Mufti Menk – Types of people You Will Come Across
AI: Summary ©
The importance of adjusting one's temperament and finding one's own success during the process of existence is emphasized. Personal challenges and mental health challenges are also highlighted as stressors. The brain is seen as the key to helping people with addiction and empowering words to live their lives. Small small steps, such as not laughing at others, are suggested to manage one's mental health and find one's own success. empowering words and not just criticizing people are also emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
My brothers and sisters,
in this world,
Allah
has created us all
very differently in the sense that
the mind,
the face,
the understanding,
the capacity, the ability,
the strength,
And all these things differ from person to
person.
Although we are human,
we are part of the same species.
One of the tests of Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala
is for us to come onto the earth
and navigate
the life.
While we are on earth worshiping Allah Almighty
and going through the challenges
that we will face in our lives,
one of the major challenges is
dealing with different personalities.
So from amongst us, there are those who
are
very temperamental.
How are you going to deal with them?
Or are you one of them?
To deal with them is not easy but
that's part of your test.
You cannot get excited and upset and as
angry as they are to the degree that
you create a war,
knowing that I'm on earth. This person has
a different temperament.
You have to
not just walk on eggshells,
but
it is
depending on who the person is to you.
You will have to adjust and they will
have to adjust. You will have to talk
about it, help them. But at the same
time, it is part of your test. Similarly,
some people are cool and calm and so
relaxed that it becomes an irritation because they
cannot get anything done. That's the temperament Allah
made them in order for you to adjust,
for them to adjust, for the 2 of
you to come together in a way that
perhaps will be beneficial to both. Your Jannah
is how positively you dealt with it. And
that person's Jannah will be how they try
to adjust to improve themselves
so that primarily they do not
miss what Allah has asked them to do.
Upon the time that Allah asked them to
do it, for example, the prayer.
And at the same time,
they then fulfill the rights of everyone else
in a proper manner. From amongst us, there
are those who are wealthy. From among the
wealthy, there are some who are arrogant, some
who are humble. All of that is part
of your test and my test. 2 things.
Where do you fit in if you do
as a wealthy person
on this side or that side? There might
even be a third side. Some people sometimes
arrogant, sometimes not arrogant. That's part of the
test. Or are you one of those who
has to deal with such a person?
You see. So if Allah has put you
in the midst of people
who are wealthy and arrogant or wealthy and
humble,
how do you adjust to that? And what
do you do in a way that brings
you closer to Allah?
Some people are very poor. From among the
poor, there are some who are arrogant, who
feel that you are guilty of making them
poor. And some feel that it's because of
you you haven't given me. That's why I
remain poor. How are you going to deal
with that mentality?
It's Allah who created that mentality. But the
person needs help and it's not easy to
help.
But you will have to adjust and you
will have to make do depending on who
they are to you and what interaction you
would be having
with them.
From amongst us, there are those who perhaps
are very, very physically fit and some who
are weak.
Do the physically fit start thinking that they
can
attack anyone,
beat up anyone,
threaten anyone, or
sometimes they are humble. It's just that they
happen to be that way. You will have
to deal with those people because they are
on earth with you at the same time.
It's unfortunate or fortunate. It's part of your
ticket to paradise to deal with them. From
amongst us, there are those many who are
going through mental challenges. You don't know their
upbringing. Sometimes the trauma they may have faced
as they were children.
Sometimes what happened to them that might have
resulted in who they are today.
But how are you going to deal with
it? It's a challenge. It's part of your
ticket to paradise. Who are they to you?
Number 1, if they are someone close that
you are going to have to deal with,
then you are going to have to deal
with it because that's part of your paradise.
Don't become despondent.
It's not the first person who has challenge
and it's not going to be the last
one, but it's your test while you're on
earth.
Similarly, if you're a person who has
mental stress,
it doesn't mean you're a madman or a
madwoman. No. We all go through it. Different
phases, different levels,
stress, anxiety. These are human qualities at times,
but how do you deal with it? Don't
feel too much of self pity.
Don't begin to doubt the whole world that
everyone is actually an evil and bad person.
Rely on Allah and try your best to
help yourself. Get some professional
assistance. Perhaps go for counseling and don't be
in denial. If you're struggling, no problem. It's
not wrong to go and get help. It's
not wrong. Perhaps you that is what would
actually benefit you. So it depends. And this
is why we say Allah placed you on
earth with totally different people for a reason.
In your own family, there will be different
types of mentalities
understanding.
Some people might not understand what exactly
you
have understood.
Some might disagree with you. Is that disagreement
really worth it or not? Sometimes we fight
over which phone is better to the degree
that we don't talk to each other for
another year. Was it worth it? Throw both
phones away and get along with each other.
It's a minor stupid silly thing.
If it is something very big, very meaningful,
which is
barely the case, then perhaps you might want
to be a little bit more firm in
whatever you're saying, depending on who you are,
what authority you have and so on. Otherwise,
just be understanding
of people. They're different colors. Everyone's favorite is
another. This morning someone sent me a whole
batch of sajadas,
different colors. And they say, which one would
you like? We'd like to give you a
gift. I saw so many colors. I said,
you know what? If they're going to give
it to me, I'm going to give it
to someone else anyway. So what's the point?
May Allah Almighty grant us ease. And I'm
thinking what beautiful colors. But I might like,
for example, a beige or earth color. Other
people might like a different color. I'm not
going to war with them. I will love
the fact that you love a different color
from mine because you know what? At least
I can choose the one I like. Allahu
Akbar. Look at the positive.
So it's okay. Allah has created us differently.
Some people, for example,
they might have
this understanding
in them that they are the best and
that's it. And no one is like them.
You know what? It's a sickness. It's actually
a disease.
But you will have to deal with that
temperament. You are on earth. It's okay.
Some people will doubt you. There are some
Muslims who are intolerant of other Muslims
just because they belong to a different sect
perhaps. So intolerant that they treat them even
worse than the Kufar for example. That's the
those are the colors we find on earth.
Some are indoctrinated with some form of a
doctrine that is really, really
extreme. You will have to deal with it.
You will have to try to help them
again depending on who you are to them
and depending on what you have in, you
know,
to do with them.
Whereas some people are so relaxed, some might
have developed a habit of addiction this way,
that way. They might be,
you know, addicted to *
or drugs or whatever else it may be.
That is part of your test and their
test.
If they happen to be close to you,
a family member, a child, a parent, sibling,
you will have to deal with it. You
cannot cancel them completely
simply because of a bad habit or an
addiction. Are you going to help them? If
you are going to help them, Alhamdulillah.
But to what degree? You will also need
to be helped because sometimes the pressure of
dealing with something within your own home that
might be very difficult would require you to
also get some counseling. Hence, we are talking
about it today. It's okay. You are not
the first person. You won't be the last.
You yours is not the only family that's
going through struggles. For your information,
I do not know of a single family
on earth that doesn't have such struggles as
I'm mentioning today. Not one.
So come on. It's you're normal. You're human.
You came on earth to be tested. That's
what we believe. So these are the tests.
The tests are today you are seated next
to someone. The person is different from you
completely.
They might be a different race. They might
be a different nationality.
That's your test and it's their test.
Do you think you are superior? If you
do, you need
help. Right? Do you think that you are
closer to Allah just because of your color?
If that's the case, you need help and
so on. Do you think you are closer
to Allah because of your authority or your
wealth or how good you look? Not at
all.
So how would we help such a person?
We would have to talk about it in
a beautiful respectable manner to say, listen,
we're on earth. We're all going to share
this place because it doesn't belong to me
or you. It belongs to Allah. Allah put
me here. Allah put you here. You are
here without having asked to come here. And
guess what?
All of us are also here without having
asked to come here. Not a soul is
on earth because they said, oh Allah, send
me onto the earth. Come on. Not one.
Are you are you on earth because you
asked to come here? No. So when you
go, you're also going to go without your
choice. You can't say, oh, la, no. Don't
take me. Just take these guys next door.
It can't happen.
May Allah Almighty grant us ease. If that
was the case and if we had those
type of duas, everyone would be praying, the
other one dies. Allah says, that's in my
hands.
Some people they are violent by nature.
Sometimes you have to stay away from such
people. Again, if they are close to you,
you might need to help them and it
might not be easy.
And some people are so soft in nature
that they keep everything in and that results
in
stress within them. It might result in impacting
their health negatively because they're bottling everything. But
that's their nature. Some people don't talk much.
Some people don't interact much. It does not
make them abnormal
in most cases. It makes them just human
beings of a different color,
different temperament. Learn to adjust. Learn to help
them. Try to bring them the best of
your ability. If someone really has gone into
a shell, are you going to make them
feel like they deserve being in there? Well,
then you failed your test. Or are you
going to make them feel that, you know
what? I'm here to help you. Come. Let's
go out. Let's go for a coffee. Let's
do clean fun. Come with me. Alhamdulillah,
you helped someone. But if you are going
to laugh at people who might seem to
be different from you, then guess what? Perhaps
you might be the problem. May Allah Almighty
help us pass our tests.
So whether it's your child or your brother
or your sibling, family member, relative, community member,
anyone on earth. Be careful because it's a
test for you.
Some people don't like to talk. Some people
really, they speak very loud. Some people are
abusive in the way they speak. Come on.
It's part of the test. There are people
like this on earth. Allah wants to make
you strong
by letting you go through every type of
person there is on earth.
Today, in our country, we know that we
are going through economic challenges.
When I was in fact, let me not
crack a joke about it, but I was
going to.
But nonetheless,
we have something known as the Zig.
Right?
And who knows the amount of pressure it's
brought upon the lower class or the lower
middle class is such that it's brought,
you know, mental
torture
for some who've lost a lot of the
RTGS that they had. For example, if you're
in Zimbabwe, you will know what I'm speaking
about. How are you going to navigate through
this? Are you going to laugh at people
just because you're okay? Or you're going to
reach out and say, brother, if you're struggling,
I'm here. I can't really afford much, but
we are in it together. Are you going
to do that? Are you going to decide,
listen, let me take out a little bit
more in terms of charity. I'll help one
family. If all of us helped one other
family, wallahi,
what happened? You're passing your test.
But if you're laughing at others that, you
know what? At least we're okay. Look at
all these guys. Then you have failed your
test because Allah is gonna take you away.
And when He takes you away, you went.
How many people you helped
would result in your entry into paradise maybe,
and you didn't help a soul, but you
had everything. You left it behind for your
heirs to fight over,
to fight over. You see the hadith says
the best wealth that a person has is
the one he earned with his own sweat.
So therefore, if you inherited something, it's not
the best of wealth. It's yours. Yes. But
it's it's not the best because the best
is what you had with your sweat. You
realize its value. You know what it's all
about. You've understood
the minute you just received without any effort.
It's another test. What is the test? The
test is what are you going to do
with it? How are you going to deal
with it? And so on. All these are
things you will find on earth in your
short 70 years stint on this earth, if
you are lucky. A lot of us have
left. I'm saying us. A lot of people
have left before 70.
May Allah Almighty grant us paradise.
So when you see people go easy on
them, you don't know their lives. You don't
know what trauma, what stress they've been through.
You don't know what difficulties they're facing within
their circles, in their businesses, in their jobs,
if they have one anyway,
or in their families within themselves.
People don't have the capacity to go through
things. Some people have such a big capacity
that you can torture them for 10 years
and they can still look at you and
smile and say, salaam alaikum. Everything okay? Whereas
there might be another person whom the first
bit of torture they taste. Flip the mind.
Flip the mind because they don't have that
capacity.
Allah has created people with different capacities.
From amongst us, some can memorize the Quran
so quickly. Others, they struggle. They can't. The
hadith says, if you can read the Quran
beautifully, you get a beautiful reward. You have
a very high status. But if you are
struggling, you get a double reward. Look how
Allah is dealing with it for you. Just
say, don't worry.
We know you're struggling. You're a bit slow.
No. Don't worry with us. You get a
double reward because you are making the effort.
Subhanallah. Look at that.
So look how Allah helps. It and Allah
says it's your intention. Some can achieve, some
cannot achieve. Sometimes the poor used to complain
at the time of the Prophet
regarding how the rich can give charities. The
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam says after your salah,
your farab, read subhanAllah, alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar 33,
33, 34. You'll get a reward even bigger
than all of that. SubhanAllah.
Look at how he says. He dealt with
it. Make them feel that at least we
can also do something.
So what I am trying to say today
is we are all different. And on earth,
in your own circles, you will find very,
very different people.
Try to be
contributing in their lives in a positive way.
And if you are a person who's going
through struggles,
ask Allah's help
and help yourself and seek help sometimes professional
help. Like I said, you're going through mental
challenges, anxiety.
Doesn't make you a mad person.
When I was little, we used to hear
about psychologists, psychiatrists and think, hey, that's for
mad people. No, it's not. It's not.
It's not. Not at all. It may be
professional help. Maybe a visit or 2 might
help you. SubhanAllah.
May Allah Almighty grant us ease.
Similarly, when you're living with people, understand that
the brain,
the brain
is one of the most important
organs Allah has given you and everyone else.
Watch
what you allow
to shape your mind.
Who do you listen to who keeps telling
you? They shape you. They either belittle you
or they empower you.
Whether it's religious scholars or friends or circles,
what do they tell you? Because your likes,
your dislikes, your hate, your love, your this,
everything
has to do with what was put into
your brain.
If you're a person who's
understanding,
open minded in a in a good way,
you might be religiously strict on yourself, but
you understand on earth not everyone's going to
be on the straight and narrow that you
think you are on. You might not even
be on the straight and narrow, yet you
think you are on it. Other people will
try to convince you that they are right.
No problem. They are on
earth. Do I have a better argument? Or
perhaps I know something. Let's talk. Let's
deal with it in a proper manner. So
remember the brain, what you allow in it
is something that can actually make you
struggle with mental
stress or anxiety or depression or whatnot, or
it can liberate you.
Go easy.
You know, crack a joke about things sometimes
because in all honesty, if you're going to
take everything so seriously, you're going to literally
struggle
and you won't the few years on earth,
you won't enjoy your Ibadah. People are saying,
but, you know, I call out to Allah
and Allah is not helping me. Allah told
you not to worry and you worry. And
some people have in their nature
worry about
everything on earth.
I'm worried about me. I'm worried about this.
I'm worried about that table there. I'm worried
about the weather. I check a cloud. I
think there's going to be a perhaps
flood, because there's flood somewhere else.
Suddenly I hear a sound. I think there's
going to be an earthquake. Come on. Go
easy. It's okay. Let's cross the bridge when
we get there by the will of Allah.
Don't worry about anything.
You're struggling today. The struggle is not going
to continue. You're looking for a job. Don't
start thinking now. I'm not gonna afford food
and this work hard. Try your best. Keep
trying a year, 2 years, 10 years. It's
okay. 15 years, Allah will look after you.
Somehow Allah will always take care of you.
Don't worry.
That's a promise of Allah.
I always say if Allah provides for the
ants that you can't see and those whatever
organisms, whatever, that you can't see, Allah provides
for everything. Do you think He's going to
miss you and I who are saying, Ashaduallaha
illallah? He can't miss you. He won't.
May Allah Almighty bless all of us. I
hope that all of us can learn to
respect each other in a beautiful way. We
we learn to adjust ourselves to become beautiful
people. We need really to help each other,
talk nicely to people. You don't know what
impact it has when you just offer someone
respect.
That's
all. And the opposite is true when you
swear them, insult them, belittle them, keep belittling
someone. You know, sometimes we do it to
our own kids,
where we tell them
you're stupid. Or we keep on telling them
you're useless. You can't achieve. Do you know
that that's the brain I was talking about
being filled with a belief that I can't
do anything? And so you grow older believing
you can't do anything. So you don't do
anything. Not because you can't, because you were
always told you cannot.
And therefore empowering words of appreciation.
Well done. You can do it. You are
the best or you are good or mashallah
give them Those are empowering words. This is
the brain I'm talking about. Learn to fill
it not just for your own circle but
even wherever you get an opportunity.
Give people a good word, empowering word. Wallahi.
You will see the world change.
You live a happy life. You come and
you feel like being a part of society
and community. We care for each other. That's
the ummah.
You're never going to be able to bring
everyone on the same level because it was
part of Allah's plan to have everyone different.
But it's part of Allah's plan for us
to do something positive about it and never
do something negative about things. And don't ever
be the source of the problem. May Allah
Almighty help me reflect
and may Allah help me to improve myself.
May Allah forgive me for my own shortcomings
and what I just said about myself. May
Allah give it to all of us.