?
He says, Astaghfirullah, I thought you would say
something.
I said, listen, you're picking on his hair.
He's such a lovely child.
Let him enjoy this hair for as long
as it's not kaza within what the Prophet
shallallahu alaihi wa sallam has prohibited.
Leave it.
It's minor.
He's not on drugs, he's not an alcoholic,
he doesn't gamble, he doesn't go to the
clubs, he's not a dirty guy.
He's so well presented.
In the sense that he comes across so
polite, he greets, he's helpful.
Appreciate him.
Come on, hair.
What's the big deal?
You follow what I'm saying?
You're going to pick on everything.
You're going to distance him from you.
He won't want to come in your presence.
Why?
Hey, dad's there.
He's going to pick on my hair.
Or in the middle of summer, he's going
to be wearing a beanie.
Am I right?
He's going to be wearing a hat on
his head, big warm hat or whatever hat
it may be.
Why?
Because I don't want my dad to say,
why should there be that relationship?
Let it be cool.
Let it be a decent relationship.
And if for example, they've gotten to something
that's prohibited, really, you can guide them inshallah
in a beautiful way.
Sorry, the young boys with the mop cut,
you can come back bro.
You can have a seat.
You guys walking away?
You're upset with what I said?
No bro, I love your hair.
Don't worry habibi, inshallah khair.
No seriously, they're walking off.
No, no, no.
Barakallah khair.
So, to be honest, the point I'm raising
is, you know, to hold things within your
heart and to keep things on your shoulders,
it's not a good idea.
Let go as much as you can.
Allah chose the people around you and Allah
knows who they are and what their temperament
is.
Sometimes Allah wants you to earn your paradise
through navigating a tough relationship that you have
no option but to have.
What do I mean by no option?
If it's a spouse and it goes beyond
five red lines, you can get out of
it.
Not even five, the first red line, you
can walk out.
The second red line, if you have tried
and you can't, I can't tell you you
got to stay and I can't tell you
you got to go.
That's up to you.
You got to know, did you try your
best?
Is this the last resort?
It is.
Then you can walk out.
It's a blessing sometimes.
But we're talking about the relationships you've got
no option.
That's my brother, man.
That's my mom.
That's my father.
That's my child.
That's my sibling.
What could I do?
Nothing.
Allah knows it.
You're going to have to navigate through it.
Sometimes navigation could mean one step back.
I took a step back.
Why?
I don't want to have so much to
do with them because it's so toxic but
I'm going to be good.
I'm going to be polite.
I'm going to try my best and so
on.
And that will help you be a positive
person, a happy person, content person.
Why?
I don't have baggage.
Not too much baggage.
Whenever I fly, they say 23 kilos.
Have you heard that?
Yes, 23 is a big bonus.
Some of these airlines say no luggage.
You've got to pay for everything.
You've seen those ones in England?
They call them...
Well, let me not mention names.
Just now I might offend people.
Whenever I see the restriction on luggage, I
always remember a lecture I heard years back
where the speaker was saying that you know
what?
We also have to take luggage into the
hereafter.
Take the least you can.
The least you can.
A little bit.
I don't need more.
Let it go.
Have a good heart.
It's okay.
I'm a happy person.
Alhamdulillah.
Allah has given me, bestowed upon.
You'll feel better.
You will actually...
People would love to be in your company.
I'll give you an example of my mother.
A lovely lady.
My own mother.
My kids, every time...
I hope she doesn't ever hear this.
But mind you, she's got a phone now
and she knows how it works even though
she's almost 90.
MashaAllah.
But I tell you what, the kids, every
time they come in and she would, out
of love, she would say this and say
that and so the kids don't want to
go.
Right?
And I'm surprised.
That's granny.
Come on.
I spend every evening, I go home and
sit for an hour or two with my
mum and dad when I'm at home.
It has to happen.
I don't force anyone else to come with
me because they're my parents.
But I'd love it if they did come.
But end of the day, I'm the one
who's gone.
The kids, there was a time when they
wouldn't want to come.
And what was the reason?
I got to the bottom of it and
it's because you're picking on things.
What did I do?
Sat my mum down and explained to her,
you know what, at this age, you don't
need to pick on anyone.
Because why?
If you'd love to see your grandkids, all
of them around you, happy and everyone coming
home and hugging you and you know, really
having a ball of time with you and
so on.
Just mashallah you smile and anything you need
to tell them, tell me, I'll tell them.
How's that?
I'll be the bad person.
And guess what?
It transformed the whole relationship from slightly negative
or getting negative to something very positive.
Today, whoa, we're going to, you know, grand's
house.
Wow, let's go.
Subhanallah.
May Allah Almighty grant us ease.
May Allah Almighty bless us.
The reason I say this is, when you
pick on people for everything, they won't even
want to come to you.
The world is different.
Today, you have challenges.
Everyone is living in an environment.
You don't know what environment they're living in.
As a result of that, they might be
pressured to dressing a certain way, to doing
certain things and so on.
Give you a quick example.
I'm 50.
Years ago, when we were little, like 5,
7, I don't remember a single female with
makeup.
Honestly.
What happened?
The world changed.
Now there's so much pressure on people that
you must paint yourself.
So those who don't actually have 5 inches,
wallahi, they're doing so much better than those
who've got 5 and 10 inches on.
And I always say, pick up your phone
and have it on face recognition.
And if it recognizes you, khalas, it's okay.
If it doesn't recognize you, it's a bit
much, it's a bit much.
Because try and tell them, don't do it.
Try and tell them, don't do it.
They'll tell you, are you for real?
It's okay.
You can have a blemish or two.
You can have a mark or two.
You want to do a little bit, maybe
a few marks.
But don't overdo.
The only thing, as a father and a
grandfather, the only thing I would like to
say is don't overdo things.
You need to know, carry yourself with a
level of respect.
Carry yourself with dignity and learn to love
yourself.
Learn to love yourself.
I've said it every day of my life.
Learn to love yourself the way you are.
That's it.
If you don't, you're going to end up
doing things that you're going to regret.
Because you become enslaved.
And when you're enslaved, whatever you're enslaved by
will keep changing.
The norms of the world are different.
I remember when we were kids, the men
used to wear something called bell bottoms.
Do you know what those are?
Bell bottoms.
In the 1970s and 80s.
You don't know them, don't worry.
They were out of fashion, they came back
in fashion.
And then they went out of fashion and
I tell you what, because I'm talking about
it one day, they probably come back in
fashion.
Right?
The same applies to motor vehicles.
We used to have round lights on the
cars.
They've shifted from round to rectangular, rectangular to
square, square to LED.
And now there's some cars with round lights
again.
And what's the idea?
Well, it's just human.
So, if you're going to be enslaved by
that, you're going to keep rotating.
You're not going to like what you did.
And I don't even want to go to
the area of fillers and Botox and what
not.
I don't even want to go there because
I don't want to talk too much about
it.
All I want to say is, carry yourself
with dignity.
Don't overdo things.
Learn to love yourself.
Wallahi.
The one who loves you as you are,
is the one who deserves to be with
you.
The one who doesn't, trust me, you don't
need them closer to you.
Not at all.
Learn to love yourself as you are, by
the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So, as you forgive others, you need to
appreciate yourself.
And you will learn that Allah has blessed
me.
One of the favors of Allah upon you
is your ability to forgive others.
It's a very big favor.
And like I said, it's more to do
with releasing the tension and stress that you
have than the others.
I don't need to associate.
I have people who have wronged me so
badly.
But it's okay.
I pray for them for Jannah.
May Allah grant them Jannah.
We'll go there and laugh about what happened
on earth.
But they've wronged me and continue perhaps to
wrong me to this day.
I promise you, I want goodness for them.
And I don't mind because what they would
ever do wouldn't really change what Allah has
chosen in terms of the path for us.
But, by releasing it, I'm a happy, healthy
person.
You mix with me.
You come with me and with all others
who are similar.
And you'll find a lot of positive.
You would never guess.
If I were to tell you some of
the issues I have, you do not have
those issues or anything near in terms of
things.
If you want to know what I've been
through in my life, you will weep.
You will cry.
It will hurt you.
No, it's okay.
It happened.
We release for the love of Allah.
What hasn't He given us?
What hasn't He given us?
He has favored us.
He's given.
People have stolen money.
People have wronged us.
So deep, I don't even want to get
into detail because I don't even want to
hurt them.
Leave it.
You hurt me, it's okay.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
You see, Yusuf A.S, that story where
the brothers did whatever they did and so
on.
What happened at the end?
What did he do?
He says, forgive them.
لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَهُوَ
أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ He says, no retribution against you
today.
Allah will forgive you.
He is the most forgiving, most merciful.
It's okay, you can go.
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, Quraish, on the
day of victory of Makkah, a statement that
really moves me.
Quraish had killed Muslims.
They drove them out of their homes.
They stole their property.
They did whatever they did.
They harmed so much.
And this was the victory of Makkah where
the Muslim army is marching into Makkah.
And they knew the Muslims were just.
You wanna talk about the most moral?
Muslims, the most moral ever.
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, at the time
of war, the justice and the goodness and
the kindness was unmatched.
He comes and he's standing and the same
enemies are all in front of him.
I was telling someone the other day, that
you know when we interact with people, be
humble.
I say, when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
was entering Makkah victorious, you know, if it
was anyone else, they would, guys, I'm the
winner, we won.
You know, you win a little match in
the boxing ring first round, you knocked out
your opponent, and next best thing, you're like
the most arrogant guy on earth.
It shouldn't be humble, humble.
Calm down.
Praise Allah.
Praise Allah.
Thank Allah.
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam put his head
down on the neck of his camel as
though he was in sujood.
And he came in with so much of
humility into Makkah.
And he knew, victory is ours.
Omar ibn al-Khattab radiallahu anhu walking into
Jerusalem.
The narrations have a lot.
And one of the narration states that he
was walking with one of his helpers.
And at the time of entry into Jerusalem,
because they had one animal, they were taking
turns to sit on it.
And it was the turn of the helper
or the servant.
And he says, no, no, no, no, you
get up because now we're going to enter
the city.
We're going to enter the city.
And as we enter the city, they need
to know you are the leader.
He says, no, it's your turn.
Jump up.
He walked holding this animal entering Jerusalem.
And everyone's greeting the servants, the people who
didn't know.
And here come the Muslimin and they're greeting
Amirul Mu'minin.
Justice.
Justice.
So the Prophet shallallahu alaihi wa sallam comes
in.
And Quraysh is waiting.
Some of them ran away, they're hiding.
But then they all had to gather to
listen to what this leader had to say.
Ya ma'shara Quraysh, O people of Quraysh, matha
tadunnoona anni fa'ilun bikum?
What do you think I'm going to do
to you today?
What a powerful question.
Imagine someone you've hurt them, harmed them.
And the day you have the capacity to
crush them completely and you ask them, what
do you think I'm going to do to
you today?
What did they have to say?
Nothing.
They didn't know what to say.
Some of them said, well, you're a good
man.
Now suddenly you're a good man, right?
Up to now I was not a good
man.
You know?
Idhabu fa'antumut tulqa.
Go, all of you, you're free.
How difficult do you think that would have
been?
People who've murdered, people who've destroyed, people who've
stolen, people who've usurped.
And here is the messenger saying, go, all
of you are free.
It's okay.
They were stunned.
That gesture alone turned a lot of them
towards him and towards the deen of Allah.
We are not prepared to forgive a family
member.
You don't have to get up and say,
idhabu fa'antumut tulqa.
It's not even on that level whatsoever.
But just, you know, that's your brother.
You know, you have talk, communicate, as painful
and difficult as it is, talk, communicate, try
again, try again, and again, after they've given
up, you've given up, try again.
I remember a case where people blocked each
other.
And I'm a counselor for the last 25
years.
Since 1999.
And I tell you something, a case where
people have blocked each other, siblings.
And I remember saying, brother, keep trying.
Oh, but he's blocked me.
I said, keep trying.
Nobody doesn't want to hear.
They flitter.
I said, keep trying.
You know what, that's your brother.
Keep trying.
And a few years later, he told me,
you know what, we have become so close
and inseparable.
I don't know whose du'a it is.
I said, together with the du'a, it's
also the trial.
Allah puts barakah in the trial.
You will be rewarded for trying, even if
they don't reciprocate it.
Many times you want to make peace.
They don't want to make peace.
You're going for hajj.
You know what they do for hajj.
They send a message and they say, Alhamdulillah,
Allah has chosen us to go for hajj.
We are so grateful.
We want to ask you to forgive us
for anything we may have said or done.
I always reply and say, is there anything
you said or did?
Because I don't know of anything.
Because you can't just have a wholesale message.
You didn't just go to Costco or somewhere.
It's got to be retail.
You got to actually message one by one,
brother, I have said a few things about
you that were not so nice.
Please forgive me.
Straight up.
And the brother says, don't worry, you're forgiven.
Allahu Akbar.
Or sometimes they might want to say, you're
not forgiven.
Well, if they say you're not forgiven, you
have hard work.
I've had people come to me and say,
but I'm going for hajj.
How dare he don't forgive me.
Come on, how could you say that?
Going for hajj, that means you can whack
everybody, do whatever you want with all and
then just announce, I'm going for hajj, guys.
That's not how it works.
So, yes, we're encouraged to forgive.
And we will forgive.
It's a family member.
You got to work.
You got to work hard.
You got to try.
Make an effort.
And then you need to know that Allah
chose these people in your life.
Allah chose them.
He put them there.
You need to earn your paradise through navigating
that relationship.
That's how you will earn your paradise.
Sometimes your paradise is because you have a
difficult person that you can't really do anything
about in terms of going further than a
certain point.
Because of how close proximity, Allah put them
to you.
You're going to have to navigate.
Maybe that's your ticket to Jannah.
Imagine when you die, and you get to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and they're taking
accounts, and you're told, no accounts for you.
Keep going.
How?
I'm such a sinful person.
And you're wondering, guess what?
It was your patience you bore with a
person you didn't have an option with but
to bear the patience.
Wow!
Whoever it might be.
إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ Those who
bear patience, Allah says, we recompense them with
a reward that is unlimited.
When you see it, you will think to
yourself, why wasn't I in that condition?
For a longer time, I would have got
a higher rank in paradise.
You're sick and ill.
Get medication.
Try your best.
Do whatever.
Have hope in the mercy of Allah.
Very powerful message.
Have hope even if you're terminally ill.
And even if you watch yourself deteriorating, have
hope and call out to Allah, believing that
He can create the miracle because even if
you die as a result, and even if
you are getting worse, the hope alone is
an act of worship.
The fact that you believed Allah could cure
you, He will say, I knew you were
going to die, but you believed in Me
so strongly, for you is paradise.
No reckoning.
Eternal bliss.
Highest rank.
You're going to say to yourself, I wish
I was ill a little bit longer and
had a bit more hope.
What are you struggling with?
Cancer.
May Allah cure you.
What if the doctor said, six days, six
weeks to live.
I know someone and many people who are
living years on.
But you're still going to die in some
way without the cancer.
So when we say, may Allah cure you,
ultimately I've got to go.
I've got to go.
You've got to go.
It's just when you go, how do you
want to go?
Very important question.
Would you like to go when you're done
with a life of say 80 years or
so, between 80 and 100, to say, yeah,
that sounds good.
You want a healthy life, right?
Yeah, that sounds good.
You've got to watch how you eat then.
You've got to exercise every day.
You've got to be disciplined and you've got
to sleep at night.
You've got to put your phone aside.
And I'm honest, I'm dead serious with what
I just said now.
If Allah wants to take you, He'll take
you before, even if you're healthy.
And if He wants, He can keep you
for longer even if you're unhealthy.
But say you want to live for so
many years, then what?
Is it better to go after a nice
long life or is it better to go
whenever Allah is pleased with you, even if
you're 18?
Tough one, right?
Say, well, okay, I know that Allah should
be pleased with me, then I should go.
But let's make it a little bit more
than 18.
Come on, 18, I'm young, I'm not even
married yet.
I remember when I was young, when I
was young, we were little boys.
In fact, one of the guys sitting here,
I don't know where he is right now,
Siraj, we were in school together for seven
years.
I went to pick him up from his
home.
I said, I'm here.
I'm going to take you to this event.
Let's go.
And we were little boys.
And we're thinking, do you think we'll die
before we ever get married?
Come on, what a question.
See, the guy is smiling.
I think you guys are not married yet,
yeah?
Inshallah, you will.
Look at us today, we're grandfathers.
Allah, I've got four grandchildren.
Subhanallah.
So my brothers and sisters, the point is,
would you like a long life or would
you like the happiness of Allah?
A true answer is, we'd like a bit
of both, inshallah.
Right?
It's fair.
I'd like to lead a life where Allah
is pleased with me.
I'm going to try my best, inshallah.
And at the same time, I want to
see at least my children settle a little
bit.
You know, it's good to see, especially a
lot of us want to see our kids,
our sons and daughters, perhaps, you know, the
fact that they settled a bit in life.
But do you know the disease?
By default, you see all your children, say
you've got four kids and they're all married
now.
Now what do you want life for?
Quickly say it.
Grandkids.
And then what do you want?
Now you can play, I played with my
grandkids.
Oh, they call you a nani or a
dadi or jaddo or jiddo or whatever it
might be.
It's fine.
Can I tell you what?
Then you want to see them grow older.
Then you want to see them getting married.
Where does it stop?
When they get married, you say, my grandchild's
going to be having, inshallah, they're expecting a
baby.
And you're saying, oh Allah, let me at
least see it.
See the baby and go away.
You're going to see the baby and then
you're going to tell the angel, I saw
the baby.
That's not how it works.
That's not how it works.
You're going to see the baby, then you're
going to want to see the baby grow
and it doesn't stop.
So Allah says, we'll stop it where we
want to stop it.
So make a dua.
Oh Allah, give me a good healthy life
where you keep me within your obedience content
and take me away when you know it's
the best time for me to go and
you're pleased with me.
Allahu Akbar.
Long dua.
Say ameen.
May Allah grant us goodness.
And I want to end tonight's talk because
it's already 10 o'clock.
I spoke for 45 minutes.
Thanks for telling me 30 because I didn't
listen.
I mean, people have come from far and
wide.
They wanted to hear a talk, right?
And tomorrow is a Sunday.
And Fajr is still a bit of a
while for Fajr.
You see, Allahu Akbar.
Tonight we spoke about forgiveness.
Seeking the forgiveness of Allah and learning to
forgive one another and navigating through tough relations
and the reward that you get when you
bear patience.
The reward that you get is when you
understand the decree of Allah.
Call out to Allah with conviction even if
it's not coming.
You know, people at the moment in a
war zone, say for example, Lebanon.
Say for example, Palestine.
Right now, imagine what they're going through.
Imagine what is happening.
They are being randomly destroyed.
Buildings coming down with hundreds.
You don't even know how many people.
You know when they say, 40 dead, do
you know how they count?
Go and find out how they count.
Only a body you've retrieved is allowed to
be counted.
That's it.
So when they say 400, there's 400 bodies
they found.
What about the 4,000 they haven't even
had a trace of because they dissolved or
disappeared or evaporated.
Because of weapons you're not allowed to use
as a human being, like white phosphorus and
so on.
Can you imagine what type of dua are
they going to be making?
What type of hope or hopelessness?
That is a tough one.
May Allah strengthen them, grant them the highest
ranks of Jannah.
And may Allah make it easy for them.
Imagine the dua, and you see what's happening
in front of you, behind you, on the
side, and people are justifying it.
And people are laughing at it.
And here we are, and we don't even
know where do you go.
The ummah, I am helpless.
No matter what you do, you have not
done enough.
No matter what I do, it will never
be enough.
It needs to stop.
Are you a human?
Those are cousins, Ismail and Ishaq.
Those are brothers.
Imagine where it's gone down to.
Imagine if they were around to watch what's
happening, Ibrahim A.S. Imagine what would have
happened.
May Allah Almighty grant us forgiveness.
So, the conviction with which they would say,
Oh Allah, protect us.
Oh Allah, grant us.
And they are saying, Oh Allah, we know
you will protect.
And next thing something happens, and boom, they
disappear.
Gone.
Martyr.
Allah says, because of the conviction with which
you called out to us, we grant you
the highest of ranks.
There was conviction.
We knew this was the time you had
to go, and we knew that this was
the way you had to go in order
for you to get to where you ultimately
had to go for the eternal bliss that
would last forever and ever and ever.
Subhanallah.
Eternal bliss.
So, if I suffered in this world a
bit, or a lot, but I have eternal
bliss.
Am I not better than a person who
did not suffer at all?
And then, they have no eternal bliss.
They suffer in the hereafter.
I'm a human.
I want to be reasonable.
I want goodness here and goodness there.
Allah knows this.
That's why the dua that is taught to
us in Surah Al-Baqarah, رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي
الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً Oh Allah, we
want goodness here, we want goodness there.
I need a Ferrari here, and I need...
What do I want there?
What?
Ferrari there?
There's no Ferraris in Jannah.
Sorry, man.
It's too crappy a car to be in
Jannah, man.
Allahu Akbar.
Sorry, say it again.
Can I tell you, if you had to
have a Ferrari in paradise, you wouldn't want
it.
It doesn't qualify.
The hadith says, you only get that which
you didn't even imagine.
Because it's out of your imagination.
That's it.
If you've imagined something, it is not there.
According to how you imagined it.
It can't be there.
It's not...
Your imagination, your mind and your brain is
not even full.
In the sense that, it is flawed.
When Allah gives you the perfect mind and
brain, there in the hereafter, or whatever He's
going to give you in terms of that,
you will then realize that, you know what?
Whatever was in this world was actually a
deception.
Imagine they gave it value.
Subhanallah.
When you came onto the earth, you came
with nothing.
When you're going, you're gonna go with nothing.
Whatever you found here is just a joke,
man.
It's just a joke.
And we get excited and we get happy.
But mashaAllah, may Allah grant us Jannah.
I'm convinced by the will of Allah, that
He will have mercy on us.
I don't believe.
And I think we can all say this
for ourselves.
I don't believe we're evil.
I think there's goodness in us.
There's kindness.
Look at us this evening.
How much did we give and donate?
Even those who were unable to.
I'm sure there was a dua.
I'm sure.
I mean the fact that we've gathered here,
to hear a good word and so on.
It's already a sign.
There's goodness in the heart.
Don't be too hard on yourself, to make
yourself think that I'm a little Satan.
No, you're not.
You're a good person.
You have goodness in you.
Build it.
Work on it.
InshaAllah, you'll grow slowly, slowly and surely.
You become better and better, such that the
day you meet with Allah, you will be
on your best.
And Allah will forgive you, and He will
give you Jannah by His mercy.
Yes, we are concerned.
We are worried.
We do fear the punishment of Allah.
But as I said in the past, the
fear of Allah is more fearing Him.
A fear that is born out of love.
You want me to quickly explain that?
Fear Allah.
People say Allah is most loving, most kind
and so on.
So, why should I be scared of Him?
Why should I fear Allah when He's so
loving, so kind, so merciful?
I remember on TikTok, I was scrolling and
I saw someone say, don't tell me to
do this.
Allah will understand.
You know, that's a statement that you can't
say.
If you're saying it in order to get
away with halal and haram, then you have
a problem.
If you want to get away with something
haram that you've done, and you're saying, don't
worry, Allah will understand, then you have a
problem.
But if you're saying it when you're seeking
forgiveness and you know you have a human
weakness and so on, then it's something that
inshallah, we hope Allah will forgive.
So, what is the meaning of the term
fear that is born out of love?
Quickly.
If you love someone so much, so dearly,
think of someone in your mind whom you
love so dearly, right?
You got someone in your mind?
Halal or haram?
Halal, that's the way, yeah.
We got simply nikah here by the way.
Okay.
Think of someone you love so dearly, right?
Would you ever do something that would destroy
the relation or make them upset or anger
them?
Would you?
You wouldn't want to.
What does that mean?
You are scared of doing something that would
anger them.
Exactly Allah, I love him so much that
I'm scared, I fear doing something that might
anger him.
In the case of Allah, Allah doesn't get
hurt.
He's not hurt.
No ways.
Hurt is for human beings.
But what is meant here is it's going
to cause a rift in the relationship between
you and that person.
In the case of Allah, it will cause
a rift in the relationship between you and
Allah.
More so on your side.
So this is what is meant by saying,
when you say fear Allah, what you mean
is you need to love Allah so much
that you would not do what you're doing
because you love him.
Now do you understand what is meant by
a fear that is born out of love?
And that's how we fear Allah, fear the
punishment of Allah and so on.
May Allah grant us goodness.
I've spoken so much.
But inshallah, I'm going to be coming back
to Birmingham inshallah.
By his will and mercy.
I want to thank you all for sitting
here for so long.
To me, this seemed like about 20 minutes,
25 minutes.
But guess what?
We spoke for about 50 minutes or more.
Allahu Akbar.
Barakallahu feekum.
See you guys soon again.
You can see I don't want to leave
from here.
But...
It felt like 5 hours.
Come on.
You could have given me a bit of
credit there.
He says it felt like 5 hours.
I'm so sorry Habibi.
Mashallah.
Would you like to come up man?
Shake my hand bro.
Mashallah.
Allahu Akbar.
What's your name?
My name is Hoshi.
Your name is what?
Hoshi.
Okay.
Everyone wants to listen to you speak until
Fajr.
Mashallah.
Would you like to come here?
Mashallah.
Okay.
You can have a seat.
Barakallahu feekum.
Jazakumullahu khair.
Aqoolu qawlihi hadha wa sallallahu wa sallamu ala
nabiyyina Muhammad wa sallamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa
barakatuh.