Mufti Menk – When Your Parents Oppress Your WIFE

			But I've really encouraged you to say, the people who deserve your forgiveness the most are your
family members,
		

			your wife, your husband,
		

			your children, your brothers, your sisters, your parents, your parents in law as well. They are also
closely related to you forgive them, excuse them.
		

			And when we say forgive, we don't mean, don't do something about it.
		

			Because sometimes your mother oppresses your wife. And it's happening in many homes. I used to think
it's declining, but in actual fact, it's increasing.
		

			How dare we have a daughter in law in the house, and we really think she is just a maid without a
salary, she must wake up at this time, we must give her an instruction, we will never praise what
she does. And we must keep on treating her like she's just a maid and a slave. Do you really think
Allah created a female in order to just get up and serve the mother in law, or the father in law? Do
you really think that was the reason of creation of the female? Do you not think she has a far
greater purpose than something as low as that
		

			she's doing it for you as a favor. Appreciate it. I challenge all the mothers in law and fathers in
law to appreciate what their daughters in law or sons in law, do for them. Show that appreciation,
talk about it, use your time to say it, it will bear witness for you on the Day of Judgment. They do
a lot. So what they are tired, they will they may not get up when you want them to get up. Because
they are tired, they are ill, they may be sick, they may have children to look after you don't even
know. And you're holding it holding it and you expect to be forgiven.
		

			You expect to be forgiven, how
		

			be kind with your words, my beloved brothers and sisters.
		

			And we have the opposite problem as well. And that is
		

			where these young people get married. And after that, they divorce their parents.
		

			No matter how many times you utter the words of Pollock to your mother or your father, it will not
divorce them because those words don't work with them. They are irrelevant. When it comes to your
parents.
		

			You still have to be kind to them. It's a test from Allah. It's a test from Allah. Allah gave you
parents specifically.
		

			And he commanded you and instructed you to be kind to them, even if they are not Muslim, be kind to
them. Kindness, notice we did not say obedience, because obedience is only within the instruction of
Allah.
		

			If they asked you to do something, and it does not negate what Allah has said, you will do it for
them. But if they have asked you to do something against the command of Allah, you will not do it
for them.
		

			So this is amazing. It's unique. My brothers and sisters, a relationship from Allah. You were born
into those arms into those laps.
		

			You need to show some kindness in that direction. But the point I was raising was, it does not mean
you forgive someone so you don't do something about it. You have to do something about it as well.
So if there is oppression coming from one party to another, stop it somehow forgive them, but deal
with it say Look, my beloved mother. I love you. We have forgiven your shortcomings.
		

			But I wouldn't like this to repeat itself. Again, you have to speak. I know of men who think it is
virtuous to be silent and to watch your mother bulldoze through the whole house and destroy every
relation and break every rule of Islam. But no, that's my mother. I cannot talk Says who? Says who?
Which verse of the Quran says do not swear your meaning do not stop someone who is swearing. Which
verse of the Quran says you must allow your parents to oppress everyone and anyone under your
guardianship. Your wife is under your guardianship. Be careful. Deal with it kindly. You have been
asked to be kind, kind. So speak to your mother with a smile with kindness. She might explode. She
		

			might get angry and upset. You keep smiling because that's your duty. But keep saying what you have
to because you have to say it. You are the guardian of your spouse. You have to say it whether you
like it or not. Whether she likes it or not, whether he likes it or not, whether anyone likes it or
not. You have to see it when it's your duty to say it.