Mufti Menk – Taking advantage of a kind heart! say NO!

			Assalamualaikum my brothers and sisters, some of us are very kind hearted. Mashallah so polite, so
gentle, so loving, so caring, may Allah make us that way. That's a very, very good person. And do
you know what, at times people take advantage of that. So they ask us to do things. And they ask us
to go to places or to consume things, or to dress in a certain way, or to do something to please
them. And we know it doesn't meet our values and morals, or we're not comfortable with it, or we
don't agree with it. But because of your good nature, what happens?
		

			You cannot say no. So you end up doing it and you regret later. The pain of saying no, is far less
than the pain of the regret, that's going to come later on. Remember this? So learn to say no, even
if you're kind hearted, learn to say no to excuse yourself, make any excuse that's valid, and just
say no, if people are inviting you to trouble, say, No, if they're inviting you to consume
something, you know, you're not supposed to be consuming, say no, the discomfort of saying no is far
smaller than the discomfort later on.
		

			Similarly, if a person is trained to ask you to say something, do something or whatever else, it may
be that you know is wrong.
		

			Say No, you must know how to set these boundaries. Because true friends will always appreciate the
know. And they will understand your level. And in future, what they will do, they will count you out
of what they know, you wouldn't do automatically because they are your true friends. But those who
are uses and abuses, you know what they do, they will make sure that because of your kind heart and
because of your soft nature, they continue to trample over you and upon you, such that they make you
cry when you're all alone, or they make you despair, or be so depressed and stressed when you're all
alone later on, because they forced you to do something you didn't want to do. Knowing that you
		

			wouldn't say no, because you're a kind hearted person. Have you been trapped in this way?
		

			If the answer is yes, it's time to go back. seek the forgiveness of Allah be a little bit stronger
than you are. Say No. And say politely, but be very firm Subhana Allah, no need to be impolite. Just
say look, I'm so sorry. As much as I'm kind hearted. And you can admit it, if you are new people are
quite kind hearted. Mashallah, as much as I'm quite kind hearted, as much as I'm caring and loving.
But this unfortunately goes beyond my
		

			liking, or my comfort level, my comfort zone, whatever you want to call it. In fact, not even a
comfort zone, you can just say, I wouldn't like to do this. I'm not comfortable with it. That's what
it is.
		

			And tell them if you really care for me, please don't push me to do this. I wouldn't like to take
calls. May Allah bless every one of us. This is just a small piece of advice to those who are kind
hearted and it's also a piece of advice to the others who have been abusing others just because
they're kinda hard to stop it. Don't do that to people. If they're not comfortable with something,
leave them leave them, especially if that thing is negative. And that thing is not good. Or it's not
a very high level. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect every one of us and help us to address this
matter. May Allah help us to say no when we have to say no. And when people have said no to us, May
		

			Allah help us digest it with a smile akula Kohli ha that was salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah. But I
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