Mufti Menk – Should I Marry the previously Married. Divorced or Widowed.

			Salam aleikum. So the sister says, My father will not allow me to marry this man because he is
divorced and he has a child. Or the brother says, My folks are not allowing me to marry this woman
because she is widowed and she has children. Is it wrong to marry a divorced person or a widow? The
answer is no. In fact, it is recommended Subhan Allah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
himself did it. And so did the companions. If you look at the wives of the Prophet, sallAllahu,
Alayhi, wasallam. All of them were previously married besides one who was that one shot of the law,
and the rest of them were previously married either widows or divorced women. And there is nothing
		

			wrong. In fact, to look after the children of others is such a great quality, where if you've
married someone, and they have children, and you were to take care of them, give them a good
upbringing, you'd actually be fulfilling a sooner meaning a practice of the Prophet Muhammad peace
be upon him that very few people have the opportunity to fulfill. And you would get a great reward
for that. Imagine, because you are doing it for the sake of Allah, and for the love of these
children and perhaps their mother or their father, may Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for a so
be easy going and understand that Allah subhanho wa Taala has definitely kept goodness in this for
		

			us. There is nothing wrong in marrying someone who is divorced, or who is widowed, even if they have
children. So my brothers and sisters, you've got to look at the person, they may be a brilliant
person. And many times many times those who are divorced actually have a little bit of experience in
relationship. So they would be a much more refined person, many times. And this is something that
people don't consider. I know in many cultures, the minute they say this woman is divorced, the
parents are not even interested in their child marrying this person. People who don't even believe
in our faith are much better in this regard than us. They are prepared to actually give people a
		

			second and a third and a fourth chance. Remember when divorce happens.
		

			Many times the people are quite innocent. Maybe they were two different people. And they got
together It was a mistake. So they drifted apart and they divorced. Sometimes one is wrong. One is
right. Sometimes both are wrong to a certain extent. But it does not make anyone bad Subhanallah you
need to find out that person might have been so good. And somehow maybe the problem was from the
other party, you don't even know. So don't just judge a divorced woman or a widowed person. Don't
just judge them. You know, Subhanallah some people don't even want their daughters to consider a
divorce man or a widower. And the other the other way as well, where some people don't want their
		

			sons to consider a divorced woman or a widow.
		

			Remember, that has nothing to do with Islam, or the teachings of the Prophet salallahu alayhi
wasallam you consider someone on merit? And at times these women who are divorced or widowed, are
amazing women. Sometimes Subhan Allah had a blind I mean, they would be the best wives, and you've
just lost out or your children would have lost out your child would have lost out because you
blocked it. How? I guess you would have probably tried to block a lot of the marriages of the
companions of the Prophet peace be upon him. If you lived at that time, that's probably why you're
not there. So behind Allah, I always tell myself, you know, why are we not chosen to have been the
		

			companions of the process and and then I remind myself, that I think many of us would have disagreed
with the Prophet stouffville la sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, many of us would have declined and
denied because for us, the culture comes before the religion I'm not saying culture is bad, but
religion comes before culture. Always remember that. Allah subhanho wa Taala help all those who are
divorced and widowed, to get spouses who will be the coolness of their eyes, and those who are
considering someone who's divorced or widowed. Mashallah, congratulations, will not bless you. Now,
I do know there are those who have never been married before who might say what about us? Well,
		

			you're already in the picture, man. Bless you all, as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah blackcat